Chapter Six
The Christmas music ended, the sound of Mandy’s door shutting echoed down the hall, then quiet filled the room. Penny glanced at Jake, who pivoted to stare at the tree.
Following his lead, she admired the tree. “I’m not particularly sleepy.”
“A little early for me to turn in.” He touched one of the ornaments. “Tree looks good.”
She stooped, shoved some tissue into one of the boxes, and stacked them. “I’ll stick these out in the storage room.”
“Can I help?”
“And get a chill? That’s okay, you wimp. Stay in here.”
“Sticks and stones.” He followed her into the kitchen. “How about I put on the tea kettle?”
Pausing at the laundry room doorway, she nodded her approval. “Good idea.” Once inside the storage room, the chill cooled her heated skin. What a great evening so far. And now, alone with Jake.
Penny set the boxes on the floor so she could grab the step stool. When she straightened, she bumped into him.
“I knew you needed help.”
“You’re supposed to be making tea.”
“I’ll just put these up first.” He brushed against her, lifted the boxes, and set them on the high shelf.
A mini-step brought her so close behind him that when he turned they had full body contact. She shivered. Or did he? His lips parted. She rose on tiptoe, but before she could wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him, he took hold of her shoulders.
He turned her around, put a knee into her thigh, and moved her forward. “The wimp is getting cold. Let’s go have tea.”
Her attempt at something more than friendship thwarted, heat spread around her neck, and she swallowed down embarrassment. She’d misread the something she’d seen earlier.
Jake led her to a seat at the table. “Sit. I’ll do the honors.” He ambled to the stove and lifted the teakettle.
The last thing she wanted was to have tea with her buddy Jake. “I’m not really in the mood for tea. Maybe I’ll go read.” Irritation tinged her words, but it couldn’t be helped. Disappointment came out that way with all the mixed signals she’d received.
“Oh come on.” He shut off the water and turned on a burner, clunking the kettle down. “Don’t make me drink alone.”
She couldn’t look him in the face, didn’t want to be his plutonic friend, and, with the emotions surging through her, the best move would be to get away from him right now.
Over his shoulder, and outside the kitchen window, snowflakes glittered through the patio light. “It’s snowing.”
He followed her gaze. “So it is.”
Grabbing her old, black sweater from the hook by the back door, she shrugged into it and opened the door. “I’m going to watch for a while.”
“Really?”
The puzzled look on his face forced a mirthless chuckle. “Really.” At least she could chill out without his disrupting presence. How the hell she could hold off her feelings around him—for who knew how long—had to be figured out. Now, not later.
Penny shut the door behind her. Standing on the edge of the patio, she watched the flakes drift down, melting as they hit the patches of exposed grass from the afternoon melt. She pulled the treasured old sweater higher around her neck and dipped her chin into the warmth. The first time she’d worn the sweater was a December thirteen years ago. A young waitress named Mandy Winters befriended her. Penny had wandered into The Depot hungry, distraught, and not really dressed for Flagstaff weather. Mandy had come to her rescue with a sweater and friendship.
Friendship.
Mandy was her friend, but that wasn’t the relationship she wanted with her friend’s brother.
She’d misread him. Embarrassing and disappointing.
Could she embrace him like a friend? Tonight had felt so right. Enjoying a Christmas tradition with Mandy, her adopted sister, was fun. With Jake there, however he viewed her, she experienced a different kind of happy…safe. Yes, that’s the bottom line. All her father’s warnings, all her years of hiding and being someone else—could she put that behind her?
How she longed to escape the face and the faceless that chased her through her nightmares, both awake and sleeping. The FBI agent and the Westingly CEO turned senator hadn’t found her. After all this time they couldn’t possibly still be hunting her. As a contender for the presidency, Westingly had successfully remolded his career. She’d been quiet and hidden for so many years, he’d probably forgotten all about her. Jake and Mandy gave her the confidence, the desire to have a real life. Maybe she should contact what little family she had before Christmas…
“I guess it’s time I learned to appreciate snow.”
Surprised by Jake’s appearance on the patio, she hunched deeper into her sweater.
“Unless I’m disturbing you.”
You’re disturbing me all right.
“The world’s beautiful when the snow is falling like this. Quiet and peaceful. Really calming.”
Calming, unless Jake Winters is standing next to you. “Yeah.”
