I had to respect his commitment, his attention to detail. And it wasn’t like I was being paid badly. The money I was making was allowing me to give Macy things I’d never dreamed of before. Finally she had a new coat, new sneakers. I was able to give her money for school trips and music lessons. If I was careful about my spending, we were even going to be able to fly home to Wisconsin this Christmas, see my folks, who hadn’t seen Macy since she was four. I poured my money into my daughter, finally able to give her a taste of what she deserved. And proud of it. But in doing so, I had to put up with Alex. The handsome billionaire, asshole who always managed to put a downer on my day.
But back to the important issue at hand—by which, I mean, the shoes.
After Alex had told me about them for the twentieth time, I went out and got myself a brand new pair of Penelope Chilvers loafers. I could feel a tingle of excitement as I came in that day.
All morning I waited for Alex to show up. When he finally did, I waved to him cheerily behind the bar.
As usual, he fixed me with a look.
“Something I can help you with, Lola?” he said.
“Take a look,” I said.
Alex stepped behind the bar, and I twirled for him.
“You look very nice,” he said. “Very pretty.”
I stopped, and blushed. “Notice anything different?” I said.
Alex looked at me blankly, and shook his head.
“Yousure?” I said.
“I don’t get it,” he said irritably. “What am I meant to see?”
“Myshoes, Alex!” I said. “I got new shoes! Like you said?”
He rolled his eyes.
“You call that a shoe?” he said, and marched through the door and up the stairs to the office.
I sighed, and puffed my cheeks out, wandering miserably over to where Andy was polishing a stack of glasses.
“Don’t mind him, baby,” said Andy to me. “He’s just a grump.”
“Some grump,” I said. “I wonder what made him that way?”
Andy looked around to see if no one was listening.
“You know what I heard?” he said. “Alex ain’t got no family. I mean, nothing. He grew up in Philly. North side. Fairhill. My cousin grew up there. That’s a tough neighborhood.”
I almost didn’t believe it. I couldn’t. I’d assumed Alex had come from wealth. He was just so sophisticated and aloof.
But the truth was I was more confused than annoyed with him. And when he’d told me I was pretty, I’d felt something between us. Electric and mysterious, and lost to the past. Or so I’d assumed until now.
***
Juggling my job and Macy was tricky. I woke early and got her to school. If I was on a day shift, I could be back home by the time the bus dropped her off and make her dinner. But if not, Sara picked her up for me and put her to bed. She was my rock, and I paid her back by looking after Luis, her son, now and then. But the worst days of all were my double-shifts when I closed. Working them meant I got two, sometimes three days off. But it wasn’t easy—and I didn’t get home until late, sometimes 1.00am.
But Sara never complained. “You go out there and find yourself one of those rich uptown men, baby!” she told me. And we laughed.
I was closing one evening atThe Blue Orchidwhen I had every waitress’s nightmare: three complaints at once.
“This steak’s medium-well,” said one customer. “I wanted it medium-rare.”
“This wine tastes funny,” said another.
“I don’t like this. I want something else. The steak.”
“I’ll get that right for you,” I said to each one, and for once, I felt glad for my big, goofy smile. Cherise had gone home and now it was me and Andy, who watched me with increasing sympathy from the bar.
“I only got one more steak,” said the sous-chef, when I explained I needed two on order.
“Can you uncook this one a bit?” I said. He gave me a look that sent me scampering from the kitchen. But somehow they always came through.
It was closing time when I’d finally finished dealing with the customers. I finished my shift and sat down at the bar. There, I put my head in my hands and began to tear up. It had just been such a long day. I’d been at work for sixteen hours, and all of a sudden, I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted to get home and see Macy. I went into the corridor and up the stairs.
“Lola?” said a voice behind me.
I knew that voice; knew its dark tones, its harsh edge. It was Alex’s voice. But I’d never heard it so soft.
I turned around, and there he was. “What’s wrong?” he said. I turned away, sniffling.
“Don’t pretend like you care, Alex,” I said. I was tired of playing his games.
“I care enough. You’re one of my employees. Can’t we talk about what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“You look like you’ve been crying.”
“Oh, no,” I said. “Just a little, I guess.”
But then I began to burst into tears.
He was at my side in a moment, and his strong arm was around me, his big hand on my shoulder. I looked up through the tears, and that night, something dazzled in his eyes. Not cold anymore, but warm.
“Come on,” he said. “Come and sit down for a bit.”
He took my hand in his, and I remembered how comforting it felt to have my hand wrapped in his gentle grip. I stepped into the office. It was warm and comfortable inside, elegantly decorated with antique wooden panels and an enormous desk, with a comfortable couch.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve been harsh, lately.”
I shook my head. “It’s fine,” I muttered. “What did I expect?”
“You can expect that sometimes I’ll act like an ass,” said Alex.
I smiled at that, and looked up into his eyes.
“Yeah?” I said, giggling a little and wiping away the last of my tears. Hewasan ass. But in some ways, he felt like my ass. Like he’d shown a softer side I hadn’t known was there.
“Yeah. I’m sorry. I just, well. I don’t always know how to be with you.”
The tension between us was flooding the room, the darkness heightening the sensation that it was just me and just him. Two warm bodies that were now unbearably close. I felt a safety and comfort in his presence now. Here in the office, I was reminded of a night long ago, before everything got so damn complicated.
“Have you ever tried being yourself?” I said.
“I guess,” said Alex. “Doesn’t always work out too well when you’re a guy like me.”
“You’re not that bad,” said Lola.
“I feel like I am sometimes,” said Alex. “When I look at you.”
“Don’t be silly,” I said, laughing.
In the closeness of the room, I could hear every sound. The beating of Alex’s heart, and the pounding of my own. I let my head fall onto his shoulder, and looked up at him.
He bent down and kissed me, and warmth spread from my lips into my chest.