Kenna
“You’re not jumping like this,” Dad says sharply as he slams the door shut in the room he just booked for me in an inn in Opal Hill.
I tuck my trembling hands behind my back and squeeze my fingers to stop them from shaking. He spirited us here, thank the Goddess. If I had to spend another second in Evander’s company, I would have lost control of my already exhausted powers, but I’m still on the verge of dropping into my shadow, and Dad knows something is wrong.
His silver eyes–the same shape and shade as mine–hold my gaze with an intensity that makes me want to look away and submit, but I stand my ground.
“I want to go home.”
“Too bad, Kenna. I’m not leaving Granger and Evander here alone to be tended by whatever healer they have in this village. You need to heal him.”
“I already gave him my tears. I don’t know what else you want me to do.”
“What is the matter with you?” he asks, sounding more than shocked that I’m essentially thumbing my nose at not only him, but his Beta and Evander. “He was stabbed, Kenna. With a knife coated in wolfsbane.”
I shrug, but inside I’m falling to pieces. “He’ll be fine in a few days and can walk all the way to Moonrise if that’s where he decides to go.”
Dad narrows his eyes at me. “What the hell is going on right now?”
“Nothing. Flynn and Connor already told you everything. We got attacked by rebels.”
He takes a step toward me. “And you used your powers to kill upward of fifty people, maybe more. Are you okay?”
I glare at him. I might be able to force myself to cry, but I’ve never mastered keeping my real tears at bay. Still, my entire focus is spent on willing myself to look firm, and hard, and not give away the fact that my violent act is ripping me apart. “I’m fine.”
He’s silent for a moment, searching my face. “I can bring your mom here–”
“Don’t. I’ll see her soon enough.” I tilt my chin toward the ceiling in a show of bravery, but I’m actually trying desperately to stop the tears springing along my lashes from falling down my cheeks. “But I’m not healing Evander. Find another healer. I’m tired.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Dad glowers at me. Any other person would cower away from him if they were able to see the look on his face right now. I just want him to leave so I can crawl onto the itchy, straw stuffed mattress and cry until I pass out.
He turns for the door but pauses, his shoulders slumping. “You saved not only your own life today, but the lives of three of our kingdom's best warriors and countless villagers in the pack nearby. I’m proud of you, Kenna.”
My heart is in my throat when he leaves, shutting the door firmly behind him.
I sink onto the bed and lie back, letting my shadow consume me. I’m sure hours tick by, because when we arrived in Opal Hill the moon was still high in the sky, and when my powers finally simmer and ease, it’s nearly noon.
I haven’t slept. Not a wink. Everything feels wrong right now, and I have no idea how to move forward.
I have a mate. It’s what I always wanted. But… this isn’t the magical feeling I thought it would be. It’s confirmation that I can’t feel the bond like most wolves can.
I also have a mate who doesn't want me.
I think about the moment Evander froze and got attacked. It makes my stomach turn, and I, eventually, can’t take it anymore and rise from bed, dressing in the clothes Dad packed and brought with him.
A soft, violet dress brushes my ankles. The sleeves are sheer and bunched at the shoulders. I tie my hair–tangled and in desperate need of a good brushing and maybe some really strong conditioner–away from my face and slip into a pair of sandals before walking into the inn proper, which is nothing more than a cozy sitting room with a few bookshelves.
Opal Hill is tiny–no more than forty or so pack members–and it doesn’t even have a town square.
I’m sure everyone else in our party is asleep as I walk around the village. I cross a stone bridge covered in wisteria that matches the shade of my dress and find myself in a wooded trail system.
Gardens appear all around me–flowers, vegetables, herbs and spices. It reminds me of the parks and gardens in Moonrise, but on a smaller scale, and I suddenly ache to be home.
Going to Crescent Falls was pointless, wasn’t it? I could have stayed in Moonrise this summer. The rebels wouldn’t have tried to hunt me down in that case. I wouldn’t have killed anyone last night. I wouldn’t have spirited Evander and I hundreds of miles from home.
But that night in the alcove, and at the inn, wouldn’t have happened. Our conversation in the cave before Flynn and Connor arrived would never have taken place.
I’m so, so angry with Evander, but the fact that I used to like him more than friends… that I loved him, and still do, remains.
I sink onto a bench and tilt my face to the sun.
Well, this has certainly complicated things, hasn’t it?
I chuckle despite myself, but when I open my eyes, I find I’m not alone.
Flynn sits down beside me dressed in plain clothes instead of his leathers. He looks rough, like he hasn’t slept at all either.
He ruffles his wet hair and looks down at me, searching my eyes. “Long night?” he asks.
“How’d you guess?”
He snorts a laugh and leans against the bench, sighing heavily. “I couldn’t sleep. I jumped off that bridge over there to wash up and got chased and cursed at by a woman with a broom. Her daughter seemed to enjoy the show, though,” he teases, winking at me.
“You’re truly a menace. I have no idea why anyone would let you be a Ghost, of all things.”
“I just don’t take myself too seriously, unlike your mate and Connor.”
“Don’t–don’t call him my mate, please.”
“Why not? That’s what he is.”
“How long have you known about it?”
“Longer than you, obviously.” He gives me a teasing look.
I know he’s trying to cheer me up, but I’m still livid.
“Look, I have no experience with mates. But, I’m a wolf, through and through. The mate bond drives people insane, Princess Kenna. And Evander has felt it since he was sixteen. Consider yourself lucky you can’t feel it.”
