Three Years Ago
I was shaking all over as I downed my champagne and circled around the room; the city sparkled in lights from perfectly shaped square neighbourhoods, in the centre, the yet unfinished La Sagrada Familia Cathedral stood like a foreign, ancient palace. I stopped in front of the large picture window and set my glass down, focusing on the ethereal building and the lovely view it gave our suite.
The sound system across the room came to life and rock played quietly enough to just add a bit of ambience without being overwhelming. Alex came up behind me and stood there for a moment, the scent of his deep cologne wafted around me in a cloud of spice that made my head spin.
“Gorgeous,” he murmured, running his fingers down my arm. “Just look at you.”
I laughed and leaned back against him. “You’re so full of it.”
“Not even a little.” He paused to kiss my shoulder and push the strap of my dress down. “You’re stunning and beautiful and gorgeous.”
He said that and my heart soared; Alex never used words like sexy or hot, the words I had most often heard from guys I hung out with. I liked when he talked about me like there was nowhere else he’d rather be, he’d done that since our first official “date” and while half of me wanted to ask him to stop because at the time it made me think we really were dating, the other half just wanted to enjoy it. He does it because it makes you more comfortable and that’s obvious, the smarter side of my brain reasoned, don’t read into it.
Alex pulled lightly at the zipper on the back of my dress and suddenly I was jolted out my thoughts and back to reality. I had to tell him this was technically my first time, I couldn’t just keep it to myself. What if something happens? I didn’t know what could possibly happen, but I was still fearful that something would go wrong.
“Alex,” I said quietly. “I-I should um, tell you something—”
“We don’t have to,” he said quickly. “I don’t mind waiting if you need more time, Chloe.”
I closed my eyes and forced myself to just focus on my breathing. We’d been going on dates for a month now, he’d paid me religiously every Sunday night when we went to dinner. Cash, as I requested. He took me to places I wanted to go, he respected every boundary I had set so far, and he hadn’t pushed at all to have sex yet. But that didn’t change my nerves about coming to Barcelona, because I knew tonight was the night. He didn’t just bring me be here to show me off in an Oscar de la Renta gown and a brand-new pair of diamond earrings, he got us the nicest suite, I’d gone shopping for lingerie just for this event. We both knew that this was it, so why was I still shaking like a leaf in a hurricane?
“No,” I continued, keeping my eyes shut. “I just wanted to say thank you. For everything, I mean.” It wasn’t really a lie, I honestly did want to thank him for the opportunities he was giving me.
He hummed and continued pulling my zipper down, once the back of my dress was open he slipped a hand inside; feeling my hip before moving around to slid up my abdomen. “Don’t thank me for doing what I promised I would,” he said with a chuckle. “Have I thanked you for coming with me yet?”
I turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck, his eyes were so dark and there was nowhere else for me to look, I didn’t even realize at first that he was leaning down to kiss me. Jazmin’s words and her giggling as she said it played over and over again in my head: ‘he’s a man, not a boy’. I’d rolled my eyes when she said it, it was too cliché, but I’d texted her after our first date just to tell her that she was right, fuck me was she right.
Alex kissed in a way that forced me to only focus on him; the way he held me to him, his hands grabbing me like there was nothing else he wanted more than to touch me, his mouth was hard and unyielding, every inch of me was tuned into him. He didn’t rush it, he didn’t try and speed it along to what he wanted, he always dragged this part out until I was panting and flushed and had practically forgotten the entire evening leading up to this.
“Is that my thank you?” I asked breathlessly, gazing up at him. “I don’t know if that’s enough; I did fly across an ocean for you after all.”
He growled and pushed at my dress until it was falling to the floor and I giggled excitedly as he started kissing his way down my body. This was safe territory, we’d done this before – I had done this before. I hope he liked my lingerie at least; the strappy white faux corset had cost almost as much as my dress and I’d chosen it to all be white for my own little virgin joke.
Alex knelt in front of me and pulled at the straps of my thong, sliding it down my thighs just far enough that he could kiss the soft skin above my slit. I moaned and sunk my fingers into his hair, urging him lower faster. He laughed and jerked the panties the rest of the way down before grabbing the back of my knees and falling backwards onto the floor, pulling me down with him so I was sitting on his chest. I cried out in surprise and threw my hands out to catch myself, Alex reached out to steady me and grinned when I glanced down at him.
“Move up here,” he urged, grabbing my hips. “All I want is to taste your pretty little cunt right now.”
