After Hayden ignored my call for the third time, I began to realise that he knew.
Panic flared through my chest and began to course through my veins. I felt nauseous at the thought of Hayden never wanting to speak to me again.
With trembling fingers, I dialed Harvey's number.
"Hello?" he answered in a cheerful voice.
"I think he knows."
"You might need to be more specific."
"I think Hayden knows. I pushed Mia last night. I think she sent him the photos. He's not answering my calls," the words tumbled from my mouth at an alarmingly quick rate as I began to pace the floor of my kitchen. "What should I do? I don't even know how to explain, like, he might not want to even listen. Harvey, I don’t want to lose him."
"Slow down for a second," he said calmly. His voice was soothing to me. I inhale a deep breath and exhaled loudly, feeling slightly better. "Are you okay?"
"No. Maybe. I don't know."
"Why don't you go over to his place and see him. You're freaking out and overthinking things. You never know, he might be doing the same thing. The best way to deal with this, is to go talk to him. Give yourself a chance to explain everything."
I mulled over Harvey's words in my mind. They made a lot of sense, why didn't I think of that?
"You're kind of amazing."
"I know."
"Thank you," I told him earnestly. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"Me either, honestly," he chuckled and I can see his friendly smile appearing in my mind. "Now calm yourself down before you go over there. Just be cool, yeah?"
"Cool, yes, I can do that."
"Good luck!"
He hung up and I focus on slowing down my breathing. I change my clothes into something a little nicer, before making my way towards Hayden's house.
As I got closer to his driveway, I notice there are a number of cars parked on the lawn and down the street. I can hear music in the distance, making me nervously wring my fingers together.
I move to the front door and press my ear to it. The music is definitely coming from inside. I knock and step back, waiting. After a few moments pass, I knock again. After waiting, looking like an idiot, I jiggle the handle. The front door swung open, with a slight creak.
Poking my head inside, I heard voices but none close. Slithering through the door, I wander through the house and out the back. I freeze when I see a series of people and children, were all gathered in their backyard. I see Heather sitting beside an elderly couple, speaking with them. Over the music, I can hear the children's laughter as they chase each other.
I totally crashed a family gathering.
Turning my back on the scene in front of me, I plan to bolt out the door.
"Excuse me?" a voice asked. "Can I help you?"
Damn.
"Oh, hi," I smiled, turning around to see a young girl. When I say young, I mean older than me, but no older than mid-twenties. She has vivid, green eyes, mirror to Hayden's. She has the same, tanned complexion he is blessed with. Her hand, that sparkled with a pretty looking wedding ring, rubbed her swollen, pregnant belly absently as she waited for me to explain myself. "I'm Grace, a friend of Hayden's. I didn't realise he had family over. I didn't mean to intrude."
"Oh, you're Grace," she smiled knowingly. "Nice to meet you! I'm Amelia, Hayden's favourite cousin. I think he's in his room with Allan," she explained. "My other son," she added, noticing my blank face.
"Right. Thank you," I said politely.
Great. I have to see Hayden and explain myself, when he has all his family over. This is going to make me look even worse.
I begin to walk towards the stairs, when I hear a voice.
"Carrie?"
My first initial reaction was to keep walking. My brain didn't really process and connect the fact that the person was talking to me, obviously mistaking me for Hayden's ex.
"Carrie, hey," the voice said again, but this time, fingers wrapped around my upper arm. I stiffen, feeling awkward. "I haven't seen you in so long. Why haven't you replied to any of my messages?"
I turn and the boy's eyes almost pop out of his head. He stepped back, shock written all over his face.
"Woah, sorry, I thought you were someone else."
"I get that a lot," I told him with a polite smile. "I'm Grace, Hayden's friend."
"Oh, right. I'm Andy, one of the cousins. Sorry about that. I was, er, friends with Carrie."
I quirked an eyebrow as his cheeks flushed crimson red. It was obvious he had liked Carrie more than a friend, by the way he was so embarrassed and the way he touched me. I suddenly felt so repulsed, looking like her. She already cheated on Hayden with Ashton, she could very well have done the same thing with his cousin, too.
I smiled at him, before walking up the stairs. I felt his eyes on me the entire way. Shaking off the weird vibes, I knock lightly, before entering Hayden's room.
