Months ago, I was nothing to these people, and here they are, trying to convince me that they need me and want to stand with me to fight for our pack. I can’t take this, it’s too intense, and I am starting to crumble. I’m no leader. This is proof right here, as I falter and break because my pack decides to disobey me. I have no control over what they choose.
“Don’t make us disobey you, Luna, please….. we don’t want to dishonor you. We all respect you to the moon and back, but the Alpha would never see us worthy if we stayed and you went. We belong by your side as one pack.” It’s one of the midwives pushing through the crowd towards me and one of the few of our citizens with the right to look me in the eye. I have talked with her many times over the months to improve the facilities for birth and the care of newborns and even witnessed a few under her attentive hand. She’s someone who works closely with me when needed, and I know her words are from the heart.
“Most of you are not fighters…. You won’t survive. You don’t know what it’s like to come up against them.” It’s my last-ditch attempt to make them understand the dangers, the almost certain death for many of them, and it’s as feeble as it sounds. My body vibrates as I cling to my last shreds of sanity and composure, knowing the crowd is against me as the noise grows from hushed whispers to louder refusals.
“We are more in numbers than they are… we can use that to our advantage, and if some are lost, it’s for the good of the pack.” It’s an elderly wolf near the last phase of his life cycle. One who has seen many things and endured many battles and wars, and his soft gaze warms me painfully. “A pack is only a pack when we stand and die together, Luna….. Protecting our previous Luna was denied us, and for almost a decade, we failed her. We won’t stand back, lose you both, and do nothing but watch. We, as Santos, must redeem ourselves for the things our alpha did in our name. Juan dishonored us and ripped our pack apart, but we came here, and we began to heal, to bond again….. don’t take that from us again by making us fail when it matters.”
A sob escapes my lips, and I have to cover my mouth in a desperate move to control myself.
“Give it up, Luna…. listen to the people. I doubt you can stop them from being ready to battle at dawn. Wolves are known to be headstrong when riled. You, of all people, should know that.” Carmen, this time, echoes out from the back in that snooty and superior tone that rings true, and I stare at her through watery vision while I shake my head. She knows this isn’t what I want, but she also thinks I’m wrong. Ever bold in saying what she thinks, she never beats around the bush.
Meadow is silent, Sierra too, and the people's will are deafening me even in their sudden silence. I’m defeated. I can feel the rebellion around me, that despite seeing me rightfully as their Luna, they refuse to follow this command. I know I won't stand a chance in changing minds; all I can do is make a request. Hope, they listen.
“I won’t lead you to death…. but I can’t stop you from coming. All I can ask is that you be smart. That you think about your skill set and the ones who need you here. Femmes, children, mates… that if you show up to come with me, you know you might not return. Don’t come if you know you won’t survive it. Don't be a martyr and give your life in vain. Future is as important as the fights we endure today.” I have no other way to try and persuade them, and I’m grasping at straws, wishing to God Colton was here. He would know what to do and say, and he would alpha tone them if they continued insisting on this stupid plan. He would never let the word of the pack out rule his decision this way. He would make them tremble if they dared question something he ordered. But then, Luna is not Alpha; her will is soft and gentle, not borne from being a seasoned warrior. Isn’t that why they rule as one?
“I know it wasn’t the plan, Chica, but with the numbers…… you can’t deny it swings things in our favor.” Meadow’s caving too, seeing the way the packs swaying to protect me, and she can’t argue with it because she never agreed to me going in the first place. Tears roll down my face as I scan all the lowered heads and try to blot out the sea of emotions invading me from all sides. I can no longer tell what’s them and me, but it’s draining, and I’m suddenly too tired to keep fighting. I want an end to all of this.
“I’ll be by your side. I’m not staying here…. if you die, I’m dead anyway.” Sierra shocks me from behind, her voice stable and strong and a hint of fierce I haven’t heard from her before. I spin on her, instantly aggressive in my refusal, forgetting everything else when my world crumbles.
“No... No!!…. Colton would never forgive me. I will never forgive myself for putting you in danger….. You stay here. You belong HERE! No way, Sierra, you don’t get to disobey me too. Not on this. Never!” From low and wounded to sudden harsh and commanding, my tears increase tenfold in sheer pleading, and I gawp at her in terror.
Sierra catches my hands and pulls me to her, hushing me as subtle hysteria begins to take over. My lungs constrict in panic at the thought of my adopted mom being out there, among that, fighting her own, getting hurt. Even a scratch, a tiny knock, and it would slice me into a million pieces. I know our lives are bonded, but it’s not computing in that way in my brain right now.
“Alora, listen to me. You can’t turn…. Your gifts are weaker… I can feel it. I know each day they dwindle more; you can’t hide it from me. I can heal you if anything happens. I can be your safety net….. let me be that while my son can’t.”
“No.” the floodgates open, and the emotions spew out, borne of anxiety, the panic immersing me painfully as Sierra tries and hushes my obvious distress. Pulling me into her warm embrace in a hug, her fingers to my face softly brushing my hair back, I fight to stay locked on her eyes and not back down.
