Ella
Drew and Ella hadn’t even finished speculating what Hector and Felix’s strange little outburst had been about when Felix walked back in the break room. Conner had laughed, listening to them as the two girls—mostly Drew—had gone at it. She’d been certain Hector had been teasing Felix about Ella. They all watched as he walked toward them, smiling sheepishly.
“Maybe he’s coming back to tell us what was so funny,” Drew offered as she crunched down on her celery stick.
Their conversation and Drew’s speculating had already gotten Ella’s heart pounding in that way she had zero control of calming. Watching him approach them only made it that much harder to stay calm.
“Hey,” he said, lifting his chin in Drew and Conner’s direction. Then his eyes were on Ella, and her insides fluttered as they always did now when he looked at her.
“Care to tell us what the joke was?” Drew smirked.
That flattened his smile a little, but he kept his eyes on Ella even as he shook his head. “You know Hector. He was just being an ass. Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked Ella then glanced at Drew and Conner and back at Ella again. “Alone?”
Ella gulped, trying to keep her cool, but she knew better than to so much as glance at Drew. Without even looking at her, Ella already knew what she was thinking. “Um, sure.” She nodded, standing up slowly and looking around. “Where?”
Felix glanced around, too, then back at her. “Outside?” His eyes suddenly darted down to the table at her small Ziploc bag of cherries. “Unless you’re not done with your lunch.”
She shook her head quickly. “I wasn’t having lunch. That was just a snack.”
Drew lifted the baggy and held it out to Ella with a huge grin. “Take them with you.”
Ella took them and started walking away before Drew could do or say anything Felix might pick up on. As much as her insides were going absolutely nuts, she reasoned this didn’t mean anything. He could just want to talk to her about the classes or the breast-cancer-awareness walk.
Why alone?
It was what her head kept screaming despite her attempts to drown it out. She stopped trying to rationalize it. She’d know, soon enough. Instead, she concentrated on staying calm and collected. She even managed to glance at him and smile as they walked out of the employee lunch room.
“Did you decide on whether or not you’re taking the full-time position here?” he asked as they reached the escalators.
She exhaled slowly, relieved that it was business after all that he wanted to talk to her about. But it worried her. Was Nellie losing patience with her? Is that why she’d sent Felix to ask her instead of asking herself?
“I’m sorry I’ve taken so long to get back to you guys.” She leaned against the escalator rail and looked up at him. “I just wanted to be absolutely sure before I commit to something so big, because it would mean me quitting my other job. I’ve also been acting as the stand-in assistant manager there until she gets back from maternity leave, and I hate to leave them hanging. But she’ll be back this week. I did tell Nellie I’d have an answer before the end of this week. Did she send you—?”
“No, no,” he said quickly. “I was just curious. Nellie hasn’t mentioned anything about it. I wasn’t even sure if you’d gotten back to her or not.”
“Oh,” she said a little relieved but also confused. “Well, yeah, more than likely I will be taking it. I’m just waiting for this assistant manager to get back before I make my final decision.”
“Don’t rush on my account,” he said as they reached the bottom of the escalators. “No one asked me to ask you. I really was just curious.”
Just curious. Like he’d been about Grayson. The statement only served to rattle her further. She nodded as their eyes locked like they had so much the past few weeks, and the realization set in. This wasn’t what he’d wanted to talk to her alone about. Once again, her insides roiled. They were stopped several times on the way out by people wanting to say hi to Felix. Some even asked if he could pose for a photo with him, but he declined, saying it wasn’t a good time for him.
As they continued to walk in awkward silence, they were stopped yet again, this time by a trainer wanting to introduce Felix to his newest trainee. The exchange between Felix and the young wide-eyed and obviously adoring fan reminded her of Grayson’s blunt words. She’d finally answered his call days after the night at the gas station. Even though she’d insisted that her relationship with Felix was nothing more than a business one and that she’d just met him the day Grayson had seen them together, he still made sure to point out one thing—that Felix’s world and hers weren’t even in the same galaxy.
“You’ve heard all the stories about him,” he’d said. “If he does decide, just for giggles, to make you another notch on his belt, I hope you’re not silly enough to think you’d be any different from any of the other girls he bags all over the world. And I’m being nice referring to them as girls. You and I both know only a whore would give it up to someone she knows she has no chance of anything real with. Don’t lower yourself to their level, Ella. You’re better than that, and you know you deserve more.”
