Chapter Fifteen
Dear Diary,
He’s in, deep. Should I?
The valet brought a rental car around for them. They leaned against the side, people watched while they waited for everyone to arrive. The early morning charm of Beverly Hills masked any forlorn dilemmas. She now understood it benefitted no one to conceal your troubles and go about life in disguise.
It was time to head back to the airport. Drew strolled out of the lobby doors and threw his bag in the trunk. She tapped her toe on the hard pavement, wiggled away from Cole, and threw her arms around Drew when he neared.
His chest vibrated, amused at her overzealous compassion.
“So, I guess he told you?”
She broke away before the tears could spill and slid her sunglasses over her eyes to cover the sorrow she couldn’t hide as he did.
He tossed his arm around her shoulder and squeezed. “I’m okay, beautiful. Don’t let it bother you.”
A taxi drove up and she breathed a sigh of relief. Brett and Zander got out of the car with their typical childlike eagerness.
“Damn. Did she add another item to the list?” Brett wiggled his eyebrows at Drew before Zander hit him on the back of the head. “Ouch. What was that for?”
Drew opened the passenger door for her. “Classy Brett, real classy.”
Everyone slouched in their seats, quiet on the drive to the airport.
Guess everyone had a late night.
“Cole?”
He let go of the wheel with one hand and rubbed up and down her thigh. “Yeah, baby?”
She shivered. “What about the Lamborghini?”
The back of her seat jerked when Zander snagged the sides of it to get closer to her. “It’s at my parents already. Sweet ride.” He hit Cole on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. My folks are going to see to it for now.”
Cole glanced back at Zander in the rear view mirror, self-satisfied, before he faced her with a wink. “I owe your entire family a round of thanks, Zander.”
She dropped her jaw and spun to the window in time to hide the heat that rose to her face.
****
With her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands, she took deep breaths. She blamed her nausea and the pressure in her head on the altitude of the plane. He massaged her back and the uncontrollable bounce of his knee knocked over the ginger ale on the tray in front of him. He didn`t have to see her face. Every inch of her skin appeared pale, clammy. Please, please, please, hurry up plane.
Her symptoms were getting worse. She acted as if she didn’t think he understood the severity of her situation, but he did. “Is there anything else I can do?”
She shook her head and then groaned. He squinted in pain at Drew, Brett, and Zander; their gaze on her reflected his own. Her medicine didn’t seem to work as well these days.
Tears streamed down her face under her sunglasses while they made their way through the airport. Security insisted she take them off to go through the metal detector, and the officer glared at him. As the last question was answered by Zander, he tore the paperwork from her hands, passed it back to Drew and bent to lift her. He cradled her all the way to the limo outside. She didn’t fight him. Not a good sign.
He held her in his arms while she slept. She passed out before they even made it to the car. He was relieved; sleep always helped.
“I-is she going to be okay, man? Brett and I are kind of out of the loop here.” Concern echoed in Zander’s voice.
How did he answer that? He inspected her lifeless form and swallowed. With a light brush of his fingertips, he smoothed the hair back out of her face. “It isn’t good. She’s having surgery when she returns home, not favorable odds.” He was caught in the middle. He didn’t want to betray her trust, but didn’t want to lie to the friends who had his back for years. Hers now, too.
“Surgery?”
He glanced up to Brett’s waiting stare. If he told them right now, she’d never know, but he’d have to form words in order to make that happen. As he scanned her limp body, he couldn’t. The rest of the drive was quiet and he didn’t know if they just let her sleep or because there were no words.
The limo arrived at the bus and he could feel the breath of his best friends’ stop, like his, when she stirred and opened her eyes. “Hi.”
He brushed back her hair again. “Hey yourself, beautiful. How are you feeling?”
She tipped her head from side to side. “Much better, thank you. What are the plans for the rest of the day?”
