I missed the journey home, thankfully, not by intention but because my body passed out on me without my having a say. I intended to lay on the bed near Carmen for a while in case she needed to talk to someone to support her for something I’d experienced. Somehow sleep took over, and my last memory was gazing at her lonely figure across from me. Last night’s tension, the camping out in the open air, and no real shut-eye. The past few days' emotional heavinesses just kicked my ass, and maybe the growing lives inside me too. The next thing I know, I’m waking to subtle thuds on the truck walls and jump awake, startled by the rattle as though something is caving in through the roof over my head.
Carmen is sitting on the other bed, her knees pulled into her chest, looking like she slept the whole time and didn’t switch places with Meadow to drive at any point. She seems to be staring at the back window, her expression blank, her face pale from dried tears and showing nothing of any emotion. I turn to follow her gaze and see the fog thinning across the glass and containing the dark figures of wolves once again, trying to get in with running jumps. I realize we’re back at the homestead already. The banging is the second wave of the wolves attacking our truck, so I slept for more than seven hours straight.
“Nothing’s changed here then.” I point out with a deflated tone, cringing with every new thud over us, and Carmen silently shakes her head. Her energy and vigor are gone, and she seems lifeless and empty. Her mood is like a dense smoke in itself and holds only sadness and melancholy. I wonder how many tears she shed before her emotional exhaustion knocked her out, and I hate I can do nothing to console her.
I glance towards the front and see that in my place, the witch is parting the fog so Meadow can safely drive onto the dirt track. Back to our main entrance, and we’re almost there. Leyanne seems relaxed, Meadow too, as though the seven hours of chatting time has mellowed any mistrust between them. I wish I had stayed awake long enough to get to know more about this witch, but I guess it’s too late now.
A huge black form, so familiar it wounds me just seeing him so, suddenly jumps right in front of the truck to swerve us into a crash. I instinctively lift my hands, cutting past the two figures before me, and throw him aside in instinct, catching him before he hits the ground and carefully nestle him in the bushes, so Meadow doesn’t have to run over her alpha. I think hitting her mate was enough on the way out. I don’t want Colton being added to her guilt list. I try not to take anything from the moment, pushing down the stinging pain, and remind myself we have the witch, who soon will help me get him back. I have to cling to hope that my mate will be free to come home soon.
Leyanne glances back at me knowingly, shifting in her seat, and I see the smirk that she knows she has met my mate. That little eyebrow wiggle and ‘hmmm’ spells out ‘interesting.’ I don’t understand her at all. She is neither likable nor unlikeable. Somewhere between good and bad, I can’t decide if I trust or don’t. She gives off many mixed signals, but Sierra puts so much faith in her.
“Home stretch, brace yourselves because I feel like they’re going to throw everything they can at us before we cross the rune line,” Meadow warns, snapping my gaze back from Leyanne. Almost on cue, the truck begins to shudder and wobble and grind and groan, with revving effort as dozens of wolves fly and pile up on top of us. Try as we might, between the witch and I, we can only keep sweeping them off for seconds at a time as though they somehow figured out how to cling on when they couldn’t before.
One last shudder as it feels like the groaning roof might come down on top of us, a slight buckling of metal as Carmen and I sit transfixed to it above, and whoosh. Traveling into the fogless air over the protection line swipes off the ones over our heads with a dramatic flurry of bodies flying backward. We accelerate with the last lurch of speed, skid, and crunch into the gravel in the front of the house with a noisy halt that sends us all falling forward to brace ourselves. We are only minutes before sunset, and the timing couldn’t be any closer. I shudder when I think of the difference if we had more of Darrius’ kind here. Daylight walkers who seem way more capable than the brain-dead fanged freaks of our mountain.
“Home sweet home,” Carmen mumbles and kicks off the blanket she was cradling to her stomach before jumping down to her feet and casting me a bank look. “You should eat right away… you haven’t, and you have more than you to keep fed.” It’s a stern telling-off delivered in her usual arrogant tone, but somehow, I’m getting used to her manner. I see the care behind the words, and my whole face softens at her scrutiny. The icy coldness, the blunt, often rude way she has of letting words fall out of her mouth. She’s a hard ass. No softness at all, and that’s what tells me that underneath that prickly shell, Carmen might actually be even softer than Meadow. She just doesn’t have anyone to give it to or trust enough to show it. It’s a way of shielding herself and acting like she cares about no one. People can’t hurt her if she doesn’t allow anyone to get close enough to try.
