Christian
“So what do you want, Amy?”
“We’ll mostly I want to apologise to you and your family for everything I have done but first I want to ask you something. Is… is that any chance of trying again, Chris? I miss my family and I want you all back.” That I was not expecting and for a moment it threw me, which of course she takes as me considering it.
“We can start again, Chris. You me and the kids. We can move house if you want. I’m better now and clean and I have no plans of going back to who I was.”
“Amy, that’s not going to happen.”
“But I thought… won’t you even consider it?” Fuck why does she have to do this? Even after everything that she has done to everyone I still don't want to have to hurt her in any way. Am I stupid for thinking that way? properly but it is what it is. She was once my wife regardless of what she has done. "No, Amy. I'm sorry but I don't need to consider it because it isn't happening.
"But why, Chris? We were great together once."
"We were Amy and when we first broke up it took me a while to get over our marriage, to get over you. I thought we were meant to be for life but now... now that I've met Molly I've quickly realized that we were never meant to last. I'm not saying this to hurt you, I want to be honest with you, Amy, something that you haven't been with me in a long time." The mix of emotions on her face is intense and for a moment I'm honestly not sure if she's angry or hurt but then she seems to pull herself together and puts on a smile that I know is forced.
"I know what I did was wrong, Chris. I know that I have made more mistakes than deserve forgiveness but I promise that I won't go back to that person again. I don't want to be that person anymore." The saddest part of her words is that I believe her. Why couldn't she have had that kind of attitude when our marriage was falling apart? but then if she had changed and we had stayed together then I wouldn't have had a chance with Molly and I can't imagine not having her in my life.
"What about Molly in this? You want us back together so what about her? She is carrying my children and we live together. What do I do with her in all of this?" She sucks in a breath at my words and for a moment I'm not sure why but then I realise what it is but she speaks before I can say anymore. "Children?" I nod. "Yes, we're having twins. Two boys. Identical." She smiles seeming genuinely happy but I'm still unsure of how to take her right now. "Wow, twins that's amazing! twins... I was wondering who would carry on the family twin genuine."
"Yeah, I never thought that it would be me but it is and I couldn't be more happy."
"I believe you. I know how much you love being a dad, and how much of a good dad you are. You can still be a good dad to the twins even with us back together, they would always be welcome at our home." There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I'm staying with Molly, that I am finally with the love of my life and the sooner that Amy realizes that the better. I need to shut this shit down... now!
"Amy, honey it's not going to happen. We are done. We have been done for a long time and nothing is going to change that. The kids are happy and settled and so am I. I love Molly and there's nothing that's going to change that." She gives me a look, a look that tells me that she's finally letting my words sink in. "Ok, Chris." She takes a step back from me and I watch as a mask comes over her face. She seems to suddenly accept it so quickly and I'm not really sure what to do with that.
"Sophie... earlier I heard her call Molly, momma. Does Brody and Katie do the same?"
"Brody does sometimes, other times he calls her Molly and Katie isn't really talking much yet, just some little words. They weren't forced in any way to do that by the way, they choose to do it."
"I believe you. I saw how Sophie looked at her, she loves her."
"She does and Molly loves them. She would die for them."
"I know. Fuck... Chris, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for what I have put you through, what I have put the children through. The drugs... they turned me into someone that I didn't know, that I didn't like but I just fell so deep that I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel."
I know she's trying to make me understand but her words just make me angry and I feel months and months of anger starting to resurface. "So why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you come to me? I would have helped you, you know I would have!" By the time I finish, I'm shouting so loud my mom can properly hear me but I need to get it out, maybe I've needed it all along.
"I was scared ok! I was failing and it felt like I was drowning and I was ashamed!"
"It shouldn't have mattered. While you are there getting your kicks your children were left home alone starving hungry and filthy. When we found them... fuck they didn't look like my children and I'll never forget the look on Brody's face when we got there. Did you even stop to think about them when you left that day and didn't come back? Did you know that I found Katie in a nappy full of shit or that all three children were stinking, hungry and scared? Did you know that Brody didn't eat the whole time but fed his sisters the last of the gold fish crackers that he found?"
A look of shame comes over her and I'm glad to see it, to see some sort of remorse come from her. I don't know if it's genuine but it seems to be, I hope it is anyway. "Yeah... The councillor at the institute told me and I know that there's no amount of apologies to make up for it but I am truly sorry and I hope that one day you will believe me."