He helped her from the car, and shielded her with a blanket from the chilly St. Louis air. He’d never encountered a time when Derek arrived for them, unprepared. Drew put her bag on her bunk in passing; they were all quiet. She paused at her bunk but he tugged her hand toward the lounge. “Come sit down. I want to make you a proposition.”
She didn’t ask, just followed suit like part of the family. She sat on the couch where he pointed, careful not to jostle too much. He joined her. Within moments, everyone sat with their eyes on him.
“We fly out again tomorrow morning. We have a show in…” He made note of their joined hands and inhaled deep. “New York.”
“Oh that sounds fun.”
By the excitement on her face, she’d never been and if he got his way, she wouldn’t now either. “We’re only there for one night and know from experience, Friday night shows in New York are so chaotic it’s not as much fun as you’d think. I’m sure you’re a little homesick, maybe even a lot. Why don’t you stay back? Have your friends fly in to see you. There will be lots of empty space on the bus.”
He glared around the tiny lounge, made direct eye contact with the three men to shut them up before he focused on her again. “Besides, you want to get a tattoo. Isn’t it kind of ritualistic for groups of girls to do that together, a drunken bonding experience?”
He couldn’t read her blank expression as she surveyed the group. When she smiled wide, he let out the breath he’d held. She bit her lip as though she stopped herself from speaking.
“That sounds wonderful.” She scanned the room; Derek now joined them. “Are you sure it isn’t too much? Us taking over the bus?”
He held up his hand when Derek perked up, to say something he shouldn’t. “Not at all, right?” He remained firm with his unspoken words to the guys, who all shrugged their shoulders, tight-lipped.
“I’ll take care of the cost. You take care of the arrangements. I’m afraid it will only be for one night though. When we get back, we will be off again, in the bus.”
“Believe me. We can do a bang up job in twenty-four hours.” She laughed and brightened up from her earlier spell, but tension still radiated from the men around him.
“But no to the cost. We will pay our way. You have already done so much. Too much.” She let her gaze fall to her lap, picked a piece of nonexistent lint. A tear slid down her cheek and he could tell she avoided eye contact to prevent a waterworks display. “Thanks, guys.”
“Ahem. Boss man wants you in the other bus for a meeting.”
Derek raised his eyebrow but Cole glanced out the window instead of going head to head with him. Fuck. He kissed her and followed the rest of the guys off the bus. “We might be a while. If you have any problems with the arrangements just shoot me a text, and I’ll help out anyway I can.”
“There shouldn’t be any problems, but I’ll let you know if I need you.”
Her furrowed brows were a clear indicator, she suspected something was up.
****
“Hello?”
“Hi Katherine.”
“Oh my God. It is about damn time you called, I’ve missed you.”
She laughed and wiped the tears now falling, at will, down her face. “I’ve missed you too. I have a surprise.”
The sigh on the other end said it all. Katherine stressed. “I could handle a surprise right about now.”
She used the back of her hand to wipe her face and took a breath, on the verge of an outright sob. “The guys are leaving by plane tomorrow morning for a show. Think you, Abigail and Taryn could manage to get away? Come spend a night here, on the bus? I think we are due for a girls’ night.”
The break down began, but not from her. Katherine, who most often held the group of them together. She was the strong one. “Yes. God, yes. Are you sure the guys are okay with a group of women taking over their domain? Scrap that. They would, in all likelihood, want pictures or something.” She could still hear the pain behind her best friend’s laugh.
“I’m not fooling anyone here, Katherine. In some ways, these guys are our carbon copies, with penises, piercings, and tattoos of course.” She closed her eyes, pressed her back into the cushion, and curled her legs up to her side, savoring the memory of last night. “That reminds me. Cole had a brilliant idea. You ladies need to be a part of my list too. So, while you’re here, we’re going for my tattoo.”
Silence fell on the other end of the phone. It wasn’t like Katherine to be quiet.
“I’m in, all the way. Whatever you get, I’m getting it too. Please don’t leave me marked for life with something ridiculous.”