My face was red but his tone and his words made me follow his orders, trying not to hurt him in the process as I hovered over his mouth. What if I break his nose or something? Sudden panic gripped me but when Alex’s tongue found my clit it was quickly forgotten. My back arched and toes curled as ground down onto his mouth, I swept my loose hair back and sighed.
I tipped my head back and moaned shamelessly while Alex continued circling his tongue around my clit. He kissed my pussy, slowly and methodically and not at all in a rush. It drove me crazy and I was turning into a panting mess above him, writhing and feeling my tits while he worshipped me. I leaned back and rested my hand on his thigh; I could feel his cock straining at his zipper and wicked idea came to mind. I had to sit up a bit, to which Alex grabbed my ass and pulled me closer to his mouth, but with some maneuvering I got his pants undone and pulled his cock out. Alex groaned in annoyance when I twisted around and fought to hold me in place until he realized what I was trying to do and stopped holding me back.
“You’re an angel,” he said dreamily. “A filthy perfect angel.”
I laughed and pumped my hand on his cock, mesmerized by how much bigger it looked in my hand. I hadn’t really seen a lot of them, and I’d only seen uncircumcised ones in pictures, but I liked his already. He was thick and long and exactly like what I thought they were supposed to look like – like something you would see in a toy store instead of the teenage guys I’d half-hooked up with that were three different colours and oddly proportioned.
Leaning forward, I was able to drag my tongue along the glistening tip, shivering while I did it because Alex had suddenly forced two thick fingers into my waiting pussy. I moaned softly and took the head of him in my mouth, just savouring his taste.
“You’re such a tease, baby, I know you can do better than that.”
He pushed my head down further and my eyes went wide. I was on the verge of gagging and gagging hard but Alex knew exactly how to distract me; he sucked hard on my clit and made me cry out around his cock. Tremors ran through my thighs and my fight against his touch stopped as I came and he managed to get the rest of his cock in my mouth, down my throat. A second later he released me, I gasped for air and it quickly turned into a cry of ecstasy as Alex massaged my g-spot and kept sucking and tonguing my clit.
I couldn’t hold myself back from humping his mouth frantically, moaning and whining as he brought me higher and higher.
“Alex,” I gasped out. “Oh god, Alex, don’t stop, don’t stop!”
He pressed the sensitive spot harder and caught my clit between his teeth, gently raking it and making me mewl loudly and desperately. I collapsed on top of him, letting him continue his assault on my sex while I lazily stroked his cock. Just as he had me climbing higher again, he stopped; pulling his fingers out and giving my ass a good smack.
“Get up, get on the bed.”
I scrambled off the floor and threw myself onto the bed, watching as he pushed himself up and stalked over to me. “One of these days you’re going to let me sit your pussy on my mouth and you aren’t going to interfere,” he said as he seized my jaw in his tight grip. “Understood?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
He smirked and pushed me back, crawling up the length of me until he had me pinned to the bed; my arms up over my head with my legs wrapped around his waist while he was grinding against me and kissing the hollow of my throat. I could feel his cock sliding along my slit, teasing me, tempting me, and feeding the thrill and excitement that gripped me. I threaded our fingers together and he moaned, trailing up my neck towards my jaw and finally back to my mouth before perching himself over me.
His thumb brushed over my cheek and my eyes fluttered shut at his soothing touch. He could make time slow down with just his touch, and once he combined that with his dark eyed gaze I was practically putty in his hands.
“I have condoms if that’s what you’d prefer, I know I’ve seen your clean bill of health and you’ve seen mine, but I didn’t want to assume anything…”
“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “Really, it’s fine, we can go without.” I had an appointment to get birth control when I got back to Sacramento, but for now I had a stock of Plan B in my luggage.
Alex laughed darkly at my instant answer and shifted above me so I could wrap my arms around him. “Good, because I don’t want anything between us.”
I smiled and raked my fingers through his hair. “Can I ask you something?”
“Right now?” he teased, kissing the corner of my mouth. “You couldn’t have asked me earlier?”
“I could have, but I just wanted to ask how many others there are. Like, do you have anyone else like this right now?”
“You’re the only woman I have pinned the bed.”
I laughed and pulled him closer to bury my face against his shoulder. I just needed him to talk to me for a minute, to just keep me from freaking out. “Are we exclusive?”
“Are we exclusive…” he mused, continuing to kiss his way back to my ear and back down my throat slowly and determinedly. “You’re my only companion, if that’s what you want to know. There’s no one else in my life that I’m with the way I’m with you.”
“Do you promise?” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Chloe,” he said sternly. “I don’t want you to take that the wrong way; I’m not your boyfriend.”
I nodded reluctantly. “You’re my sugar daddy.”
