“I am so sorry.” Jessie apologized immediately. She is always sorry after a childish act.
Furiously, I looked at her, then back again, this time quickly to check what I saw again. “Jessie… you are braless,” I whispered, covering my flushed face.
“Yeah, it's no bra day, everyone is supporting you except you.” She replied with pride.
“It's indecent,” I whispered back, feeling a bit insecure, wondering how she has such a perfect pair even without a bra. Mine will never look that good without a bra.
Her boobs were perfect, her nipples visibly piercing through her transparent white crop top, down to her tiny waist. I noticed her pierced belly button and a tiny silver waist bead on her waist. She's indeed beautiful. I sighed in frustration.
“The truth is that everyone is perfect here except me.” I can't believe I said it out loud. I covered my mouth with my hands and gazed up at Bruno. I wondered if he heard me, but as soon as I saw the ear pods in his ears, I was relieved.
He seemed busy texting with his phone and eating at the same time.
“Oh come on, Beauty, you are also beautiful, you know, you are just… chubby.” Jessie shrugged.
I sighed again. “You can call me fat, Jessie. It's okay, I won't get offended, it's my reality after all.” I replied.
“For goodness' sake, you ain't fat, you are chubby, there's a huge difference, okay?” Jessie lectured, trying so hard to prove a baseless point.
I stole a glance at Bruno again. He never looked up at us. How can someone be so anti-social?
“Jessie, can we talk later? I want to eat now, please.” I hoped she would buy it.
“Why?” Jessie replied with a tight frown. I knew it wouldn't be so easy, though.
“Like… I… I said. I wish to eat.” I replied, my brows arched.
“You look uneasy. Why are you so uneasy? Your face is flushed, are you blushing? Why are you blushing for me?” She raised a brow suspiciously.
“I am not!” I snapped back.
“Yes, you are, you are sweating, what's up babe?” She replied.
“Jessie, please, for goodness’ sake! Food time, okay? We can continue this discussion later. Now I have to eat and get back to work.” I sounded serious in a way that made her suddenly agree.
“Well, why not, that tone in your voice scares me, girl,” she replied. I shook my head. She leaned forward, pecked my cheek, and left. As soon as she was long gone, I stole a glance again at the table where Bruno was sitting.
His phone was still in his hand, he had hardly touched his food, and he looked so into his phone, with his hands working on it like he was being remotely controlled.
What an introvert!
I need to say something. I can do this, just say something. Thank him for standing up for you! Come on, you can do this, Beauty. This is the only time you can get to talk to him in person outside work, go and show your gratitude… oh no, I can't do this. I covered my face and sighed, my palms and ears turning red.
You are only going to embarrass yourself. You will look like a joke to him, desperate for attention. You are fat and ugly, and everyone sees you as an idiot, even… Jessie sometimes.
How on earth do you think you will make friends with him, Mr. Bruno?
A tear dropped from my eye. Stupid! Why the hell are you crying at a moment like this? I need to stop thinking, or I'll embarrass myself with those tears. I dried my wet eyes with my fingers slowly. I looked up and then our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat at the same time! I quickly faced the food I was eating, pretending to enjoy it.
Oh my God, that was unexpected! How long has he been staring without my notice?
Wait. How possible was that? Mr. Bruno was staring at me!
Is he still staring at me? Slowly I stole a glance.
His eyes were back on his phone for some reason. I was disappointed.
I should do it now, what's the worst that can happen? I cleared my throat.
Finally, I am going to say something to him after three years of working in the same company with him. Having a secret crush on him. What should I say, I need to say something first.
Sir, you haven't touched your food, are you worried… you can talk to me… I will listen to you. I shook my head. No… No way, sounds like what a pick-me would say.
Sir, you are always busy with the phone while eating, bad table manners. What the hell, I am not his mother either, what's the best word to start with? I was dragging my mind.
“Nice phone pouch, sir.” Wait! I said this one out. So stupid, I slapped my forehead.
He gazed at me and then at his phone pouch with a confused expression on his face.
I understand him. It's just plain black. My compliment sounded lame. I smiled awkwardly at him, realizing how stupid I must have sounded to him.
“Thanks.” His voice was so calm, like a deep ocean.
“He said thanks?” I murmured, shocked at that response.
“I… wanted to say… I am truly grateful for… what you did back there.”