Angelina’s POV
I have no problem going back to sleep right away.
Even though Lucas kept confusing me every time I talked to him, I tried to push him out of my head very hard, convincing myself that I won’t have to think about him at all in three more days, hopefully.
With a full stomach, a satisfied throat, and a very comforting warmth next to me, I slept soundly until the morning.
I woke up to very bright light coming through the windows.
I turned around from my side, expecting to see Ms. Snow beside me, but much to my surprise, I was alone on the bed, alone in the whole room for that matter.
I didn’t have a watch on my wrist and there was no clock to tell the time from.
I stayed lying there for a while, staring blankly at the ceiling, trying to think how the hell I’m going to manage my lonely, ruined life now.
I can’t ever go back to Seattle. Just like I can’t ever go back to that apartment.
I was ninety percent sure they took care of her… body. They wouldn’t leave her in the house because it would attract too much attention and unanswered questions.
My scholarship is gone, my whole freshman year is wasted, my dream job at that famous company obliterated.
Nothing remained, not even me. I wasn’t even Angelina anymore.
Gosh, how the hell did mom have the courage to start fresh with me in her belly and no roadmap clear ahead? It’s so terrifying.
A soft knock on the door jolted me up from the funeral I was throwing for myself.
I sat up against the headboard nervously and said in a strained voice “Come in”
Please don’t let it be Lucas.
Thank god!
It was Ms. Snow, with a bright, genuine smile for me as she walked inside and closed the door behind her.
She walked over to me and sat at the edge of my bed.
“Good morning honey, I hope you’re feeling better today” she said softly.
She said it with such a strong, motherly look and tone, I had to gulp several times to be able to find my voice “Good morning Ms. Snow, I’m feeling much better. Thank you so much for everything you did and for staying with me all through the night” I said sincerely.
She smiled at me tenderly and said brightly “You’re welcome dear, it was nothing really. I’m glad you feel better today. How about you join us for breakfast then? It’s almost ready”
I bit my lip not sure how to best respond without offending her. I didn’t want to sit with them. With him. He’s going to press on my nerves again I was sure. Even though he showed me a sliver of humanity last night when he kept his promise and let me eat in peace, but I still didn’t forget his threat about punishing me for my lies before that.
A shudder went through me at that memory and it didn’t pass by Ms. Snow unnoticed.
She touched my hands gently and spoke reassuringly “Lucas won’t bother you again, and if he does, I’ll be there to back you up, and smack him in the back of the head, don’t worry”
I found myself smiling at that despite the presence of his mother, but I would love nothing more than to smack him myself if I didn’t fear his retaliation.
Would she really do that? He was a grown ass man after all and Let’s not mention the head and leader of the town.
She must be just kidding to help me ease up into eating with them.
“Ok then, I’ll be right there. Just need to use the bathroom first” I said softly.
Her smile faltered at that and I saw the deep sadness claim her face as she said softly “You really gave us quite a scare in there yesterday. Whatever it is that caused that immense sadness to rip through you, I want you to know that you’re not alone dear. I know you only just met me yesterday and you met my not-so-well-mannered son first, which already made you wary of all of us, but I want you to know that you can come to me for anything. You don’t have to deal with your burden alone, it will only break you further. I’ll sit here and listen to you, no matter what it is, I would never judge nor assume anything about you, I will only try to help you get past whatever it is you’re going through”
When she said she won’t judge or assume things about me, my heart clenched as I remembered when Lucas told them I was a sold prostitute that was about to be handed over to Zade to own me, my body.
How could she still be able to talk to me so gently like that when she knows what I am?
I wonder how she’ll talk to me if she finds out who my father is.
I cast my eyes down in shame, and out of the corner of my eyes, I saw her hand dart out in my direction, which made me flinch involuntarily, even though she has been nothing short of nice and considerate, my body still reacted against my will and feared her.
I looked up at her extended hand, then at her. I saw how hurt she was by my action and it ate at me so hard.
She continued to extend her hand and I stilled in my place until her palm brushed my left cheek softly “You have absolutely nothing to be afraid of nor ashamed of, I promise you that. You’re safe with us, we will always keep you safe” she said emotionally.
I leaned into her touch, my tears falling against my better judgment. And then my sobs started, I could no longer hold myself or control them as they wrecked through me. Next thing I know, I’m being hugged very tightly by Ms. Snow.
I don’t hug her back, I don’t move an inch to let that warmness affect me “I don’t deserve it” I whispered so low to myself, but despite how low it came out, she still heard it.
I don’t deserve that hug, that warmth, and absolutely not that promise of her safety.
How can I accept the safety of the people whom that man, regrettably my father, crushed so deeply and took away their own sources of safety right from under them?
How can I accept that warmth when I’m nothing but a coward, a liar who can’t even admit the truth to them?
“Yes, you do. I don’t care who you are or where you came from, dear. I’ve seen the pure goodness in you even though I only just met you. And there is nothing that can ever change my opinion of you. I’ll be here whenever you need me, I won’t push you any further, but I just want you to know that you can come to me” she breaks the hug and cups my face as she carries on intensely “No matter what, you can come to me, and I’ll be here for you, I promise”
Her words and promises are killing me slowly.
I just wanted to pour my heart out to her and tell her everything right there. But like I said. I’m a coward. Even though Lucas said I had courage last night, he was mistaken. If I did have courage, I wouldn’t have stayed quiet in front of this amazing woman and kept my shameful secret to myself.
Despite all her reassurances that she will always be here for me, no matter what, I still kept my mouth shut.
And despite the deep hatred for myself and my weakness, I still hugged her back when she went back to hugging me again. Even though I didn’t deserve a damn thing from this big hearted woman.