It’d been the same thing Drew had said only Drew said it in a much nicer and subtler way. After several occasions of seeing Ella’s exchanges with Felix, Drew had come to the same conclusion Carmen had—there was something about the way Felix looked at Ella. She said Charlee had first noticed it during their night at Barros. Drew had been too busy writing things down and conducting her interview to notice, but Charlee told Drew she’d definitely picked up on something from Felix. Unlike Grayson, Charlee’s take on it was far more positive, even romantic. She said she’d never seen Felix like that and thought it was sweet. But then, like Drew said, Felix was the one 5th Street partner she and Charlee knew the least. They hadn’t been around him nearly as much as they’d been around the others. So Charlee could be way off.
Ella hated to admit it, but she’d begun to think the very thing Grayson said before she’d spoken to him about Felix. Despite the number of breathtaking moments she’d been caught in Felix’s incredible eyes and the times when she thought she’d seen some kind of glimmer in them like the day he’d held her hand, her opinion had been the same as Grayson’s. She was still sticking to her protective mode. If, by some miracle, she was next on his checklist of conquests, she had to be smart about this—think with her head not with her heart.
There was no denying his track record with women, and shamefully, after the day he’d held her hand, she had looked it up. Not once had the guy been in a committed relationship. The closest he’d had was with Bianca, and even that had played out painfully in the tabloids for the entire world to see how incapable he was of being committed. There’d even been a pregnancy as proof that it wasn’t all hearsay that he’d cheated on Bianca before she cheated on him with his own trainer and friend. Sadly, Ella had to side with Grayson on this one.
Felix turned to her apologetically as he finished up with the trainer and his trainee. That’s when she remembered.
Grayson. Shit!
Last night he mentioned dropping in on her at the gym today as he often did when he was patrolling alone. Usually, he’d text her to let her know he was outside and she’d come out and talk to him for a little bit. She slowed, glancing around as they nearly reached the front door.
“Did you forget something?” Felix asked.
“No, I was just wondering if maybe there was somewhere else we could talk.”
“I promise I’ll be better about not letting anyone else interrupt,” he said quickly. “But outside is probably better. We can sit in my car if you want.”
Great. As if Grayson wouldn’t spot the Bentley a mile away. Unable to come up with any reason why outside, in the privacy of his car, wasn’t better than in the gym where they’d be continually interrupted, she continued walking alongside him and prayed Grayson wasn’t already out there.
They walked to a car parked in the same spot he’d parked his Bentley the last time. Only this time it was a much less assuming BMW. She’d seen other cars parked in the spot all week, but she just assumed they belonged to someone else. He opened the door for her and she got in. The car may not be a Bentley, but it was nearly as fancy with every bell and whistle you could think of. It dawned on her that since he’d mentioned his main home was still in Los Angeles he might drive a different one of these fancy cars every day. Meanwhile, her dad had reminded her that one of her tires was low—again. Yep. Different galaxies.
At least they now had a chance of not being spotted by Grayson if he drove by. Grayson may not even give the BMW a second glance if he was looking out for a Bentley. Felix got in just as her heart had started thudding again. She chided herself for wasting the time it took him to come around to the driver’s side by admiring his car instead of getting a quick word in with her mom.
Already just having walked alongside him, she’d been treated to the incredible scent of his cologne. Now in such a confined space, it was utterly intoxicating. Unlike his cars, he wore the same cologne every day, and she’d since decided she loved it. It wasn’t overpowering; it was subtle—but it was so him. She still hadn’t been able to pinpoint what kind it was. Knowing Felix, it was probably one of the most expensive ones. She and Carmen had decided the next time they were at the mall they’d go through all the latest brands and try to guess which was his.
He stared at her for a moment after closing his door. The intensity in his eyes together with the twinkle that followed his smile that could melt an iceberg only made her decision to be strong about this that much harder. How did any woman stand a chance of denying this man whatever he asked for?
Reminding herself to breathe, she inhaled slowly and, as calmly as she could, waited for him to say something.
“I know you have to be back in there soon, so I’ll keep this simple,” he began, and she cursed the drumming in her ear because it was so loud it nearly drowned out his words. “I don’t want to make things awkward or anything, but I was hoping that maybe you and I—” She flinched so hard when her phone vibrated in her pocket that Felix stopped midsentence, his eyes going a bit wide. “Something wrong?”
Her face was already on fire as she reached in her pocket for her phone and shook her head. “I forgot it was in my pocket, and it startled me when it buzzed,” she said, pulling it out and showing him.
“Is that a call you need to take?”
