Chapter Eleven
Lisa
Christmas morning, I watch the parades on television for a little while and then take Barry for a run. We usually walk in the morning, but today I opt for something different so that I don’t sit and dwell on the fact that I’m alone. The streets of Orlando are deserted when I start. By the end of my run though, there are families down by the park helping little kids on brand new bikes and kids in their driveways bouncing balls or chasing each other. I smile as I think of the future and the fact that I will be doing the same thing with my child in a few years’ time.
As I round the corner to my house I notice someone sitting on my porch steps, head down, elbows on knees, with a suitcase parked next to the front door. He’s wearing blue jeans, a red polo shirt, and brown cowboy boots. He lifts his head at the sound of my tennis shoes hitting the pavement and I stop dead in my tracks as my smile collapses. Barry doesn’t anticipate the unexpected stop and gets jerked back by the leash when he keeps going.
It’s Garrett. You could have knocked me over with a feather.
Barry is pulling on the leash, but I’m stuck in the cement of my own shock. Excited about company on our porch, Barry keeps pulling until the force propels me forward. It’s a good thing I don’t think of him as my guard dog. The only thing he’d do to an intruder is lick them to death.
“Lisa.” My name comes out pained, like it’s a struggle.
“Garrett? What are you doing here?” My tone is questioning and a little bit hostile. It’s possible I’m not quite over seeing him with the supermodel woman in Miami.
“I had to see you. My brother called after he saw you at the mall and said it was important that I call you. He wouldn’t say why. I was having a hard time getting you out of my head anyway so I figured it was a sign.”
I move up to the porch and sit on the step near him, just not too close. I’m cursing myself for making that morning run. I’m sweaty, sticky, smelly, and in my freaking workout clothes. A woman never wants to see her ex while she looks like this. That’s even more important if he’s used to seeing models in bikinis and ball gowns. I’m not showing enough for anyone to guess that I’m pregnant, but I am filling out more than before. My boobs are fuller, as are my hips. My running clothes give that away.
I don’t respond to his comment, instead I ask, “How did you find me?”
“Internet web search. Took a little bit, but I got it. If I couldn’t find it I was going to get the phone number from Tommy.”
I’m not sure what to say to that so I stand up and walk to the door.
“I need a shower. You can come in if you want.”
I offer him a drink. He declines and I head for the shower.
The whole time I’m in the shower I try to understand why he’s at my house when I know he’s been with that woman in Miami and he is supposed to be in the Swiss Alps through the New Year. Once I get done, I put some product in my hair and get dressed. Then I head back out there to face him.
Barry, the big traitor, is laying across the couch with his head in Garrett’s lap while his coat is stroked, his eyes closed, tongue hanging out. His tail has a slight wag as he falls deeper into doggie bliss. He’s the poster puppy for happiness.
I sit down in the recliner next to the couch and survey the situation. The man who broke my heart is sitting on my couch looking a little disheveled, a lot tired, but content to be rubbing my dog’s head.
“Why are you here, Garrett?” Irritation and sadness coat my words.
“I was having a hard enough time without you and then Tommy called saying he saw you. I couldn’t stand it. I had to come back. I had to see you.”
“Garrett, I can take a lot of things, but lying isn’t one of them. Don’t you think I got enough of that with my husband?”
“What are you talking about? Of course, I’m telling the truth. I’ve been a mess since the morning I left you in Crystal River.”
“You’re lying Garrett.” I’m losing control of my anger as I growl out the words. I’m sure my face is red and if someone checked my blood pressure it would now be through the roof.
“Why would you say that? I don’t understand.” It’s obvious he’s confused.
I lean forward with my elbows on my knees never breaking eye contact. “Because I saw you, Garrett. I saw you. In Miami. If you missed me you wouldn’t have been with someone else,” I grind out through clenched teeth.
“What are you talking about?”
“Beautiful, brunette, long navy and silver evening gown. You, in a tux. The Ritz Carlton, Miami Beach. Any of that ring a bell?” My voice is dripping with sarcasm.
In an instant his face pales and he looks down at the floor. “If you were there, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was less than five feet from you and you were so damn preoccupied with her that you didn’t notice me. Less. Than. Five. Feet. Do I look stupid enough to break up that little romantic encounter?” The tears are building as my vision blurs, my nose is burning, and my heart is racing. My hormones are out of control and swinging like monkeys on vines.
“Shit.” He shakes his head. He can’t meet my eyes he just looks at the floor.
“Why are you really here, Garrett? Don’t you think you did enough damage when you left me at your parents’ house without a goodbye?” A tear slips down my face and I wipe it away, hoping he doesn’t see it.
