EMMA's POV :
To say that dinner at my parent's house was awkward would be a gross understatement.
Ian and I reached the house at around dinnertime. Mom opened the door as we rang the bell, and though I hadn't seen her in months, she still acted cold and indifferent towards me. But underneath the cold exterior, I could tell that she was feeling hurt. She felt betrayed that I had been covering up things about Ian and me and she believed that she was protecting me by disapproving of my relationship with Ian.
Although I hated what she was doing, I understood where it came from. If this was my daughter, I might have done the same thing. I would do everything in my power to protect her and make sure she wasn't throwing her life away for the wrong choice.
But Ian's not the wrong choice. I just need to find a way to make her see that.
Dad wasn't acting any better either. He trusted Ian as a man and we failed that trust. He didn't say one word to Ian or me as we entered the house. It was heartbreaking to watch him like this. Ian and he had become so close the last time we were here, they hung out together and watched the ball games. Now he could barely look at Ian, let alone speak to him.
Now I was feeling silly for having such high hopes. I thought that my parents would be happy to see me, they would hug me and we would cry and everything would be better. But as the four of us sat at the dinner table, I was wishing the earth would swallow me whole instead. It was so dreadful. No one knew what to say or how to act with each other anymore.
As we were having dinner in silence, Ian kept throwing glances at me. He was shaking his head from side to side when I gave him the 'I think I'll tell them now' look. He thought it wasn't a good time, but I was getting impatient. I couldn't wait any longer.
"Mom, dad, we have something we wanna tell you," I said cautiously, breaking the thick silence. Dad didn't even lift his face, and mom only stared at me with a stoic look on her face.
Ian gave me an 'are you sure you wanna do this now' look and I just nodded reassuringly.
"First of all, mom, dad, I'm sorry for how I acted at the wedding. I shouldn't have run off like that... but... it was so hard to talk to you... and I'm sorry you two had to find out that way... I should've been honest from the start, but I knew you guys would disapprove-"
"Damn right, we would," dad hissed under his breath. He still had his gaze down, unbothered to look at his own daughter.
"Why?" I croaked. "Why can't you just accept that we love each other-"
"That's not love," mom cut me off with an intimidating look. "You're being manipulated by this man and you don't even know it,"
"He's not manipulating me. How many times do I have to tell you before you can see it? I love him and he loves me!" I was breathless and emotional, panting a little and trying my best not to raise my voice. "You can stop us from getting married, but you're not gonna stop us from being together-"
"Yeah? Try being together with him in jail!" mom threatened viciously.
"You wouldn't!"
"We've been talking to some lawyers. They think we might have enough to build a case-"
"Based on what?!" I raised my voice involuntarily.
"Based on the fact that this man was your high school teacher and he took advantage of you!" she raised hers too.
"No! You are not sending my husband to jail-"
"He's not your husband-"
"No, but he's the father of my child!"
The words just escaped my mouth, I had no control. That wasn't how I wanted to break the news, but it was already done. I couldn't take it back. Ian looked at me in horror and dad finally looked up to see my face.
"What?" mom gaped at me.
There was no going back now. Taking a deep breath, I stood up from my seat and took Ian's hand in mine. He stood up too, following after me. With a shaky voice, I stared at my parents and said, "We're fourteen weeks pregnant. We're gonna have a baby together. Ian's the father of my child, so you're not sending him to jail,"
Mom's jaw was on the floor and dad looked as if he had been struck by lighting.
"You... You got pregnant?" mom asked with a horrified look on her face.
Ian and I shared a look before I turned to her and nodded, "Yes,"
Mom stood up from her seat abruptly. She stomped towards Ian and stood right in front of him, staring menacingly at his face. Pointing a finger up to him, she demanded, "You got my daughter pregnant?"
"Joanna, I-"
* SMACK! *
Ian barely got a sentence out and mom had slapped him across the face. The room fell silent as the sound of her hand hitting his skin stung in the air.
"How dare you? You're a disgrace! You're deplorable!" she croaked, tears were pooling in her eyes. Dad didn't even stand up or say anything. He sat still on his seat, looking dejected with both hands covering his face.
"Mom! What are you doing?" I stepped in between her and Ian. I saw Ian's skin was starting to bruise and it broke my heart.
"You're supposed to be leaving this guy and instead you got pregnant?!" she screamed at me.
"I can't believe you just said that to me," I shook my head in disbelief. I didn't even have the energy to shout anymore. I was too heartbroken. I turned my attention to Ian and reached up to touch his face. He flinched a little, but he said nothing.
"You know what? If this is what family is, I don't need this anymore," I spat at her and grabbed Ian by the hand. "Let's go, let's get out of here,"
"Emma! You're not going anywhere with this man!" mom reached for my hand and stopped my tracks.
I slapped her hand away briskly and scoffed, "I'm twenty four years old. You can't tell me who I can and cannot love. Ian and I are having a baby in five months. If you're too angry and too proud to be a part of that, then I'm sorry for you, but it's your loss,"
I gave her one last glare before pulling Ian towards the door. If she called out after me, I didn't hear anything. I grabbed our stuff, pushed the door open, walked out, and slammed it shut. And we never looked back.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Are you okay?" Ian asked me as I was having trouble breathing. "You wanna sit down for a second?" he motioned towards a park bench, but I just shook my head at him.
"No, I'm okay," I stood on my spot and focused on my breathing.
