Hayden: What are you doing right now?
A huge grin lit up my face as I read the message. Since our confession/cuddle on the beach last night, I was left with waves of uncertainty of what was going to happen next. We didn't discuss nor define what we were - it was too soon to put a label on it. But we were that bit more than friends.
What was going to happen next? I had come to the conclusion that I wouldn't hear from him until school, where we would either hang out or he would continue to ignore me and refuse to accept his feelings.
The fact that it is barely 10am and he has messaged me, gives me hope that things might actually work out.
Grace: Nothing, I'm bored. You?
Hayden: I'm coming over.
Biting my lip, my smile grew. I have never experienced this giddy, nervousness that suddenly plagued my body. I was always confident and at ease when it came to boys.
But Hayden? It was like this was my first time ever. I have dated boys before, but nothing felt like this. And we aren't even dating, so that's saying something.
I had not long showered, my hair still damp, hanging limply down my shoulders. Shrugging out of my oversized t-shirt that I had planned to wear majority of the day, I changed into a loose, sun dress with a daisy print on it.
Not long after, I heard the familiar rumble of Hayden's Ute. I don't bother going downstairs as I know he will just walk in without knocking anyway. He seemed to be comfortable doing that, as most of my guests do.
I hear his footsteps ascend up the stairway before he lazily strolled into my room.
"Hey," I smile, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. I suddenly became acutely aware of what my movements were. My hands were up behind my head, as I was playing with my hair, contemplating whether leaving it down or twisting it into a messy bun.
"Hey," he replied, flopping onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling. "Whatcha' doing?"
I breath a sigh of relief as everything seemed relatively normal between us, considering what happened last night.
"Seriously nothing," I admitted, coming over to the bed and taking a seat, keeping a healthy distance between us.
I'm not sure what is worse - being frustrated at him for not being honest and sending me mixed signals, or this stage where we have both admitted we have feelings for each other, but there's now the pressure of what is to come from it.
"Was thinking about going and getting some lunch?" I suggested as he didn't reply. I had not planned on leaving the house, honestly. That was something I thought of on the spot.
"It's 10 in the morning," he pointed out with a playful smirk.
Damn. Busted.
"Er- Brunch, then?" I amended with a small smile. "I haven't eaten yet."
"Brunch," he said slowly, mulling over the thought. "Okay. Sure."
I get to my feet, reaching for my wallet.
"Are you wearing swimmers?" he questioned as I slip my feet into my sandals.
"I don't always wear swimmers," I laughed.
He grinned. "I thought we could go to the beach, or something? After we eat."
"Oh, okay." I agreed with a nod, impressed with his effort.
I enter the bathroom and stripped, replacing my underwear with my blue and white striped bikini. I slid the loose dress back over my body and grabbed my towel, draping it over my shoulder.
"Did you bring a towel?" I asked as we made our way down the stairs.
"Yeah, it's in the Ute."
I trail behind him, after locking the front door and slide into the passenger seat. I settle into the seat, the leather feeling cold against my skin. I inhale with a smile. The car had this scent about it, a mixture of 'new car smell' with Hayden's cologne/natural smell. It is something I can't quite describe, but it is a smell that I want more of.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked, peering out of the window as we drove down town.
Surprisingly enough, I wasn't blessed with the crippling sensation of anxiety as we drove. I think I am beginning to trust and feel comfortable with Hayden now. Both him and Harvey have seemed to make their way through my anxiety, which is something I'm quite thankful for.
"You'll see," he mysteriously remarked, his tone playful.
I love this side of him. The side where he isn't trying so hard to be distant and vague. He is just being himself and I honestly really enjoy it.
It feels weird that this is only our first ‘date’, when I feel like I’ve liked him for so long. Despite Ashton pulling my focus momentarily, I think I have always been drawn to Hayden, whether I really knew it or not.
I study him for a brief moment. I like watching him drive. He is so carefree and relaxed – I’m not used to it. He is always so tense and rigid at school. He had his hand placed on the steering wheel, his thumb lightly tapping the leather. His other hand was loosely resting on the gear stick. I cock my head to the side as I stare at the plain, silver bracelet he had wrapped around his wrist. It is simple and elegant, but somehow seemed quite masculine at the same time. I never noticed it before.
"Heather bought it for me," he said as he noticed my gawking.
"You mean your mother," I teased.
"Heather, mother," he shrugged. "Same difference."
