"Why are you sitting outside in the cold after getting in a car accident?"
"I needed some air. Don't worry, I was almost completely unharmed."
His eyes lingered on the bandage on my forehead.
"Doesn't look like it."
I touched the bandage, remembering how I'd gotten the gash.
"Oh, no, this was after. I was reaching through the window of the other car."
"You were what?" he asked, his eyes widening. I started to explain, and the whole story spilled out. About the accident, and the woman I'd injured, and how I was sure that she hated me now. And then about the rest of my day, how angry I'd been with Michelle, how betrayed I felt, and how mad I was at myself for letting my anger get the better of me.
Scott listened silently, and when I was done, he let out a whistle.
"Cassius, you've had a terrible 24 hours." He paused as if digesting further and then said, "Are you hungry? Let's go get some food, okay?"
I didn't feel hungry, but I nodded anyway. It's not like I had anything else to do.
"Do you need to get anything from inside the hospital?"
I shook my head.
"No, I didn't bring anything with me." It occurred to me that my suitcase I'd packed was still in the car. "Damn. I don't have any clothes," I said.
"Don't worry about it." Scott put an arm around my shoulder and guided me to his car. "You can borrow something of mine. Let's go to my place. We'll order some steaks and have them delivered. Then you can shower and rest for a while, okay?"
"I shouldn't rest, I should go into the office. Our lunch meeting wasn't my only appointment today," I said as I got into the car. The idea of going into the office sounded terrible, though.
"You absolutelyshould notgo into the office," Scott said, as if reading my mind. He was typing on his phone, putting in an order at our favorite steak place.
"I'm not hurt," I protested. "I told you, it was the woman in the other car that got hurt. She's the one to worry about."
Scott gave me a funny look and started to say something, but then apparently changed his mind. He pulled out onto the road. Finally, he said, "I know you're in okay shape, but you're obviously sleep-deprived. And probably like, emotionally traumatized or whatever. And look, I know the business is top priority for you, and I appreciate that. But that's also why you should take the rest of the day off. I can't have you making bad decisions because your head's not in the right place. Okay?"
He glanced at me. I considered it and realized he was right. Though I suspected he was just trying the argument that he thought would be most convincing to me. The thought made me smile a little. It was good to know there was someone who knew me this well, even if it was my best friend and not my girlfriend.
I looked over at him and grinned a little wider.
"Yeah, I guess you can't destroy the business if I leave it in your hands for just a day or two."
He rolled his eyes.
"If that's how you need to think about it, bro."
We passed the rest of the car ride in silence. When we got to his place, I opted to shower right away. Ever since he'd mentioned it in the car, I'd been aware of how gross I felt in my day-old clothes. I stripped off and left my clothes in a pile on the floor, stepping into the shower in Scott's guest room and letting the hot water wash over me. I turned the temperature up and steam filled the bathroom. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to clear my mind. The steamy air filled my lungs, and I breathed out deeply, and then in again.
Suddenly, I was chasing another memory. It wasn't a picture I could see in my mind but a string of fleeting sensations. Hot, moist air on my skin. Tension in my stomach. The sense of frustration, of something just slipping through my grasp. I couldn't tell if this was related to what had happened on the bench outside the hospital or something totally different. Was this because of the accident? They'd done a few scans and cleared me, saying there appeared to be no damage to my head. But what if they'd missed something?
Were these even my memories? Or was my brain just confused?
I tried concentrating again, but the moment was gone. I gave up and just focused on scrubbing the last 24 hours off of me.
Scott had left me some clothes on the bed in the guest bedroom. A blue T-shirt and sweatpants-he really was determined that I wasn't going to work today. Thinking again of these strange moments I kept having, I figured he was probably right. I toweled off and pulled the comfortable clothes on.
Downstairs, the food had arrived and as soon as the aroma hit my nose, I realized I hadn't eaten since my sandwich last night. I hadn't felt hungry, but now I was ravenous. I was making short work of my steak and fries when I realized Scott was watching me. He had the same funny look on his face that he'd had in the car.
"What?" I asked around the fry I'd just put in my mouth.
"Nothing. Oh, Emily says you're welcome to stay as long as you need."
"Thanks. I appreciate it." Emily was Scott's wife. "But I don't feel like that's what you actually want to say. You were giving me a weird look. And you looked at me like that in the car, too. What is it?"
"I was just thinking about how you talked about this woman, the one in the other car."
His words were like a gut punch. With the shower and the food, I'd briefly managed not to think about her. I guess my expression gave me away, because Scott nodded.
"Yeah, see. Look at the way you're looking at me. Like I kicked your puppy and stole your candy."
"Aren't you the one who was just saying I was probably emotionally traumatized? Now you think it's weird that I'm upset?"
"No, of course it's not weird that you're upset. It's just strange that you seem the most upset about this woman. More upset than about Michelle, who you've dated for almost four years. More upset than about your car, which I do believe you love more than you ever loved Michelle. What is it about this woman?"
A vision of her lying far-too-still in her hospital bed last night popped up in my mind.
"It's nothing. I caused the accident, that's all. It was my fault. I feel guilty."
"Yeah," Scott agreed, but he didn't seem convinced. "It's just, I've known you when you're guilty. And this feels different. Is there something you're not telling me?"
I looked at him and thought about those moments I'd had, where it seemed like I ought to remember something, but I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be remembering. Was there a way to tell him about that without sounding crazy? I finally settled on, "I don't know. I had a strange sense that I knew her."
Scott raised an eyebrow.
"Knew her how?"
I gave him a frustrated look.
"If I knew how, wouldn't I have mentioned that?"
Scott gave me a long look. He took a bite of steak and thought for a while. Then he swallowed and said, "It's bugging you."
"Yeah, I guess it is," I admitted.
"So, did you ask her? Maybe she remembers how you met."
"She doesn't seem to like me very much."
Scott tilted his head and leaned forward.
"Oh, interesting. Do you like this woman?"
"Of course not!" I spluttered.
"Mmhmmm." He sat back and didn't say anything for a while. I thought we'd dropped the subject, but then he suddenly said, "What about a P.I.?"
"For what?" I asked.
"To see if you know this woman."
"Isn't that kind of overkill?"
Scott shrugged. "You're the one that wants to know. How badly do you want to know?"
How badly did I want to know? I thought about the woman. I was struggling to remember her face. I'd spent the whole night in her hospital room, watching over her as she slept, but I hadn't really been able to bring myself to look at her. And yet, despite barely knowing what she looked like and knowing literally nothing else about her, I felt connected to her in a way I struggled to explain. Scott's theory that I was into her crossed my mind and I pushed it away. I was not going to fall for the victim of a car crash less than a day after I found my girlfriend in bed with another man. This wasn't a soap opera.
But maybe figuring out why I was so drawn to this woman was the best way to get her off my mind for good.
"I'll think about it," I said aloud. Scott grinned.
"I know a guy. I'll send you his info."