"Asheng, who are you?"
She plopped down on the damp grass next to me, both of us under the shade of an old acacia tree. I rested my head on the rough bark and closed my eyes, beaming at the sun.
"You play chess, know how to ride a horse and can hold a conversation even with people you've just met. Woman! Who are you and what kind of magic do you possess?"
Both Marengo and Butch are tied to the pili tree next to us and they seemed to be watching us with great interest. Marengo bowed down and started grazing, while Buchephalus seemed to be looking at us intelligently, probably sensing the tension in me, the excitement, the glee.
The villa is far behind us now and in front stretched a vast land that is blanketed by massive trees with thicker leaves and more stiff branches. In the middle was a winding path that led to a small secluded falls. I could hear no voices apart from ours and it felt amazing.
Asheng shrugged, looking casual. "Hindi ko rin alam kung sino ako, Vane. But what I do know is that I'm a loving daughter to loving parents, a good example to my younger siblings, a thoughtful twin sister, and above all, a believer."
A twin, how interesting. I wish I had one. I wish I get to meet her twin.
"A believer of what?"
"Of many things. Of life, kindness, and love."
"One day, I'd like to believe in those things as strongly as you believe in them." Nilingon ko siya at nakita kong nakangiti siya sa kawalan. She looked... cute. "You make everything sound so convincing. I feel like if you tell me you're an heiress or that you're an alien or that you're one of the richest women in the country, I would believe you right away. No questions asked."
The smile completely melted off her face. I didn't know if there was anything wrong with what I said. I knew I was probably overthinking it, but right now, I felt a different energy coming off of her.
"Asheng?" pukaw ko. Lumingon siya sa akin, deretso ang mukha, seryoso, bago nagsalita.
"But... I really am an heiress," pabulong niyang sagot. "Does that change anything?"
I looked her in the eyes and measured her stare. Her lips started quivering slightly, as if she was having a hard time suppressing a big smile. And then all of a sudden, the two of us burst out laughing. I realized that she was making a fun of me and she enjoyed it. We laughed as if being crazy rich is a good joke. In our world, where there is only the two of us, it is.
Her laughter was not that loud, but genuine — and only she can laugh like that, with pure innocent amusement and so much delight, that it's filling me with a sense of happiness that I can't quite explain.
"Yeah right," sabi ko. I almost fell for it! "Ano ka, Monteverde?" kantyaw ko.
Napatigil siya sa pagtawa. "Ano'ng... Ano'ng sinabi mo?"
"Oh, sorry!" Tumatawa pa rin ako. "That's an inside joke my friends Maverick, Harvey, and I have had since we were young. It was summerbreak in highschool and we saw this guy in an interview on TV and his name is Aaron Monteverde. Apparently, he owns a huge corporation operating not just in the Philippines, take note, but also in the US. Plus! He has successfully penetrated the Asian market as well." Sumandal muli si Asheng sa puno at pigil ang ngiting nagpatuloy lang sa pakikinig. "He was dubbed that year as the richest man in the country. So, ever since, naging asaran na namin nila Harvey ang pagiging Monteverde. I look up to him. Someone that successful must be crazy innovative."
"Yes," she agreed. "Though I still think that people who lead simple lives are the real winners."
"So, are you trying to say that because the Monteverdes are rich as hell, they are..." I let my sentence hang intentionally.
"Losers!" We shouted in unison. Marengo and Butch stomped their feet and whinnied, startled by the sound of our laughter. But I didn't care and Asheng didn't care. We were busy being silly. We were busy having fun and entertaining ourselves.
"Sabi mo may kakambal ka?" I asked when our laughter mellowed. "What's your twin like and why isn't she with you?"
"He's a he." She stretched her legs. "Naiwan siya sa Manila, nagtatrabaho. He's kind of a workaholic, you know? Niyaya ko siyang sumama, but he couldn't leave because of work, so I decided to go alone this time."
"Hindi ba siya pinayagan ng boss niya?"
"You could say that."
"He has an awful boss, then."
The corners of her mouth quirked at the corners. "How about you? May mga kapatid ka ba?"
"Wala," I responded. "There's just me. Noong bata ako, I wanted to have a little brother, pero hindi nangyari. You have a big family, 'di ba? What's it like?"
"It can be chaotic at times, but definitely fun. Kaming magkakapatid, we are all different versions of our parents. My twin is mostly serious and reserved. I have another brother, and he usually keeps to himself. He likes reading books and... studying. He's the brainiac in the family. The youngest is a girl. She's bold and very straightforward. Mahirap man ma-imagine, but we all go so well together." I did try to picture her family. I have no doubt that her parents are amazing, whoever they are, because they managed to raise and hone her into the kind and beautiful individual that she is now.
"Growing up, I've always just had Harvey and Maverick. Kumbaga sila na ang mga itinuturing kong kapatid. They used to visit me in Spain before and the three of us have managed to keep in touch through the years."
"Ako, I've never really had a bestfriend," ika niya. "Probably because I grew up close to my parents and siblings and I always looked forward to bonding with them. I have friends who are dear to me, but my parents also taught us to be independent."
Seeing Asheng happily telling me about her siblings and fanily makes me want to re-evaluate my choices in life. Abuela was right. I wasn't like the others who would throw away everything — including my career — for happiness, for love. But the mere tenderness in Asheng's voice makes me feel like marrying Kate will be the biggest mistake I have yet to make.