“Oh,” he said in almost a purr. “Oh, say that again.”
I grinned and opened my eyes to see him gazing down at me with a wicked look. “Daddy?”
He groaned and kissed me, grabbing a fistful of my hair in the process and holding me to his lips while his tongue found mine. His other hand moved to palm my breast and I arched my back, pressing myself into him and pleading silently for him to keep going before I lost my nerve.
Alex shifted again, just enough that his cock was no longer brushing against my clit but now pressing against my opening, so teasingly close. I tightened my hold on him and drew in a shaky breath as he pushed forward slightly.
“Alex,” I whispered frantically, digging my nails into his back. “This is— I mean you’re my—”
He froze and I broke off the second that he pulled away. “What?”
I swallowed and willed myself to hold his gaze despite the pit forming in my stomach. “This is mostly my first time—”
He groaned and said something under his breath in Greek before rolling off me onto his back. I covered my chest with my hands and stared up the ceiling, trying to magically make the last minute never have existed. Why did I say that? I could have just kept it to myself.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” he asked after a very quiet few minutes.
“I don’t know…” I mumbled. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing?”
“Well—”
“Chloe, not having sex isn’t embarrassing.”
“Okay, that was the wrong choice of words,” I snapped with a huff. “I don’t know, I’m almost nineteen, it’s hard to talk about it when everyone thinks it’s weird.”
“You didn’t have any problem with what we’ve done before,” he pointed out. “You didn’t even hesitate about it.”
“I’ve done that stuff before.”
“Stuff.” Alex snickered and rubbed his forehead. “I’m getting too fucking old for this game, Miss Chloe.”
I snorted and turned to stick my tongue out at him. “You’re like what, forty-five? I think you can keep up with my games just fine.”
“Forty-two,” he corrected. “Don’t make me any older than I need to be. You should have told me sooner, it’s clearly something that worries you.”
“It doesn’t worry me, I just, I don’t know, I thought it would be fine but now I keep thinking that you’ll want me to do something and I won’t know how…”
Alex rolled over and didn’t hesitate to pull me to his chest; I wrapped my arms around him again and threw my leg over his hip, his leg wove between mine and he tried to pull me even closer. “Why did you say ‘mostly’?”
I cringed at my own choice of words hearing it back again. “I have toys and stuff that I use, and I almost went all the way with my old boyfriend.”
Alex hummed and nuzzled my cheek, rubbing his nose so lightly that it tickled and I squirmed against him. “I don’t want you to think that you need to do this,” he told me softly. “Chloe, I don’t want you to do this with me if it’s something important to you.”
I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his thinking about Nathan when we almost had sex two years ago now.
“Stop moving,” he ordered, shifting my legs. “Damn, you’re so squirmy.”
“Nate, I don’t know…” I whispered, glancing at the door. “Let me up, I don’t want to do it anymore.” I tried to move but Nathan half fell on top of me and now I could feel his dick resting against my pussy.
He moaned and tried to push himself up. “Oh god, don’t do that—" he begged when I moved to roll out from under him. He froze and his body went ridged.
“What?” Wetness splattered against my abdomen and I shoved him hard. “Ew! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I’m sorry, you moved and I just— I don’t know, it felt really good…”
When I opened my eyes again I was almost surprised I wasn’t back in my bedroom in Sacramento. Did everyone else have the worst luck having sex, or was it just me that just couldn’t catch a break?
“Can we just pretend I never said anything?” I asked hopefully. “I don’t want this to have all been a waste.”
Alex laughed and rolled over to sit up, pulling me with him so that I was sitting in his lap. “Do you really want to do this? You’re not doing it just for me?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I want to, just don’t expect me to know how to do anything.”
He pressed his lips to the shell of my ear. “I think you know more than you’re letting on,” he whispered. “Here, sit up.”
I followed his lead until I was sitting on his lap, facing the mirrors with my back against his chest. We sat on the edge of the bed, his cock rested against my slit, coming up between my legs and looking absolutely obscene in our reflection. Alex took his time unhooking each fastening on my corset and quickly discarding it beside the bed. We were naked, like real, completely naked, nothing between us, and I was right back to shaking like a leaf. Alex always looked good without clothes on, especially his well-defined chest and torso, but I didn’t really work out anymore and I couldn’t help but spot the faint lines on my hips – stretch marks. Great. I wasn’t even twenty and I already had stretch marks.
“Can we do this somewhere else?” I pleaded with him.
“Why?” Alex asked, spreading my thighs wider apart.
“Because this is embarrassing…”
“More or less than what you already told me?”
“I don’t know, okay? On par maybe?”