She takes a deep breath as she runs her hands through her hair. "The house... do you want it?" As I shake my head no I notice my dad heading our way and feel my heart rate pick up. "No, we've got our own house, we had one built on the farm. That's your house, Amy."
"I know that but I don't want it, I can't live in there with all those memories, Chris, good and bad. If you don't want it then you can sell it or rent it out maybe. I've already started the paperwork to sign it over to you." My dad comes to stop at the side of me but Amy doesn't even look his way. "I'm leaving tomorrow for Africa. I won't be coming back, it's better this way for everyone involved. I just want you to know how sorry I am for everything, I do love you and the kids, Chris. I really do and this is why I am leaving. Molly will be a better mom to them than I could ever be and I won't do anything to disrupt that."
"Thank you, Amy. I appreciate you saying that and I never doubt that you loved them. I promise they will be happy and healthy always." She smiles at me and nods before looking behind her. "I have something for you, Well It's technically for Molly." She steps away from us and heads towards a car at the edge of the driveway that I didn't even realise was there when I pulled up. She goes in the truck and then starts walking back towards us with a bag in her hands. Once she's standing back in front of me she hands it over to me. "It's fifty-thousand dollars. I never spent a cent of it. Please give it back to Molly for me with my apologies."
"I will, Amy. Take care of yourself. I wish you well and I hope that you do stay clean and build a new life for yourself." She smiles and nods then turns around and starts walking back to her car. As much as I appreciate her apologies I still don't understand how she can just walk away from those children, I don't think I'll ever understand it. "Amy, wait up!" my dad calls out to her as he starts jogging towards her with me right behind him out of pure instinct. "I need to ask you something." she nods for him to carry on. "Did we real-"
"No, we didn't. You passed out the moment we got to the room and I staged everything else. Please send my apologies to Ruby. You are decent people and I should never have dragged you into this." Fuck she really did make it up and then on top of that used her lie to blackmail him. Jesus, she was messed up! My dad looks relieved to hear this and I know that my mom will be too.
They may be trying to move on but it doesn't mean that it isn't always there in the back of their minds. We both watch as she pulls away from the farmhouse and despite how she has been today I still find that I wish her well but I also hope that I don't have to see or deal with her ever again. My phone ringing brings my mind back to the present and I find myself smiling as I see my girl's name across my phone.
"Hey baby, you ok?"
"Chris, argh... Chris, the babies are coming!" Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit!
"Where are you, baby?" I sound calm as can be but inside I'm a panicking mess.
"I'm in the horse stable with Tom. Chris, I'm scared!"
"Everything is going to be okay baby, I'm on my way just keep taking deep breaths." I hear Tom curse and that has me worrying even more as I push myself to run even faster. "What's going on?"
"My waters just broke. Argh.. shit! Jesus, Joseph and Mary!"
"Keep concentrating on your breathing baby, I'm right outside."
I end the call as I barge in the stable door with my dad on my heels. Straight away I see Molly laying on some hay while Tom runs around like a headless chicken. Before I can say anything the barn door opens again and in runs a panting Jakc and Hunter. "What's going on?
“Molly’s in labour! Her waters have broken! It's like the fucking ocean has opened up in here! Jesus Christ!” Tom starts running around like a headless chicken and if Molly wasn't in so much pain right now the scene that he is making would be Halliorus. Unlike me, it's all too much for both Jack and Hunter and they burst out laughing at a poor panicking Tom.
"I've called your mom, she's on her way. Callum has the girls." I nod my thanks to my dad as I make my way over to Molly. I get down on the floor next to her and take her hand. "How are you doing, baby?" Her hair is a mess and she has a layer of sweat covering her face and yet she still looks beautiful and despite the pain that she is in she still blesses me with her smile. "I hurts and I'm scared but I'll be ok... It'll be ok."
The barn door opening draws all of our attention that way and I feel myself relax slightly when my mom comes in. She may not be a doctor, nurse or midwife but she's given birth four times including twins so she's the perfect person to be here.
"John, call an ambulance. Tom, come and sit on the other side of Molly. Chris keep doing what you are doing. Ok Sweetheart, Let's see what's going on shall we?"