She laughed but Isabelle could picture the tears on her face.
“I will talk to the girls, book our flights. Wait. Where are we flying?”
She placed her hand over her stomach. Katherine’s episode passed, but to hear her say she’d get a tattoo, the same tattoo, offered a memory she could leave them with. Cherish.
“Well,” she sniffled. “I expected to return from Beverly Hills to Michigan, but we’re in St. Louis. They must have an upcoming show here and Derek drove the bus while we were away.” Sniffle.
“Izzy?”
“Yes?” Sniffle.
“We will be on the first flight out in the morning. I am going to let you go now before you make me start to cry again.”
She smiled. Katherine didn’t do tears. “OK. Text me to let me know what time you land so I can meet you?”
“Will do. I can’t wait to hear all the juicy details.”
The dead air roused her sob, so much so, she glanced down the aisle to make sure they were still gone. If she had to explain, it would only make it worse.
When her tears cleared enough to see and move without injury, she hurried to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, something she’d seen her mother do many times when she was a little girl. She now understood why. Single parenthood wasn’t the piece of cake her mom led her to believe.
She wandered around the bus a little heavy footed. The side effects of the medication lingered. She peeled back the curtain and crawled in his bunk. The cookies were right where expected. She took a bite and dialed.
“Hello, baby girl.”
She scrunched her nose. “Really, Mom?”
Carol laughed. “Hey, you are my only child so by rights, will always be my baby. How are you, honey?”
She peered into the near to consumed box and grabbed another. She made a mental note to stop at the store while out tomorrow. “If you’re referring to my list, I only have three items left and am having the time of my life. If you are referring to the tumor…” She couldn’t lie to her mom, never could. “The symptoms are a little more intense. It’s probably a good thing Cole has made so much happen for me in such a short amount of time.”
“Dr. Peterson called me.”
She dropped the cookie and closed her eyes. Oh boy, she isn’t going to like this. “He’s called me, too, Mom.”
Silence. Not good.
“Isabelle. I want you home safe. Don’t push it too much, okay. Leave Dr. Peterson to me.”
“Okaaay.” She let her hand fall to her lap. The surprises were endless today.
“Katherine has been doing a great job with updates about your trip. So, Cole’s his name?” Her mom laughed and it was the best sound in the world. If things were different and she was the one with a daughter, would she be as strong?
“Yes, Mom.” She laughed and placed the cookies back in their concealed spot. “Cole is his name. He is the lead singer of the band. They’re all fabulous.” She didn’t want to make too much of it, since she still wasn’t sure what to make of it herself.
“I want details when you get home sweetie, even the juicy ones.”
She covered her mouth to prevent cookie crumbs from flying when she laughed. “Mom.” Then again, why not? “Okay. If you are sure you can handle them?”
“I think I have proven I can handle a lot, hmm?”
She leaned out the bunk and checked down the aisle. “Yes Mom, you are the strongest person I know. I will tell you everything. I should get going though, just needed to hear your voice.” She squeezed her eyes closed. Things were too damn emotional today.
“Okay, sweetie. Let me know when to expect you back home. Talk to you soon.”
Click
****
Isabelle’s voice trembled. Crouched in the stairway and behind the cupboards, Cole listened. Eavesdropping on her needed to stop, but how else would he find out? If she’d let him, he’d hold her, make it all better. She was worse, just like he’d suspected.
He fisted his hands. To force her admission would damage what they’d built. His mood sucked. Getting reamed out by the guys about these last-minute plans of his to avoid the truth…well, it sucked. They were all in this together. They made that clear, again.
She’d sought out his bunk though. His. The significance in that hit hard; she found comfort in his space. He coughed, stood up, and climbed the stairs with his hands in his pockets. When she peeked out of the bunk, he wasn’t fooled; her smile was fake, much like his.
“Hey, you.”
Brett, Zander, Drew, and Derek climbed the stairs behind him. They continued the obscene jokes that had launched without boundaries on the other bus—after the lecture of course.