She glanced down and saw she had a text from Grayson. “No,” she said, clicking on the little envelope icon. “Just a text.”
She read it quickly, hoping it was him saying he wouldn’t be making it after all.
I’m outside. Can you take a break anytime soon?
She didn’t want to cut her conversation with Felix short. In spite of the fact that she knew she couldn’t agree to get into anything with him she knew would only end in heartbreak, she did want to be clear about one thing. She wasn’t worried about him thinking that she wasn’t physically attracted to him because, Jesus, he had to know there was no possibility of that. But she wanted him to know it wasn’t personal. He’d been nothing but a gentleman to her thus far, but as much as she’d like to give into the fantasy and allow her body to enjoy even one night in his arms, she just couldn’t. This was all about her fear of getting hurt and had nothing to do with her judging his lifestyle. She just needed to get rid of Grayson so she could talk freely.
For once, luck was on her side. Because her dad had told her he didn’t think it a good idea for her to drive with her tire so low, she’d hitched a ride that morning with Carmen. If Grayson looked for her car in the parking lot, he wouldn’t find it.
I’m not at the gym anymore. I had to leave early.
She slipped her phone back in her pocket the moment she hit send and glanced back up at Felix’s inquiring eyes. “Sorry, that was my boss from Starbucks.”
Felix nodded then took a deep breath. “I was just saying that I was hoping maybe you and I can have dinner sometime or catch a show. You . . .” He paused then smiled again. That smile was definitely going to do her in. Her heart was swelling by the moment, and it was already begging her to just hear him out. “You do something to me that”—he shook his head—“I can’t even begin to explain.”
As hard as she was trying, she couldn’t help smiling, and his eyes going directly to her lips as they did so often only made her insides go crazier. The buzzing of her phone in her pocket didn’t even matter now.
“Felix,” she started, even as her heart begged her not to. “That’s very sweet, and I think I know what you mean about not being able to explain the feeling . . . but you and I . . . I can’t.” She shook her head, reminding herself to be strong. “I just can’t. I mean I couldn’t . . .”
The continuous vibrating in her pocket was distracting her. Frustrated, she stopped to pull the phone out of her pocket so she could set it to silent instead. She set it to silent after seeing she had several texts from Grayson. Without opening any, she saw the beginning of the first one.
Why are you lying??
Just as she began to slip it back into her pocket, she remembered Grayson had said that he had no respect for Felix, that Felix was nothing but an obnoxious spoiled idiot squandering all his money on booze, drugs, and women, that a guy like Felix had no respect for women, and if he ever tried to take advantage of Ella, boxing champ or not, Grayson would have no qualms about getting in his face and telling him off.
She pulled the phone out of her pocket, suddenly panicked, and looked around. She clicked quickly on the three texts from Grayson and read them in order.
Why are you lying??
I know that’s his BMW. I ran the plates before I even texted you. Is that you sitting in the car with him? What are you doing!
Answer me, Ella, unless you want me to come over there. You know I will.
With her heart at her throat, suddenly she jerked her head around just in time to see the squad car pull up behind Felix’s car, blocking them in. Felix turned too. Grayson had actually turned on the lights on his squad car as if he were pulling someone over or making an arrest.
“Is that—?”
Ella opened her door and jumped out of Felix’s car before Felix could finish. Grayson was still in the squad car, talking into the two-way radio when she rushed to the passenger window. “What are you doing?” she demanded.
Felix was out of his car now too. “What’s going on?”
“I told you what I’d do, Ella.” Grayson said, glaring at Felix.
“Is there a problem?” Felix asked, his expression going as hard as Grayson’s, and took a few steps closer to the squad car.
“Don’t you dare,” Ella said, her eyes pleading with Grayson.
Grayson said something else into the two-way radio, asking someone to stand by in case he needed backup. They began to turn heads from a few people in the parking lot. Ella looked around meeting Felix’s questioning eyes, but how could she possibly explain without things getting ugly? Grayson was being ridiculous, and all she could think of was how mortified she’d be if he did anything stupid like bait Felix into an argument or even a fight just so he could arrest him.
“Get in the car,” Grayson said, motioning to the front seat of the squad car.
Ella turned to Felix, whose eyebrows pinched now, as her mind raced to think of how best to handle this. She could try running back into the gym, but she knew Grayson wouldn’t just leave, and she wasn’t about to leave him out here with Felix whose arched brows already indicated he was getting pissed.
