Life has given me lemons. Back then, the obvious thing to do was make lemonades. When I'm fresh out of lemons, someone suggested that I make a lemon meringue pie instead.
Asheng is the lemon meringue pie.
Before I went to Bicol, I was hell-bent on throwing away my chance at happiness for the one thing I have always dreamt of — to be the CEO of Clohessy Inc. I had been willing to give up my bachelorhood, because I thought that it was a small price to pay for success, for a sense of worth. I didn't want people to think that apart from being an actor — apart from looking good on stage and on screen — there's nothing more to Vane Jason Clohessy.
Now that I'm here, I'm starting to re-think my choices... all because Asheng texted me first.
Thank you for all the help today, Zac Epson.
I stared at the text for a few minutes, thinking how to respond, thinking if I should even be responding. An internal battle and two resigned sighs later, I started typing back. Daks Epson would sound better, don't you think?
I opened the small fridge I had in my room and popped open a can of beer. I then wrapped my nakedness in my favorite dark blue wool robe before I stepped out into my thinking space — the balcony. Sitting down on the chair, I took a quick swig of beer as I waited for her reply.
My phone lit up. I swiped up to open the message and a single hahaha stared back at me. Earlier, I finally gained the balls to personally ask for her number. It turns out that Manang Soling mistakenly switched the last two digits of her mobile number when she gave it to me yesterday.
Asheng surprised me by asking if she could have my number, too. She surprised me even more when she texted me first tonight. I wonder how many surprises Asheng has in store for me if I gather enough courage to follow where my attraction for her will lead me.
I feel like a lot of women would rather have the guy make the first move. I guess not her.
I continued to stare at the hahaha she replied with and tried to come up with a smooth response. If this is another lady I am talking with, I probably would not be this tense. Deciding I needed more help, I scrambled back inside to slip into a shirt and boxer shorts before I went to look for Marcia.
As expected, I found her sitting on a chair in the receiving area, playing a game on her phone. She told me before that our Wi-Fi is faster here than inside the staff's quarters.
"Marcia!"
"Senyorito!" Tili niya. Hawak niya ang dibdib na tila nakakita ng multo habang nanlalaki ang mga matang nakatingin sa akin. "Ano ka ba naman, Senyorito Vane! Mahihimatay ho ako n'yan sa gulat."
"Sorry na," pag-amo ko sa kanya. "Kailangan ko ng tulong mo, Marcia."
"Marcie nga ho." Nagkamot siya ng ulo. "Ano ho bang maitutulong ko?"
"Ano'ng irereply ko sa hahaha?"
Tinignan niya ako ng mataman na para bang hindi siya naniniwala na 'yon ang tulong na hinihingi ko sa kanya. Nakita kong itinigil niya muna ang nilalaro para maibagay sa akin ang buong atensyon. Tinanong niya kung nireplyan daw ba ako ng gano'n ng katext ko at nang sinabi kong oo ay sunod-sunod na iling ang ibinigay niya sa akin. "Kawawa ka naman, Senyorito."
"Bakit naman?" nagtatakang tanong ko.
"'Wag ka na magreply r'yan, Senyorito. Sinasayang mo lang ang oras mo. Kapag sinahot ka ng hahaha ay ibig sabihin hindi ka niya gusto. Nagsasayang lang ho kayo ng oras d'yan."
Bumagsak ang balikat ko. "Hindi naman yata 'yun gano'n."
"Bahala ka r'yan, Senyorito. Basta ako ho sinabi ko na sa inyo na sayang oras niyo r'yan. Ako rin kaya ganyan dati kapag 'di ko gusto ang mga nagchachat sa akin. Puro hahaha lang reply ko hanggang tigilan nila ako." Nagkibit balikat siya at bumalik na sa paglalaro. Nagpaalam na ako at pumanhik pabalik sa kuwarto. Nang mag-isa na lang ako uli ay bumuntong hininga ako.
Maybe Marcia is right... I'm just wasting my time.
I was about to delete the entire message thread when my phone lit up and started ringing. I sat there, frozen and even more confused, looking at Asheng's name on the screen.