"My mum would be offended if I addressed her by her actual name, instead of mum," I told him thoughtfully.
"She deserves to be called Heather sometimes."
"If you say so."
He pulled the car, rather abruptly, into an angle park and my shoulder roughly hit the window.
"Ow," I complained, rubbing my shoulder, even though it really didn't hurt that much.
He winced. "Sorry. I'm trying to drive a bit smoother, since you yelled at me."
I let out a laugh as I crawled out of the car. "You deserved it. You drove like a maniac."
"I was angry."
"So, you wanted to kill us? Wrap your Ute around a tree?" I taunted as I followed him into Mickey's, the burger shack that Harvey and I go to quite regularly.
"I'm a good driver."
I scoffed. "Who say's?"
"Me, that's all the matters," he said firmly, before walking over to a corner table.
Sliding into the booth, I sit across from him.
The moment we sat down and looked at each other, the pressure I spoke of before, suddenly felt thick around us. This hangout suddenly developed a 'date-like' feel as we stared at each other. I tear my gaze from his and stare absently down at the menu, suddenly feeling a little nervous.
What the hell is with this nervousness? I don't like it, one bit.
"Hi ya'll," a cute, young girl with rosy cheeks greeted us, a paper pad in one hand, a pen in the other. "What can I get you today?"
"I'll have a chicken schnitzel burger with no mayo, please," I requested politely.
"No mayo?" Hayden exclaimed. "You're kidding, right?"
"No, it's gross," I replied, wrinkling my nose. "It makes the lettuce soggy."
"I don't think we can do this," he said with mock seriousness, waving his hand between us. "I think this is a deal breaker."
I let out a giggle as he grinned, looking back down at the menu. My cheeks were warm as I realised I actually giggled.
"Can I have the special? I think it's 'Surf's Up', right?" he questioned, still looking down at the menu.
"Right," the girl nodded in agreement, jotting down the order. "Your order comes with a large coke and fries." Hayden nodded, before handing her his menu. "And for you?" she asked, reaching over and taking mine, before I had the chance to pick it up.
"Apple juice, please."
"Apple juice?" he deadpanned. "Really?"
"Are you going to have a problem with my entire order?" I scolded with a frown as the girl skipped away from us, with a little too much bounce in her step.
"Only because you order weird things."
"I do not."
"Apple juice," he repeated. "Come on."
"Shut up," I laughed, playfully swatting his arm.
The girl brought us our drinks over and Hayden shook his head as I took a sip of my juice. I ignored him.
Silence fell between us, as I knew it would. I lean forward, planting my chin in my palm as I stared at him.
"Let's play 21 questions."
"21 questions?" he echoed.
"What better way to get to know each other?"
"Alright," he agreed, clasping his hands together. "Favourite colour?"
"Oh, starting with the hard ones," I snickered. "Blue. You?"
"No, you can't do that," he said, rolling his eyes. "You need to come up with your own question."
"But I want to know," I protested.
He sighed. "Green, happy now?"
"Yes," I smiled. "Go on."
"Unfair," he muttered, taking a sip of his coke. "If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?"
"America," I replied without hesitation. "I am dying to see New York."
He rolled his eyes. "How cliché of you."
"Hey! It's a cool place."
"As if you wouldn't want to go to Dubai."
"Dubai?"
"Yeah, they have the sickest cars over there," he said seriously and I laughed.
"Typical." I responded. "How old were you when you began swimming?"
"I started swim club when I was about..." he trailed off, leaning back in his chair as he thought. "Eight, I think? Maybe nine?"
"No wonder you're good," I muttered. "I was about 12, I think."
"Swim club, too?"
"Hell yeah, Marlins all the way," I grinned.
"Sharks," he said proudly.
"Of course your team name is cooler and meaner than mine," I laughed.
"Makes sense," he teased.
The waitress placed our burgers in front of us, on oval shaped plates. I thanked her once she put the fries in between us.
"Favourite food?" he asked me as I took a bite of my burger.
"Tacos," I replied with my mouth full.
"Classy."
I grinned and he made a face at me.
"If you could choose to have one super power, what would it be?"
"You're so weird," he laughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Um... I reckon I'd like to fly. It would just be easier than walking. Or teleporting. Something to do with travelling faster."
"Good one," I nodded.
“What’s your favourite flower?”
“Why?” I smirked and he rolled his eyes. I notice that his cheeks have gotten slightly redder.
