BASH
When the captain announces that we're departing soon, I can finally breathe, but my heart is still crashing inside me.
I can't believe Trinity left me behind with unresolved issues.
Trinity is always impulsive. I just wish she had confronted me first before she decided drastically.
I thought last night was perfect-beyond imaginable, and I thought I'd proven something to her. Clearly, her anger got the best of her.
It was my fault. I admit it. I shouldn't have decided by myself, but I was just thinking about her. It may sound selfish, but I really did it for her own good.
"For fuck sake, Bash. Calm down. It's not the end of the world, and we can still find her. I'll find her." Edmund's angry tone makes me more furious.
The hanok was utterly wrecked. Alex will kick my ass, but I don't have time to think about his rant right now, and I will deal with it later to fix my mess.
I've never been angrier in my entire life than today, even when I found out she was not coming with me to study abroad.
"How? Tell me, Edmund. Does she even want to be found? Does she know anyone in this country?" I yell back, and I feel so helpless.
"She went to the airport, Bash. She's a smart woman to wander around."
"I know, she is," I mutter under my breath.
"What really happened between you two? You never contacted me. So, I thought everything went well," he asks with a fatherly tone.
I glare at him. "Why would I tell you, you nosy buffer?"
"Because I wanna help, dumbass."
"Stop. Stop making me angrier than I already am, Edmund!" I yell again, but this former Marine corps never budges and does not even flinch.
"I can see that," he says coolly with a smirk on his face.
I didn't answer again because I knew I had screwed up. So fucking screwed.
He helps me pack my things up silently. Actually, he does most of it. I can't even think and see straight.
"Call someone to fix these up." I finally talk and gesture to the wreck I made earlier.
"Worry about these later, Bash. Just relax, and take it easy."
My head snaps. "Relax? How can I fucking relax when I don't know where Trinity is? She doesn't speak Hangul, and what if she trusts someone, they will end up hurting her? For fuck sake, how can I even breathe when I know she's not safe?"
Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to take deep breaths. I want to cry out loud. I shake my head and lean my back against the wall.
There is nothing left sane in me.
I stomp out of the hanok to the black sedan.
I look at the place one last time. This should've been the best place for us.
We made one of our best memories here.
"She took the car, and I'm sure she drove all the way to the airport."
I nod at Edmund as I carry my things.
"Just a piece of advice, Bash."
"I don't need any!" I snap.
He chuckles. Seriously, this man is making me more insane than Trinity did.
"Fine, we got a chartered jet, but I don't feel that thing will fly back home in one piece. It's older than my grandma."
Wow! Unbelievable. And he can even joke around.
"Find us anything, Edmund. Contact somebody, even a cargo or a fighter jet. I don't fucking care," I say through gritted teeth.
"I think that's your job, young man. Since you don't have an assistant, I think you should do it yourself." He snorts.
I narrow my eyes at him. "You're unbelievable!"
He starts the ignition.
"And you are unbelievable!" he responds after pulling away from the curb. "Bash, don't worry. She's in the airport taking a flight to Boston."
My head turns quickly to his side. "And you fucking know about it all this time?"
He raises his brow before he replies, "Oh, yeah?"
I should have hired a more serious driver and a bodyguard. I don't even need one, actually, but Dad is Dad. He's always been paranoid when it comes to our safety. An overprotective father is an understatement.
"I contacted the agency and boom. Her fight departed hours ago, and you might still be snoring when she left."
I woke up almost midday.
That's how I slept soundly after our amazing sex and cuddling last night.
We can't just keep our hands off each other, which was one of the best nights I've ever had.
My shoulders sag, dismay, "She'll go to her parents."
"You should learn to respect women's feelings, Bash."
"Do you think I don't respect Trinity?" I ask in disbelief. Beyond pissed off is an understatement.
"You do respect her, but I doubt if you ever consider her feelings."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, defending myself.
"Then, don't decide for them."
"For them?"
"It's my job to keep you safe, and I know many things about you."
I clench my jaw and don't want to hear any of this. "Whatever. But I'm glad Tri decided to go to Boston."
I've been calling her mom every ten minutes. I even sent her a copy of my email to Dad's office. I talked to her Dad, too, and that man kept laughing at me.
"Hey, you've been silent." Edmund nudges my elbow.
"Because I don't wanna hear your annoying advice."
"But I know you took them well."
I shake my head. He places the headset on his ears and starts watching the 90's movie on the screen.
***
I tap my fingers on my lap. I feel nervous, and my mind is always with her at the same time.
Edmund drives smoothly while listening to Country music on the radio. What's with this man and his music? A frustrated singer?
I chuckle, and that gets his attention.
"It will take forty-five minutes to get to Mallory's house. That's why I need some music." I guess he figures out why I chuckle.