“In the back?” Drew asked, but made his way to the lounge without a glance behind for confirmation.
“Yeah.”
He held his hand out to her, and she accepted it without hesitation. Their comfort with each other filled a void that had consumed him for so long; the possibility of an end to it choked him up. He kissed her on the forehead and leaned into her ear. “Enjoy the cookies?”
She jerked her head toward him, her mouth hung open.
He winked. “It’s okay,” he squeezed her hand and tugged her arm to lead her to the back lounge.
Everyone sat in their usual spots; even she possessed one now.
“What’s going on?”
He relaxed his muscles at the sight of her nervous fidget with her arms. They were more than right for each other. He put the DVD in the machine and joined her with his arm draped, carefree, around her shoulder.
“We—” He surveyed the group and shook his head. The three men sat still, waited with their hands tied in knots on their laps. “Have a surprise for you.”
He held the remote up and hit play. Everyone sat to face the television with a grin. He glanced to catch her surprise but she stared at the screen, blank faced, nervous.
The music played through the speakers first, God Gave Me You by Blake Shelton. Then there they were, all of them, dancing like idiots. A slideshow of edited clips slid across the screen in time with the music, as they learned to tango.
The excitement of the day hit him, remembering the man she believed stood by fixing the camera, but really recording them. The guys pointed at the screen to make fun of one another.
She tensed in his arms when the close up of her and him filled the screen; it was powerful. He didn’t know until seeing it with his own eyes, how he tended to her, like she were the love of his life.
She shoved him away and stumbled off the bus. The video continued but everyone scolded him with their glares before they returned to the screen once again. He ran after her.
****
The tears made it difficult to see, but she was pretty sure she stood behind the bus. With her arms tight around her waist, she sobbed, too loud to hear him creep up behind her. She stepped out of his embrace when he wrapped his arms around her. The heightened emotions created by the video, sent her instinct to flee into overdrive.
“I thought you would like it.”
She faced him, could feel the puffiness in her eyes. “I can’t even tell you how much the video means to me. No one has ever done anything so thoughtful for me.”
He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and the heat of his hand on her skin made goose bumps travel the length of her body. Again, she stepped back. He rubbed his face with his hands and she could no longer see his true emotion.
“Is that why you’re crying?” His voice was quiet, cautious.
“I’m scared of the feelings I have for you. This can’t go any further. If I die—”
He kissed her with a fierce need and guided her with a desperation he didn’t care to hide, until her back came in contact with the bus. It didn’t matter how hard he anchored her with his hands, he couldn’t get deep enough to satisfy. He broke the kiss and lowered his forehead to hers, panted so hard his breath warmed her face. “Here or on the bus?”
She tipped her head in confusion.
“I need you. Now.”
He touched his lips to hers but his arms shook, on edge and ready to lose control. “Here or on the bus? Either place is fine with me as long as I’m inside you. I don’t care who watches.”
Her body tingled at his blunt, erotic words. She’d give him the world if he continued to speak with such desperation in his voice. “Bus,” she whispered.
Still focused on the excitement of his words, she struggled to put one foot in front of the other while he yanked her arm in haste. His need to be lost in one another, again, traveled through their contact. He slammed through the doors of the bus. When she’d admitted there was more between them than just the list, it altered him.
His determined stride, either to validate that he felt it, too, or tend to an awakened arousal, made it difficult to keep up. A few feet into the aisle, he spun and she braced her feet to the floor to avoid the impact, since she’d followed so close behind. He grabbed the sides of her waist and pinned her back into the counter, his gaze fixed on her lips.
“Everyone out.” He hollered, but didn’t wait for a reply. He ravished her with his tongue, much like the expertise she’d already experienced, lower. She squeezed her legs together.
The guys complied with the odd slap of approval on his back as they shifted passed.
“Guess she liked the video,” Derek mumbled on his way by.
