Chapter Six
Dear Diary,
I held on to keep from falling…
From her seat behind a window, she was intrigued. The Scandals’ stage presence astounded her, but wow, what you see is not always what you get. The radio interview proved that. They exuded sexuality to the listeners, needing to maintain their image, but they were different. Yes, raw sexuality added to the package, yet there was so much left unrevealed, so much more to them than they let on.
She startled when the vibration in her pocket signaled a message, long overdue.
The 3 of us are at the Pub, Izzy, drinking to you. Holy shit he is hot. We have all made your picture our new wallpaper on our phones. It would appear you’re having fun and we assume from his message, have made an impression. Katherine—momma bear—wants me to tell you a couple things.
1. Be careful, protect your girl parts and your heart. LOL
2. There are some rather interesting pics on the Internet and don’t think she wouldn’t have known. LOL
Cheers to you, country girl gone wild, Taryn
When she peeked up, she caught him in a fixed stare, at her. He glanced down at his phone, which he hid under the desk as he answered questions at the same time. Her phone vibrated again and she laughed when the picture of the two of them appeared saying, Hey hot stuff. She laughed at his sneakiness, even more so when Zander slugged him in the arm after he missed a question. The pretty brunette with headphones, opposite the table from him, didn’t register to him as she flipped her hair and asked rather intrusive questions.
Isabelle focused out the window on the way back to the venue while the men talked about the interview. Katherine always snapped her back to reality when she needed it. The inevitable pictures. Maybe she’d check them out when she gets home. It would be too easy to get consumed with how others viewed their time together, and lose sight of her purpose.
The list.
The evening raced by in a blur, but the meet and greet was rather up close and personal. She sat off to the side with Derek while the guys signed autographs and had their pictures taken with fans. More time was required to get ready for the show than she’d anticipated. Rocker clothes, hair gel, and a little makeup took finesse.
That surprised her. Her heart swelled when a woman ignored the other men and groped Cole’s ass. He sought her out in panic, raised his hands in the air, and shrugged his shoulders to suggest I can’t help it if they adore me.
The show blew her away, and yes, bras were thrown. She danced in the same spot from earlier, even sang along to some of the songs. Taryn’s influence, of course. She shimmied in a circle and tapped her thigh with her hand, surprised by the amount of flurried activity that continued while they were on stage.
She assumed that would’ve been the time for everyone to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. She was wrong. People flew around with guitars, and handed them off to the guys when they passed off ones with broken strings. Frantic talk shifted from person to person about an issue with the lights and a busted peddle? There were many flaws fixed backstage but out in the crowd, it appeared to be nothing more than a perfect performance.
Drew joined Cole at the front of the stage, wrapped his arm around Cole’s shoulders, and offered him a guitar pick. They both hurled the tiny pieces of plastic out into the crowd, and the chant from the fans increased beyond a pitch she could tolerate. She rotated away from the noise, to the many relieved smiles from the roadies, and even greater frantic behavior about plans to tear down the stage and move on to the next venue.
She swiveled back in the direction of rowdy footfalls behind her, stiffened with surprise when three of the four men kissed her on the cheek while they paraded by. She placed her hands on her hips and laughed at the guys, but she was confused. The first off stage was always Cole, if she remembered right from their banter during cards last night. Where was he?
She caught him as he lingered at the bottom of the stairs, his gaze locked on her. He stalked toward her. She could see the sweat that dripped down his face like the others, but he didn’t wipe it away. His focus on her never wavered.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her in the air. His sweat-drenched face touched the side of hers and he whispered, “I have a major adrenaline rush right now, and all I can think about is kissing you.”
A rush of air escaped her. “Cole.”
The current between them shifted when she no longer cared to check for onlookers. Her folds dampened at the mental image of him claiming her in front of everyone.
“I will kiss you. Not now, the moment isn’t right, and I am disgustingly sweaty, but it’s going to happen.” He put her down. “We’re gonna get cleaned up and head back to the bus. The after party is just us on the road tonight, no fans.”
Cole strolled away with a very confident swagger. She held up her finger and opened her mouth to argue. Nothing. “Crap…”
“Ahem.”
She glanced over at Derek and offered him a hesitant smile.
“Come on darlin’, let’s go back to the bus.”
“Okay.”
She smoothed her clothes down in front and followed his lead. Has he been there this whole time?
Groupies already crowded the barrier outside. After parties were a known occurrence, and the anxiousness in the young women’s eyes told her they’d join in a heartbeat. She stumbled up the stairs of the bus and grabbed onto the handrail, thankful she held no interest for the swarm of fans.
“The seat’s always open if you need to talk.” He smiled at her and sat down. He didn’t pressure her for more and that in and of itself, lured her into the seat. Her muscles relaxed, were more exhausted than she’d expected.
“I don’t know specifics, but have you told them yet?”
She whipped her head around with her mouth gaped open and no words composed in defense.