Hayden stood there, holding a young boy in his arms. He is smiling down at him. The smile he wore is something I haven't seen before. It held such genuine kindness and love that I felt my heart strings tug inside my chest. He looked hot, with his tanned, muscly arms wrapped around such a small, delicate child. I felt my lips part as my tongue basically flopped out of my mouth.
"Oh, hey," he suddenly greeted with a smile. "I didn't know you were coming over."
The smile on his face had relief washing over me in ginormous waves. He didn't know. I was worried for nothing.
Right now, anyway... my subconscious reminded me, tauntingly.
"Yeah, sorry to gate crash," I replied. "I tried to call."
"I don't have my phone on me," he explained. "Grace, this is Allan."
Allan is wriggling around in Hayden's arm, desperate to get out of his hold. He glanced at me, giving me a big, rosy-cheeked smile, before he continued his conquest of getting free.
Hayden finally released Allan and he began to crawl in circles between us. I watch him with a smile on my face. I am the youngest of my cousins, so I never got to see kids. His eyes held so much excitement as he explored the floor of Hayden's room.
As I had been so focused on watching Allen, I hadn't noticed that Hayden was striding towards me. Placing his hand lightly on the small of my back, he pulled me to him. He swiftly pressed his warm lips to mine. I think it was meant to be just a peck, to greet each other, but once our lips met, it was a different story.
He placed his hands either side of my face, as he deepened the kiss, his tongue invading my mouth. I leaned into him, seeking his warmth as I responded. After running his hands down my back, he rested them on my butt, squeezing gently.
He pulled back, before pressing his forehead to mine. I smiled at him as I looked through my lashes, meeting his bright eyes.
"I really wish that kid would crawl out of this room right now," he murmured to me, his voice raspy.
"I agree," I replied, my voice thick with emotion.
Bringing his hand up, he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. I nipped at it with my teeth and he let out a soft groan, squeezing his eyes shut.
"You're a tease."
After leaning in and giving me one more kiss, he stepped back. His cheeks are lightly pink as he ran his hand through his hair. I bite my lip softly. It is still tingling from where he touched it.
"We better join the party," he said to me, still affected by our kiss.
"Sure," I smiled, suddenly feeling quite nervous. "Uh, Hayden, I need to talk to you about something."
"Alright," he said, scooping Allan up into his arms. I almost forgot what I was going to say I stared at the picture in front of me. Hayden smiled down at Allan, tickling him, making him giggle with laughter. My insides began to melt. This is way too cute and it is making me slightly emotional. "Shoot."
"Well, a couple months ago-"
"Hey guys," Andy called, sticking his head through the door. "We're going to do the cake soon."
"We're coming now," Hayden told him.
I sighed, a little annoyed I couldn't just tell Hayden and get it over and done with.
"Sorry, what were you saying?"
"Don't worry, I'll tell you later," I assured him even though I could feel myself shrinking internally.
Maybe this is a sign...
Maybe you're making excuses, my subconscious whispered.
I follow him down the stairs, debating with myself.
"Who's birthday is it?"
"Allan's," he replied.
I dramatically gasped. "Is it your birthday?"
He nodded, his ringlets bouncing around his face.
"Happy Birthday!"
He began to clap his hands together in excitement.
As we made our way out the back, Amelia came over to us.
"Here's my handsome birthday boy," she grinned, taking Allan into her arms.
"Amelia, have you met Grace, yet?" Hayden questioned.
"We have," she smiled.
After Hayden introduced me to a few more of his cousins and his grandparents, I went over to Heather and said hello. We spoke for a few moments, before Jackson, Amelia's husband, came out with a ginormous, blue cake, in the shape of a car.
As Allan blew out the number 3 candle, everyone clapped and a few took photos.
Hayden drew an arm around my waist, pulling me to him. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head against his shoulder as we watch Jackson, begin to cut the cake.
"I'm really glad you're here," he murmured to me.
"Me too," I replied.
No matter how perfect and wonderful this moment is, I can't squash the niggling feeling that it is all about to come to an end.
***
I was sliding my gym bag onto my shoulder, when I heard Hayden's Ute pull to a stop out the front of my house.