“Yeah? That’s all you have to say?” When she didn’t respond, he continued, his voice deep and whispery. “I thought we had a good time tonight. Are we going back to—is there something I’ve done or said or…”
Not done or said. He couldn’t be so clueless.
“Penny, I really want—”
“I know. To. Be. Friends.” She wouldn’t live in her own house, walking on eggshells and never be sure what a glance or a touch meant. With a half-turn, she faced him. “You make being friends difficult.”
He frowned. His mouth turned down as if hurt.
“So, let’s just be honest. What I feel, what happens to me when I’m around you or think of you is anything but plain old friends. Maybe it’s my fault, but I keep getting mixed signals from you. Your words say one thing and your eyes another.” She swallowed, already sorry for blurting out her feelings. “If you’re not interested, then stop with the touching and, and…”
His brow furrowed, and his shoulders hunched as if tense. Silent, he wouldn’t give her anything.
“Okay. It’s just me. I’ll try for casual, but now that I’ve opened my mouth, you’ll know every time you look at me how I really feel. Oh hell. So be it.” She whirled around, anxious to be away from his smoky gaze, and yanked opened the door to the house. “I think I liked it better when I hated you.”
****
Jake avoided a patch of icy snow as he stepped out onto the grass, looking up to let the snow fall onto his face. But when the flakes instantly turned to cold drops of water, he retreated back under the patio cover.
Now what?
He couldn’t get it right with this woman.
Why the conundrum? She’d sensed he felt the same way she did. Why hold back? That cautionary inner voice kept saying, No, no, no. They didn’t know each other well enough. Never stopped him before. That was the trouble. Reformed Jake didn’t operate under that set of rules…or lack of rules. But if she felt the same way…the argument with himself raged on.
Another argument sprang from an entirely different set of issues. At times, solid on his feet, his weakness for escape remained behind him. Although the battle within had become more of a skirmish, peace still had to be won. There was that…and what did he have to offer to a relationship? His drifter status still intact, he didn’t know where he’d end up. He’d come a long way in the last year. Could he trust his instincts yet? The instincts that overrode the cautionary voice and said they’d be good together?
The negatives existed. Yet…having Penny on his side made the possibility of turning every facet of his life into positives.
The snow let up; the chill got deeper. He shivered. And wondered. Did the reformed Jake attract her, or was she still hot for the star on the stage?
Does it matter?
Yes, it did.
He stamped his feet and trudged back into the kitchen, turned the stove on again, and yanked two bags of lemon chamomile from the box. Standing close to absorb the heat from the stove and catch the kettle before it whistled, he shrugged out of his coat. He needed to get a job and get out of here. Seeing Penny on a daily basis made keeping a clear head nearly impossible. Then again, if she saw him every day, saw this Jake—anything but the star on the stage—they would get to know each other better…maybe. Or did her admission make that impossible?
Regardless, the application had to get dropped off at Babbitt’s early Monday morning. He needed to work.
The idea he’d had earlier about the Ashurst resurfaced. After shutting off the stove, he poured hot water over the teabags, and set the mug on the table. Then he strode to his room, grabbed the road atlas from his duffle bag, and returned to the kitchen. At the table, with the atlas opened to the double-paged map of the U.S., he surveyed northern Arizona. While sipping the tea, he followed a finger over I-40 from Flagstaff in either direction. The major highway going south connected to other arteries like the bloodlines of the body with lesser veins going north. Chris had spoken a truth. Flagstaff could nearly be the heart.
He closed the book and finished his tea. Contacting Chris could answer some questions. Get some more info on what bands they were booking. Where those bands headed after a stop here. What their plans for the Ashurst were.
Did he really want to have anything to do with the music business again? The answer, hidden so deep in his gut he almost didn’t notice, whispered, Yes. But the cautionary voice inside his head shouted, No.
That inner voice held him back all the way around.
The mug clinked against the sink when he set it down. In the hallway, on his way to bed, he paused a moment, but could hear nothing from Penny’s room. Light shone around the edge of her door. Shrugging off a vision of the dark haired beauty, he entered his room.
He draped his clothes over the back of the desk chair, climbed under the covers, and opened the Sanford paperback to the dog-eared page. With effort, he finally became engrossed in the story and avoided rehashing his attraction to Penny and the music industry. Hours later, he turned off the lamp and drifted off.