“Their manager did a background check on you, procedure and all. I know this bucket list is the real deal. I see the way Cole looks at you when your back is to him. You seem like a wonderful woman, but I have to caution you to be careful. He’s been in a rut up until now. What’s happening between you and him seems to be changing that. I don’t want to see him get hurt, or you, for that matter.”
Cole wasn’t kidding when he said Derek was like a father.
“I don’t know what to say. Yes, it is the real deal. No, I haven’t told any of them.” She sighed. “I’d hoped not to, but I know I can’t lead them on. After this, I will be heading into surgery. The odds are not in my favor.” A tear spilled down her cheek.
“I didn’t expect Cole, and I’m trying hard to keep my distance. He could have any woman he wants. I’m sure you don’t have to worry.”
Hoots and hollers alerted them their heart to heart was over for now. Derek had moved the bus closer to the exit, planned for their departure and what she imagined would be a scene to leave behind for fans to remember. The door opened and the female shrieks deafened her. Heavy footsteps rushed up the stairs.
“Derek, have you seen—”
She swiveled in the seat and the corners of her mouth rose a little. Drew kissed the top of her head as he passed by. “She’s in here.” He spun, still on his way to the bar, backward. “Cole has been searching everywhere for you. I suggest you hide.” Brett winked and Zander air-kissed her, also on their way to the bar.
She glanced at Derek, who stared at her with furrowed brows. He raised his finger and opened his mouth to say something, but dropped his hand and adjusted back to the wheel instead. He was tuned in to everyone’s needs, even the ones kept secret. She straightened her back to convince more than just herself she had everything under control.
“There you are.”
Her resolve faded when Cole raced up the stairs. He leaned over the seat, held her face in his hands, and kissed her on the lips. Her eyes drifted closed. She forgot about the tear that’d managed to fall until Cole brushed it away with his thumb.
“You okay, babe?”
Yep, she was in deep. She shoved at his hands. “I’m fine.” He stepped aside as she bypassed him, and the tear, to join the others. “Whatever you guys are making, I need one, too.”
She stood at the bar beside Zander and glanced back at him, while he glared at Derek, pissed. Derek only shrugged, faced the windshield, and started the bus.
It was clear all four men suffered from an adrenaline rush after a show; the provocative banter hit an all-time high. She smiled at a few of their comments, held back her laugh in order to spy on Cole.
“Ever been to Virginia?”
She shook her head at Zander, who handed her a shot of tequila.
“No virgins allowed. Are we going to have to take care of that before we get there?”
Her cheeks warmed. He tapped his shot glass to hers and tipped it back. “Pfft.” She followed suit, swallowed the liquid, and slammed the shot glass down on the counter. “I have no cherry to offer you, but I am sure we just left some behind if you would like to go back.”
He flicked his tongue between two fingers and continued to the back lounge. “Nah, the women without cherries are way more fun.”
She followed the three men to the back. Familiar hands seized her at the hips from behind. She twisted in his arms to face him and sighed when he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed.
“Come on, beautiful.”
When he loosened his hold to follow the others, she enveloped him with her arms and held tight. “Not yet.” She inhaled his scent.
He tugged her hand free and coaxed her to the back of the bus. His failure to cave to her pout didn’t appear too difficult. “There’s something I want you to be a part of.”
She perked up. “Well, get going then.” With a light nudge, she urged him to pick up the pace.
“About time.” Brett handed them both a shot of tequila. Awestruck, she ignored the shot in her hand as the four men raised their glasses in unison, and hollered “years behind us, years ahead” before downing the drink. When all eyes were on her, she tipped the liquid back and did a little jig with her eyes closed as it burned its way down. Someone mumbled hot damn, but only coy shrugs greeted her when she opened her eyes and glared at the men.
****
Cole sat on the couch after a quick shower, a beer in one hand, and his arm around her. The guys reminisced about the show. Life was perfect or close to it. The fantasy of her underneath him, naked, made it difficult to hide the raging hard-on in his pants. He should just give into it.
When the football Drew lobbed from hand to hand fell to the floor, she stood and bent to pick it up. His groan at the view of her backside wasn’t the only one. “I need something sweet to lick now, and it’s all her fault. Derek, can we stop at a convenience store?” He slapped Zander and shrugged when she straightened herself and glared at him.
The bus jerked when Derek downshifted to veer off the highway. She stumbled and landed on Cole’s lap, straddling him. “Fuck.” He held her by the hips and thrust into her once. When one of the guys let out a low whistle, he lowered his hands to the seat beside him. He expected her to run. She didn’t. Instead, she rubbed herself on him, and her eyes drifted closed. The guys left the room without a word, left him to battle the tease that now bordered on torture. He couldn’t recall the last time it took so much work to get into a woman’s pants.
They both startled at the sound of the air breaks.
“I need to go in and get something. You coming in?” He needed to get the blood in his body to flow back to the rest of his extremities. It took every ounce of control to stand up alone and not with her in his arms on their way to his bunk for the night.
She followed close behind him on the way to the door. He forced his feet forward, away from the temptation to halt so that she’d collide into him. Give him a reason to touch her again.