“I only saw the woman from the Ritz, Lana, once since I saw you in September. That was the night you saw me. She was a model on one of my shoots a few years ago. I’ve seen her from time to time over the years so I thought it would be okay. I was lonely and she needed a date to a charity gala. I’m sorry you had to see that. I didn’t sleep with her though. I couldn’t. I got all the way to her room and knew it was wrong, so I left.”
“Why. Are. You. Here?” I yell as I jump up out of my chair. I’m losing my cool fast. Barry raises his head away from Garrett to look at me.
Garrett stands and crosses the room, grabbing my shoulders, stepping into my space, panic etched onto his face. “I’m here because I love you. I’ve never loved a woman in my life besides my mother and sister until you. I wasn’t even certain that’s what it was. Even kissing Lana felt wrong. I’m serious. I love you, Lisa. I’m sorry for running away from you, for leaving without saying goodbye. I panicked.”
He takes a deep breath and quietly says, “I’m all in with you. I screwed up. I know I did, but I’m serious. I want to be with you. I called and cancelled my lease in Miami. I have a company packing my stuff up after the holidays and I’m moving here, to Orlando. I want you back. I want you to be with me, always. I love you. I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m praying you’ll still give me chance.”
“Who else have you been with since you were with me?” Jealousy is still simmering below the surface as I picture him with Lana. My face feels hot and my hands clenched in anger are shaking so much I’m sure he will soon notice.
“No one, I swear. I couldn’t do it. You’re under my skin. Somehow in less than a week you became a part of my soul. I need you, Lisa. I’m just praying I’m not too late. Are you with someone else?” His eyes are pained and pleading.
I can feel my strength crumbling. The tears I’ve been holding back start to fall. He steps even closer so our bodies touch, his lips hover over mine. His breath is soft and warm on my face. His cologne, spicy in my nose.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m sorry for everything. I love you. Please give me another chance,” he pleads.
I look up into his imploring emerald eyes and this time he whispers, “I love you. I want you. I need you. Only you, always.”
I close the distance between us and throw my arms around his neck. So much for being tough. I lasted all of about ten minutes before I crumbled. Passion that’s been dormant for months flares to life in an instant and I find myself trying to climb him like a tree. Barry gets the hint and scrambles out of the room to hide in one of the other rooms.
Our lips are fierce and hungry, feasting off of each other. His hands drop to my behind and squeeze the flesh there. A whimper escapes my throat as he turns and pushes my back against the wall, grinding his hips into mine. His lips are hot and wet as they suck on my earlobe and the sensitive spot right behind my ear. God, I love when he hits that spot.
I grind and roll my hips as I direct him, “Straight down the hall, last door on the right. Go!”
He doesn’t hesitate. He sucks the skin at the base of my throat hard, leaving a mark I’m certain. Then he grips my backside harder, and carries me down the hall, depositing me on the bed with a thump. I scuttle back to the middle and he crawls across, on top of me. He tugs my shirt over my head and unclasps my bra tossing it across the room. With one fast yank, he pulls my yoga pants and panties off and settles his head between my legs. He kisses the soft, velvety skin of my inner thighs as I wiggle with impatience, praying he will quickly get to where I need him the most. I squirm and pant in desperation.
“Hush, just watch me,” he grumbles. I can tell he’s changing the pace from fast and eager to slow and easy. My heart continues to gallop at a clipped pace as I prop myself up on my elbows and watch as he swipes at my sleek center with his skilled tongue, his goatee abrading the sensitive skin as he moves. He’s hitting every spot along my crease except the one I need. The little bundle of nerves he’s avoiding is pulsing and my thighs are shaking with the unreleased tension. It feels like forever since we were last together. His breath is warm and the sound of his enjoyment as he feasts on me has me standing at the edge of a canyon ready for the free fall.
I’d heard once, that pain can bring pleasure and I never understood it until he nips my clit lightly with his teeth. Instant pain is replaced just as fast by waves of consuming pleasure as I come apart at the seams, thrashing and crying out. I don’t think I’ve ever come that quickly before. My whole body bucks with the tremors of my release and my breath comes out choppy and heavy like I just finished a marathon.
He slides back off of the bed and strips off his clothing. I’m eagerly perusing his muscled thighs and long, thick cock, when his shirt goes sailing past my head landing near my nightstand. God I’ve missed that chest, those abs, and his sexy, broad shoulders
Before he moves back over me, he devours my naked body from head to toe with his eyes and says in a husky voice, “My God, I didn’t know it was possible for you to be more beautiful than before. You’ve put on a little weight and you look so damn good. Every curve sexier than the last time I saw you and I swear your breasts are fuller, more round. Sexy. As. Fuck. Spread your legs, sweetheart.”
I panic a little realizing I haven’t told him about the baby yet, but he steals my thoughts when he growls out, “Damn, I love this body.”
My mind now laser focused on him wills my thighs to part so he can slide between them. His hips roll against mine and he enters me slowly, his motion graceful, every muscle flexing with the movement. He never takes his eyes off mine and the thoughts and panic I had only a second ago are thrust away by the magic of love and pheromones.