A noise woke him. His eyes popped open, and he blinked at the sunlight coming in the window. He punched his cell on the table next to the bed. Six thirty-five a.m. Probably Mandy leaving for work early. His lids drooped shut, and he rolled to his side. Penny’s face and the feel of her thighs brushing his came to mind, and a moan escaped with the advent of an early morning arousal. He pulled the pillow over his head. The chilly room helped, and he reached for another blanket at the foot of the bed.
Willing himself to empty his mind, ignore his body, and go back to sleep proved futile. Thoughts of the pixie of a woman flooded his senses. He didn’t want to be just a friend. He liked her a whole lot differently. Yet, she wasn’t just a nice ass and a quirky smile. Her sass made him laugh. Her painful past begged him to soothe her. Last night, when she joined in the decorating, they had fun and…were comfortable together. In Penny’s presence, he existed on an even keel not experienced in a long time.
He couldn’t leave the house to avoid her all day long. Bugger that. Didn’t want to. He wanted to put his mouth on her upturned upper lip and full lower lip; kiss her crazy, while her rounded bottom filled his palms.
Jake threw the covers back and was unaffected by the chill, the heat of his thoughts warming him sufficiently. He considered putting on clothes, but smiled at the thought of slipping into her bed naked. In the hall, his hand on her doorknob, he wavered. What if she kicked him out? Could his ego take the rejection? She’d blurted out plainly enough how she felt last night. If she denied him, the reason wouldn’t be for lack of wanting him as much as he wanted her.
When he closed her door behind him, she stirred. He waited, but she didn’t move again, and his eyes adjusted to the dimness. Still, only her general shape beneath the covers could be made out. He stepped quietly to the side of her bed. The king-sized bed further dwarfed her petite figure. The cold air finally breached the heat of excitement; he shivered and questioned what the hell he was doing.
She shifted. “Climb in, wimp, before all your manliness shrivels up.”
Penny held her breath, but her fast-pumping heart pounded the air right out of her. Standing beside her bed, Jake’s appearance was like a dream. His mussed hair created a halo, but this was no angel. Firm, more muscled than in his rocker days, he had the body of a maturing man that excited more than the younger Jake Winters. When he accepted her invitation to climb in, she hoped she wouldn’t wake up.
He wrapped his arms around her, scooted against her as she slid her arms around his neck and hugged tightly. The chill his body had taken on vanished, and his heat penetrated her flannel pajamas. The only sound he made was short, rhythmic breaths.
“Hi, Jake.” She kissed his neck, his beard tickling her nose with the scent of lemon chamomile and fresh sheets.
One hand caressed slowly along her side, while he moved the other arm under her, dipped into her pajama bottoms, and grasped her cheek firmly. She pushed her hips harder into him. He slipped his hand under her top and caressed her breast.
“Hi, Penny.”
Fingertips on her nipples sent gooseflesh down the length of her body. So caught up in the sensation, she barely noticed when he whipped the material over her head without unbuttoning. He ran his palms down the length of her spine, pushing her tight into his chest, and she gasped at the skin-to-skin sensation. She hungrily spread kisses across his chest.
His fingers walked along her shoulders and neck. He tipped her chin, bringing his lips against hers.
The kiss started slow, exploring her lips before delving deeper. And oh, did he delve deeper. Tasting and tasting until she bucked her hips, wanting more of him than his mouth could provide. The hand caressing her butt swiftly relieved her of the pajama bottoms, and with another quick swoop, he lifted her to straddle him across his abdomen.
He held her waist, stared into her face, all the while his thumbs touching and retreating from the underside of her breasts. “I really shouldn’t be here, now. I wanted us to get to know each other better first.” His whispery voice didn’t sound at all like someone wanting to leave.
She canted forward, ran her palms over his nipples, and enjoyed the response of tightening stomach muscles beneath her thighs. “I think this qualifies as getting to know each other.”
“I was shooting for more than carnal knowledge.”
A laugh bubbled up, which she quickly suppressed. His tense seriousness radiated the air around them. “I know you well enough.”
When he remained silent, she tipped her head to better see his face in the dimness. He stared into her eyes for two beats with some kind of mind meld concentration. Her physical nakedness didn’t compare to the undressing of her soul.
“I like you, Penny. You.” His thumbs pressed harder against her stomach. “I need you to like this Jake, not…the other Jake.” Thin frown lines feathered from the outer corners of his eyes.
