Present Day
“And he’s not helping at all,” I complained with a huff.
Lena just nodded, barely paying attention to me but still lending an ear to my rant. “Have you talked to him?”
“I would, except that we haven’t had a real conversation without a fight in weeks now.” I sounded bitter, and I was, I couldn’t pretend otherwise.
“Sit down with him, maybe he’s stressed or has something on his mind.” Lena paused and I helped haul the massive bolt of princess pink satin back onto the shelf. “Peter won’t come out of his shell unless you go to him first.”
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Peter was a pain in my ass lately, and that wasn’t a charitable thought to be having about my fiancé. “I just want him to take some initiative for once, you know? Like come talk to me if you have a problem, don’t wait for me to go to you.”
Lena laughed loudly as she walked back to the front of the store, her long colourful skirts swished around her ankles and bare feet. With her long wavy brown hair and flowy peasant top she looked witchy. I felt woefully inadequate next to my beautiful cousin. In the States, I got hit on a lot, guys always paid attention to me, but here in Athens all the attention went to her. She spoke Greek, she was classically beautiful, she lived with her family and worked the family store – she was the perfect woman. And I looked like a trashy American on vacation with my messy blonde ponytail, my distinct shortness, and my ‘chubbiness’ as aunt Iva put it. Chubby my ass, I was perfectly fine.
I had been in Athens for almost two years now, and I still wasn’t quite used to the sour looks from people when I apologized for not speaking the language or struggling to understand their thick accents. Lena was the only one that didn’t harass me about it, and subsequently the only one I could really talk to about anything. Especially Peter.
“Sometimes you have to do it yourself. Especially with a stubborn man, and you’ve been with him long enough to know that, Chloe,” she scolded.
We had been together for most of the two years I had been in Athens, and engaged for almost six months now, and I stillwasn’t used to his stubbornness. His ears must have been ringing because the bell above the door dinged and he strode in; one hand in his suit pocket, the other sweeping his sunglasses back.
“Hi!” I called excitedly. I quickly shrugged off my sewing belt and ran up to him, throwing myself into his waiting arms. “We were just talking about you.”
“Only good things I hope,” he replied with a chuckle.
I grinned and kissed his cheek as he pulled me tighter to him. Peter was never this affectionate, I had no idea what had gotten into him, but I wasn’t going to waste it. “I really need your help,” I pleaded, batting my eyes at him. “I need your help tonight with picking a location because I can’t book the caterer without it—”
“Later,” he said exasperatedly and set me down. “We’ll talk about that later. Hey Lena.”
Lena smiled at him and waved shyly. I turned back to Peter and frowned; the way his mood switched so fast had me getting dizzy half the time. “What’s wrong?” I asked, placing my hand on his chest.
Peter pushed it away and offered me a tight-lipped smile. “Nothing, it’s been a long day and I want to go home. Are you ready to leave?”
“Um…” I glanced back at Lena for the go ahead, I couldn’t leave the shop until we were done, and the till still hadn’t been counted.
She smiled and shooed at us. “You go, I can finish up here.”
“Are you coming back with us tonight Lena?” Peter asked, startling us both. “My parents are back on the island tonight; we’re having a big dinner and all.”
A light blush spread across her face, I bit my tongue and felt my myself scowl. I hated the instant reaction that she had toward Peter, it was obvious that she liked him. Hell, most women that met him liked him, and I didn’t blame her for that, but I wished it didn’t happen right in front of me.
“No, no, I know you guys haven’t seen each other in a few days, go on, enjoy yourselves.”
Peter nudged me and I sighed. “Oh, come on Lena, Aunt Iva won’t mind. Come back with us for dinner.”
A full megawatt smile spread across her face and she nodded eagerly. Peter leaned down to kiss my cheek for reassurance and waited while we finished closing up the store. When we finished the three of us wandered down to the pier, the private ferry was waiting to take us across to the private island.
The choppy water lapped hungrily at the sides of the boat and the lights on the roof made the waves twinkle. Peter rubbed my back and braced himself on the railing. I gazed up at him leaned in to kiss his shoulder. His hair had gotten longer, almost shoulder length black waves now, his beard was getting longer too, that wasn’t his usual look. As if sensing my revelation that something was off, he flashed his most charming smile and pulled me in for another kiss.
“You look confused,” he murmured.
Nothing else to say apparently. “No, just watching you,” I replied with a shrug. “You look different lately I think.”
