Lucas’s POV
“Can you believe this dad? Because I certainly still can’t” I said in my usual sarcastic tone that I’m sure my family is used to by now.
You see, they consider me to be the crazy, impulsive, funny one out of the whole family; although not so many of them actually consider me funny at all, but that’s what I consider fun to be like. I’ve never had a problem with my character before now. I was crazy and a little unbalanced and I loved myself that way, accepted that side of me that longs for a dangerous life and a dangerous game. I don’t care what that danger might bring for me, I don’t even care if it kills me in the process. I’m quite okay with dying unlike other people who are even scared of the thought of it.
I’ve never had a problem accepting myself just the way I am before…. until now.
You see my craziness was always contained and managed by someone else. When things went too far on my end, there is always someone who can stop me from going overboard. First it was my father, the former leader of the Snow clan and the one responsible for everyone’s safety in our town ‘Snow’. That man was a Saint. Even though many people who don’t know him very closely and who are usually at the receiving end of his wrath say he’s quite heartless and a monster. But anyone who actually knew him inside and out can tell what a kind hearted man he was. He was my greatest joy in life along with my mother and siblings of course. But he held a special place in my heart. He was always the one to berate me very harshly when I do something wrong, but he was also the one to console me after and laugh with me at whatever stupid move I had pulled back then. He was the one who got me the most. The one who convinced me to embrace myself just the way I am as long as I stay alive.
That man was easily my closest friend in this town, in this whole world. He was even closer to me than my own siblings.
That was until he was killed right in front of me eyes two months ago.
You’d think I’ve gone officially nuts since I just asked him a question as if he could answer me, and maybe I have.
I was sitting on the grass, staring at my father’s tombstone, pretending to have a conversation with him like old times. Because if I didn’t do this, I’d probably go on a killing spree or fuck some random girl six ways to sunday just to manage that urge to go in full crazy mode. I’ve never had any reasons to pace myself or put a limit to doing whatever the hell I wanted, consequences be fucking damned because I didn’t have a care in the world about what those consequences might lead to. But now, I was forced to curb my personality a little and stay in control of my actions and I think that in itself was going to drive me even crazier one day until I snap and unleash my bottled up urges on the wrong people.
It’s been two freaking months since my life was turned upside down but it feels like it has been two years! Two months since I felt like I was thrown in hell and I can’t seem to find the exit door, and after what happened one month after we lost dad, I started believing that my hell is eternal, with no exit door.
My eyes went over to another two tombstones next to my old man’s.
‘Alex Snow’
‘Jennifer Snow’
My oldest brother and my sister in law.
They were officially dead exactly one month after my father’s murder.
Alex became the leader after my father handed the position over to him instead of his own brother, Stefan. In a way, I suspected that dad had a feeling that Stefan was a back stabbing asshole who doesn’t care about the people of this town more than he cared about money, regardless of what he had to do to collect it. But what I will never understand is, how did my father allow him to cross the line and plan to kill him without a shred of remorse or loyalty to his family, and without my father putting an end to him before he went too far.
I had no problems with Alex becoming the leader of the clan. I didn’t feel any sort of jealousy or doubt his ability to lead the clan the way my father used to lead it. Alex was an exact replica of my father, which was why he was the best man for the job. Probably even the only man for the job. I was quite content with him leading because that still meant that I can remain true to myself and there will still be someone who can stop me when I let things escalate so far. Who can make a decision fully knowing that it is the best decision for the town.
I used to believe that wholeheartedly, until he made the stupidest decision in his entire life, making me curse him from that moment he made his decision known to me and probably until the day he comes back again.
But now you would argue with me and say that the dead don’t ever come back Lucas! You have obviously gone crazy now bro!
Wrong.
I’m not crazy, at least no yet, but hoping for it soon to be true because I don’t think I can stay sane for much longer.
My stupid big brother wasn’t really dead. It was all a ruse to fool Damian Zade into believing that his evil schemes have worked out in his favor and that he managed to kill yet another leader, along with the leader’s wife this time.
Jenny, My sister in law and the one I hated for a long time until I discovered how fucking screwed up her whole life has been, in addition to the horrible way she was forced to marry my brother to keep the peace in the town. She is the sweetest little addition to the family. I loved that girl so much now, and I missed her terribly. She didn’t die either thank God. But she almost did. And it almost truly killed my brother. Despite their very short marriage, they became impossibly very much in love with each other. How much you ask? Beyond my capability to understand, that much. But you could tell that they were so in love and that it wasn’t a pretense or anything. I just found it impossible to comprehend because it was something I could never feel for some girl I’ve never met before in my life. A girl that stood before him in a church, in front of a priest, and married him by force with evident clear hatred for him that lasted for a whole week. A girl who I tormented so cruelly along with her ‘husband’ before we found out how truly innocent and adorable she actually is. That same girl went from hating my brother immensely to loving him hopelessly in a matter of a few weeks. Come on! It’s impossible right? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way, falling in love I mean, it cannot happen that fast for everyone. I’m sure they are the one and the only exception.
Jenny loved him so much, she refused to let him die alone and go on his journey to get back at our arch enemy Zade to end him on his own. She; in a way that is still quite unknown to me because no one can make my brother do anything he doesn’t want to, convinced him to take her with him and let her help him in gathering all the information needed to wipe him off the map along with all his men.
Now back to that most stupid decision my brother had ever made before he officially died. What do you think that would be?
It’s okay not to guess it right because like I said, A STUPID DECISION. One that no leader should have made if he was in his right mind, but I blame the drugs he was on when he came up with his genius plan. He was lying in a hospital bed, shot three times, out from a five hour surgery, and on so many drugs to keep him alive and breathing, that I almost had to call for a nurse to make sure he was actually lucid when the words came out of his mouth “You’re taking over the leadership from me, Lucas. After my death, the clan will need a new leader. You’re the perfect man for that job, brother”
When he said the sentence ‘perfect man for the job’ that’s when I lost it and was rolling on the floor of that hospital room laughing my ass off.
Me? A leader?
“I’m so fucked, dad. And so is everyone in this town” I said out loud as I got up and left the graveyard, royally pissed off all over again at my not so dead brother.