Kelvin didn't go to the guest room, he sat in front of their bedroom, rocking from side to side till he fell asleep. When Leila opened the door, he was the first person she saw.
Leila squatted in front of the figure curled against the door, she was torn between waking him or leaving him out here to suffer the stupidity of his choices.
The latter option seemed cruel.
She shook him awake. "Kev? Kelvin." He was still in his office attire, she helped him out of his shoes and he shivered slightly before his eyes fluttered open. Her heart leapt to her throat as his grey eyes tried to take in his surroundings. He sat up. "Did you sleep here?"
"No." Kelvin was lying, she could tell by the way he avoided her gaze. She helped him to his feet, it was cold out here and she didn't want him to freeze. She might be hurt but she still cared for him, she would always care. "I came here a minute ago. Couldn't sleep."
It was the same case with her. The room felt too empty without Kelvin and the bed, too big. At Freya's, she had slept on the same bed with her best friend. Leila stepped into their bedroom without inviting him in, and she turned around when he didn't follow behind her.
"Are you still mad at me?" Kelvin asked.
He looked to have aged within those hours he was out here and his crestfallen expression broke her heart. Leila didn't understand how she was feeling. She wanted to hit him with one hand and cuddle him with the other. The foreign feelings threatened to drown her.
"Not as much as before," she admitted. She returned his shoes to the rack, and her eyes lowered to his socked feet. It would be unfair of her to treat him so harshly when they were both played. The enemy wasn't her husband, it was Charles and his accomplice. "I couldn't sleep, Kev." Leila was the one who took a step forward. She gestured to the bed. "Do you want to sleep here?"
"Yeah." His eagerness made Leila frown and Kelvin scratched the back of his head. "I mean, if you don't mind." She didn't mind. It was a few minutes past three in the morning and she had not gotten a wink of sleep. Kelvin bridged the gap between them without touching her but his eyes showed how much he wanted to touch her. "I would love to sleep here."
"Okay." Minutes later, she said, "You should have your bath. You're still in your work clothes. I'll be here."
While he was bathing, she put things in order. Her bag was unpacked. Hours alone to herself made her realise a divorce or an annulment wasn't the way forward in this relationship. She cared about Kelvin and she was willing to fight for him as long as he would reciprocate that effort. She couldn't do it alone.
Kelvin returned from the bathroom in minutes and changed into his pyjamas. He stopped at the foot of the bed without climbing in and she was struck again by his handsomeness.
They stayed in that position with less than an inch of space between them. The scent of his bathing soap tickled her nostrils so much she wanted to take a healthy sniff of him.
"I'm so sorry, Leila." Her chest tightened, his apology healed some of the wounds his words caused. She tried to shrug. "I should have trusted you."
"You should have."
But Leila would no longer entirely blame him. She reacted the same way the first time she saw those pictures of him and Mia. Her thoughts stopped.
What if it was Mia in those pictures? She pushed those conspiracy theories out of her head. Mia and Charles couldn't possibly know each other.
Leila looked up to her husband, lips parted. He could beat himself up later but she wanted him to kiss her right now, then take her to the bed so they could cuddle. She missed the comfort of his arms, his breathing that always lured her to sleep.
Knowing he wouldn't take the initiative to touch her, she stepped in front of him and tugged on the collar of his pyjamas. She undid the first button but he stopped her from doing more. He should have worn one of those other pyjamas that was made up of any t-shirt and random shorts. It would have made her job easier.
His eyes were on her breasts but they didn't have the familiar intensity. She understood why immediately. The light marks made by his fingers earlier when he groped her breast were visible up-close. She didn't want to think about that or dwell on it now.
"I really fucked up, Leilani."
"You did."
Their foreheads pressed to each other, she begged silently for a kiss and when he didn't indulge her, she stood on tiptoes and brushed her lips against his.
"I forgive you, Kev." Her fingers threaded into his hair, and she tugged on it gently. "I don't know what you saw but it must have been bad if it made you react that way." Kelvin nodded. She didn't want those details, what she needed was a permanent solution to Charles's disturbance. "But next time, please ask me. Talk to me first."
"I will."
"Don't ever call me cheap or a whore again," she stated. Tone, clear and calm. There were many things she would tolerate from Kelvin and name calling wasn't on that list. "I'm none of those things. I'm a faithful wife, Kev."
Kelvin winced. "I know. I'm so sorry I allowed my emotions to rule my judgement. I'll never call you bad names again. I promise." He touched her cheek and smiled so sadly she wanted to hug him. "You're none of that, you are everything I wanted in a woman, Leila."
His fingers hovered above her boobs, Leila took his hand and brought it down to her chest. His smile of gratitude lit up his face and she leaned closer to him.
"Does it hurt?" He traced the faint imprint of his palm over her right breast.
"No. Just a little scratch. It will be gone before you know it." Locking their hands, she said, "I didn't like what you did, Kev. You terrified me. For a moment, you became Charles."
Kelvin's eyes shimmered with tears. "I'm worse than him. I swore to protect you but I'm the one who hurt you."
"No, Kev." She palmed his face and kissed him fully on his lips. "You're nothing like him." Guiding Kelvin to sit on the bed, she lowered herself to his lap. She caught the smile that flashed across her husband's face. "He is an animal. He is a monster who has perfected the good boy facade. You're not him, you'll never be him."
The memories from that night spilled over her, she let them wash over her, taking strength in Kelvin's presence as his arms wrapped around her waist. It felt right to talk to him about that night, to share her burden.
"I told you to stop and you did." Eyes locked on her husband's, she whispered, "If you were him, you wouldn't have stopped. You would have violated me. Thank you for... I don't know. Thank you for stopping?"
Kelvin didn't laugh along with her and her laughter died down. He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and hugged her. She appreciated his patience with her, how much he respected her need to keep that experience to herself.
"We just came back from a party and he was a bit tipsy." Her heart thudded, she dragged in a breath and Kelvin rubbed circles on her palms to calm her. "I don't know what we were arguing about but the arguments had become more frequent. Then he hit me."
Leila froze. A chill ran down her spine and it felt like she was back in the room, alone with Charles. When she continued talking, it was with a glaze in her eyes.
"He asked me to strip but I didn't," she said with a bitter smile. Biting into her lip, she only released it when it drew blood. "I couldn't. I didn't want to. I was scared."
"Leila," he said to stop her.
She shook her head. "It annoyed him. It was an act of insubordination to him, after all he had done to help me. He would have raped me but he only stopped that night because his phone rang and he had to attend to an urgent family meeting. So a phone call saved me from getting raped by my fiancé."
Her knuckles had turned white from clenching them too hard but she managed to smile at her husband. His eyes were narrowed to slits, she loved that he was angry on her behalf but she didn't care to talk about Charles for now. He already ruined so much for them.
"You're better than him, Kev," she said with a big smile. "I'm glad you chose me to be your wife."
A kiss to her cheek made her aware she had been crying. Kelvin kissed away her tears, his lips were over hers in an instant and he kissed away her pain. It was Leila who tore his shirt in her haste to get to his body.
Peppering kisses all over him didn't satisfy her, she wanted to be one with him in the way only a man and woman could be. The tent in his pyjamas bottoms poked her side. Her vagina clenched, she batted her long lashes and massaged his erection.
"I'm ready, Kev." Those words made Kelvin gulp hard but Leila wasn't discouraged. It was time. "Make me feel like a woman. Your woman."