Alex’s POV
“Ask away” she said coldly.
“You said I didn’t seem any different than them, who did you mean?”
She blinked away her tears and answered flatly “My father and uncle”
This takes me by huge surprise.
Before I could ask she carries on in the same flat tone, as if she doesn’t want to get emotional.
“Ever since I could remember. He used to mistreat my mom. Always punish her, hurt her, physically, emotionally, even I bet sexually too. I was too young, I couldn’t understand what was happening then, but I still felt afraid. As soon as the screaming began, I would hide under my bed and cover my ears, not that it did any good. By the time I was old enough, I couldn’t hide anymore. I couldn’t hear her screaming in pain and just accept it. I stood up and took my share of the pain. It doesn’t matter whether we did something wrong or not, he would find a reason for us. I wanted nothing more than to leave him and run away. But we were trapped under his mercy, in this town, where everyone knows my father. We couldn’t take any step out of town without him knowing”
I was lost looking into her eyes, witnessing her struggle to keep a straight face in front of me so she doesn’t appear like a victim, while my heart ached for her, and her mother.
“How old is old enough?” I asked tenderly.
“Thirteen” she said while avoiding my intense gaze.
That bastard has been hurting his girl for the past five years!
I mean he was always a cold hearted pig, but to his own family too?
Two tears fell down to her cheeks as she spoke again.
“I used to wish for his death every night. I used to dream of another life away from this town, away from him. Just me and my mom, finally free, finally not afraid or scared, finally living the way we were supposed to. And then your brother came. He granted my wish. He spared my life even though he knew I could end his if I just opened my mouth. He gave me my freedom and I kept his secret as gratitude for saving my life in more than one way. I finally saw that light at the end of the tunnel that I thought I will never reach. But the light wasn’t in this town with my uncle, it was in Canada with my aunt. I had our passports ready, I was just waiting for the town borders to open up again”
Her face turns hateful and full of loathing, and I knew exactly what her next words were going to be.
At that moment, I knew exactly why she hated me, why she chose death over me, why she will never stop hating me.
I ruined her life. Unknowingly, I plunged her back into the darkness and shut off the lights.
She smacked my chest angrily with every sentence as she sobbed “Then you came! You took my freedom away! You made me yours against my will! You took my light! You ruined my dreams! You dragged me back to the hell I was desperately dying to escape from! You sentenced me to another lifetime of being stuck in this town with you!”
I let her hit my chest and get it all out of her system without attempting to stop her. When she got tired of it, she just looked at me with coldness and misery.
“But I…I chose death over you. I chose death over having the life that my mother had with my father for the past eighteen years. I chose death over your hell. But even death wasn’t a fucking option for me. I had to save my mom. I had to endure everything you threw at me, keep my mouth shut, my emotions at bay, obey your orders just for her sake. I didn’t give a damn about the clan or the peace. I only did it to save her life from my uncle. Then, I had to send her away without me. She got her freedom while I stayed behind. I was supposed to be with her! I was supposed to be free!”
She was breathing raggedly at that point. Her body trembling from the barely contained rage. Her face full of tears, burning in agony and anger.
She wiped her face with the back of her hand in an attempt to compose herself, but as soon as she wiped them away, new ones came down just as fast and replaced them.
“I kept quiet about my injuries because I was certain you would revel in them. I was certain you would use them to keep me tamed and obedient to your commands. You were just like them to me Alex. You didn’t disappoint me at all from that first confrontation in the front yard. Is your curiosity finally satisfied yet? Do you know now why I hate you so much? Why I will never forgive you for taking my freedom away from me?”
If words could cut, those words she just threw at me felt like a million cut across my body, my heart, and my soul.
“Do you still think that way? That I’m no different than them?” I asked her tightly. Although she insinuated that I was different at the beginning of our conversation, I needed to hear it again.
She pursed her lips and stared at me “I don’t know anymore Alex. The only upside here is you haven’t raised your hand on me, yet. But how long that is going to last, I have no idea”
Her answer makes me hate myself. I really wasn’t the violent type when it comes to a woman. But to say I didn’t think about it whenever she pissed me off would be a total fucking lie.
But to hit her and hurt her the way her uncle did, the way her father apparently did too, was never going to happen. That’s for damn sure.
All her anger, disdain, and hate towards me from day one wasn’t because of her father’s death like I originally thought. It was because I took away her freedom, her dream, her life with her mother. It was because she believed her life with me will be a continuation of her miserable life with her father and uncle. That’s why she would have rather died than keep living the life her and her mother lived for the past eighteen years.
And I have done nothing but confirm that belief from the moment she sat foot in my front yard.
The guilt was eating me up like a rapidly spreading fire. It was swallowing me, suffocating me, and hurting me beyond repair.
I stepped closer to her and put as much sincerity as I could into my voice “I’m so sorry I took your freedom away from you Jenny. I’m so sorry I was so harsh on you, hurt you, and scared you. I thought you wanted to get back at us for killing your father, it never occurred to me that he was mistreating you. I had no idea how miserable your life was. I don’t want to cause you anymore pain. But at the same time, I can’t let you leave because there will be nothing stopping your clan from attacking us again. I can’t afford anymore bloodshed in this town. As for hating me, and not forgiving me for everything I did to you, I really hope one day I can change your mind. I hope one day you look at me and see someone else, someone who will do anything to earn your forgiveness and protect you from ever getting hurt again”
I turn around and leave the room at once.
I was in desperate need of some fresh air, and some privacy.
Reality is, I could barely hold my tears in front of her and I just needed to get them out alone.
She got to me the moment she told me about how harsh her life was from the beginning. To add salt to the injury, I was the one darkening her life now and there was nothing I could do to change that.
She didn’t deserve all that pain.
I ached for her so badly like I never did anyone before in my life.