Ariella
I slept like a baby, even with the stress of Davonyé on my shoulders. I check my phone but he still ain’t replied to my text from last night. His sudden silence is making me anxious as hell.
He knows we’re mates. But even if he Googled it like he said, it doesn’t explain why he knew the term to begin with. The way he acted when dad showed himself couldn’t have been fake, so who has he met recently that knows about us?
This ain’t good.
I get showered and dressed into a tracksuit before goin’ in search of dad in the main house. I can sense everyone around me which is the strangest feeling. I know there are moose wandering near the house, too. I can not only sense them all, but I can also smell them. I can pick out individual scents and smells. Like I know that dad is making cheese eggs and toast before I even get inside the house, let alone the kitchen.
“Good morning, baby. You want some?”
“Yes, please, if there’s enough.”
“There’s plenty.”
I make a coffee and a bagel for my eggs. Davonyé’s last words weigh heavy on my mind. I’m gonna come over…“Dad, could we start training today?”
He gives me a quick glance. “I’m ready to go whenever you are. But can I ask why?”
I sigh as I sit at the island and stare at his back. “It’s Davonyé. He said he’s gonna come here. I don’t think he’s gonna be okay with staying away from me so I need to get this shifting under control ASAP.”
He nods thoughtfully before turning to face me. “He’s your mate, princess. You can say you don’t want him coming around all you like but if you’re honest with yourself, you know you do, and that’s normal.”
“Yeah, but, not while he’s, y’know, with… I don’t wanna get jealous and hurt him. The thought of doing something to him…” My emotions get the better of me and I feel the tears pooling. “I would never be able to live with myself…”
“Hey,” he says, stepping around the island to hug me. “We won’t let that happen, alright? Don’t cry baby. You’ll set mom off.”
“I’m sorry.” I pull out of his arms and wipe my face. “Morning, Mom.”
I turn around and she walks over to hug me. “Sweetheart. Don’t worry, okay? The stress isn’t good for you.” She squeezes me before she lets me go.
Dad spoons some eggs onto my plate. “Eat, drink some water, and then we’ll get gone. There’s a place a few miles from here that’s perfect for us to train. We will stay out there for as long as it takes for you to control your ware, alright?”
I instantly feel the relief and nod. “Thank you.”
***
I had no idea how much planning dad had been putting into my training for the past twenty years, but when he opened his bedroom walk-in wardrobe and I saw the already packed rucksacks, my heart literally burst.
Mom really hit the jackpot with dad; not only is he an amazing father to me, but he also treats mom like a queen. It makes me wonder what Davonyé will be like with me. Is he gonna take care of me like that? I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I only have my parent’s relationship to compare one to.
I hope he does…
We’ve run quite a few miles south, but I don’t feel the littlest bit out of breath. Amazing… There are a few cliffs and caves around us, and a small lake that’s frosted over. Dad owns this land so we shouldn't be bothered by anyone.
I help dad erect our tents and then he teaches me how to make a fire using only flint. I feel fully accomplished afterwards and can tell I've made dad happy, too. I secretly wish mom was here with us, but at least she gets to experience it through dad’s eyes.
“First things first,” dad says as we have a moment over cocoa. “I had something made for you.” He passes me a black cotton bag that feels soft inside.
“Something made for me?”
He nods his head. “Yeah. Me, too, but mainly you.”
I pull two pieces of stretchy blue fabric from the bag and then unfold them. “Uh… A bikini?”
“It stretches.” He shakes his head. “I don't need you worrying about being naked in front of your old man while we're working. I got shorts for me.” He doesn’t look too happy about that. “They're uncomfortable as hell but at least it will save your eyes.”
I laugh hard. I can't help it. “Honestly, dad, you didn't have to.”
“I did. I know eventually you won't care about others seeing you naked, but honestly, I feel just as protective over your body as I do your mother’s. Probably more because you’re my baby and the thought of people staring at you makes me wanna rip someone’s heart out.” He lets out a low growl of discontent.
