Proserpina
He did not turn up after that.
I waited, for a week, then another week.
But the memory of how he had treated me held me back. Lucien did not like me calling him up either; in fact, he had expressly forbidden me to do so. He had told me that if I needed to contact him, it was only through the man who was stationed at the house I lived in. That was the main reason for the presence of the bodyguard, he had said.
I realized that I had been so very obedient and completely trusting, I did not even have a contact number to call him directly at. Loathe to ask the new man who had introduced himself as Perry White, about Lucien's whereabouts, I went about my routine of attending classes and coming home as usual.
But when I was alone in the house, with Ana clattering about in the kitchen, preparing dinner before she left, I would sit on the bed, my books around me. Staring unseeingly out through the window, I began to see the situation for what it was, a fairy tale in my eyes - that was all it had ever been.
Lucien had used my body to satisfy himself.
While I, poor fool, had fallen in love with him...
***
They say that troubles don't come in singles. I soon discovered the truth of that saying.
To add to my fears and anxiety, I became aware that my body was reacting strangely. It struck me that, weighed down by my stress, I hadn't noticed that I had missed my monthly period. In dawning horror, I saw that it was far too late to be dismissed lightly.
To make matters worse, when I was affected by a stomach bug a few months ago, I stopped taking the pill. And somehow, I had never bothered to get back on it.
Now I thought back to the day when, at the start of our physical relationship, Lucien had told me in no uncertain terms, that he expected me to be on the pill. He was not prepared to deal with an unwanted pregnancy, as he had stated in a cool, matter-of-fact way. Blinded as I was by my love for him, I had agreed to his statement.
Now perched on the gleaming porcelain bathtub in the large, luxurious bathroom, holding the tiny stick in my hands, I stared at the positive result with a growing feeling of panic. The evidence that proved that I was well and truly pregnant.
With a sinking heart, I guessed that sometime during our heavy bouts of lovemaking, Lucien had impregnated me.
The tenderness in my breasts, which I had put down to Lucien's roughness; the feeling of nausea when faced with some of the food prepared by the surly woman downstairs that had had me refuse to eat on the pretext of wanting to get to university on time; how could I have been so unaware of my own body? The heightened sense of smell when Lucien had approached, his clothes reeking of expensive whiskey...
And hot on the heels of that realization came a thought that made my stomach clench in fear: how would Lucien react???
He had not come to me, had not contacted me ever since that disastrous night when he had taken me out for dinner.
Wringing my sweaty palms, I groaned, dreading the thought of telling him that he was going to be a father. I knew, with my heart sinking, how he would react. At the start of our affair, he had instructed me to visit a clinic where the doctor had examined me coldly, clinically, an older woman who had ignored my cheerful expression and merely said, 'Take these pills to avoid a pregnancy.'
Looking back, I recalled how she had been very familiar with the bodyguard who had escorted me.
Was it because it was a regular happening?
Lucien probably sent all his mistresses there, I thought, realization dawning on me belatedly, my lips twisting bitterly.
Straightening my shoulders, I bit my bottom lip as I pondered.
There was no way I was going to get rid of my child.
This child growing in my womb was a result of my love for the much older man I still adored; I was going to keep the baby.
But, said the voice in my head, what about Lucien Delano?
***
A few days later, when I was on my way to the Library, I ran into Tanya.
Although I had been avoiding her all these days, the sight of the leggy blonde looking my way reproachfully as she made to stride past me, stopped me in my tracks.
I had been running away from her and Rachel so frequently, it was no wonder she looked hurt and offended when she saw me. But my loneliness and a strange sense of vulnerability overcame me and I desperately wanted a friend who knew me-the old me, not the Mafia Don's plaything.
"Tanya!" I called shakily, sending up a silent prayer as she turned, her blonde hair bobbing in surprise.
regnancyI trotted up to her. Being naturally curvy, I knew that my p was not visible; besides, the baby bump had not begun to show yet.
Biting my lip, I said forlornly,
"Í...I miss being with both of you...'
She scowled down at me but I knew my sunny-tempered friend, who could not hold a grudge against anyone and soon, we were in the café outside the university.
My keeper, as I thought of the new bodyguard Perry White with his keen eyes, observing my every movement, was not expected for another hour and a half. I had expected to be reading up in the library till then.
After an awkward start, we were back to gossiping and giggling.
She wanted to fill me in on the details of her love life; Jazz was out, and Dennis was in, she gushed merrily. Having never met Dennis, she gave me a blow-by-blow account of where she had met him, what she liked about him, and on and on. Soon Rachel joined us and I texted White to tell him that I would be taking another hour to study.
The girls exchanged looks at my nervousness while I sent the message, but they maintained a discreet silence.
Rachel had a lot to add, the parties they had attended, gossip to relate, the latest fashion in shoes to discuss... She had also come out about her sexual preferences, she said and I whooped in joy.
It was Tanya who finally acknowledged the elephant in the room.
During a lull in the conversation, she asked hesitantly, toying with her coffee mug.
'Umm..so how's Harding's...I mean ..Lucien Delano?"
I smiled tremulously, Just thinking of him made me color.
"He's wonderful.' I whispered, and before I could stop myself, I confessed,
" I love him."
The silence that followed was loud enough to hear. It was the first time I had openly announced it to myself or anyone else.
The adoration in my voice startled me as well, and the shocked looks on the faces of the girls who were my best, closest friends, made me flush in embarrassment.
I realized that I loved him passionately, I actually loved him with every pore in my body, in spite of how he regarded me, in spite of how he treated me...
Rachel looked at me, wide-eyed and distressed, while Tanya sat, her pretty mouth agape.
I laughed and reaching out to punch her arm gently, I said,
'Don't worry, he loves me too!" I know that! "
Throwing back her head, Rachel squared her shoulders and snapped,
"Are you serious?"
I laughed confidently, but a cold finger seemed to touch me.
As I opened my mouth to argue, Tanya gently pushed her phone toward me.
The screen was opened to an online gossip rag that followed the rich and the wealthy. The page she was indicating carried a news item with accompanying grainy photographs. It was a day old.
"Then why is Lucien Delano, lover extraordinaire, getting engaged to an heiress from L.A?" she hissed in anger, her eyes flashing