EMILY
When Seth left me yesterday evening, he looked broken and it seemed like he'd come to a decision. He wasn't going to be around anymore. He was not going to beg or grovel because from the sullen expressions on his face, I could tell that he had had enough. I hated the look he’d thrown towards me before he’d left.
He made my nightmare come true. I’d feared he would leave me eventually but, in my mind, the reason was something else. Right now, I was letting him go because I was too much of a coward to take chances to be in a relationship with him again.
I couldn’t be that scared girl anymore. I had to choose what I wanted.
Between my pride and loving him, I choose him.
I'd spent a lot of time thinking of our relationship and how good things used to be before I found out about the bet. He was drunk when he agreed to it, and I couldn't fault him for something that he didn't even remember.
He'd gotten the punishment for it, I’d made him suffer but I didn’t want to torture him anymore. I wasn't going to subject myself to more pain by staying away from him.
I'd already acted cruelly by taking my time thinking about us. When I tried to imagine a future without him in it, I couldn't see one. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him with his gorgeous face and killer smile, always making me believe that I was the most beautiful girl in this world.
I didn't know if he would accept me again after everything I put him through but I could at least try.
I parked my car in the gravel area and stepped out of it. Walking outside, I stood at his door and rehearsed the speech I’d done numerous times before coming here. After a couple of minutes of talking myself out of it, I knocked on the door and waited.
When I didn't get an answer, I knocked again. I’d gone as far as to do my hair and wear some makeup as if that was suddenly going to change things between us. His deadpan expression from last night still haunted me. He hadn’t been smiling, he was just done. It hurt to think I was the one to give him that stone-cold look on his face, I didn’t want him to look at me like that, I wanted to see him smile again.
Three hours ago, I’d texted him asking if he was at home but I never got a response.
I checked the little window; the curtains were pulled, but his truck was nowhere in sight.
I decided to call Sky. She would know where Seth was right now.
"Sky!"
"Hey Em, what's up?"
"Is Seth with you?" I decided to get straight to the point.
She went silent on the other end, "Wait, what do you mean? He didn't tell you where he went?"
"No, he didn't." I made my way back to my car.
I connected the call to the speakers, backed up the car, and drove out of that area. Seth's neighbors had started giving me strange looks. I remembered him telling me that this wasn't exactly a safe place for me to be.
"Emily, his father died last night."
"Oh god, I didn't know! What happened?"
"I think he mentioned lived failure. His dad was a heavy drinker. This was bound to happen someday, it’s just shitty timing."
"How is Seth? Did you talk to him?"
"He was upset but he’d seen it coming. Even though he hated his father, he still lost his dad, you know?"
"I...I have to be with him. He must be so lonely."
"The funeral service was in the morning, babe. It's done. He'll probably be back in town after he takes care of the business there. His father owns a convenience store."
"I'll call Ruth." I said, "but I don't know what to say to her. I...I don't know where he lives in Connecticut."
"Emily, are you sure you want to drive all the way there? It's a long drive from here."
"I want to go see him. He's always been there for me when I needed him, I can't leave him alone right now when he probably needs someone to talk to. I know what it's like to lose a parent and feel alone. It's not a good feeling."
"Okay, I get it. You do what you have to."
"Do you know his exact address?"
"I once sent him a snail mail. I think I might have his address somewhere. Give me a minute and I'll text it to you.”
*~*
Sky texted me Seth’s home address. It was going to be a long drive and honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to that. She made me promise her that I wasn’t going to leave until tomorrow morning because she didn’t want me to drive through the evening. She said it wasn’t safe.
I was forced to agree with her. I decided to leave early morning the next day.
I called Seth again that night but he didn’t answer my phone. I was starting to think he was ignoring me on purpose. He didn’t want anything to do with me. I had a hard time falling asleep, I kept thinking about what I could do to make things better for him.
I grabbed a Grande-sized coffee on my way and a footlong subway. That’s all I needed to get an energy recharge.
I took a few stops on the way for gas and to use the bathroom but other than that, the drive went smoothly. Thank God for the GPS, I was able to navigate my way correctly. It was tolerable with my playlist plugged into the Bluetooth.