She's calling.
She's fucking calling.
And I'm fucking smiling.
Marcia is wrong after all.
Asheng does want to talk to me.
***
ALEXIANA CALLISTO
"Gusto mo bang kurutin kita sa singit, Alexiana Callisto?" Nananakot na pinameywangan ako ni Manang Soling habang ako naman ay nagpapaawang nakatingin sa kanya. "Aba'y hindi ka na kinse anyos, hija! Galaw galaw naman d'yan."
"Nana naman, baka nag-iisip pa si Vane ng isasagot sa akin." Tila nakikiusap ang mga mata ko pero hindi niya ito pinansin. Inikutan niya ako ng mata bago kinuha sa kamay ko ang cellphone at tinignan ang usapan namin.
"Hahaha? Ano namang reply ito? Hindi ito gagana kay Vane, 'nak. Bigyan mo na lang ng pamatay na pick up line kung wala kang maisip na topic!"
"Uso pa ba 'yon?"
"Oo naman, aba! Tanungin mo si Senyorito Vane kung pwet ba siya ng baby. Kapag nagreply siya ng bakit, sabihin mo sarap kasi niyang i-kiss!"
"Nana!" Namula ang mga pisngi ko sa sinabi niya. Hinding hindi ko 'yun kayang sabihin kay Vane. Baka mawalan ako ng ulirat sa sobrang kahihiyan.
"May naisip pa akong isa!" Pumalakpak siya sa tuwa. It's the way her eyes sparkled with mischief that I knew it couldn't possibly be a good one. "Itanong mo kung kamote ba siya." Humalakhak siya ng malakas. "Kapag sinabi niyang bakit, sabihin mo... kasi Senyorito kapag nakikita kita, parang nauutot ako."
Napahilamos ako ng dalawang kamay sa mukha. "Mukhang hindi niya na ako kakausapin pagkatapos niyan!"
"At least napatawa mo siya..." Tinabihan niya ako. "Biro lang, Asheng. Basta dapat ay engaging ang usapan niyo. Kapag nagreply ka ng tawa lang ay dead end na 'yon. Gusto mo bang makausap pa ang Senyorito?"
"Opo." Nahihiyang umoo ako.
Nang makauwi ako kanina ay agad kong ikinuwento kay Manang ang nangyari dahil hindi ko mapigilan ang kilig. Siya rin ay tila kinikilig na kinunsinti pa akong magbigay ng motibo. Excited na raw siyang isipan ng pangalan ang mga anak namin. Gusto niya raw ay pangalan ng mga sikat na brand tulad ng Versace, Chanel, at kung ano ano pa. Nang sinabi ko sa kanyang masyado siyang advance mag-isip ay tinaasan niya ako ng kilay at sinabihang kailangan ko na raw matuto at galingan sa pakikipag-flirt.
"'Yun naman pala. Kung gusto mo siyang makausap ay ano pa ang pinagtutumpik-tumpik mo. Tawagan natin! Talo ka na ng mga high-school ngayon, Asheng, jusko! Sila nga ay magkatext pa lang ng isang linggo ay nagmamahalan na."
"Manang!" Parang umakyat lahat ng dugo ko sa ulo sa sinabi niya. Bago ko pa makuha pabalik ang cellphone ay nakita kong natawagan niya na ito.
"Nakakahiya!" I wailed as I buried my face on the pillow. "What will I say?" Manang laughed, obviously very pleased with herself, as she put the call on loudspeaker. Every time it rings, I cross my fingers and hope he does not pick up.
"Hello?" My body went rigid when I heard Vane's baritone voice. Manang grinned silently before she passed me back my phone and waited for me to respond.
"Asheng, hello?" Manang glowered as I continued to stare at my phone stupidly.
"Can you hear me?" Vane asked again, waiting. I took a series of deep breaths before I responded with a soft, shaky hello. I just hope he couldn't tell from the sound of my voice alone that I am nervous to be speaking on the phone with him. It's not that I don't want to talk to him... it's that I do.
"Your voice sounds different on a phone call," he commented.