“We have babies to protect and a son to bring home…. We’re not ready to die, and I am NOT leaving my baby out there any longer in the cold dark world without me. I did that for too long. It’s time I was his mother and brought him home like I should have done ten years ago.” Her voice stern, her manner strong. Sierra is different from how she’s been these months and has seemed to have found an inner fire. I don't care; she won't be coming with me.
“Your pack is with you. You have no choice, Luna.” Tom invades the podium and rests a hand on my shoulder, bringing my attention back to the front, and the sight almost ends me. Wolves crowd closer, tears in their eyes as they huddle in, holding their loved ones and nodding in agreement. The room is swarming as those who have been linked to the news push in to show they offer their support. Space filling until not a tiny inch remains, and bodies are crammed out and spilling into the village around the doors.
A hum vibrates through the room, and a feeling of unity and acceptance follows. They’re willing to sacrifice all for the good of the pack, and tomorrow we won’t be two dozen running into the forest. We will be hundreds, whether I want it or not. This is no longer something I can control, and the fates are telling me to let it go. This fight isn’t mine alone, and I’m not alone. I haven’t been since I bonded to Colton; these people became my blood.
“Rest, go home, prepare, decide. Only show up if you won’t hinder and only if your loved ones agree. First sun, be at the tree border behind the west rune line.” Meadow calls out, dismissing the crowds, knowing I will only continue to fight it, and the silence falls heavily as the realization hits everyone that this is happening. Tomorrow we do something I never thought I would ask of them. We leave the safety of the border; we face off our own, and mount an offensive on the vampires who have overshadowed us and caused fear to live in our souls for the past six months.
God help us. I hope the fates are paying attention because I could sure use a little help.
They start to shuffle out slowly while I stand like a broken child in Sierra’s arms. Overwhelmed and frazzled as my mind finally stops trying to take everything in, and I watch. I have no words left, nothing I can say to sway them. My heart is heavier than it's been in a long time as they go, one by one. Every wolf at the door turns towards me and utters one word with a low bow.
‘Luna.’
They then lower their eyes to their feet before turning and leaving. I’m so touched and beyond comprehension at this sign of respect that I don’t know how to react except to stand and stare at every face that honors me and leaves. I want to memorize every single one, just in case. While every bowed head and uttered word tears and claws at my insides so that I cover my stomach instinctively and cradle it protectively. Sniffing, gulping in ragged breaths because I’m too consumed with many emotions to be able to separate them.
“And here you thought you would never be part of a real pack or a family…. yet here we are.” Meadow glides beside me and slides an arm around my waist to help hold me up as I breathe out the painful truth. Taking me from Sierra gently.
“Most of them will die…. We’ll lose them.” The breathy words stick in my mouth like peanut butter, sliding out in woe, and I must struggle past the agony to get them out. Knowing I shouldn’t think it, but it’s the truth, and I have to be a realist.
“That is their choice…. you commanded them. They have every reason to stay and obey, and nothing will happen to them. It’s not what they want.” Sierra interjects, still holding my hand, and we patiently stand and watch every single wolf wait their turn to leave with a bow and respectful utterance before walking away.
“Next time I lay eyes on most of them, it will be at the rune border… What will Colton think if I let this happen?” I despair still, unable to let it go. Imagining his heartbreak that I let his people suffer, but Meadow is the one to calm me with her logic and reasoning.
“Do you really think he would object to the pack coming together to protect you? He loves his pack, but he would always put your life first. You’re everything to him, and more now, even though he doesn’t know…. He would do exactly this if this were his decision to make.” Meadow moves her hand and smooths over my flat stomach, eyes misting over as her chin drops so she can gaze at the life we all know is in there.
I stare down at my stomach and try and pull myself together, knowing she’s right. Colton always protects me and uses the pack to shield me when he thinks I need it. That’s what packs are meant to do for the Luna. It’s why she has her own guard when our world is in turmoil. The Alpha is the warrior, not the Luna.
She’s the heart, hidden behind the rib cage and shielded in the warm, while the alpha, he’s the fist. Driving out front to lead the way. The pack is the body… joined, connecting, working as one, but they get behind the fist and always cover the heart.
The shaman’s words finally make sense to me. Words he uttered so many months before when he told me what my place in the pack was meant to be. ‘Care for the people, listen to them, be the arms and the safe place.’ I finally understand what I am meant to be; it was never a powerful force to tear down armies of vampires. The prophecy once said that I would conquer with love… not war.
Yet I know that tomorrow, love won’t keep them safe. And I am not ONLY a Luna of the Lycanthrope.
Now they’re mine. But I won’t let them down, not now they bound their lives to my fate. Tomorrow I will lead. I will be the fist, even if it’s not what I was born to do. I will take his place and make him proud of what I can be. I know it’s in me. After all, am I not a princess of one world and a Luna in another? I’m royalty, either way, and I was given these gifts for a reason. I was given my eyes, power, and story to be more. I’ve been sheltered for far too long, and it's time I stood up and ended this like they said I would.
I only hope to the fates that we do this swiftly and safely, and I don’t have to bury any of them at the end of the day. I’ll protect myself, my children, and my people and bring my mate home.