“Strip.”
The door wasn’t even closed before the order left his mouth. Groans echoed. She didn’t hesitate. He tore his clothes off at the same time and kicked them out of the way. She stood in front of him, naked, nothing between them but the spark that never died. He stared at her; his mark from the night before was a deep purple.
The intensity in his eyes made the world around them fade. It was just them. He smoothed one hand over her collarbone, to the back of her neck, and wrenched her body into him for a kiss more intense than any other. Her knees weakened. She threw her arms around his neck for support and like always, he responded. His large, warm hand scooped up the back of her knee and raised it around his waist. Her feet rose off the floor as he continued to hoist her onto the counter.
“Cole,” she moaned into his mouth. “Fuck me, please.”
He bit her lip and then brushed the sting away with his tongue. “I will, baby.” He stepped back and used his hands to spread her knees, his attention drifted to where he intended to go next. “I want to taste you first.”
Her pulse raced at the erotic sight of him, dropped to his knees in front of her. His gaze on her body was like he’d finally found a part of life he couldn’t live without. As he neared her sex with his mouth, she placed her hands back to the counter for support.
She’d need it. His tongue was the most pleasurable form of torture. Every light tickle with its tip created greed in her only he sparked. She let her eyes drift closed and rolled her hips into his assault. Her legs shook and her body moved with a mind of its own, demanding he take care of her.
He growled when she braced one hand on the counter and weaved her fingers through his hair with the other, grabbed hold, and scratched his scalp in the process. She rubbed herself against his mouth. She didn’t have to hold back with him, and didn’t have to ask. Her muscles clenched to prepare for the release she now demanded. He placed his hands over hers and loosened her grip so he could stand. Satisfaction covered his face at the temptress he could compel from within her. He gripped her butt, lifted her to the edge of the counter, and thrust into her, hard.
“Ahhh.”
Their reaction was identical.
She latched her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as he pumped into her. Very little room existed between them. They held on to each other with fierce need. His muscles flexed under her grip.
“This isn’t going to last long. Ahhh. I can feel you squeeze me baby, are you close?”
“I’m with you,” she whispered.
He tipped his head up and mouthed the words “thank God.” She giggled. He buried his face into her neck and impaled her with himself. His body trembled with a release more than just physical.
Her channel swelled with desire to give back to him, and accept the claim he’d staked with his cum deep inside her core. She came with him. “Oh God. Yes.”
Through her scream he whispered, I love you. Every sense awakened from those words, she came harder.
The bus was quiet except for the sound of their satisfied pants. He stayed inside her. Every few seconds, he’d give a gentle thrust, wouldn’t allow the moment to end. What should I say? The words, the same ones he used, were frozen inside.
“So. What are we doing today?” She tried, but casual still sounded ridiculous after that.
He chuckled, his face still buried in her neck. “Well, I planned to book the bungee jump but after your episode this morning on the plane, which I am sure is still there somewhere under the surface, I’ve changed my mind.”
She relaxed her muscles and placed her hands on the counter behind her. The lust in his gaze from moments ago was now replaced with concern. She didn’t know what to make of his ability to read her so well in such a short time. “Probably a good idea.” Don’t make it go any faster than it has already. “What do you have in mind, instead?”
He kissed her on the forehead. “Stay the night with me again? In a hotel, just the two of us?”
She nodded at the same time the doors to the bus opened and the guys climbed the stairs.
“Shit sorry. The screaming stopped, assumed you were done.” Zander halted his movement forward and Brett, Drew, and Derek slammed into his back like dominos. They stood there, jaws hung, and speechless,
He laughed and picked her up with her legs still curled around him, his semi erect cock still inside her. He carried her to the bathroom with a grin. “Eyes off my woman.”
He closed the door behind them, and they could hear the hoots from the guys. He freed himself from her body and set her down on the floor. She covered her mouth to laugh but he just shook his head as if their antics were part of a regular day on the job.