Silence in the house is pushed aside by our heavy breathing and passionate moans as we mate. Our bodies unite, sweat slicked and overheated. He lowers his mouth to my sensitive breast taking the berried tip into his mouth with a gentle suck while flicking his tongue. My back arches and I clench him from within. A wicked grin spreads on his handsome face removing the serious expression of a moment ago. His eyes continue to watch me as he moves to the other one repeating the process with more hunger than the first time. I can’t keep eye contact, the pleasure he’s giving is too great. I squeeze my eyes shut and moan as my back bows again. His mouth releases and his teeth close gently around the beaded nipple. Our hips never stop moving in perfect synchronicity like we’ve been doing this for years.
“I love you,” he whispers right before he rolls to his back taking me with him so I’m on top. I rock my hips building our rhythm again. His hands come up to join with mine and I use them for leverage as I lift higher to come down harder. There is a sweet familiar ache growing in my core. If his thumb touches my clit or I roll my body just right I will detonate with the force of a thousand bombs, but I’m not ready. I love this feeling. The anticipation, the sensual burning that spreads slow like molasses through every muscle and then quick as a whip releases a pleasure so amazing you stop breathing for seconds at a time.
With our hands linked he straightens them over his head, pulling my body down, bringing my lips to his. Our tongues dance together with sensual twists and flicks. I catch his bottom lip between my teeth with a playful nip and then thrust my tongue back inside searching for his. He groans, releases our hands and flips us again. This time he yanks my hips onto his bent knees, bends over me and wraps his arms around my shoulders while he hammers into me harder than I’ve ever had before, the strength of his hips unmatched.
He’s holding me in place to assure that I take everything he has to give. I’m moaning and whimpering as the sweet sensation spreads further, just waiting for the split second when my body lets go. The sound of our skin slapping, groans, grunts and whimpers of passion reverberate off the walls of my room. I’m lost in Garrett and I never want to be found. As I feel our souls connect I close my eyes and hold on tight as our bodies explode together. Nothing else exists in this moment except Garrett and me.
The feel of his sweat covered skin and his muscled weight on mine, the sound of his breath next to my ear as it settles, and the musky smell of sex that covers us both has me living in a moment of beautiful euphoria. He doesn’t pull out of me, doesn’t move off of me. He just stays with me, inside of me, and there is no place I’d rather him be.
I whisper, “I love you, too, Garrett. I knew it when we were sitting on your parent’s couch watching television that night. I probably even knew it before we left to go to Crystal River.”
He moves his face from my neck and places a tender kiss to my lips.
I continue, “I’m scared though. How do I trust there will be no more Lana’s? Matt spent a lot of years cheating on me while he traveled and I never knew. I trusted him. I can’t go back to being that naive. I can’t go back to being that weak, overly trusting person again. And after seeing the way you looked at Lana it will always sit in the back of my mind. That smile you gave her crushed me.”
He places his hands on both sides of my head, holding it in place. His eyes burn a hole right through me as he says, “Look at me, sweetheart. Lana means nothing. Turns out she’s nothing more than an old friend, more of an acquaintance if I’m being honest. I knew when I left you in Crystal River that I couldn’t be who you needed me to be. If I had any doubt about my commitment to you now, I’d never have come here today. I know what you’ve been through. I held you when you cried after you got confirmation of his baby. I’d never do anything to put you in that position again. I will do everything I can to make sure you know what I’m doing and whom I’m doing it with when I’m off working in a different location. I promise. If the day comes that I can’t be faithful anymore I’ll end it before I cheat on you. But, I have to be honest; I just can’t see that happening, ever. I couldn’t even do it when we weren’t together. It just felt wrong. I was serious when I said I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“There will always be a Lana that wants you. How you turned her down I don’t know. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. It will be hard when they make it easy for you to have them.”
“She might be the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, but you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t hold a candle to you. You’ll have to learn to trust me, but I will do all I can to make that trust come easy. I thought about it all the way here. I won’t take any more assignments out of the country unless it’s somewhere you want to go and you can take vacation to go with me. I’ll try to take local assignments or ones that only require a minimum amount of time away, like a couple of days. I’ll do whatever you need or want me to do to make this work. I cannot live without you.”
“I don’t want to ruin your career because I’m insecure. That’s not fair,” I tell him.
“I have enough money to last a very long time. I’ve taken jobs all over the world for the last ten years, all expenses paid. I had an apartment in Miami, a truck that was paid off a few years ago and no other expenses. I can afford to cut back for a long time. As for ruining my career? That’s not going to happen. As long as I continue to produce with the jobs I do accept, it will be okay. But even if it didn’t work out I could always open a studio here in town and not travel at all.”