“Just answer the damn question.”
“Roses,” I replied. “I love any flowers, really, but roses are my favourite.”
"You are seriously the messiest eater," he scrunched up his nose as he noticed the sauce running down my hands.
"Yeah," I replied, once again with my mouth full. "I get that a lot."
"Can't imagine taking you to a fine restaurant," he laughed. "We would get kicked out and never let back in."
"That's just mean."
"Truth hurts."
I laughed and half choked on my chicken. He let out a loud laugh, causing heads to swivel our way as I almost choked to death. I quickly down some juice, in attempt to relieve my throat as Hayden continued to laugh at me.
We continued to play the game as we finished eating. I picked at the fries in front of me, dragging out eating them so I could sit here longer. I want to talk to him all day. Our conversation continued to roll, never seizing for a moment, even when we got up and thanked the girl for her hospitality.
Now we were passed this awkward stage, I find that Hayden has really opened up. I'm beginning to see the guy, that I think he used to be, before whatever happened between him and Carrie.
"Beach?" I asked as we re-entered his car.
"Yeah."
After sliding the gear into first gear, he placed his hand on my bare thigh. My eyes widened as I stared down at his hand. My pulse quickened as he inched it up slightly. I let out a deep exhale and attempted to seem nonchalant.
Today has been amazing. We got along better than I thought we would and he is touching my thigh. The mere, simple gesture has my heart rate increasing and blood rushing to my cheeks.
"Are you hot?" he asked, glancing over to me.
"What?"
"Are you warm?" he questioned, quirking an eyebrow at me. "Do you want the air con on?"
"Not really, why?"
"You look flushed."
That's because you're touching me.
"Oh, no, I'm fine," I said with a shrug, leaning on the door frame, attempting to act normal. I must be really red for him to notice. My dark complexion comes in handy when I'm embarrassed but clearly, not today.
We pull up to the car park near the beach and he removed his hand from my leg. My skin tingled from the lack of contact and my eyes were glued to the spot he touched.
"Coming?"
I shook my head to clear my thoughts and scramble out of the car. I hadn't realised he had gotten out. I grabbed my towel and followed him to the path.
My legs felt stiff as I recognised man in front of us. Ashton was underneath the shower, washing off the sand from the beach.
His eyes met mine as he turned, making me freeze, feeling like I had been caught doing something I wasn't meant to.
"Hello," Ashton greeted, turning off the nozzles. His voice sounded slightly strained. His nostrils flared when he first saw us, indicating he is not happy that I am here with Hayden.
"Coach," I replied in a clipped voice.
"Beautiful out there in the water," he said to us and I tried not to stare at the water glistening on his abs.
"Looks like it," Hayden replied, his voice monotone.
"See you at school," I said awkwardly, before we walked away.
I felt his eyes on us as we walked down the sand-littered path. I step out of my sandals and place them in my hand, before walking down onto the hot sand, happy that Hayden hasn't commented on the fact that we saw Ashton.
The beach is popular today, which is unsurprising considering it is a beautiful, sunny Sunday. There are small clusters of families and couples splashing around in the white froth, created by the rolling waves.
I place my towel onto the sand and just as I sat down, Hayden wrapped his arms around my waist and hauled me onto his shoulder. A feminine squeal left my lips as I dangle upside down.
"Hayden!" I exclaimed with laughter, slapping him on the butt.
"Don't grope me," he huffed as he sped-walked towards the water.
"Says the one who has me captive!"
He was almost waist-deep in water, before he let me go. The water was icy cold as it hit my skin like a thousand, tiny needles. I gasp, coming up for air, spluttering. I got to my feet, sending him a hot glare.
"You're going down."
"If you can catch me," he taunted, before diving underneath a wave.
I leap after him and managed to grab his foot. The force of the wave knocked me back, causing my hand to slip. I emerge, to see he is quite in front. I paddle out after him, trying to go as fast as I can.
Finally, I reach him. I jump onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He withered underneath me, trying to get me to release, but my grip is too tight. I wrap my legs around his waist and cling to him. He dived under a wave and I tucked my head in, pressing my forehead to his shoulder blade.
I inhale a lungful of the salty air when we emerged. He let out a loud laugh.
"You've got a bloody good grip on ya'."
"Tell me something I don't know," I smirked, tightening my hold once more.
