Davonyé
I stare into darkness. Carisse is sleeping on my chest, but I've barely slept at all. I'm tryin’ to convince myself that what I saw today was a figment of my imagination, but deep down, I know it wasn't.
Her dad turned into a fuckin’ werewolf, man, like a full-on, fifty-foot fuckin’ monster! I left Ariella’s house so damn fast afterwards. I couldn’t get my shit together quick enough.
“Don’t hurt my Daughter,” Clarence warned my ass before I left. “I’ll hurt you far more than what you could even imagine possible.”
I ain't spoken to her since. I dunno what the fuck to say. She kept telling me, over and over, but I didn't believe her. But then, no one in their right mind would.
Shit is unreal.
And as much as I wanna forget that I ever met her, forget what I saw, I just can't.
I’ve tried. I took Carisse out for dinner, tried to be the star boyfriend I always am to her, tried to block out all the shit I been doin’ behind her back with Ariella, but nothin’s working.
I had to think about Ariella just so I could get hard for Carisse. She was gettin’ suspicious about me not wantin’ to fuck.
And I always wanna fuck.
I just don't wanna fuck her anymore. And the worst thing about it all, was the feeling of guilt I got afterwards. I damn well felt like I cheated on Ariella, not Carisse. I’m tryna buy time so I can figure this shit out, but the more I think about everything, the more everything just points me right back in the direction of Ariella fuckin’ James.
The hell am I gonna do? Ariella ain't messaged me either so I know I must’ve hurt her feelings. She trusted me with her secret, with her damn virginity, man, and what the fuck did I do in return? I threw that shit back in her face. It wasn't my intention to upset her, but I was spooked as fuck.
“You need to think carefully about what you want,” Abriya said to me when I was gettin’ my shit together. “You can’t run from this.”
Trust me, I know I can’t. The more I try to the more that shit pulls me back. When I think about last night with her, all I know is that I wanna be with her again. She’s addictive. Every time we’ve done something, it’s made my feelings towards her stronger. She’s becoming like a craving; all my thoughts are consumed by her and I can’t see past it.
But even with the fact she’s about to become some fantasy creature that’s completely unnatural, I can’t help but still wanna be with her. I’m praying I can get over this shit, but I’ve got an ominous feeling that ain’t gonna happen.
***
“We should skip school so you can give me some more of that good fuck you gave me last night,” Carisse says as we leave for school.
“I can't miss anymore classes, Carr,” I say, trying not to have an attitude. I've been feeling off since I woke up, like something’s about to happen any minute. Like I'm meant to be somewhere and I ain't.
“I was just joking, babe, damn. What the fuck is up with you?” She angrily opens the car door to get in and it pushes my buttons.
I glare at her over the roof. “Nothing, aight? Get your ass in the car.”
She slams the door once she’s in and it pisses me the fuck off.
I jump in the driver’s seat. “You can walk your ass to school if you want,” I almost shout. “I don't wanna deal with yo’ moody ass.”
“Me moody?” She scoffs. “You're the moody one. You been acting weird for days now, Davonyé! You fuckin’ with someone else?”
“No! What the fuck gave you that idea?”
She crosses her arms. “Oh, I dunno, maybe how you been usin’ every excuse possible not to fuck me.”
“Who was fuckin’ you last night then, huh?” I start the car and drive, thanking God we don't live far from school. I don't even wanna be around her.
“Fuck knows.” She mutters under her breath and then pulls out her cell.
We spend the fifteen-minute journey to school in silence, and after I park up, Carisse jumps out and storms away. I punch the steering wheel. “Fuck!”
My life is a damned mess; everything is off balance. I can't think straight and now that I’m thinking about it, the only peace I've felt these last few days is when I’ve been with Ariella.
Shit always comes back to her.
Every.
Damn.
Time.
She's become my peace out of nowhere.
Fuck! It’s her birthday today! She’s changing into a werewolf; her first time, too.
I pull out my cell to text her, but I can't think of what to say. Before I know it, I've left the car park and I’m driving towards her house. I wanna make it before she turns so I can tell her I’m sorry.
And I need answers.