BASH
Rejection is something I don't often experience. And damn, if it doesn't hurt- rejected by the only woman I ever wanted, by the woman you love, and think she has feelings for you.
I feel so embarrassed, and I need to run away from her. I can't even face her.
I sit on a stone plate in front of a small pond. The wind is chilly, but I don't want to get inside the house yet.
I'm still upset.
I frown and stare down at the water, and I see my reflection--a very sad Bash. I also see the crescent silver moon. I am amazed at the night sky with twinkling stars above me.
I always think about her whenever I see the sky full of stars. Those freckles on her face are like stars twinkling on her face. That's how fascinated I am with Trinity.
She's also like the sky- she seems so close, yet out of grasp. But even the sky is still reachable, right? I'm not losing hope, especially now that we shared precious moments together.
"Bash!" My big sister squeals over the phone.
"Hey, Lizzy. Am I disturbing you?" I ask with uncertainty.
"Baby Bash, you sound so miserable. What's wrong?"
"She doesn't want me, Lizzy. I thought she had feelings for me, but I was wrong." I sigh deeply, staring down at the small pond again.
I can't even begin to imagine the thought of losing her again-my stomach twists realizing that Trinity doesn't feel the same.
"You're not wrong, Bash. K loves you."
I feel my heart soar with hope, wondering if Lizzy is right. God knows how I wish she was right, but I know that Trinity still loves her dead fiance.
I frown again. "Maybe she loves me, Lizzy, but nothing more than just a friend. I thought she had feelings for me. The way she looks at me, it seems there, so real. The way she kissed me, and nothing felt so right when we were together. I know she felt it too. And the way we made-"
Lizzy squeals. "W-what? Say that again?"
I have to pull the phone away from my ear as I wince. Is Lizzy going to keep screaming over the phone?
"Bash!" I can still hear the faintest squeals of my sister, even if the phone is away from my ear.
Lizzy knows my secrets. She's the one who pushes me to make a move, and it's been years since I kept my feelings from Trinity. Now that I man up, that's the time Trinity turns me down.
Maybe it's too late now.
"Bash, are you still there? Young man, answer me, or I will come and let you talk to me face to face."
I roll my eyes and am amused at her threat. "You don't have to threaten me, Lizzy, and I'm way bigger and taller than you."
"So, what had gone wrong, Baby Bash?" She goes into a serious big sister role again.
"I told her I want her to be my girlfriend." It feels like I am twisting a knife right into my heart again.
I want Mom's hug right now, but she's not here. I've never felt so alone and helpless.
"Then what did she say?"
I purse my lips, sighing deeply. I open my mouth, but Lizzy cuts me off.
"Did she say she's not ready?"
I shake my head. Even if it's impossible for her to see me. "No, Lizzy. She said no." I close my eyes shut as they start to fill with tears.
"Oh, Bash. I'm so sorry to hear that. Did she even tell you why?"
"No, Lizzy. And neither did I ask why. It's clear to me that I'm nothing but her friend. Nothing more."
"Bash, it's not too late, and don't lose hope. She must be shocked or surprised, or maybe you should wait until both of you return. At that time, she can think clearly without sex involved."
"I will not give up on her, Lizzy. Not now, now that we shared something special. The sex was beyond amazing. I never felt like that before with anyone."
I hear Lizzy giggle.
I know it sounds awkward to tell my sister about my sex life, especially sex with our best friend, but I'm not ashamed because I love Trinity. And she's the only one I want to sleep with from this moment onwards.
"I know it would be amazing, Bash. I knew it! I knew it!"
I chuckle. She's maybe jumping for joy.
"Then what's happened?"
"I ask her to be mine," I answer quickly.
The line goes silent. I check my phone screen, but it's not disconnected. "Lizzy? Are you still there?"
She groans louder and roars. "What did you just say, Sebastian Hughes IV?"
"I said, be mine?" I answer, seeming doubtful. "Why?"
"And why did you effing say that? Can't you even say properly, would you be my girlfriend? Or Trinity, would you like to go out with me on a date? Damn, why it's so hard for you to ask her properly? Agh. I want to strangle you right now."
"What's wrong-"
"Do you want her to be your pet, a belonging, or a thing, Bash? It's your Trinity we're talking about, dumbass!"
My brow furrows. "What do you mean by a pet, a thing, Lizzy?"
"Well, she's not an animal or your property, idiot. And K is your best friend."
I can feel her rolling her eyes. "I can't understand you, Lizzy!" I snap, and I'm starting to be annoyed.
"Because you're dumb, baby brother," she answers almost immediately.
"Talk to me, Lizzy. I need your help, pretty freaking bad."
"Apologize and tell her that you don't mean like that and want her to be your girlfriend. She's not an animal to you to be your pet, is she? or a thing for you to own, Bash, and she's my best friend. And if she's hurt, you're hurting me too. Be a man, and act like a man, get that?"
"Yeah, I got it." I blow a breath.
What's wrong with 'be mine?' Like, be mine? Be my girlfriend. Women are so annoying and weird. Sometimes.