I crossed the ‘Welcome to Connecticut’ sign. I knew he lived in a small town on a farmhouse. It felt like I was driving forever. I’d gotten Sky and Indie’s calls asking me if I’d reached. I had to park my car at the side of the road to tell them that I was fine. Since they knew I lived most of my life sheltered, they thought driving alone for hours was a big deal for me. The two acted like I was going to drive into another dimension if they didn’t keep calling me.
I stopped in front of a white farmhouse with a gray slanting roof that was connected to a cute little convenience store. From the looks of it, it was a very old house. Seth had never shown me any pictures of how his house looked like from the outside so I had no idea. I checked the address Sky had forwarded me to make sure I was at the right place until I noticed the familiar truck parked outside the house.
My heart started thumping aggressively.
I parked the car and decided to go inside. It was now or never.
If Seth didn’t want to see me, I’d leave him alone. The thought of him telling me to leave was depressing. No matter how the situation was going to be, I needed to try.
The little bell at the top of the door dinged as I entered the store.
Soft music played from the speakers. I noticed it wasn’t a very big store, but you could find all the essentials in this place. Nothing too fancy, but I liked the old suburban vibe to it.
A blond guy with huge headsets was arranging chocolate bars onto the shelves, humming to a tune, oblivious to my existence. I walked right past him but he didn’t notice me. I took my time navigating through the aisles looking for Seth.
Maybe he was inside the house?
A young girl was standing at the cash register who didn’t look older than me. She could have been fifteen or sixteen, give or take, it was hard to be sure. Her dark hair was so untamed, one could get their hand stuck in them permanently and yet she somehow managed to pull it off.
When her eyes met mine briefly. She appeared baffled for a moment and then quickly recovered. She turned her attention back to the work she was doing, writing something in the register while counting cash.
I went to stand in front of her.
“Hi, I’m looking for Seth.”
Without looking up from the book she said, “He’s not here.”
“But this store belongs to his family, right?”
She sighed like I’d asked her the most difficult question there was.
“The store name literally says ‘Monroe General Stores’, I mean, if that’s not a dead giveaway, I don’t know what is.” She snapped.
“I came from the other entrance so I didn’t see the name there.”
“Not my problem. Listen, I got a shit ton of work to do…so…”
She was being really rude. I don’t think I’d given her a reason to talk to me like that. If this was how she spoke to all the customers, the store was probably loosing a lot of business.
That particular thought was struck down when a customer walked in right then and she quickly perked up.
“Hello there!” she chirped in the kind of friendly tone that I didn’t think she possessed.
So that meant the hostility was only reserved for me.
“Do you know where he is?”
“He’s our late boss’s son which makes him our boss, technically. In case, you don’t know, Bosses don’t really tell their employees where they go or what they do so no, I have no idea where Seth is or when he’s going to be back.”
“Okay, I’m sorry for disturbing you.”
She straight-up ignored me after that.
I had no choice but to walk out of the store with a heavy heart.
I decided to wait inside the car until he was back. He would come out of the house eventually and I didn’t mind waiting. It’s not like I had anything better to do.
Also, I didn’t trust the girl who worked there. I didn’t drive for so many hours just to turn back and leave without meeting him.
It was a good thing that I’d decided to bring my Kindle. I had some books there that I wanted to check out.
Two hours passed and still, there was no sign of Seth. It was getting dark outside too. I also had to look for any hotels nearby.
My stomach growled aggressively but I refused to leave the spot in case I missed him. I could buy some food while I waited so I decided to go back inside the store.
I picked up two packs of Doritos, a can of Sprite, a bar of Reese’s buttercup, and some Oreo biscuits. A girl’s gotta eat when she’s hungry.
There was already a woman at the cash register with a stroller, I stood behind her with my things. Somehow, I hadn’t noticed before that Seth was at the cash register, talking to the lady while he rang up her items. He seemed to be having a polite conversation with her. He hadn’t noticed me yet.
When the woman walked out of the store, it was my turn. He disappeared for a moment before returning to the counter again.
“Sorry about the wait, I was just…” His eyes landed on me, surprise turned to confusion and finally fury.
I didn’t know what the outcome of this meeting was going to be, but I knew what I was here for. This was my only chance to let him know how I truly felt about him and I wasn’t going to ruin it.