Getting to my feet, I hurried down the driveway, hoping he had the heat on. I scurried into his car and sighed in relief when the warm air was blasting from the vents.
"Cold?" he asked with his adorable dimpled smile.
"Yes, hence the scarf, beanie and track pants," I laughed, gesturing to my mismatched outfit. "I don't even think this beanie is mine, but it was in the spare room so someone must own it."
"Looks cute," he smiled, reaching over and pressing his lips to mine.
This bad become our thing, just over the weekend. It is so couple-like. It felt so natural and normal to kiss him.
As he drove, he reached over and wrapped his hand around my own. I smile the entire way to school, loving the feel of his skin on mine.
We walk, hand in hand, towards the gym. I loved that he felt comfortable to do this.
After a tight squeeze, he dropped my hand as we walked through the entrance. When we reached the locker room, I was surprised to see Mike's arms around Mia as she cried into his chest.
One, I didn't think Mike had it in him to be the supporting type.
Two, I didn't think Mia had emotions, other than hatred, let alone show them off in front of everyone.
Hayden and I exchanged an uneasy glance. We walked over towards them and I hung back, dropping my bag onto the bench. I pulled my jumper over my head, dreading taking off my warm clothes and shoes. It is freezing this morning, the temperature having dropped significantly. Luckily, the pool is heated.
"Hey," I heard Hayden say to her. "What's wrong?"
"My dad," she choked out. The room is silent, except for her breathing and sniffles. We all awkwardly went through our usual routine as Mia spoke to Hayden. "He had a heart attack Saturday morning."
"Oh shit," Hayden replied. "Is he alright?"
"Yeah, he is now," she sniffled, wiping at the corner of her eye. "When I got home Friday night, he was up. He was saying he didn't feel very well. We sat up and watched Suits, because that's his favourite show."
"I know," Hayden said softly.
"And then, on Saturday he woke up, still not feeling well..." she hiccupped, wiping at her eyes again.
Coincidentally, Saturday morning was when I was meant to have brunch with mum and her new boyfriend, but she got pulled into heart surgery. Go figure, it was Mia's father she had to operate on.
"As long as he is alright now, is the main thing," Hayden said to her and I am impressed that he is being so kind and supportive, even if it is to Mia.
As the Coach isn't here yet, not that I was looking forward to seeing him, I slip my jacket back over my shoulders. My skin is covered in goose bumps. I bounce on the balls of my feet, trying to keep warm.
I walk over to the group. "Sorry to hear about your dad, Mia."
"Fuck off you are," she growled, narrowing her red-ringed eyes into slits.
"Well, if that's what I get for being nice," I shrugged, turning, completely unaffected by her words.
"Hey, no," Hayden interjected, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. "Mia, I know you've been through a lot this weekend and you're still upset, but Grace was only being nice. Aren't you two sick of being at each other's throats all the time?"
She ran a tongue over her teeth. "Thanks, I guess."
She only said that because Hayden is here.
"Especially considering my mother was probably the surgeon who operated on him," I told her nonchalantly, unable to help myself.
"What?" she asked slowly, looking like she had just seen a ghost.
"My mum is the top cardiovascular surgeon at the private hospital. She rang me and told me she was pulled into emergency heart surgery on Saturday morning."
Mia's mouth fell open as she stared at me, incredulous.
"See," Hayden said to Mia, nudging her arm. "You should be thankful of Grace and her family."
I was surprised that Mia gave me a small smile, instead of saying something about how I wasn't there or that I didn't have anything to do with it. Again, she probably would have if Hayden hadn't been standing right next to me.
"Alright ladies and gents," Ashton boomed, materialising at the doorway. "Let's get out there and warm up those muscles before we all freeze."
I begin to walk out, rubbing my hands together, when I heard Ashton speak again.
"Hayden, a word?"
I feel my heart plummet into my stomach. I stop, looking at Ashton in horror, who had an arrogant smirk twisted onto his lips.
"What, are you two a package deal now?" he teased, his tone slightly menacing. "Run along, Connaway. I need a word with the Captain."
I swallow uneasily. Hayden seemed unfazed as he stepped back, leaning against the locker door, folding his arms across his chest. His usual, tense self is back.
My legs felt like lead as I walk out the doorway, my heart feeling heavy in my chest.
I am in serious trouble.