“What?”
He nods, but my mind is reeling back to the shocked look on his face and the way he said, “No,” the day he showed up after my party. The day all of this went wrong.
He’s really felt it for that long?
“I–I can feel it, a little. It’s just–I don’t really know how to explain it, and I’m certainly not talking to you about it,” I huff, shifting away from him.
But Flynn doesn’t let up. “I can find you a village woman to talk to.”
“I have friends, Flynn.”
“...Where?”
I glare at him. “Back home in Moonrise. I’m honestly very popular.”
“Well, soon you’ll be back in Moonrise complaining to your girlfriends instead of doing something about this situation, like talking some sense into Evander.”
“I have no desire to talk to him. He had no desire to act on our bond. I don’t understand why he didn’t just reject me.”
“Well, are you going to reject him?”
“No, I…” I hadn’t even thought of it. The thought never once crossed my mind. I guess I should talk to him first.
Yes. That's the appropriate thing to do.
I rise, but Flynn stretches out, his face turned to the sun as he says, “If you do reject him, you know where to find me. I wouldn’t mind lounging on a throne all day.”
“You wish,” I grumble and walk back toward the bridge.
I’m sure Evander is at the inn somewhere, so I go back and walk down the hallways looking for any sign of my dad, or Granger, or even Commander Artyom.
But I come across a room toward the back of the inn and hear my dad’s voice, and then Evander’s voice… lifted in an argument.
I slowly open the door, but neither of them look at me.
Evander looks like hell, but he’s standing, his bare chest covered in bandages. His eyes slide to mine, and he sucks in a breath before turning back to my dad.
“When?” he asks in a voice that trembles slightly. “When do I have to give my answer?”
“When we arrive in Moonrise, I assume.”
I stand in the doorway, turning to scan the room. Granger is standing near the window with his arms crossed, his eyes on the floor and lost in thought.
“Give your answer to what?” I ask, stepping into the room.
Evander is looking at me again. His eyes are honed on mine and such a deep shade of emerald. It’s breathtaking, honestly. I’ve always thought he was just beautiful, and now that I know we were destined for each other?
I don’t want to reject him.
I don’t want him to reject me.
We just need to talk about this, but the look on his face as he brushes past my dad and stalks toward me makes me wonder if he has room to even consider that this bond is a good thing.
He pauses beside me, casting me in his shadow. He looks down, his lips parting like he’s going to say something, but his jaw flexes.
His hand brushes mine as he walks past me.
The touch sends prickles of electricity rippling over my skin. I try to swallow and find it impossible.
I turn to chase after him, but I hear the doors leading out of the inn slam shut.
“We need to prepare to leave within the hour whether or not he’s coming with us,” Dad says to Granger.
“He’ll come.”
“Are you sure about that? Especially now?” Dad eyes his Beta, the two of them sharing some internal conversation I’m not privy to.
“What happened?” I ask as unease settles over the room.
Dad turns and seems surprised to see me still standing there. He runs his fingers through his dark hair. The old tattoos lining his fingers and forearms catch the sunlight filtering through the moth-eaten curtains.
“The mystics have made a decision about the Rite. They’ve seen who has been chosen to perform the ritual.” It’s Granger who speaks, and he looks more than forlorn about it.
“Who–” I begin to ask, but then a twisting sensation turns my stomach into a knot. “Evander?”
I look at my dad for confirmation, and he nods.
“Who else?” I ask.
Why am I so hurt when the woman named is not me?
I slowly back out of the room and turn, debating what step to take next.
I’m still trying to understand why Evander hid our bond from me. I’m trying to wrap my head around why he would kiss me and is so devoted to protecting me, but when it comes to us actually being mates he just… can’t.
Now, I’m not sure it matters. Not if he’s been chosen for the ritual. We might have this all wrong.
But one thing is clear.
The idea of him being with anyone else is absolutely gutting to me.
And that has nothing to do with the bond we share, and everything to do with how I feel about him, and how I’ve been searching for someone to fill the void he left for years.
He can’t… he can’t do the ritual. He can’t. I can’t bear it.
“Are you ready to go?” Dad asks, coming up beside me before I can make a break for the door to chase Evander down.
Granger brushes past us.
“He’s going to go make sure Evander is ready to travel. He didn’t take the news of the Rite well.”
“Dad, I–we’re–” I almost say it. I almost tell my dad, the Alpha King of Eastonia, that Evander and I are mates.
But I hesitate.
“What is it?” he asks, looking down at me with concern.
What am I supposed to say?
“Nothing. I just need–I need to talk to Mom.”
An hour later, I’m standing outside with Dad while Evander talks with Commander Artyom. My heart lurches as I watch Evander hand the commander his black gloves, and I realize he’s… he’s done being a Ghost.
He can’t go back to that life. Everything is changing now.
His eyes meet mine, and they’re lifeless. Empty.
He says a few words to Flynn and Connor, who looks concerned as he gruffly nods and walks toward us.
I watch every step he takes in my direction and drop my eyes as he comes to stand beside me and takes my hand.
His grip is tight. I feel his touch everywhere. I feel awful.
This is why he never told me. This–ruling with me, being shackled to a throne–wasn’t ever what he wanted.
My dad’s powers wrap around us as I look up at him. My lips part to ask if he’s okay, but he says, “We need to talk when we get back to Moonrise.”
And then the world goes black.