I thoroughly enjoyed having my body this close to his. His skin felt warm as it touched mine, despite us being surrounded by the cold, salty water. He gave up trying to get me to let go as he continued to wade through the water, shouting "hold on" before diving under waves.
We finally made it out the back, to the point before the waves broke, when I let go of him. I swam around to his side and we shared a breathless smile.
He splashed water at me and I jumped onto him again, shoving his face under the water.
"Do that again and I'll untie your swim top," he threatened.
"You probably want to do that anyway." I laughed.
"Good point."
My cheeks burned at the thought of him seeing me, partially naked. He eyes dropped from my face, to my chest. I think he is having the same thoughts that I am.
Dragging my eyes from him, I look out at the water, letting the unformed wave move my body up and down.
"I used to date this girl," he suddenly said as silence had fallen between us for a few moments.
My eyes dart to him as he stared past me and out to the water.
"Carrie," I stated.
"Carrie," he agreed quietly, frowning. "She looked similar to you."
"So I've heard," I remarked dryly.
"I must admit, that's what drew me to you," he confessed, his eyes flickering to mine. "But you're so different. In every way."
"That's good, I think?"
"Definitely good," he murmured thoughtfully, more to himself I think, than me.
"Tell me about her," I demanded. "I hear about her so much, but know nothing."
He let out a deep sigh. "We dated for years. It was serious. I thought I loved her and all that shit."
I snorted at his word choice. "And all that shit?"
"Yeah," he said, giving me a lope-sided smile. "Anyway, some pretty hectic stuff went down with my family. It was a really bad time for me. I burdened her with a lot because... That's just what you do, you know? You tell your best friend the shit that's going on in your life."
My heart panged as he called her his best friend. That is really sweet. It made me feel sorry for him and I don't even know what she did yet.
"Right," I agreed, urging him to continue.
"She was the only one I felt like I could talk to about this. She acted like she cared and wanted to know, but then told everyone I was too intense and all this shit."
I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded.
"The more that went on with my family, the more pissed I got with the world and at everyone. But she was my rock, you know? She was there for me, when I felt like I had no one."
I chewed at my lip as I listened.
"I felt her pull away from me. I knew it was so much for her to handle. I was depressed, angry, annoyed all the time, but of course I was. The situation with my family was messed up. She had become distant but I thought we would get through it. I didn't expect to find her with someone else."
A gasp left my lips even though I already knew it, deep down. "She cheated on you?"
"Yeah," he said quietly, not looking at me. "With someone I never expected, either."
"Not Mike?" I asked, but in some ways hoping he would say yes, but I knew he wasn't going to. I felt my heart beat faster as I realised what he was going to say.
He let out a dry laugh. "Coach Brennon."
I looked down into the water, feeling sick. Carrie cheated on Hayden with Ashton. I had a fling with Ashton. He is going to be beyond crushed when he finds out. I know he will. Mia has the evidence on her phone and from last night's performance, I'm surprised she hasn't already sent it.
"You look kind of pale," he noted. "Sorry to burden you with all that."
"It's fine, I'm glad you told me," I replied with a weak smile, feeling queasy. "Starting to make sense now. All of the Carrie stuff."
"Yeah," he huffed, shaking his head. "She kept saying it wasn't serious but I was done with her."
I gulped, feeling light headed all of a sudden. "Yeah."
"She moved schools because it was so awkward. We were in the same group but couldn't stand each other. Well, I couldn't stand to be anywhere near her."
"To East Wood, right? Where the Eagles are?" I asked, thinking back to Taylor's tormenting.
"Yeah. To make it worse, she knew Taylor and I have been competitive against each other for years. She knew how hard we fought to be on top and she dated him anyway. I think she did it as revenge, because I didn't forgive her. Which is dumb because like hell I would forgive her now."
"That's true," I agreed, my throat dry.
"Anyway, enough of that serious talk," he said with a forced laugh. "I shouldn't have even brought it up. I ruined our day, didn't I?"
"No, of course not," I lied. "I'm glad you felt you could tell me."
He gave me his adorable, dimpled smile. "Let's head back in?"
"Sure."
I wade after him, letting the waves carry me back to shore. I watch his tanned, well-built body emerge from the water, droplets running down his skin. I stare down at my feet.
I felt like crying. He had shown me how great we could be. How much fun we could have together.
I'm going to ruin it because I have to tell him.
When I do, I know he will want nothing to do with me.