Lea's POV
It was as if my life had become one hiatus after another.
I was finally able to make up my mind.
I left Jake. I finally broke up with him.
I left him with a note. Just a note and then I disappeared from the hospital.
It was a great thing that Rosa had come to visit the day before I made my final decision. Her words were cruel but crucial. I needed someone to tell that loud and clear for me to make my move.
It was for the best.
It was for Jake's sake that I broke up with him, over a note.
Phill had helped me with that job like he promised but unlike I promised him, I couldn't live in the same city where Jake was.
This time I was going to disappear as in, vanish from existence. I didn't even get back to our aunt.
I just told her that I was going to go away somewhere for a job and that I was not going back home. I changed my number.
I blocked everyone I knew.
If Jake was not going to be a part of it, the life that I previously knew, the Lea that I was... was better off dead.
Surprisingly, Phill didn't leave me alone.
He did everything he could in comfortably relocating me to another town. I could work from home and everything was within ten minutes drive from where I was.
But that was not all. He transferred to the nearest hospital for ' better exposure and work experience. '
Or at least that was what I was told.
He would come everyday after his eighteen hour shifts. I would make tea and cookies for him which he would devour hungrily. Then he would doze off on the chair because as expected, he would be exhausted.
I would make him comfortable by sliding a neck pillow under his head and putting a blanket over his leg.
Then he would wake up with a start and look at the clock before its hands struck midnight. He would attempt to run to his own apartment because it was 'too late and he didn't notice. ' But I would insist that he had dinner before he left because I knew he would have no food at home, like usual.
It would take a little nagging at my end to convince him but in the end he would gladly give in. And it was a relief for me, to be honest.
It was difficult to eat without anyone. I was glad Phill was there.
He could fill that void which was inside me but he sure brought some relief.
After having dinner, we would stroll in the corridor before he would finally leave and I would reluctantly shut the door and let the darkness envelope me from everywhere.
I would close my eyes and then he would come sliding back in my dreams. My Jake.
He would caress my lips and whisper in my ears how much he loved me and missed me and then he would lovingly place his hand on my baby bump.
And instantly I would feel a movement in my stomach and sit up.
I would sit up and hug myself because I would realize that it was all just another nightmare.
Jake was out of our lives.
He wasn't coming back and it was probably for the best.
But my stupid heart would force me to reach for my phone and scroll through all the news and articles about Jake.
I would meticulously go through all the news, devouring all the updates, watch him with all the women, look how fine he looked amongst them and then pat myself on my back as I cried myself to sleep.
" You did the best thing, Lea. Not telling him about the baby was the best thing. It would end his career. And what Rosa said, was definitely true. It's for the best.
You have a part of him to carry on.
Now all you need to do is take care of the baby and watch him shine from afar and soak in the glory that radiated from him. ”
Then I would zoom in on his picture and kiss him. I would kiss till the screen would fall on my lips and leave me with a bruise.
It wouldn't matter because the bruise in my soul was deeper than any wound.
I would lick my lips and feel the coppery taste of the blood. And it would immediately take me back to when he would kiss me so passionately that he would make my lips bleed.
He would be so concerned and immediately apologize to me but I would pull him back and slam my lips over him and that same coppery taste would mix with the essence of his taste.
I would cry some more hugging the pillow till the silverline in the horizon beyond my window would tell me that another night had passed and the new day was here.
Exhaustion, physical, mental, emotional would over take me and only then would sleep descend over my tired eyes and I would finally doze off to sleep.
This has been the routine that I have been voluntarily or involuntarily been following, religiously everyday.
I would wake up feeling sore all over my body and fighting the urge to puke, first thing in the morning.
No matter what I did, that nausea wouldn't go.
And it didn't help my appetite.
I would wash and tidy up before getting back to work because as long as we were living, we had bills to pay and needed money for that.
But that day was going to be different.
I had to drive to town for a special assignment.
And before I forget, let me chip in, yes, I had finally learnt to drive and it was Phill who had taught me the art after much sulking.
If I was going to be an independent woman, I had better acquired skills to move around on my own.