She grabbed the covers and brought the blanket over them as she lay forward on his chest. Her cheek rested on his breast, and she settled in, cocooned. Images of Jake flitted across her mind: Jake Winters on stage, caressing the mike on a CD cover, his half-lidded gaze on their first meeting, sitting at the table in the kitchen, Jake hugging his sister, decorating the tree, his serious, apologetic face.
“They’re both you, Jake.” She kissed his chest before lifting her head to gaze into questioning gray eyes. “You’re the sexy singer that juiced my teenage hormones. You’re the less than perfect man who ruined that image and pissed me off. You’re the loving brother, and everyday guy looking for a job. And you’re the man whose company I enjoy, crave even. I can’t separate them, Jake. The complete package is in my bed.” She kissed his mouth. “Okay?”
The question in his eyes dissolved. His head lifted an inch from the pillow; his lips covered hers, and he kissed her while hands roamed her back, bottom, and hips.
She squirmed against him, heating the skin between her thighs. Kissing him harder, deeper, she kneaded his shoulders, arms, and down his sides.
He suddenly shoved his head back into the pillow, breaking the kiss. His hands stilled on her waist. “Damn.”
“What?” Her question was barely a croak, her breathing heavy and jagged.
“So stupid. I charged in here, not prepared.”
Relief lightened her. “Is that all?” Penny reached to the drawer in her nightstand, then flung the covers off and rose into a sitting position as she tore open the condom package.
Leaning back, she brought her hands behind her and to his upper thighs, slid her fingers slowly higher to her destination.
He moaned and tightened the grip on her waist. As if weightless, he lifted her off his hips and held her from him for an excruciatingly long moment. His smile teased and ignited a furnace within. She ached with the want. And when she thought she’d have to fight to come back into contact, he set her ever so slowly and gently to take him in, sending her into mindless bliss.
****
Jake woke. His chest and legs were warm, but a cool draft flitted over his back and butt. Hair tickled his neck as Penny tucked against his chest. Her arms folded in between them and her legs tangled in his. The covers weren’t quite covering his backside, and as gently as possible he pulled them to cover him.
He reached over her, pushed down on the pillow, and spied the clock. Nearly eight thirty. Not that the time mattered. His day was open, and Penny didn’t work today. Content and more calm than he’d felt in over a year, a smile came at the thought of an entire day alone with her. Lying in her bed for a good part of the day would suit him fine, if she went along with the activity. He brought his arm back under the covers to cradle her. Every muscle in his body went on full-relaxed mode. Could she be the elixir needed to keep his mind and body sane?
Pretty big jump, Winters, from one joust between the sheets to the answer for your life.
She stirred. One of her knees came higher between his legs. “What time is it?”
“About eight thirty.” He kissed the top of her head, acknowledged the stirring in his groin by tightening his thighs around her knee.
“The furnace won’t click on until nine.” She unfurled her arms, brought one over his side to palm his butt while the other slid down his abdomen. “Guess we better make our own heat until then.”
****
“Penny, the coffee is done. What are you doing?” Jake’s voice called from the kitchen.
She poised her fingers over the keys of Mandy’s computer. “Give me five minutes.” Google greeted her, and she clicked on email. Still no reply from Aunt Sally. But then, why would she open a message from a stranger named Mandy? And if she did, she probably didn’t understand her niece had sent it. Time to remedy that problem. She clicked compose, typed Jianna in the subject line, and stared at the blank message area.
The smiling face of Aunt Sally, her father’s unmarried and childless sister came to mind; her aunt visited every holiday. They hadn’t kept in touch with any of the relatives in Chicago on a regular basis. She’d never gotten close to her mother’s brother, Ted, or his two kids because of the wife no one liked. Both sets of grandparents died before she started high school. Aunt Sally was the closest link to family, to her parents, and once she’d latched onto that idea this morning, her resolve to let her past die dissolved.
Should she? Her father’s instructions to stay hidden had held her back. He’d known CEO Westingly had to be behind Angie’s disappearance. Westingly was rich and powerful, and he’d said that once he stepped forward to expose such a man, he wouldn’t be sure who could be trusted. His warning to trust no one had proven true. The FBI should’ve been able to protect them. Penny felt sure the car at her house that day had been the very agent who worked with her father. That agent had to have pulled the trigger on her family.