I used to dream of having a big family when I get married. A loving wife, three or more kids, and pets. As I aged, I slowly realized that happiness in commitment is hard to find. There are a lot of factors affecting romantic relationships and there are a lot of factors affecting those factors. Eventually, I started thinking that it may not be for me. But for the first time ever, I am doubting what I had foolishly believed in.
I faced Asheng, not sure what to say, not sure if anything needed to be said. Her face was bright, her lips twisted into a sweet smile, as she played with the grass beneath us. I inched forward, closing the gap between us, and bravely reached for her hand. She stayed silent and let me slowly lace our fingers together.
My head is in circles.
The horses brayed.
The leaves swished.
The birds started chirping merrily.
I was losing my mind, thinking about how nothing could possible ruin this wonderful moment, until something did.
I felt something hot on my shoulder and I flinched, cursing internally. Asheng felt me jerk and pulled herself away to check what happened. When she saw what was on my shoulder, she pulled her hand away and covered her mouth with it, but her laugh resonated anyway.
"Bumalik na tayo, Vane, para malinis mo na 'yan," suhestiyon niya. Nakasimangot at walang magawang tumango na lang ako.
Masama ang tinging ipinukol ko sa mga humuhuning ibon sa taas ng puno at nagpatuloy lang ang mga ito sa pagkanta na para bang natutuwa pa na nasira nila ang isang napakagandang sandali.
Asheng started walking off toward Marengo, leaving me behind, in shame, with bird droppings on my fucking shoulder.
***
"Kadiri naman 'yon. Iniputan ka ng ibon habang magkasama kayong dalawa ni Asheng, p're?" Harvey was grinning like a baffoon as he let go of his last dart. I watched it embed itself on the third section of the dartboard.
"I know. The moment was really off. Damn, I fucking hate it, man." He moved away plucked the darts out, passing them to me. I positioned myself and started absentmindedly taking my shots. Surprisingly, even preoccupied, I managed to land one dart on the smallest circle at the center.
Maverick was clucking his tongue behind us, watching us play, as he leaned across the door near the billiards table.
"Sabi siguro ng mga ibon, 'wag kang tarantado, pare. Ano namang plano mo pagkatapos ng bakasyon mo rito?"
Bumagsak ang balikat ko. The truth is I don't know.
"I'm flying to London." I slumped on the leather couch on the corner of the mansion's game room. "My plans haven't changed."
"You sure there isn't a change of heart?" Maverick tossed me a can of beer. I caught it in midair and popped the can open.
"Should there be?" I asked. But the moment those words escaped my mouth, I knew I was asking myself and not them. "She's leaving after summer, too, Mav. I'm getting married after summer. She has a life in Manila. I have a life waiting for me in London, in Madrid."
"This guy is stupid, Mav, isn't he?" Harvey was looking at me as if I'd gone crazy, and truth be told, maybe I had. "You do realize the gravity of the situation, right? What if she falls in love with you?"
"Falls in love with me?" I raised my voice. "Preposterous!"
"You're digging your grave even deeper, man." Harvey smirked. I was about to respond when the ringing of my phone got in between us. I stood up and picked it up from above the billiards table.
"Who's it?" He asked.
"For sure, si Asheng 'yan. Pupusta ko ng 5,000!" sigaw ni Maverick.
"Deal!" Harvey replied.
Well, bummer. Maverick just lost 5,000 to Harvey because of that. My phone continued to ring, and on the screen was the name of the person I least wanted to talk to. Nonetheless, I felt compelled to answer the call.
"Hi, Kate." My voice was hollow.
"Vane!" She chimed. "Oh my gosh, I love the cartier ring. It just arrived earlier. It's beautiful!"
"Oh..." Parang nagblanko ang utak ko. Sumandal ako sa hamba ng pinto at tinitigang bumunot ng limang libo ang nakasimangot na si Maverick upang ibigay ito kay Harvey. "That's... that's good. I'm glad that you like it. I hope it fits perfectly."
"It does. Thank you, Vane. By the way, may napili na ako para sa flower arrangements and sa cake flavors. I wanted to do it with you, but I realized we may be a little pressed for time, so ako na lang ang namili. I met with the wedding planner earlier today."
Pumikit ako ng mariin. In the darkness, I see Kate in a wedding gown, walking down the aisle, smiling as I waited on the altar and everything felt... wrong. My heart is sinking lower and lower inside my chest, forcing me to re-think what I thought was right for me.
"Great. I'm okay with anything you like."
"Alright. Send me a copy of your ticket to London. I'll have someone pick you up at the airport."
"No need. I've already booked a transfer service."
"I see. Sige. Let me know if you decide to come here sooner. Your Mom is driving me crazy with the arrangements, you know? She doesn't like the theme and her opinions are driving me mad."
"You know how she gets."
"Yeah. Well, I guess that's it! I just called to update you that the engagement ring is here." We said our laconic and plain goodbyes, and I dropped the call inside my pocket, feeling emptier than a hollow piñata.
Yesterday, before I drove Asheng home, we talked about the lives we are about to go back to after summer ends. She said she will miss the kids, the fresh air, and the enthusiasm of the Bicolanos. I promised her I'd do volunteer teaching for the kids, too, while I'm here. I asked about the bakery she manages and she said she checks in with the other staff every once in a while to make sure everything's okay. She also told me about how she's looking forward to doing a lot of things and rediscovering where her passions lie when she goes back to the city.
She has her entire life ahead of her.
And I'm happy that I at least get to spend this one, memorable, short-lived, summer happiness with her.