CHAPTER 34 - DON’T FALL FOR ME, HARRIETWhat does it feel like when you fall in love?
An optimist would say that love is the most beautiful thing in the world. When you fall in love, you will achieve true happiness. And true love will give true peace of mind, regardless of all the pain that comes with love. And that was true.
Everything is right.
But we must not deny that the pain that accompanies it is still there and lives with it.
Liam stood in the middle of a dark abyss. Below his feet was a shallow river that flowed weakly, with the water barely existing at all.
Soon, this river would recede completely, and dry up. Then, there would be no trace of it.
"Hic-"
A small voice echoed across the abyss wall. In the darkness that engulfed Liam, a faint light at the edge of the abyss entered his vision. Liam walked over.
“Hic… hic… hic…”
Painful sobs came from there.
Liam saw a woman standing alone. She looked weak and frail, crying stifled and so pitiful. Seeing that, Liam wanted to approach her. Liam wanted to approach the dim light like the moon hiding behind the clouds.
He wanted to hug her tightly, to cover her with his warmth.
But Liam couldn't take a step closer.
He was afraid.
When the river beneath his feet had dried up and he had to disappear too…
If he had to leave her alone…
What would happen to her?
When someone fell in love, how would they feel?
Why did they feel happy over love, and why did they feel pain?
They would be happy because they knew they had found their soul mate. They would happily wait for a future where they were together, for a long, long time, in happiness.
But what if that future couldn't exist?
Only the pain remained.
Liam would leave Harriet sooner or later.
And when he left...
"Don't fall for me, Harriet."
It was not that Liam couldn't love her back. Not that Liam hated Harriet.
But because Liam knew he would leave her.
He would go far and not be able to love Harriet and make her happy.
"Hic-"
Liam's eyes opened.
Above him, on his bed, a woman hugged him tightly.
Just as Liam turned away back into the very dark abyss, the woman turned, chased after him, and hugged him tightly.
“Stay with me a little longer… just a little longer…”
Liam heard Harriet whisper in his arms.
“I promise I won't disappoint you, so… stay a little longer…”
Liam gasped.
"Harriet," his arms wrapped around the woman above him tightly.
"Shhh, Harriet, don't cry," he whispered.
Harriet looked up and stared at him.
"Milord!" the woman sobbed once more.
“Oh, god, you're awake–” she choked and coughed in tears. “You wake up… oh–”
Liam looked around him in his room in the top tower. The full moon had climbed to the peak of the horizon. So he couldn't wake up on time, huh?
His body felt heavy, and all his joints ached. Harriet hugged him gently, leaning her weight to the side so it wouldn't crush him. The woman sobbed, and her voice echoed through the silent room.
"I'm sorry, Harriet," Liam whispered.
"No..." Harriet shook her head gently. "Forgive me-"
Silence enveloped the two hugging each other.
Liam furrowed his brows, not knowing what to say. His chest felt so sore, but with the woman in his arms, he felt he could endure all the pain in the world. He had to endure it.
"Don't feel sorry for me. Don't be afraid to leave me alone. Don't push yourself for me," whispered Harriet.
"I will arrange everything, I will do everything to make you happy, so let me suffer a little," said the woman with a gentle smile.
Liam looked at her sadly.
“I already said that I won't regret it even if you leave me, but don't be in a rush to leave. I beg of you… let yourself be happy too,” said Harriet then.
"I don't want to see anyone suffer, especially you, Harriet," Liam said softly.
"But I also have the right to suffer for the people who are important to me," continued Harriet. "This is what I'm here for. I'm here to suffer, and I'm ready for it. So… don't worry about me.”
Liam chuckled.
“People who are important to you?” the man asked.
Harriet sobbed. Her chest ached and spread all over her body. “Of course, you are my husband…”
Harriet stopped talking at Liam's pained look. Liam's golden eyes stared at Harriet in a way Harriet had never seen before.
"So… you already know I love you," whispered Harriet.
Silence.
"So, which one is right?"
Liam's question made Harriet smile bitterly. At this moment, Harriet knew she couldn't hide anything from those golden eyes.
Liam Almandine looked at her straight to her soul, and she could not hide. Even if she covered her face with the perfect mask, Liam would be able to see that she was lying.
“I… can hide my feelings if you feel uncomfortable about it,” Harriet replied, finally being honest.
Liam took a deep breath. Liam knew clearly that Harriet was going to suffer from now on. And he didn't want to let her...
"My Madam has always been outspoken and stubborn, hasn't she?" Liam asked, almost giving up.
Harriet hid her face in Liam's chest and hugged him tighter. "How can I not love you after knowing you?"
Liam hugged his wife back tightly.
To be honest, Liam knew that Harriet had fallen in love with him. He could tell by the way the woman looked him straight in the eye, admiring him in silence as she hugged him with tears in her eyes when she heard that the Old Duke had won that day.
He heard Harriet thank him, and he felt a fluctuation in his own chest at that.
“But if you regret–”
"I told you I wouldn't regret it," Harriet glared at Liam. Her tear-stained face looked irritated and angry, just like the usual Harriet. She didn't want to just give up. "I'll love you all I want, but I won't show it if you're not comfortable."
Liam was confused. He didn't know how to make this woman understand. He would soon die–
At that moment, something connected in Liam's head.
Oh, he was going to die.
He would die and go somewhere, disappear to someplace far away.
He's going to die, wasn't he?
If he died, he would never be able to see Harriet again.
This realization hit Liam and woke him up.
"Hey," Liam grabbed Harriet's hands.
Liam's golden eyes stared straight into Harriet's lavender eyes.
"It's useless if only I am happy," Liam said softly. "So let me love you too, okay?"
Harriet blinked in disbelief. Her eyes narrowed in confusion, causing Liam to chuckle at the sight.
Liam… also loved Harriet.
There would be no future for their love.
And the pain they would feel applied not only to Harriet who would be left but also to Liam who would leave.
Because Liam loved Harriet too.