"I didn't say anything, Edmund." Seriously, the airport road is cramming. The honking of vehicles irritates me, and my temples start aching. "Just get us the hell out of here, and I want to see Trinity."
"I think there is an accident ahead, Bash. Calm your horses down," he says, which confirms when I hear an ambulance siren.
"Seriously? When I'm in a hurry?" I retort. My eyes scan the lines of vehicles around us.
"We're already in Boston. Safe and sound," he retorts back.
I groan when my phone vibrates in my jeans pocket. "Mom, w-what?" My eyes widen, and I think my world just stops. She just continues crying, and I can't understand a word.
"Mom, mom, mom, please..." I rub my face with my free hand. "I swear, I didn't understand anything. Just calm down."
My brows furrow. Why the hell is she crying?
"Son, I-I thought I lost you. We thought we lost you, baby. My baby boy. Oh, God. Thank God you're alive." I can hear her sobbing and the faint voice of Dad and Lizzy in the background.
"What do you mean you thought you lost me? You'll not gonna lose me, and please stop crying." My heart bleeds, and I hate seeing or listening to her cry.
"Son, it's your Dad. We thought you flew with the chartered jet, Bash. Haven't you heard the news yet? Are you still in Seoul? And where is Edmund?" Dad sounds terrified.
"Dad, we flew by commercial flight. We landed minutes ago safe and sound, and now we're stuck in traffic on the airport road. Edmund said that the chartered jet was older than his grandma. What news, Dad?" Suddenly the news catches my attention.
"The chartered jet crashed a few minutes after the take-off. According to the initial report of the aviation police, it was caused by engine failure. Thank God you're okay, son. Your mom almost collapsed when she heard the news. Talk to your sister."
"Fuck." My hand flew to my head, gripping my hair tighter. I can't believe what I've just heard.
"Hey, baby Bash. You almost killed us here." I hear Lizzy's voice, and she sounds crying too.
"Well, bad news because I'm still alive, big sissy," I respond, half-laughing. I hear her laugh too. "I guess you still have a share of the King and Hughes fortuneS, eh."
"You! Silly, silly boy. That's not even funny. Please come home, and I wanna hug you. We almost lose you, brother," she says, sniffing.
"Oh, stop the drama already, and I wanna hug you all too. Tell everyone I'm alive, and let the PR people clear the news. Shit shit shit. Fuck!" I curse out even though my family is listening. "It's all over the news?" Panic strikes me like lightning.
"Yes, your name was on the manifest, and stop swearing, young man!" Dad's angry voice pierces over the phone.
"My apology. I need to call Trinity. She might have watched the news. Call you later, guys. Love you." I hang up and dial her number.
"Fuck! Just fuck!" I groan louder. Edmund turns the local radio on. The radio announcer repeatedly mentions my name on the local station.
"Turn off that fucking radio! Why did they lie that I'm dead? Didn't they also check that my name was on the commercial flight?" I can hear my heavy breathing and my frantic heartbeat. "Can't we even fucking move from here?"
"Bash, have a little mercy. Think about the family of the injured person in that accident. And we're lucky that we're still alive."
My mouth gapes. I'm such an insensitive jerk sometimes. "I'm sorry. I can't contact Trinity. Her phone is still closed." I slump my back against the seat in frustration. Why does my life have to be this way?
"Call her home number, her mom, or her Dad, and tell them you're still alive. I know how you feel, man."
"Oh, you do now?" I ask sarcastically.
"Yeah," he answers quietly, taking a huge breath. "My family. My wife was six months pregnant. My little girl was still two and a half years at that time when I was deployed. The bandits ambushed us. Half of my brothers were dead on the spot. I was wounded too. Do you know how I feel at that time? I wanted to fucking help, but I, myself, couldn't do anything because I was wounded too, and I couldn't even help myself. That's the reason why I always listen to music. Because that horrific day is still haunting me. Music makes me calm a little bit."
I feel guilty so fucking much. I swallow back the bitter taste that rises in my throat. "I'm sorry, Edmund. I never thought of that."
He grips my shoulder. "It's alright, Bash. Sometimes you're an ass, but I know you're not like some rich kids out there. You're far better than them."
I nod and am unable to form a word. The vehicles start moving, and the traffic lessens a bit. I feel relieved.
Edmund parks the car in front of Mallory's two-story red brick house. A dark blue car is parked in front that I think is her mom's.
I hop out immediately after Edmund kills the engine.
The silence is deafening around the neighborhood, and I don't hear anything, even a single cricket.
It's fifteen minutes past three in the morning. I walk to the front and knock harder. My heart has never been calm down, and all I want is to see, feel, and tell Trinity how lucky I am to be alive.
Please, God, help me.