He chuckled and brought his hands up to massage my breasts; brushing his fingers over my nipples again and again until they were firm peaks that he could tug on to make me moan. “I like this position,” he murmured. “I want you to watch us, to watch me while I make you feel good. Alright?”
“Alright…”
Alex continued touching me, letting his hands dip down to my pussy and back up again, leaving no part of me unloved. The room felt cold but with his pressed against me and the heat he created in my abdomen, I was more than warm enough. Slowly he started to reposition me, moving me so that I was kneeling above him with my legs on either side of his and his cock resting right against my slit. We were so close now, it was scary and exciting all in one.
“You’re in charge here,” he promised. “Right now you get to decide how we do this, however slow or fast you want.”
Ugh, why me? I wanted him to do it, to take over and take the choice with him so that I wouldn’t have to decide. But I also wanted to impress Alex, to show him that I meant what I said and that I was ready to be doing this with him.
I pushed myself up just enough that I could reposition his cock so that it nudged the entrance to my pussy. I forced myself to watch him in the mirror, my eyes locked on his obsidian gaze while I lowered myself on him. He sunk into me, forcing his way in and stretching me more than any toy in my drawers at home. The feeling of silicone, even the ones that mimicked human skin didn’t do it justice; we slid together like a puzzle with little resistance despite his size. I had to force myself down the last few inches, pushing my body to take all of him until it felt like he was in the back of my throat.
“You’re so tight,” he said with a groan. “A fucking perfect fit, isn’t it?”
It was and I nodded eagerly before trying to figure out how to move in this position. I had to admit it was more than a little awkward, but as soon as I guided Alex’s hands to my hips he was able to assist me.
We looked perfect in the mirror together as he fucked me; my arm thrown back to clutch his hair while he kissed my neck, his fingers digging into the flesh on my hips as he fucked me harder, my pink and swollen mouth parted in ecstasy – why did I wait so long for this?
“Daddy,” I whispered. It was like a mantra, a word kept repeating over and over and I wasn’t sure why. He was turning me into a babbling mess.
“Look at yourself,” he ordered. “Look at how well I fit in your cunt, baby girl. That’s mine now, do you understand me?”
There was a threat in his words that I didn’t understand but I nodded anyway. I was his, and he knew that. He could control me financially, physically, and now emotionally, because as much as I didn’t want “losing” my virginity to be emotional, I felt more connected to this man than anyone else.
“I do, Daddy.”
“Good girl,” he praised, kissing my hair. “You’re so beautiful, Chloe, I mean it.”
I closed my eyes and tipped my head back on his shoulder to look at him. With his free hand he took hold of my throat and held me there as he kissed me, exploring my mouth even as his thrusts got rougher and more demanding. There was an unfamiliar feeling building in me; it wasn’t like when he made me cum by going down on me, this was a deeper sensation that made me gasp and my back arch.
Alex chuckled and tightened his grip a fraction, making my eyes widen in surprise. “Are you going to cum for me, baby? While I’m fucking your pretty cunt?”
It was a different kind of orgasm than I’d had before but there was no doubt in my mind that that was what was happening. I cried out his name and my nails dug into his skin as it washed over me slowly in increasingly intense waves. I fucked him back, desperate for the feeling to go on and moaning loudly and shamelessly.
“Did you like that?” he teased, licking my throat. “Do it again, I’m not stopping until you do.”
I whimpered and forced myself down harder with every thrust, feeling him bottom out in my pussy and gasping each time. I could feel the tension in him growing and glancing back at us in the mirror again just confirmed my suspicions; he was close now, almost too far gone.
Suddenly Alex’s hand left my throat and found my clit, the new sensation made me jump I couldn’t deny how good it felt.
“Like that,” I begged. “Play with my clit, Daddy, make me cum again.”
Alex moaned and rubbed my clit harder causing my hips to buck against his hand. Before I knew it the world was coming apart at the seams and I was struggling not to scream as I came. He buried his face in my shoulder, muffling his grunts as his cock twitched inside me. Time stood still as he pulled me back with him on the bed, keeping me tight against him chest and pulling the blankets over us. I felt dazed but satisfied in a new way that made me want to sleep and never leave this bed again.
I stared at the ceiling just trying to parse out what exactly the mixed emotions in me were trying to say. I knew there were still parts of me that wished it wasn’t the man paying me that was my first, but at the same time I didn’t think anyone else would have treated me as well as he did.
***
“And do you, Chloe Jamieson, take this man to be your wedded husband?”
I glanced down at the rings on my finger and my eyes started to water. We made it here after two years apart, what could we have to lose now? “I do.”