I caught the shadow of doubt cross his face just before his eyes seemed to go a colder shade of blue. “Nothing’s different,” he said nonchalantly. “You’re determined to find something wrong with me today though.”
I sighed and pulled away. Why did he have to be like this? It was dealing with an antagonistic teenager some days. We stayed silent for the rest of the ride, I tapped my foot anxiously and Lena kept shooting me sympathetic looks but all I could think about was how I had roped her into an awkward dinner and a stay at their house now.
Relief flooded through me when we finally docked again. In the distance, the main house glowed vibrantly; the warm yellow lights shone from the windows, and little ways back I could just make out the lights of the guest house where Peter and I were staying. A new type of fear gripped me as the three of us climbed the stairs together. Peter’s parents would be waiting for us in the kitchen, and I could already feel the disapproving look.
“Yassoo!” Hello, Peter called.
“Peter! My darling!” Marie cried excitedly.
His mother bustled into the room and threw her arms wide for her son. They were in such stark contrast; short, plump, motherly figure, with wild red hair, against her lean, tall, raven haired son. He dwarfed her by nearly two full feet.
They chattered to each other in Greek, she pointedly ignored both me but smiled broadly at Lena. If I had bigger balls, I would have told them off for being rude in front of company, but I kept my mouth shut and went to the bar for a strong drink.
“Chloe,” she greeted coldly. “How are things?”
If I answered truthfully, she would tune me out, if I shrugged it off, she would still tune me out. So, I decided to be the bitch I wanted to be. “Oh, you know, just arguing with your son about our wedding. The usual.” I punctuated my glare at Peter with a long swig of my vodka.
“For Christ’s sake,” he snarled and stomped off.
“What’s he testy about?”
I spun on my heel to see Michael coming down the stairs. Peter’s stepfather and Marie’s new husband. He was actually pretty nice despite the sour look that was permanently branded onto his face.
“Hi Mike,” I said cheerily. “He’s just angry that I want him to help put our wedding together and I’m not afraid to call him out on it.”
Maybe we’d have angry sex later if I got Peter worked up enough, that was the hope anyway. If I thought too much about that then I’d be able to pinpoint the exact day we last had sex, and that reality was just flat out depressing to think about.
“Peter has a lot to worry about,” his mother protested. “His job requires a lot of commitment, if you were at that little store more often, you’d understand.”
Oh, Marie, I do love your passive aggressiveness. I made a non-committal humming noise and wandered off into the dining room where Peter and Lena were chatting together at the counter. She giggled and I felt my stomach twist in resentment. Why could she get along so well with my fiancé when I couldn’t?
“Pete?” I asked softly. “Do you want to help me with the potatoes?”
He glanced up and blinked as if noticing me for the first time. “Yeah…sure.”
There wasn’t much to do, Marie had put most of it in the oven already, but I still wanted something for us to do together. “I’m sorry, okay?” I whispered to him while cleaning lettuce. “I just wished you’d be more involved, and less distant.”
“I don’t know what you want from me,” he grumbled. “I’m paying for this whole thing, I gave you the credit card, my mother offered to help—”
“But it’s our wedding, Pete! Not me and your mom, you and me. I want you to help me plan it.”
He sighed and flicked soap of his hands before bracing himself dramatically against the counter and looking away. When he didn’t say anything, I went on, “You don’t have a problem making time to talk to Lena…”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked exasperatedly.
“You know exactly what I mean—”
Marie’s shrill screech cut me off, “Zander! I was beginning to think you weren’t coming!”
I turned more excitedly than I should have and felt my heart catch in my throat. Alex was slipping his jacket off and sauntering towards the kitchen. I shouldn’t have stared, it drew attention that we didn’t need, but I couldn’t help it. His son looked exactly like him, and in two years he hadn’t changed at all.
Everything was wrong about our relationships, but it wasn’t like I had actively searched for his son. It was some sick cosmic joke courtesy of Lena since she introduced us. At least Alex and I could be in the same room together without jumping each time we even glanced at each other.
“Peter, Chloe,” he greeted briskly. He avoided looking at me, but I was sure I was the only person who noticed. “Lovely to see you both.”
“Lovely until she starts bitching at you,” Peter muttered under his breath.
My eyes started to burn and my throat tightened. It was my usual state for at least two weeks now. “You know what? I’m not hungry, I’m just going to go back to the house.”