She touched his arm with tenderness as he raised it to the shower door. “Just the two of us sounds wonderful.”
He opened the door and waited for her to step in first. She jumped when he smacked her bare ass. “You’ll pay for that, Cole.”
“I hope so.”
****
She let him take the lead with their bags on purpose. His drool-worthy form became an important, every day object to admire.
He opened the hotel suite and stood to the side. “Get a good look, darlin’?”
She strolled with a sway of her hips into the enormous suite loaded with amenities, most they’d never use. “Thank you, handsome. I sure did.”
A large, flat screen hung on the wall, overtop a stone fireplace. Tan leather sectionals spread throughout the living area for people they wouldn’t be inviting to join them tonight. The window that extended the full length of the far wall stole her attention, and the view of the beautiful St. Louis skyline took her breath away. Her imagination raced as she strolled over to the king size bed and smoothed her hand over it. The soft, white material cooled her hand. For some reason, this night had to be one he would remember while they were apart.
Several beeps blared from her phone. “Ugh.”
She scrambled for the sound and sat down. A wide smile crossed her face when she read who the messages were from.
Can’t wait to see you. Too bad the hunkies won’t be there too. I’m in for the tattoo. Taryn
Your timing is perfect. Miss you sweetie. Pick a tattoo that will look nice on me too. Abigail
Tears pooled in her eyes before she could get to Katherine’s message.
Everything’s set. Plane lands at 11:30 a.m. Can’t wait to see you. Katherine
Squatted down in front of her, he wiped her tears with his thumbs. “What is it, beautiful?”
She dropped her hand with the phone, and raised her gaze to his tear-blurred face. “The girls. They get in at eleven-thirty tomorrow morning and want to get a tattoo as well, to match mine.”
He smiled, and wiped the tears that didn’t seem to stop. “You have pretty amazing friends.”
She nodded, couldn’t stop the waterworks. “The best. I love them so much.”
His smile fell, along with his attentiveness before he stood up and retrieved the box of tissues on the table. He held his hand on the box, but kept his back to her. “I can see how much you love them.”
His back heaved with a noticeable breath before he returned to her, the box in one hand, his other in his pocket. Fisted?
“They’re the lucky ones in my eyes.” He didn’t linger when she accepted the tissues, just excused himself to the bathroom.
She didn’t know what to make of his sadness, and choked-up cough as he plodded away.
It didn’t take much to understand what bothered him. The L word. She said it, and not about him. She could feel it though, the love. If she refrained from the use of the word, she prevented hurt, or so she’d convinced herself.
His face on the other hand, couldn’t have been clearer; he already hurt. She didn’t want to ruin this night, needed to fix it before he left tomorrow. She used a tissue to wipe her face dry, and took a deep breath.
He roamed out of the bathroom with his smile back in place, but his pain still showed behind the mask. “So. What would you like to do?”
She tapped her hand on her thigh and scanned the room for anything that would offer a distraction. “Cole?” His chest expanded at the sound of his name on her lips.
“Yeah?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and straightened her back, but his attractive fake smile even melted her. “You have spent more than enough time making our days about me. What do you want to do? For you. Not me, for a change.”
He strolled forward, tucked her hand in his with a grin on his face, and guided her toward the bed. She smacked his arm. That could wait a bit.
“One track mind these days, huh?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
She never had seen his smile so wide.
“You really don’t want to know what I want.”
The suspense killed her, more than the tumor and it sounded kinky. Although a little sore from the night before, she focused on the bed, and couldn’t think of anything they left undone. “Okay, I can’t take it. Tell me now.”
He nudged her down on the bed. “I would really love to get under the covers with you—”
He grabbed the hem of his shirt and her pulse shifted into overdrive. She put her hands down on the soft bed and scooted back further. A strip tease by Cole Davies was sure to be worthy of millions. The sound of his zipper filled the air.