"Does it sound weird?"
"It doesn't, but... I kind of like hearing it in person."
"Oh..." I laughed nervously. "Uhm..."
"I had fun coming with you to the market earlier kahit na napagkamalan akong si Zac Efron," kaswal na pagsalo niya. "I hope I get to go with you again next time."
"Hindi ka bothered sa putikan?" Nakangiti nang tanong ko. Tumingin ako kay Manang na nakaupo sa vanity area ko sa gilid. Kinindatan niya ako bago kumuha ng pentel at papel sa gilid at nagsimulang magsulat.
"Not at all. Sa farm sa likod ng Villa ay maputik din. We grow barnyard animals and when I was younger, my feet would always be buried in muck. Galit na galit ang abuela kapag papasok ako sa mansion na hindi naghugas ng paa sa labas."
"Wow. Ano'ng uri ng mga hayop ang nandoon? I've never been to a farm before." Natutuwa ako na hindi siya masyadong maselan. Noong una ay nag-aalala ako na baka magreklamo siya kapag pumunta na kami sa wet market. I remember bringing my twin brother there once and when we got out, he gave a generous amount of complaints that lasted an hour.
"We've got cows, pigs, hens, geese, turkeys... and my favorite, horses. Do you do horseback riding?"
I was silent for a short while. I didn't know how to answer because I do know. I want to say I don't, but I also don't want to lie.
Going with him will raise questions about my family, my reputation, who I really am. Right now, I'm too happy living this life as Asheng. Looking back, I've almost forgotten that I'm Alexiana Callisto Monteverde. I don't want Vane asking where I learned horseback riding, because it was a sport my twin brother and I dearly enjoyed.
His voice developed a different tone. "Kung gusto mo, puwede kitang turuan! My horse's name is Bucephalus, you know?"
"Bucephalus..." My twin brother, Alexander, is always the one good with world history, but I do remember why the name Bucephalus is familiar. "'Di ba 'yun 'yung war horse ni Alexander the Great?"
"Yes! Wow...." Vane sounded amazed. "I just call him Butch because Bucephalus is a mouthful."
"It's a good name."
"He's a good boy," he paused. "Would you want to go horseback riding with me? I swear I'll be a patient mentor."
My heart started racing inside my chest. I really do want to go. I felt the guilt inside my chest. Right now, it felt improper to hide my entire identity. I looked at Manang and she looked back expectantly. She placed the cap back on the marker and raised the paper, letting me see what she wrote, in her shaky handwriting.
I almost choked. It said...
Si Jose Rizal ay nasa piso, ikaw ay nasa puso ko.
Manang giggled and taped the entire thing on the wall in front of me. No doubt that she got this on google. Minsan talaga masama ang dulot ng social media sa matatanda. My cheeks were burning again and I averted my gaze to prevent myself from the distraction.
"Asheng? Are you still there?"
"Yes... uhm, I would love to. Kailan ba?"
"On Friday, if you're available?"
Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Pinilit ko itong hindi pansinin pero tila nakakabingi ang bawat tibok, bawat tunong. What is Vane doing to me?
"Sige. Okay lang naman sa Friday."
"I'm excited." I can hear it in his tone. "And another thing. Gusto sana kitang imbitahin."
I pulled a pillow closer and hugged in with one arm. "Saan?"
"There's a surprise party for me next week. I would love for you to come. I'd like to see a familiar face. For sure ay mga amiga at business partners ng abuela ang nandoon."
Natigilan ako. I don't like big gatherings. "Pero..."
"Please?"
"Wala akong isusuot tapos..."
"I'll take care of it!"
"You don't have to, Vane."
"I know, but I really want to. It's going to be a boring welcome party with people I don't know, people I'm not close with, people who will pretend they've known me their entire lives... sige na, Asheng."
"Pag-iisipan ko."
"Fair enough." I could feel myself smiling slowly. "It will mean a lot to me."
I lay down and let the mattress cushion me. There's a ringing on my ears. Vane does not know... pero 'yung kilig ko ngayon, parang Ang Probinsyano. Walang katapusan.