POV Kiara
Aleron's voice in my head makes me feel things I don't want to feel. His mental touch is calm and steady, which should make me angry. But part of me finds it comforting, and that makes everything worse.
I hate him. I hate him for what he did to my father. I hate him for the betrayal that destroyed our family.
But despite everything I knew about him, despite my father's blood on his hands and the destruction he'd brought to my pack, the soulmate connection stirred memories I'd tried to forget.
I remember the person I'd trusted completely before he'd shattered my world.
The boy who used to climb trees with me behind our house. The boy who taught me how to track rabbits through the forest. The boy who used to steal cookies from the kitchen and share them with me while we hid in the barn.
That boy is gone. He became a monster who chose vampires over the family that raised him.
So why does his voice make me feel less alone right now?
"Why are you in my head?" I screamed, both aloud and through our cursed mental link, my voice cracking with desperation that echoed through the destroyed forest. "What's happening to me? I want this to stop!"
My hands clutched at my skull as if I could physically tear his voice out of my consciousness. But the sensation of his thoughts intertwined with mine made me feel invaded, exposed, violated in ways I couldn't articulate.
Like he's seeing parts of me I never wanted anyone to see.
"Get out! Get out! GET OUT!" I shout until my throat hurts.
More trees crack around me. A huge oak that's probably been standing for a hundred years splits down the middle and crashes to the ground. Rocks explode into pieces. The earth keeps breaking apart under my feet.
Aleron's responses remained maddeningly calm, patient despite my mental screaming.
"The vampire blood in your veins is awakening fully, but your werewolf side is rejecting it," Aleron's voice says calmly through our connection. His mental tone doesn't change despite my screaming. "This internal war will tear you apart if you don't find balance."
"I don't want balance!" I scream back at him. "I want you out of my head! I want this connection gone! Leave me alone!"
"I can't do that," he responds. "And you know I won't abandon you now."
His steady presence in my mind doesn't waver. He stays there like an anchor while everything else in my world falls apart.
"You are strong, Kiara," his voice continues with complete certainty. "Accept your vampire half and the pain will ease. Stop fighting what you are."
"I don't want to be partly a vampire!" I run from one side of the clearing to the other, knocking down more trees without meaning to. "I want to be normal! I want to be like everyone else in my pack!"
But even as I say it, I know normal is impossible now. Marcus told me the truth. The vampire blood has been inside me my whole life. It was just sleeping until Aleron woke it up.
"Fighting won't change what you are," Aleron says. "It will only make the transformation more painful. Breathe with me."
"No."
"Breathe with me, Kiara."
"I said no!"
"In through your nose. Hold for three counts. Out through your mouth."
Despite everything, I find myself following his breathing pattern. His mental voice guides me through each breath.
In. Hold. Out.
In. Hold. Out.
My heart rate starts to slow down. The power surging through my body begins to settle. The pain in my bones eases slightly.
"Better," Aleron says. His mental presence feels less invasive now. More like protection than invasion. "Keep breathing. Let your vampire side exist alongside your werewolf side instead of fighting it."
I don't want to admit that his guidance is helping. I don't want to need anything from him. But the breathing exercises work. The chaos inside me calms down enough for me to think clearly.
"I can feel your confusion," Aleron continues. "Your fear about what this means for your pack. Your worry about Thomen. But you're not becoming less werewolf, Kiara. You're becoming more than what you ever were."
The energy finally drains out of me completely. My legs give out and I collapse to the forest floor. Broken tree pieces and scattered rocks surround me. I did all this damage.
That's when I see him step out of the shadows between the remaining trees. Aleron moves toward me carefully, like he's approaching a wounded animal that might bolt.
His dark hair catches moonlight filtering through the canopy above us. His pale skin seems to glow in the darkness. He looks exactly like I remember from childhood, except his eyes hold years of knowledge now.
He kneels down beside me where I sit in the dirt and debris. His hand reaches out slowly and takes my chin, lifting my face so I have to look directly at him.
"You are a beautiful disaster," he says quietly. His voice carries both want and concern. "Even like this. Even angry and afraid and covered in dirt."
Looking into his eyes, I see patience, maybe even regret. I see genuine care for what happens to me.
Instead of hurting me, his arms came around my form. His hand stroked down my back, and the touch sent electricity through my entire body. All the fight goes out of me at once.
I could feel the bond between us pulsing like a living thing, drawing me to him despite every instinct screaming danger.
"It hurts too much," I whispered, the sound coming out as a low whine.
"I know," he said, his arms tightening around me. "But running won't make it stop. Trust me."
Against every rational thought, I found myself relaxing into his embrace. The warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, the way his fingers threaded through me… it all combined to create a sense of safety I hadn't felt from him in years.
"There," he murmured, his lips against my hair. "Much better."
"I hate you," I whispered, but the words lacked conviction.
His scent surrounded me, dangerous and intoxicating, and I could feel his heartbeat against my cheek.
"I know," he said simply, his hand tracing patterns on my shoulder that made me shiver. "But you need me. Your body is changing, awakening to its true nature, and fighting it will only make it worse."
"The pain—"
"Will ease when you stop resisting." His fingers tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his pale green eyes. "Let me help you, Kiara. Let me teach you how to balance both sides of yourself."
The intimacy of the moment made my breath catch. This was dangerous territory, accepting comfort from the enemy who'd destroyed my family.
But I was so tired of fighting, so tired of the pain consuming me from the inside out.
"Help me…" I whisper.
The words feel like giving up and giving in at the same time. I'm asking my enemy to guide me through becoming something I never wanted to be. I'm betraying everything I've believed about good and evil, about us and them.
But I can't do this alone. The changes are too strong, too painful, too overwhelming.
Aleron's eyes soften when he hears my request. "I will. I promise."
That's when I feel it. Thomen's consciousness reaches for mine through our werewolf mate bond. His mental voice is full of worry and confusion.
"Kiara? What's wrong? Your emotions are spiking again through our connection. Where are you? I'm coming!"
Panic shoots through me. Thomen can't find me here with Aleron. He can't see the destroyed forest or know that I asked our enemy for help.
But it might already be too late to hide what I've become.