“I’m just going to get some air while the guys go inside. Derek, need anything?”
He spoke about directions to someone on the phone and waved them by.
The brisk nighttime weather replaced the heat that consumed him inside the bus. He preferred the heat.
“Aww yeah. Smell that, boys?”
They paused, raised their chins, and inhaled deep after Brett’s cue. The smell of burning wood in the distance slowed their stride and brought back memories of nights back home for all of them.
He hurried in and out of the store, but halted, halfway back to her. Her casual beauty glowed in the moonlight, and the smell of the campfire made it easy to place her back home, around a fire with his dad and brothers.
She stood with her shoulder against the bus at the rest stop, gazing in the other direction, at the stars. The light of the moon highlighted her hair like an angel. He stepped up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. She inhaled and let her head fall back to his chest.
“Did you enjoy the show?”
She offered a silent nod, at ease in his arms.
He kissed the top of her head and flexed his muscles around her. To some extent due to the chill that’d touched his back, but also to cling to her and this perfect moment. “I haven’t pried since it’s none of my business, but I can’t help but wonder.” He exhaled. “Is there a need for the bucket list? You seem quite healthy for someone with one.”
She tensed, not able to avoid it or prepare. “Cole.”
Her hesitation was silent, but screamed loud enough to make his pulse race.
“Yes, the list is real. I have a brain tumor. I will be going into surgery when my list is complete. I might not come out of the OR the same as I went in.”
She struggled to face him with her chin raised. The contented haze in her eyes he’d imagined when her back was to him now revealed misery. “My chances for survival aren’t good given the size and location. The headache earlier was minor. It’s usually worse, and I can’t keep much food down. That is why the alcohol hit me so hard the other night. I hadn’t eaten much.”
She fixed her gaze on his chest when she spoke, but tears glistened in her eyes.
Fuck.
She fit so well in his arms; he wasn’t ready for that. It was possible, her being sick, but he refused to let her unspoken truth affect him. When she gave her attention to him, shared her sorrow, his world fell apart. He took a step forward and braced her back against the bus, his willingness to continue with their teasing game gone.
He cupped her face in his hands and stroked her cheek with his thumb. Her eyes didn’t give him any indication she wouldn’t be okay with his surrender to their attraction. He leaned in close, his lips only an inch from hers. If they did this, things would change.
From the desperation in her eyes, she battled that too, but didn’t resist when he closed the gap and kissed the side of her mouth. She still didn’t reject him, and he couldn’t hold out any longer. He crushed his lips to hers, not gentle or tender, just demanded. The last twenty-four hours of attraction to one another created a tidal wave he couldn’t stop.
When she smoothed her hands up his chest, he accepted the invitation and curved his body into her heat. Her lips parted with a moan. He took a chance she thirsted for more; he did. He slid his tongue inside her mouth and all but came in his pants, her taste an instant addiction.
She clutched his shirt with her fists to bring him closer, deepen the kiss in a way that would cause pain if they were stopped before they were both satisfied. The bell on the convenience store door rang in the distance, and he remembered where they were. He stepped back and placed his forehead to hers. It wasn’t long, but they were out of breath. He’d go for more, if he hadn’t gone too far already.
“Cole.” With her hands on his chest, she controlled the space between them. “We can’t do this. I will probably die on the operating table, and I won’t cause you heartache when I can prevent it. Besides, look at me.” Her voice lowered. “I am far from your type, and I don’t want pity. You don’t know me.”
****
“What’d he do?”
She barreled onto the bus, past Derek. She rushed to the bathroom, slammed the door, and fell to the toilet heaving. When the episode faded, she braced her way to the counter and stared at the tears she could no longer hold back.
The guys hadn’t come back on the bus, but there was no time, or sense, in repair. Not even the prettiest of women could make the aftereffects of what just happened attractive. She brushed her teeth but her hopes for a few extra minutes didn’t come true; she could hear them. Another quick glance in the mirror confirmed her suspicion; it was time for bed. They would notice her pale face.
With her head down, she left the bathroom and headed straight for her bunk. “Gonna call it a night guys, thanks.”
She donned the Scandals T-shirt Drew gave her; it smelled like cologne. What is it about the scent of a man that can weaken an adult woman into an overdramatic teenager again? She sent a quick text message to the girls saying she attended her first Scandals show today and enjoyed it, but failed to mention the kiss that left her weak in the knees. They’d demand details she wasn’t prepared to admit, so she shut her phone off, stuffed it under the pillow, and got out the journal.
****
He stood at the bar and glared down at her empty shot glass. Why did he ask? The large gulp of Jack Daniels in his mouth burned. He deserved it. “What happened?”
He held up his index finger, closed his eyes, and swallowed. “Nothing. Just reality sinking in.”
Drew shook his head. “She’s upset. It’s real, isn’t it?”
Nothing was private on tour. “Yep.” On his way to the back of the bus, he let his fingertips trace the edge of her bed. “Deal a game, would ya? Let me grab some beers. I’ll meet ya back there.”
They understood each other well, which also meant knowing when to back off.