BASH
"Why didn't you tell me that her fiancé died? I could have avoided asking her about him, Lizzy."
She sighs from the other line.
I couldn't sleep after I had just discovered Trinity's last relationship.
It breaks my heart to see her in such pain, and I can't do anything to help her.
"Bash, she needs you. She may laugh, jokes around, or pushes you away, but she suffered a lot losing her fiancé. She needs the Bash that she used to know. She needs her best friend," Lizzy says softly, convincing me.
She doesn't have to.
"She doesn't need me, Lizzy. You can't push her on me if she doesn't want me, and I can't force what we had to be back to normal. All she needs is to accept her loss and move on. She has you as a friend."
What I say and want to say only contradicts my heart's feelings.
Lizzy doesn't know how much I want to have my best friend back. I just don't know how and where to start.
The frown deepens on my forehead.
Trinity has changed a lot. She's not the gullible and free-spirit girl I once knew.
Honestly, I don't want to be just her friend anymore. I want to be wanted. I want to be someone she needs, not because she was my best friend.
"You didn't get it, Bash."
"Tell me then, Lizzy." I close my eyes.
"You can bring back the old Trinity. Haven't you noticed? She is trying to be strong, but it doesn't feel right because she is fooling herself. Deep inside, she is broken. You broke her, and then, she broke her heart again when her fiancé died." Lizzy blames me. I know it, and a part of me blamed myself too.
"I didn't break her, Lizzy." I ignore the pang inside my chest and the fact that she shoves the truth into my face.
"Do tell, Bash. Aren't you broken, too?" she demands an answer.
"Just drop it, Lizzy. My case is different. It's not like that," I clarify awkwardly.
"What is your case then? And how is it not like that? You jumped to conclusions, and then you didn't come to visit again for over three years, and you avoided anything about her. You always walked away when we were talking about her. Tell me, baby brother." She sounds pissed. She has the right to because she cares a lot about Trinity. They became best friends while I was gone.
I don't know what to tell her because I know she's right. I didn't come to spend a vacation for three years after what I saw on my first visit. Since then, I have stayed in London and let my family come to visit me. I never asked anyone about her or even checked her on social media. I didn't realize how hurt I was when I saw her that night.
"Whatever, Lizzy, and I didn't call you to lecture on me. I remember asking you why didn't you tell me," I retort.
"Bash, didn't I mention to you that you avoided anything has to do with her?"
I slump myself to the couch, defeated. I can't fight with Lizzy.
"Remember I told you that it isn't too late? It isn't. Now, it's time for you to be a better friend or better be more than a friend." She then starts giggling.
"Lizzy, it's not the right time for that."
"Oh, really? So, when will it be?" she asks, sounding hopeful.
"She doesn't even trust me, and I don't know how to befriend her." I don't even know what to do or how to start. Trinity seems so close to me-she's a grasp away, but her heart and mind are so far.
"Yay! My baby brother needs his big sissy's help. Leave it to me, baby Bash."
"Whatever." I roll my eyes at that annoying nickname.
***
"Morning," I greet her with enthusiasm.
I didn't sleep well last night. I kept turning in bed after my phone call with my sister.
I don't know how to get back the old Trinity, but I want her back pretty fucking bad, and I will accept anything she can offer, even if it's just an acquaintance or an officemate, for as long as I can talk to her every day. I know it sounds desperate, but I need her help too.
But seeing her today is worth a sleepless night. She's already in her office, hustling on the keyboard, and her green eyes are focused on the screen. She turns her swivel chair when she hears me.
She's wearing a cream-colored blouse with ruffles in front, a dark red knee-length skirt, and white four inches high heels. Her hair curled messily. I guess the red lipstick is her signature because she looks gorgeous.
"Good morning, boss." She rises from her seat, pulls down her skirt, then smoothens it. She smiles tightly without showing her perfect teeth. But she looks better today compared to our last encounter in this office.
Trinity is just jaw-droppingly beautiful. And it's so fucking sad she's not mine.
"You're here early." I check my watch. It's twenty-five minutes after eight.
"I'm always here before eight-thirty, boss. Our reporting time is eight-thirty while a boss like you is nine sharp," she says, picking up the iPad and tapping her red-manicured finger on the screen.
"What's with the boss thing, Trinity? I thought we already agreed about it in our first meeting."
"I have a good memory, Hughes," she answers with a hint of a smile on her lips.
"Good because I have a good memory too." I finally break into a smile.
She smiles back at me. "Okay, then. Can I get you a coffee or something? We have the coolest high-tech coffee machine here in your building."
I grab the iPad from her grasp. "I know my calendar for today, Tri. You already sent me an email last night about my schedule unless you made some changes." I put down the iPad back on her desk.
She's still standing like a runway model.
I grab her left hand, and she freezes. "We'll go out to buy coffee."
She doesn't move.
I look at her, and she's looking at me with slightly wide eyes. She blinks and licks her lips. I can't help but look down at her full red lips when a pink color starts to bloom on her cheeks.
Shit!
"Um, I can go and buy if you don't like the coffee in the building, or we can just ask your driver to buy for us," she suggests with uncertainty.
"Trinity, I could've bought for us if I wanted to, but I want to walk with you to buy us coffee."
She rolls her eyes. "You know, I don't do that kind of thing."
"I know. Now move your lazy ass, and you're coming with me."
She's still not moving as she tries to slip her hand from my grip. Her features change instantly from the sweet Trinity to a distant one.
"Trinity, you can lower your guards down now, and you don't have to put up walls between us. It's just me. and I'm not gonna hurt you."
"Hurt me? You hurt me once, Bash, and if I let you in into my life again, there's a possibility that you can hurt me again. I just celebrated my first anniversary with my fiancé, and I have to celebrate it alone in his grave instead of doing it in the restaurant with him or in our hotel room."
Fuck.