“I’d never ask you to do that.”
“You don’t have to, you are worth it.”
“Garrett, there is something you need to know. I don’t know how you’re going to take it. I was planning on finding you when you got back from Europe.” I take a deep breath and let it out, terrified he will run. I want to move out from underneath him. Scoot away and cover up before I utter words that will forever change things. So far this has been too good to be true, more than I ever expected from him.
He must sense that this is going to be a doozy because he rolls off to my side and props his head in his hand. His smoldering green eyes watching me intently.
Then he adjusts the covers up over us, drapes an arm over my hip and says, “Okay, go for it. Whatever it is, just tell me.” He appears to be calm, not worried in the least about the news I’m about to share.
The nervousness I’m feeling inside must show on my face because his brow furrows with concern. “Did you find someone else?”
“Well, not really. Not in the sense that you’re thinking.” Another deep breath in, long exhale. I clench my eyes closed and then I blurt out, “I’m pregnant, Garrett. You’re going to be a dad.”
My eyes open and I wait for his reaction. There is no sound from him. Not an intake of breath, not a word. Nothing. His eyes are locked on mine, but all expression is wiped away.
“Garrett, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I’ve been on birth control for years and have never even had a scare. I promise I didn’t plan this.” It’s almost as if I’m pleading for him to understand. Tears line my eyes, ready to spill any second. My anxiety bumping up higher and higher as the silence stretches out.
He drops to his back and runs his fingers over his scalp. Back and forth, back and forth. Stopping with the heels of his hands over his eyes he exhales, but still no words come out. He lays like this for a few minutes. I’m frightened he’s about to bolt so I don’t move a muscle, I just cautiously watch him process this information.
It’s odd but his first question is, “Does Tommy know?”
“Yes, he caught me in the baby section at Macy’s. He knew right away. He was pissed I hadn’t told you yet. I’d only known three weeks at that point. I’d been planning to find you when I was in Miami, but when I saw you with Lana I knew I couldn’t handle it if she answered your door in the morning. It would have killed me. I planned to contact you after the New Year when you got back.”
“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”
“I’m sure he wanted to, but I begged him to let me tell you. I felt like the information should come from me. I hadn’t even seen the doctor yet when I saw Tommy that day.”
“Damn, that’s a pretty big piece of information. Give me a little bit to absorb it, okay?”
I scoot away, seeking escape. I don’t know if I can wait for him to decide if this is good or bad news. Ten minutes ago, I had everything I’ve ever wanted and now I’m not so sure that’s how this will play out. He reaches out and grabs my arm before I get to the edge of the bed.
“I didn’t say I wanted to absorb alone. Come here. It’s been too long since I’ve held you.”
Wait. What? Did he really just say that?
As if he’s reading my mind he gives my arm a little tug and I allow the tears to roll down my face as I crawl back to him. I lay my head on his chest and hike a leg over his. He wraps both arms around me and holds me close. His heart is loud, thumping at a frantic pace in my ear as I snuggle him quietly. I have to lift my head a few times to wipe tears away, but I return to the same position every time.
“We’re really going to have a baby?” His voice is deep, but quiet.
“Yeah, my due date is June 21st. Are you mad?”
“No, not at all. Just…shocked, I guess. I never thought I’d be a dad. I know every single inch of your body, probably better than I know my own. I just figured you’ve been eating more. I should have known.” Realization dawns on him and his eyes widen as his panic sets in. “Oh shit, did I hurt you? Did I hurt the baby? I should have been more careful.”
“I’m fine. The baby’s fine. All the information says that lovemaking is okay. Don’t worry.”
“I don’t know anything about babies or kids. I don’t know how good I’ll do at being a dad.” He’s scared and he doesn’t need to be.
“Garrett, stop. All you have to do is be here and love us. We can figure out the rest as we go. Are you really staying? Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“Yes, I wouldn’t leave you now for anything. I love you. I’m fearful and a little excited at the same time, but there is no way I’m leaving you.”
I stay quiet a little longer until he asks, “Do you have to work tomorrow?”
“No, Nancy gave us tomorrow off. I’m not due back to the office until Monday. Why?”
“Let’s load up Barry and go to my parent’s house. I think this is news we should share in person.” He searches my eyes waiting for my response.
“You really want to? You’re really okay with this?”
“I’m more than okay, sweetheart. I’m in love with a woman who’s going to have my baby. This may be the best Christmas ever.”
His movement is sudden as he leaps out of bed and starts tugging on clothes, an excited energy swirling around him. I haven’t moved. I’m too stunned by the turn of events to respond so he gives me a gentle poke in the ribs as a ghost of a smile appears on his face.
“Come on, let’s go tell everyone.”
Before I can even get dressed he places a kiss on me so deep that I almost forget my name and in this moment I know I’ve just been given everything I’ve ever wanted, but never had.