“Don't worry, dad.” I smile reassuringly. “There's only one person I want seeing me naked.” Ugh... So badly.
He narrows his eyes at me. “That don’t make me feel any better.” He gets to his feet and helps me up. “Right, let's get you changed.”
I take a deep breath. I know what's coming.
“So, we need a trigger. Something that’s enough to get you angry...”
I roll my eyes. “I know what you're gonna use, dad.”
“Really now?”
“Yeah. My mate and his girlfriend. You're gonna try use it to make me angry.” Ugh, and it’s probably gonna work, too.
“You think you slick, huh?” He crosses his arms. “So tell me, how does the thought of them together make you feel?”
It makes me feel too much, that’s what it makes me feel. “Jealous. Upset. Angry. Sad…” Faulty, not good enough, inadequate…
God, I feel so many things.
Dad regards me carefully. “And what if he never leaves her? Can you deal with being the other woman?”
I suddenly get a sinking feeling inside. “But we’re mates. He wouldn't do that, would he?”
“He ain't left her yet,” he says nonchalantly.
“Yeah, but only beca—”
“I’m sorry, but you might have to live with being second best, princess. And if you do decide to go back to school, then you'll have to watch them every day as a happy couple while you’re left being the secret.”
My heart begins to race. “No!” Davonyé wouldn't do that to me.
But he took Carisse to Ontario with him. If he was gonna break up with her then he wouldn't have taken her.
Dad’s right.
I scream but it turns into a howl as my snout appears in front of my face. I’ve managed my first shift, but I quickly turn away from dad because I still feel like a failure. My heart is aching so bad.
“Baby girl?” I hear him coax behind me.
I don't turn around. I can't face him.
I feel his hand on my side. “It's okay to be upset.”
I huff and feel the tears begin to run through the fur on my face. I look down at the black and white hair on my arms; I should be excited that I've managed to change. I should be admiring how strong, weightless, and powerful I feel right now, but all I feel is an overwhelming sadness and a deep longing in my heart.
Because even if Davonyé has chosen to stay with Carisse and keep me as the side chick, I still wish I was with him.
The fur on my arms disappears and then my line of sight lowers. The next thing I feel is dad draping a sheet over my shoulders before he turns me around to hug me. I cry my heart out against his chest.
“I just wanna be strong for you and mom, dad, but I just can't right now.”
“What? You ain't gotta be strong for us, baby girl,” he says while rubbing my back. “You can't keep bottling this shit up. Your mate is with another woman so of course that's gonna hurt you. This ain't just a crush you have. You two are mates, Ariella. The mere thought of your mother with another man almost killed me when we spent all our years apart. I don't know how I would’ve reacted if I had felt her getting close to another man or even paying them attention.”
“I just want it to be better,” I whisper, trying to hold back more tears. “I want him to love me.”
I sense mom fast approaching and then her arm is around my back, beside dad's. “He does love you, sweetheart,” she says and then hushes me as I shudder. “He's just confused about how he feels. Once he knows the way he feels about you isn’t going away, he’ll be yours and only yours. It kills me to see you like this, Ariella. You've been holding this in because you think you're stronger that way, but you've gone about it all wrong. Werewolves are passionate beings. We feel things so much harder than humans, so to suppress your emotions, especially now, is like self-inflicting pain.”
Dad releases me and they both look at me. “You are everything to us. Whether you laugh, cry, get angry, sad, or make mistakes, we love you unconditionally. Do you hear us?”
I nod my head but they quickly hug me again as more tears come.
***
I managed to calm down and get my shit together. It took a while, though. I think I've been holding so much in for such a long time that I needed a good cry to get it all out.
Mom stayed and helped me find my trigger in a kinder way. I've practiced changing over and over again now, but it's still early days for me and I know I have at least until the end of the week out here.
God, help me.