He lowered his jeans, kicked them off to the side, and crawled toward her on the bed. The mattress bounced when he plopped down beside her. “—and watch a movie. It has been so long since I have done something so simple.”
With her mouth hung open, she filtered through her assumptions to get out a response for his absurdity, but he tackled her. She rolled around to avoid his tickles, but he overpowered her and pinned her beneath him.
She stared up at the childlike glow in his eyes. This could backfire, but she had to. “My head.” She squeezed her eyes shut.
He fell for it. She’d never seen him move so fast. He rolled off her and placed his hands on either side of her face. “What’s wrong, baby? Do you need a doctor?”
She shoved him back down on the bed, beneath her. “Got ya.”
“That was too far, Isabelle Chambers. Not fair.”
His face boiled an angry shade of red but she leaned down, gave him a loud kiss, and jumped off the bed. “If I have learned anything, it’s that nothing in life is fair.” She laughed and rushed to the door. “I’ll be right back.”
****
He practiced patience, not one of his better qualities. When she returned, it appeared as though a vending machine exploded in her arms, and she rushed to spill it on the bed as if she’d just scored the biggest jackpot. He did, with her.
“I didn’t know what you liked, so I bought one of everything.” She shrugged her shoulders. “You can’t watch a movie without snacks.”
She dumped the assortment of candies and chips on the bed and climbed under the covers with him. The mountain of sugar held her attention while he scrolled through their options on the TV. He glanced at her every few seconds. He loved her, and the next perfect moment with her, he’d shout it out loud. No more whispers.
A movie, with her, was priceless. He laughed, hard, every time she yelled in an animated voice at the TV whenever a female character crossed right into the path of the killer in the horror flick he selected.
She threw a chip at the screen. “This is the reason us blondes get a bad rep. Run in the other direction, stupid.” She threw her hands in the air, and sunk back into the pillows with him. “I give up. They never learn.”
He smiled and kissed her forehead. “It’s just a movie, baby.”
When the credits and music played, he held the remote up and paused. One of our songs would sound cool at the end of a horror movie. He made a mental note to run the idea by Tony, and shut the TV off.
She nestled into his arms and lay there, quiet. After a long silence, he assumed she’d drifted to sleep, so he eased the cover up over her, but she snuggled in closer.
“Thank you, for everything.”
When she stretched, uneaten junk food trickled to the floor. They giggled. He needed to say something to her. It was getting to heavy to keep it in.
“Isabelle?”
“Mmhmm?”
“I’m scared, too, you know, of my feelings for you. You should know…” He placed the forearm that didn’t hold the woman of his dreams, over his eyes and closed them. The dark couldn`t hide enough. “Everything I have said to you, I’ve meant.”
He didn’t know whether his earlier words, I love you, were loud enough for her to take in. In case they were, he needed her to know he’d intended to say it. It wasn’t something thrown out in the heat of passion.
She sighed, but the dark room kept him from her beautiful face, he couldn’t tell what it signified.
“I didn’t count on this experience leading me to you and the guys. I care about you all. If things were different.” She laughed. “The guys would have a blast getting to know the girls. I have a feeling my group of friends would mesh with yours and create a lifelong bond of friendship and love.”
She trailed off at the end, as if the words pained her. He didn’t know what to make of it. He veered his gaze in the darkened room, to her journal on the nightstand. She said the word love but it didn’t sound like a declaration.
“Speaking of. The girls want to get matching tattoos tomorrow. What can we get?”
It didn’t take long to brainstorm ideas; he had experience. She yawned, a lot. He fixed the blanket over them, and even though their topic of conversation reminded him they would say good-bye soon, she needed her rest.
“I just want to memorize what it’s like to have you in my arms, if that’s all I’ll ever have.” It sounded pathetic, his voice low, choked up. They laid in silence for a long time. Sleep seemed impossible. He evened out his breath and closed his eyes, didn’t want her to stay awake because he couldn’t relax.
“I love you,” she whispered.
He fell asleep with a smile.