Jasper would have been that chance to nurture the hints of love I see glimpses of in her, and now, I have no idea what the hell is going to happen there. I’m angry at him, disappointed in what he did, and her standing here before me, I want to beat my stupid brother in the face. Even if I am ecstatic and still in shock that he’s even still alive.
“I need to see Sierra first and then ….” I start to explain and follow her to the front to get out, but Meadow cuts me off.
“No, she’s right. Go to the kitchens and eat. I’ll take Leyanne to Sierra, and Carmen can ensure you get food first. Luna, you’re home. Your priority right now is giving your unborn what they need. Let us manage things for you.” It’s her ‘I’m in charge’ bossy tone that likes to pop up when she thinks Colton would want her to take over for me. I can’t fault her love.
I know arguing is futile, and I’m weak and a little dizzy with a lack of nourishment from the journey as it is. I hadn’t eaten since yesterday before we found Leyanne and ate while driving. I hadn’t thought about it before, and guilt flushes through me as I realize how careless it is. I have to be more responsible for the children in my body.
I follow Carmen without further protest, and we’re immediately swarmed by pack sentinels who saw our arrival or were summoned by Meds. They start unloading the truck, greeting our return with submissive nods and uttering ‘Luna’ under their breaths. A huge sense of relief in the air around me as tense guards relax at finally laying eyes on us back home. I can taste the agony my departure caused and am weighed down with another layer of remorse that I abandoned them. Despite the emotions, nothing is amiss in any of them or our surroundings, and it looks like our absence didn’t cause much upheaval to the pack. Nothing has happened since we left.
It feels good to be home but standing in the almost darkness and staring at that imposing fog, knowing Colton isn’t inside to greet me, stings. To shower me with his love and hugs, that I need more than air. He’s out there, watching and waiting for his chance to wound me, which completely dampens my joy. Heart tearing with the return to reality, eyes misting that we are so close yet still far in bringing them out of the fog.
Instinct pulls me to the nearest wall of mist, and I get close enough to the tree line that I can see out through the forest where the fog physically meets the boundary. Straining to see as Carmen hangs back, sensing I need a moment.
“Colton…. If you can hear me…. You have more than me to fight for now, don’t give up. We’re working on it. I love you, and I miss you.” it's loud enough that my voice travels on the wind yet quiet enough and directed away from the house to not echo around the drive. Only Carmen will have caught it, and she remains silent at a distance, giving me some space and showing respect.
The fog twirls and moves in the wind, and for a second, I catch a glimpse of a lone dark figure directly in front, separated by the twenty feet or so of wood, and he’s staring right at me. Full-on wolf form, black, devastating in size, claws extended in readiness and glistening in the moonlight. He’s a sight to behold on any given day, but like this, he shreds my emotions into frenzied pain that aches heavily in my chest. His eyes are still empty darkness, and his growling snarl is unmistakable to my ears. I would know Colton anywhere, no matter the distance.
He’s warning me that I’m his prey, and if this wall weren’t holding him back, nothing I could say would stop him from tearing me limb from limb. We connect for one second, a tiny fragment between my mate and me, yet I feel only his desire to kill me. Its intensity is shocking and overwhelming to my soul. I shudder, turning away with tears blinding my eyes, to shut him out and jump when I bump into Carmen right behind me. She moved nearer as though to ensure I didn’t stray closer to the border. Lingering to protect.
“It’s not really him…. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. This isn’t who he is, and you know it. When the spell’s broken, Luna, he’ll smother you with love and protect you and his children with the ferocity of what you see standing out there now. Try not to let this get to you… at least you know his heart is willing when everything else is pulled away.” Her sadness bites through, and she rubs my shoulder lightly. Rare physical contact before turning on her heel and walking towards the house. While I blink after her in astonishment, she gestures for me to follow and seems sure I am coming now. The hints of that caring person I see in her sometimes shining through and reminding me how unfair life can be.