Damien drove round and round the city. His mind was in chaos. He was not thinking straight.
How could Violet had hidden such a thing from him? She could have told him and he would have understood. Even when the evidence was before her eyes, she was still denying it. Had he made a mistake in thinking that she was different from other women?
Was she in fact as bad as Carole? Carole who had left him to marry his brother?
Had Violet destroyed someone's relationship just for the fun of it? Then where was the man now? Would the man come to make problems for the both of them later?
What if they had hot married and Violet had continued seeing the guy secretly? What was his name again? Ray.. Raymond.
Was he destined then not to fall in love with the right sort?
Every one had a past.It just might be Violet's and he would have understood if only she had come to him, afterall, he had understood about the rape attempt and had not blamed her for it but right now he was beginning to think that she might have encouraged the young man or teased him beyond his limit. He shook his head angrily.
Then he drove to his secret place. He needed peace and quiet. He did not wish to be disturbed and neither did he want his contemplation to be disturbed by the noise of the traffic.
He went there, to his secret place and as he watched the water flow from the rocked wall, he became calmer.
How could I have thought that Violet had spurred the boy who wanted to rape her on? She isn't that kind of person. What was I thinking? I have allowed the anger of her actions today cloud my mind, he thought.
But she could have confided in him. He had not believed it at first and would have had Sandra arrested for false accusation but for that picture.
Violet had seen the picture of the man and denied, but could she also deny the one she took with the guy in question?
But had I waited to hear what she had to say? There must have been an explanation for it. Okay, what if Sandra had been spinning, maybe not lies but half truths? She could have tried to take the man from Violet and the result had been that the both of them lost the guy. But that did not excuse the fact that Violet had not told him about it.
Okay, maybe she had not thought it necessary, but he had taken her I to his office first, so that she could tell him everything, but she had not used that opportunity to confide in him. if she had, he wouldn't have called Sandra in or if he had, it would have been to smooth things over between them.
'I could at least have exercised more self control, apologized to Sandra on Violet's behalf before walking out the door', he berated himself.
It was just that it all came crashing in on him, clouding his mind, all the pain and betrayal he had felt when his brother took Carole from him. He had felt like he was reliving it.
'Learn to trust more. Not everyone is going to betray you like your brother and Carole did', he told himself, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs that seemed to be stuck there.
He would go and speak to Violet. This was childish. So she was in a relationship before him but what difference did it make if I loves her? And he did - very much and that was why it hurt him that such an important part of her life should have been kept from him.
Suddenly, he gave a start as a thought occured to him. But if she had had a past with any man, surely she would not have remained a virgin? And she had met her a virgin
He had deflowered her. She had given him her most precious possession. Not that he would have loved her any less if she had not been a virgin but it had served to enhance his faith in her and in the fact that he had made the right choice.
What a faith! He mocked himself. Had he had any faith in Violet or in their love, would he had doubted her to begin with? And why could he have forgotten the best night of his life and the fact that it had been completely obvious even to a child that Violet had known no man before him? 'Foolish! Damnation!' he cursed.
He became hurried. He had to speak to Violet immediately. There must be another explanation for this. He did not wait to consider what other possible explanation there was. There was something lurking in his mind, what Violet had told him in the past but he did not have the patience to try and recall it.
As he drove like a raving lunatic to the house of Jeremy and his daughter, he looked at his watch and found that it was gone past ten pm. He knew it was late to go knocking on her door but he could not delay seeing her even for a few hours.
He got to their house and knocked on the door but there was no response. He knocked harder u til Jeremy came to the door and told him to go home because his daughter did not wish to see him.
'I realise I have wronged her by doubting her. I believed the evidence of my eyes over her words. I need to see her. It can't wait', Damien pleaded.
'I'm sorry', Jeremy said firmly. 'But she made me promise before going to bed not to let you in, should you come. She has really had a bad day, crying all day and now is asleep and I do not want her rest disturbed.
'You will see her at work tomorrow and then you will have all the time to resolve your differences', he concluded.
Damien looked at him and knew that it was no use arguing with him and sat on the staircase, holding his head in his hands but soon stood and walked purposefully away.
Jeremy who had shut the door when he sat on the staircase, had gone to the window, watching him sympathetically and saw him walk away, praying that all would turn out well for his daughter and this good man.