The silence in the car was almost unbearable as we drove back from the fair. The lights from the street lamps flickered by, casting shadows across Tristan’s face, but he never glanced at me. I wasn’t sure what I expected after what happened on the Ferris wheel. Maybe more conversation. Maybe some clarity. But instead, there was just... silence.
Am I still with the same Tristan or he happened to have a twin who is cold and unapproachable?
I leaned back against the seat, staring out of the window, watching the night blur past. My heart was still racing from everything. The kiss, the weight of his words, the tension that had been building since I showed up. But now that it was all out there, it felt like nothing had changed. Nothing had been resolved.
We didn’t speak. The only sound was the hum of the engine, the tires against the pavement, and the occasional turn of the wheel. I could feel Tristan’s presence beside me, but he was just as distant as he’d been before. Nothing about him had softened, nothing had changed. His hands gripped the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road, and I couldn’t tell if he was lost in thought or just... ignoring me.
I should’ve said something, anything to break the silence. But I didn’t. What was there to say? What was there left to say?
Finally, when we reached my apartment, he pulled the car over to the curb. He didn’t look at me as he put the car in park.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, his voice flat and emotionless.
I nodded without saying a word. He didn’t wait for me to get into the building, he just drove off as soon as I closed the door behind me. The engine of his car faded into the distance, and I was left standing on the sidewalk, my mind racing, my chest tight.
I took out my phone, planning to call him because the situation suddenly became unsettling. He was fine twenty minutes ago, but after we got into the car, he became distant instantly. I pressed on his name, ready to call him, but somehow I hesitated. Better give him time and ask about it tomorrow.
The next day at work, I was assigned to work on a project with Lucas as soon as plopped my ass. The work itself wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but the atmosphere between us felt different than it had before. Lucas was calm, easy to talk to, and for once, I felt like I could relax. I wasn’t overthinking every word I said, every glance I caught. He was... comforting.
I found Tristan walking pass by and called him to greet him. He turned to him and quickly left as soon as I got up to walk up to him. What was that? I tried to follow him, but Lucas called me to talk more about work. I told Lucas to wait and ran after Tristan.
“Hey, is everything okay?” I poked his shoulder.
“I’m fucking busy, Mia. I hope you stop bothering me today.” He snapped and I looked at him confused. Instead of picking a fight with him, I decided to go back to Lucas who was already waiting for me.
We worked together throughout the morning and afternoon, discussing ideas, brainstorming, and bouncing feedback off one another. Lucas had an effortless way of making everything feel light. I found myself laughing at his jokes and feeling a sense of ease that I hadn’t felt in days. He was the kind of guy I could see myself being with kind, considerate, and with an easy smile that always seemed to brighten my day.
As we worked, I couldn’t help but notice how easy it was to be around him. The way he listened to me. The way he made me feel seen. Comfortable enough to be myself and not thinking about to kill him.
But there was something missing.
Something I didn’t want to admit to myself. The butterflies. The thrill. With Lucas, I didn’t feel that electric pull, that spark of desire that seemed to crackle between me and Tristan. I could tell myself it was because Lucas was steady, dependable, and everything I should want. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was settling for comfort when what I really craved was something more. Something... dangerous.
I caught myself staring at Lucas, his smile soft as he looked up at me. He was cute, I couldn’t deny that. But the feeling wasn’t the same. I found myself wondering—did I want comfort? Or did I crave the thrill that only Tristan seemed to bring?
As if to answer my own question, I felt the familiar pang of confusion rise in me. Before I knew it, I was leaning toward Lucas, my lips brushing against his in a soft kiss. The kiss was brief, but in that moment, everything felt right—and wrong, all at once.
I pulled back, looking into his eyes, my heart racing. He didn’t say anything at first, just stared at me, the surprise evident in his expression. And then... I saw it. The discomfort. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do with the sudden shift between us.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling a surge of guilt rush through me. “I don’t know what came over me.” But before I could say anything more, the sound of footsteps approached. I looked up, and there he was—Tristan.
His gaze shifted between me and Lucas, and I saw the storm brewing behind his eyes. I could feel the tension thickening in the air, the way his jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides. It wasn’t a surprise. I knew the look in his eyes. It was the same one I’d seen before when he wanted something. When he didn’t like being ignored.
He didn’t say a word to Lucas, but I saw the way his eyes darkened with anger, and before I could get up to explain, he left. I turned to Lucas and he raised his eyebrows, questioning my actions. I apologized to him again and he seemed cool about it.
I continued to finish our work and when it’s time to go home, I hid in the bathroom to avoid Tristan. He better go home fast so I can have some peace and have a space to think. I waited for 30 minutes, but as soon as I got out, he was already waiting for me.
“Let’s go,” he said, his voice low and tight, barely controlled. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me out from the office. I tried to pull away, tried to protest, but his grip on my arm tightened, and I knew better than to fight him. “Tristan, what the hell?” I snapped, feeling the sting of both embarrassment and frustration. “What are you doing?”
“You’re coming with me,” he growled, and I felt his fingers dig into my skin. “Now.”
“No. I want to go home.” I protested. The car ride to his apartment was heavy with tension. I didn’t say anything. He didn’t either. We both had too much to think about, too much to say, but neither of us wanted to say it. The silence between us was suffocating.
When we arrived at his apartment, he barely let me in before he pushed the door shut behind us. I stood there, feeling like I had no control over anything anymore. I was angry. I was confused. And I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore.
“You think you can just kiss Lucas and act like it means nothing?” Tristan asked, his voice low, but edged with something dangerous. “You think you can just walk away from everything we’ve been through like it’s nothing?”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words caught in my throat. I had no idea what I was doing. One moment I was pushing Lucas away, and the next, I was kissing him. And now here I was with Tristan, trying to make sense of my emotions, but not even knowing where to start.
“You’ve been acting like this is some game,” I bursted out at him and glared at him. “I’m so confused with you. One minute ago you’re comforting me, then you suddenly act like you’re ignoring me. Then you act like I didn’t exist, now you’re angry at me because I kissed him. You’re confusing me, Tristan! I’m so confused that I can’t even put words into it.”
I didn’t know how to tell him. I didn’t know what to say. So, instead of trying to explain, I lashed out. “You’re acting so weird, Tristan,” I said, my voice trembling with frustration. “You’ve been so distant, and now you’re angry because I kissed Lucas? What do you want from me?!”
Without a word, Tristan stepped closer, his hands gripping my arms with bruising force. His eyes were locked on mine, and there was nothing but raw intensity in his gaze. He leaned in, his lips crashing against mine in a kiss that was far from gentle. It was fierce, punishing even, as if he was trying to make me feel everything he was feeling.
I tried to push him away, but he didn’t relent. His hands moved to my back, pulling me closer, and I felt myself giving in, my body responding to him despite my best efforts to stay in control.
When we pulled apart, both of us breathless and shaken, I finally found the words I’d been avoiding. “What am I to you?” I whispered, my voice barely audible, the question hanging in the air between us.
Tristan’s expression softened for the briefest moment, but then it hardened again, his gaze cold and distant. “You’re mine, Mia. There’s an unwritten rule about it.” he said, his voice like steel. “But I need time… I need to figure out things.”
“Figure out what?! What do you need to figure out?”
And with that, the silence returned, but it wasn’t the same as before. This silence was thick with unspoken words, with emotions neither of us were ready to confront.