I was so angry and upset, I went walking out of the house and I just kept walking until we reached the end of the road. I wanted to be as far away from that house as possible, so I kept walking until we reached the park. We were fast walking for about fifteen minutes before I started to feel dizzy and lightheaded, and I had to stop.
Ian searched my face in worry and cupped my cheek. He was concerned about me than anything else. "This was a bad idea. We shouldn't be doing this now. I shouldn't be putting you under this stress," he sighed.
"No, it's not your fault. We don't know they were gonna react like that," I said to him. My breathing was finally calm and I was feeling much better. Reaching my hand up to his face, I caressed his bruised cheek gently and asked, "Are you okay?"
"It's fine," he shrugged.
But still, it didn't look fine to me.
Standing on my tippy toes, I planted a soft kiss on his cheek and asked, "Is that better?"
"Maybe a little bit more," he said as he leaned down and captured my lips with his. His kiss was delicate and tender, but still full of passion. "Yeah, that's better," he smiled as he pulled away.
He's so sweet. How can anyone see us and not believe that we're in love?
"I love you," I whispered into his ear.
"I love you too," he whispered back. Then he leaned down and kissed the top of my stomach and said, "And I love you,"
Oh, I felt another warm tingle in my stomach.
"Why are you smiling like that?" he asked me when he saw the grin on my face.
"It's funny, isn't it? Being able to do this here, saying things like 'I love you' out in public, in this town... I mean, what if someone sees us?" I giggled.
"Then they see us," he shrugged nonchalantly. "Big deal,"
Right on cue, as if the universe was trying to play a trick on us, we saw Ms. Diaz walking hand in hand with Mr. Pullman. They were my teachers back in high school, and Ian's co-workers. They didn't see us as they were looking in another direction, but if they turned their heads even just a little bit, they'd see us definitely.
The smile on our faces faltered slightly. We said that we didn't care if anyone sees us, but now that we were on the spot, we couldn't help but feel... awkward.
"You wanna get outta here?" he asked.
"Yes, please,"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ian and I stayed at a hotel that night. We booked the earliest flight we could get tomorrow morning as I couldn't wait to get out of this hellhole. Maybe it was my hormones or whatever, but I just felt so mad and upset. This trip to Georgia was a total mess, and my parents were a huge letdown.
I don't wanna be in this negative place, surrounded by this negative energy. It's not good for the baby...
Ian and I were lying in bed, trying our best to catch some sleep. He was spooning me and wrapping his arms around my body. We stayed like that in silence for the longest time, and I thought he had fallen asleep, until he suddenly murmured something in my ear.
"I'm sorry..."
I turned my face slightly to him and gave him a questioning look.
"Why are you sorry?"
"If we had waited until you were out of high school, maybe things wouldn't be like this," he sighed in defeat.
"Don't say that," I hissed. "I don't regret anything that's happened between us. That's our story and that's how it's supposed to be. I'm proud of that,"
Ian smiled a sad smile, as if he didn't believe what I was saying. That was the truth, though. Sure, our story was messy and far from perfect, but it didn't make it any less beautiful. Given the chance, I'd do the same thing all over again. In a heartbeat.
"How dare you? You're a disgrace! You're deplorable!"
Suddenly, my mom's words from earlier crossed my mind again. I remembered the look of disdain in her eyes as she glared at Ian. My mom, like many other people that didn't know our story, would think that we were a mistake or that we should be ashamed of ourselves. But our story was not a disgrace and I won't be ashamed of it.
So why did you run when people might see you? Maybe deep down, you also think that this relationship is deplorable?
I hated myself for thinking those thoughts, but a part of me knew that my brain was right. Deep down, I always knew that what we did was wrong. We tried our best to cover it up and fight it, but in the end, we ended up back where we started. We had come so far, and yet, not really. We still ended up having to kiss here in this hotel room, in secret. We ended up right where we started, hidden.
How long do we have to stay hidden? How much longer?
"Baby, are you crying?" Ian searched my face as he noticed I was holding back my sobs.
I just shook my head but the tears that fell betrayed me.
"Please don't cry. Please," he begged.
"I just... I just... I hate it so much. Why are they being so difficult? Why won't they just accept us? Why won't they love our baby? This is their grandbaby after all..."
I feel bad for you baby. You don't deserve to be hidden. They should love you, but they don't. And it's not your fault.
Ian pulled me tighter into his arms and showered my head with kisses. "I know it sucks, but it's gonna be okay, baby girl," he said with a kiss, "We'll get through this together," and another kiss, "We're gonna love this baby so much, it's never gonna need any other love," and another long kiss.
I know we will love this baby to death. I know we will. But will that be enough?
I wanted to stop crying, but for some reason I couldn't. So, I just flushed my face into his chest and continued sobbing.
Ian let out a deep sigh and leaned his head against mine. "Baby girl, I hate seeing you cry. Please tell me what you need, what can I do?"
I need the world to accept us. I need the world to be okay with us.
But I knew I couldn't ask that. It wasn't something he could do in his power. So instead, I forced out a smile and said, "I just need you,"
Because it's true. I need him more than I need anything else.
"You have me," he hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head. "I'm right here,"
And finally, I stopped crying. Because now I decided, be it hidden or be it in secret, having him and having our baby would always be enough for me.
Always.
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- - - - - To Be Continued - - - - -