I didn’t say goodbye to anyone, despite Alex protesting loudly and Marie saying it was rude that I left so abruptly. I hatedit here. My own boyfriend didn’t like me, his family didn’t like me, my cousin was this darling girl they all loved, and I was always the fuck up. I made it to the guest house and went straight to the spare room to leave my ring on the dresser. It wasn’t even the kind of ring I wanted; it was square cut on a yellow gold band. Hideous. But I wouldn’t tell Peter that, I felt ungrateful just thinking it.
I cried for a long time in the spare room, the room I had been staying in, until I heard the front door and Peter going into the master suite. As soon as that door closed I slipped out onto the back deck and down to the beach. He wouldn’t care, he wouldn’t come looking for me no matter what.
The ocean lapped at my feet and I hugged my knees to my chest. Greece was beautiful, Athens was beautiful, it was everyone around me that sucked. I came here to be with my family and all I had gotten out of it was a dead end relationship with a man who didn’t want to be involved at all, a family that needled me for everything from my appearance to what I ate and what I wore.
“You look upset.”
I wiped my eyes before glancing over my shoulder. Alex stood there with his hand in his loose linen pant pockets, and his button up blowing in the breeze.
“I’m fine,” I said bitterly.
“You’re not fine,” he replied as he took a seat next to me. “Chloe, you’re crying, tell me what’s wrong.”
“You shouldn’t be here,” I sobbed, wiping desperately at my constant tears. “We’re not supposed to be alone, remember?”
“Right,” he said with a chuckle that made me mad. “Because someone is going to see us through the trees and down a hill. I just wanted to check on you.”
We sat in silence for a long time, I was grateful that he didn’t push me or touch me or anything. We just sat and it was more than Peter and I had done in a long time.
“Does he ever say anything nice about me?” I asked in a choked voice.
“Of course, he does.”
“Like what?”
Alex’s silence actually made me start to laugh. “See? You can’t even make anything up.” My laughter turned to sobbing and I covered my face with my hands.
Then I felt it, his hands on my shoulder as he pulled me to his side. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
I sniffled loudly. “Does he hate me?”
“No, he’s confused, stressed, and acting like an asshole. It’ll pass.”
“I feel like he hates me some days but the way he looks at Lena—” I broke off, unwilling to let myself go further.
“No, no, no, don’t think like that,” Alex soothed. “He loves you; he just struggles to show it.”
“Was Marie like that when you were together?” I realized it was rude to ask that but it was too late.
“Yes,” he answered rather reluctantly. “She wasn’t very affectionate towards me, but she was romantic in her own way. If that makes sense to you.”
“It does,” I said quietly. I rubbed my face against his shoulder, taking solace in the silky fabric on my cheek. “I want to leave, Alex. I feel like everyone hates me.”
“I don’t.”
“You don’t count.”
“I’d miss you a lot if you left.”
As if my heart could take any more punishment today. “I’m not here for you.”
“I know, but I’d still miss you.” Alex paused and ran his hand through my loose curls. “I didn’t deserve you and neither does he.”
Goosebumps rose on my arms and I shivered unintentionally. This was everything we had denied ourselves for two years. We never let ourselves wind up alone, no private conversations, no sitting next to each other, nothing. But right now I had never felt so good to be in his arms. As if he could read my thoughts and his hand moved to cup my face. I gazed up at him with watery eyes and reached up to run my hand through his hair. Don’t do this. The voice in my head protested but I pushed it away as I leaned up and met him with a soft kiss.
He kissed me back hard, one hand cupping my cheek the other on the nape of my neck. His tongue swept my mouth and I moaned helplessly. I could almost swear we were alone on the beach, on the entire island.
Alex pulled away and my breathing came out laboured. As I gazed up into his eyes shock shot through me. Ohmigod, what have I done?
“No,” I whispered in horror. “No, no, no, oh god.” I jumped to me feet and stumbled backward.
Alex got up just as quickly and reached for my hand. “Chloe, I’m sorry—”
“Get away from me!” I snapped.
Adrenaline propelled me forward and I ran back up the hill, my jeans were damp and weighed me down, but I struggled through it. Peter would really hate me if he knew what I did and now I didn’t know what to do. I made it up the hill and to the door before he did but I didn’t stop, the door slammed behind me and I pressed myself against it.
My cheeks were hot and tear streaked, my heart was pounding in my throat, and all I could think about was how soft his lips were on mine. My phone buzzed and I squeezed my eyes shut but reached for it anyway.
12:34 AM A.
I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I over stepped.