Zordan’s POV:
I didn’t fail to notice her looking at my sword belt with her orbs filled with immense hatred and disgust for me. How ironic, those were the only pair of eyes that used to look at me with love in this entire castle. She was my home where I could return back to after a long, tiring day.
But, after what I did to her today…it’s natural that she would wish to see me dead, isn’t it? I won’t regret it a second even if I have to die in her hands, but sadly, I can’t fulfill her wish yet.
I was compelled to keep a stiff look on my face, as I slowly groped her arms clenched on my collar to unleash myself from her grasp. I huffed a heavy sigh and conveyed my answer, “Even if you succeed in killing me now, the guards won’t spare the Melhood family’s life either. So, if you are okay with the consequence, you are free to make a choice.”
Hearing my answer, I felt the surge of anger and bitterness growing stronger inside her. She gritted her jowls and peered a death stare at me as tears streamed down her cheeks. “How…Just how could I not notice your evil face for all these years? Just how could I let myself deceive again? Why?”
A sharp ache tore my heart apart as I watched her helpless mourning before me. I know, how brutally I have broken her heart today, so I deserved to be tormented myself. Out of all the things in this world, I never wanted to see her cry, but only her smiling eyes.
Yet my destiny is so cruel that today I became the sole reason behind her grave misery.
I exhaled another heavy sigh and retained my aloof expression, carefully hiding the inner turmoil going in my heart. I cleared my throat and responded in a cold voice, “You will have enough time to save your interrogations for later. I think you should get some rest first. Also, from now on, you will stay here in my room.”
Suddenly I noticed a change of expression on her small oval face as soon as she heard me. Gazing deeply into my eyes, I saw her shedding tears of heartbreak as she quivered in a low voice.
“Why? Why did you do this to me, Zordan? What did I ever do wrong to deserve this from you? You were aware of my feelings for you isn’t it so? Then why…just why did you have to go to the extent of stabbing my father with your sword?”
As I was lost in her teary eyes, for a second, I wished the time would stop around us there.
I wanted to forget every consequence of my decision, and surrender myself in her embrace. I wanted to hold her tight and cry my heart out on her shoulder. I wanted to scream out my emotions but alas, it was too late for everything.
I knew that the path I am opting for might make me lose her forever, yet I had no spare choice, to begin with.
From the very beginning, I was determined to sacrifice the whole world, just to keep Gabriel safe and protected. If that’s what has turned me into a sinful monster in her eyes, I will gladly accept her punishment for my sin. At least, bearing her hatred won’t be worse than losing her forever, that’s what I can convince myself.
“I don’t think that’s necessary to tell you the reason behind my action, Gabriel.” My heart bled terribly inside as I spoke those harsh words to her, without any other choice.
And just as my expectation, it did even hurt her more. She started sobbing vulnerably before me. Her breath hitched for a second as she murmured, “If you were always so cold inside, then why did you have to act warm and gentle towards me? Why did you give me hope the hope of a happy ever after? Even now…why do you still want to keep me alive? Even after I am aware of what is your real face? Why are you doing this to me?”
Because I am doing everything for your sake, Gabriel!
I wanted to scream these words at her but I was well aware, she would never be able to trust any of my words or actions ever again. Our dream of a happy life was doomed from the very start, yet still, I was greedy. A part of my heart had deliberately wished if she wouldn’t see me stabbing my sword in her father’s chest.
But, fate was never merciful towards me since the very beginning.
I had no other choice but to threaten her with the Melhood family’s life as I knew, that was the only way by which she would allow me to stay by her side. Not even in my distant dreams, I could think about hurting her.
The helplessness residing in my heart swelled my eyes with tears but I cleverly averted my gaze away from her to hide my emotions. I couldn’t bear looking into her teary eyes anymore as I turned around, clenching my fist tight.
“Just as I said, I do not think it’s necessary to give any explanation to you. Rest well for the time being, and I will come to fetch you once I have prepared the funeral arrangements for your father.” I sounded cold in my tone, hiding my tears.
For a brief moment, she continued sobbing keeping a deep silence between us. Just when I was about to walk outside the door, she started crying aloud and grunted at me, “I HATE YOU!! I WILL HATE YOU TILL THE DAY I DIE!! I WISH…(hic)... I COULD SEE A TERRIBLE END FOR YOU, ZORDAN! YOU…YOU ARE WAY WORSE THAN ANY MONSTER COULD EVER BE!! I FUCKIN’ HATE YOU SO MUCH!!”
While I was standing still with my face turned around, I couldn’t control those painful tears that dripped down my eyes without my permission. Her hateful words seemed like a dagger stabbing me deep in the heart but, I deserved it.
While I closed the door behind me, I heard her collapsing down on the ground, crying out bitterly. I couldn’t muster the courage to turn behind or I might not be able to control myself from rushing over to her.
I am obliged to pretend indifference towards her until the day everything would fall back into place. After that, I won’t think twice before giving up my life for her.
But till then, I must keep walking on the painful path I had chosen for us.
As I kept marching forward, I rustled my hand inside my waistcoat pocket. I picked out a few trampled bulbs of red roses that she had left behind at the doorstep of her father’s chamber. Sadly, I was also aware that she had brought those flowers for me but never imagined this will be the way I will have to cherish these precious roses for the rest of my life.
My motion halted as I looked behind the closed door of my room. Tears streamed down my eyes as a painful smile curved the corner of my lips when I murmured my honest confession.
“Gabriel, I wish I could let you know, you mean the whole world to me! My heart has always belonged to you and it will be only yours until the very end. You are my eternal.”