Grayson opened the driver’s side door, prompting Ella to open the passenger side. “Stay in the car,” she said to Grayson as she slid into the passenger seat. “I have to go” was all she said in Felix’s general direction but couldn’t even bring herself to look him in the eyes.
She hadn’t even closed her door all the way when the car zoomed off. “What is your problem?” she demanded, suddenly feeling enraged. “How dare you just show up and do something like that!”
“Didn’t I tell you what I thought of him? What he’d be trying with you? Did he take you out to his car for a quickie?”
“I don’t care what you think of him. What I do with him or anyone is none of your business!”
He skidded into a gas station, ironically, the same one where he’d run into her and Felix the night they were putting air in her tires. “So is that it?” he asked, banging on the steering wheel. “Does this mean you’re gonna fuck him? Or have you already?”
“Take me back now or I’ll get out and walk.”
“Answer the question!” Ella opened the door and started to get out. “Get back in here!” he yelled as she slammed the door shut.
She’d never been so humiliated in her life. This was exactly why she’d broken up with Grayson and a perfect reminder that no matter how much he claimed he’d changed, he hadn’t. At all. At least now she could finally stop wondering if breaking things off with him had been a mistake. For a long time, she’d wondered if maybe she’d been unfair or too hasty in her decision to break up with him. It was why she still let him come around. Her feelings for Grayson had run pretty deep at one point, and she’d been afraid she’d regret it—miss him. As much as she still cared for the guy, even with his faults—she wouldn’t deny that she did—she knew now she’d made the right decision. His temper just wasn’t worth it. She was so done with him.
The reality of what had just happened back at the gym slammed into her suddenly. She was only glad now that she hadn’t quit her job at Starbucks yet because she had no idea how she’d face Felix again.
Grayson followed her as she stalked through the gas station toward the corner where she could cross the street. “Get in, Ella. I’m sorry.” As usual, he sounded genuinely remorseful. Once the anger passed, he always was. She ignored him, continuing to walk, arms crossed tightly in front of her. “I’ll take you back. I promise. Please just get in.”
She stopped and let her head fall back. The thought of taking the walk of shame all the way back to 5th Street where Felix might still be waiting out front was a mortifying one. She’d sooner walk straight home instead, but she had classes pending still, and she’d told no one aside from Felix that she was leaving. Her one o’clock class was probably already waiting on her.
“I’m not talking to you about him,” she said without even looking at him.
“Fine.”
“I need to get back ASAP, Grayson. I have a class waiting on me.”
“I’ll take you straight there.”
Letting her shoulders slump in defeat, she got back in the car. “Drop me off at the back entrance.”
As promised, Grayson didn’t say another word the whole way back until they were almost at the back entrance. “I’m sorry I lost it, babe. I really am. You know I’m trying.”
Ella nodded but said nothing. He’d been sorry about losing it too many times. The words meant nothing anymore.
“Ella, just promise me one thing,” he said as he pulled the car over to drop her off. Ella refrained from rolling her eyes, reaching for the door handle. “Promise me”—he touched her arm—“that you won’t forget what we talked about.”
Ella stopped just before getting out of the car but didn’t turn to face him. How could she forget? It was all she could think of lately.
“Whatever he says or does for you, whatever he buys you, it’s nothing he hasn’t already done for someone else. I’m only saying this because I care about you and don’t wanna see you get hurt, but I know you, Ella. Without having been there, I can guarantee you your reaction to him wasn’t anything like what he’s used to from girls. It’s probably throwing him for a loop that you’re not falling all over yourself over him. For a guy like him, it’s probably a refreshing challenge. But make no mistake about it, babe. That’s all you are to him—a challenge. Once he’s nailed you, you’ll be just like all the others, yesterday’s news.”
She knew what he was saying made all the sense in the world. Her head had made this very argument with her heart each and every time she’d been caught up in one of Felix’s intense gazes or every time he smiled at her so genuinely. Even today when he’d put it out there for her, saying he couldn’t explain what she did to him, it had felt so sincere. No matter how hard she tried to remind herself of the very thing Grayson was saying—that giving into anything with Felix was a huge risk to her heart—she wasn’t sure she could fight the temptation. Despite everything that had just happened, her heart was still doing a little dance over Felix’s words just before she read Grayson’s texts.
Without saying a word, she got out and closed his door. Her heart ached suddenly at the thought of what Felix must be thinking of her but more so because she knew they’d eventually get back to that conversation he’d started. She’d have to do the right thing: gather all her strength to protect her heart.