Senator Westingly had bigger aspirations now. He’d probably forgotten about the child who’d escaped, so secure in his Washington career, and he’d moved on to even more power. Her fingers clenched into fists and pulled away from the keyboard. His getting away with murder was wrong, so wrong, and the anger tightened her chest. She couldn’t bring back her family. She could only keep the promise to her father and stay safe.
Yet, so many years had passed without any indication she was still in danger. Surely, her father would agree if he were here. Time changed things. This morning had been so happy. The years had passed, hardened her to introspection, and what was missing from her life. Mandy, Jake, that sense of family they possessed and invited her to share softened her. This morning’s happiness brought a renewed urge for belonging. She needed to let go of the fear and embrace life fully again. But she needed to find some of the love from her past to make this present happiness complete.
She typed—Are you there, Aunt Sally? It’s me using my housemate’s computer. I love and miss you. Please let me know you received this.
“Eggs are done, Penny.”
“Coming right now.” She stared for a heartbeat and clicked Send.
****
“Damn, Jake. You make good scrambled eggs.” Penny shoveled another forkful in her mouth.
For such a tiny woman, she could put away the food. She’d already consumed an English muffin, three slices of bacon, and nearly half the eggs he’d cooked.
“Thanks, Fairy, but with an appetite like yours, I’m not sure you’re that discriminating.”
“Am, too.” With her last bite, she slipped from the chair and pranced to the counter for another cup of coffee.
This morning, Black Widow pajamas covered her petite, curvy frame. How the hell could anyone look sexy in comic book hero flannel? But this dark-haired beauty managed. Then again, the auburn-haired Black Widow was pretty hot. He pondered what Penny would look like with hair the color of her roots—pale auburn. Her eyes were dark chocolate, and her olive-toned skin was warm. Hot Italian? He imagined auburn hair framing—
“You’re staring.” She gave a sideways glance while stirring cream into her coffee.
“I was wondering how you’d look with your natural hair color.”
“Is that a sneaky way of telling me my roots need a touch up?”
He chuckled. “No.”
She sat across from him. “I mimicked my mentor, your sister, and did the Goth thing back when we first met. I’ve gotten used to black hair. It’s me now.” She squinted and dared him to say otherwise.
“I’m not saying you don’t look beautiful with black hair. I just wondered.” He pushed his plate away and brought his coffee cup in front of him. “I’ve told Mandy I’d like to see her with dark blonde hair again, too. That’s all.”
“Oh, a real naturalist.”
“I guess.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Who uses microwaves.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” She giggled. “Being a smart ass.”
He rose, gathering their dishes. “Other than her Goth phase, you chose your mentor well.” Setting the dishes in the sink, he hesitated a moment, but his desire to know her better took over. “I guess you were pretty much all alone when you moved here, so Mandy tells me.” When he turned back, she fingered the bracelet around her wrist and stared into the creamy coffee. “And so young. That must’ve been rough. Don’t you have any other family?”
She stood, not meeting his gaze, and stepped to the sink. “Mandy’s my family. Speaking of which, I follow her edict of the cook doesn’t clean up. You cooked. I clean. So move.” She bumped her hip into his upper thigh and shoved him aside. “We should decide how to spend the day.” Big brown eyes glanced upward. “Unless you already have plans.”
Delving deeper into Penny Sparks’ past was a moot subject. With a quick twist, she’d changed the direction of the conversation, and interjected a resounding closure he knew to walk away from…for now anyway. Besides, the present appeared more alluring when he gazed into those chocolate eyes and thought of the body underneath the sexy flannels. “I hoped you didn’t have plans.” He ran a hand down her back and cupped her butt.
She wiggled out of his grasp. “You are such a butt man.”
“A blithe observation.” This time he brought a knee against the back of her legs, pinning her to the cabinet, and firmly palmed her behind. “Yours is irresistible. I just can’t help myself.”
She sighed, then turned on the water, as if her current stance was a normal position for rinsing dishes. “Well, then amuse yourself, but I’m getting this cleaned up so we can head out. I think a drive up to the Snowbowl for lunch would be fun.”
He didn’t move. The friction building as he rubbed his hand against her heated him beneath his NAU lounge pants. What he wanted was to strip her out of the flannel, set her on the table, and have her one more time. His stamina pleased him. “What you do to me, Penny.”
“Tell you what. Help me get this cleaned up, and we’ll take a shower before we go. Then, I’ll show you just what I can do to you.”