POV: Lyra
Orion's chest cavity ached at the words 'sad by myself'. When I started pulling up the covers and was about to slip the rest of my body under the sheets, he lifted my body up and placed me on his lap. After guiding my head to his chest, he muttered, "You don't have to be sad by yourself, Lyra. You can be sad with me. We'll get through this together. I love you, baby. It's okay for you to break down in front of me. Please stop trying to hold everything back. Let it all out. Let it all out with me."
I couldn't hold back any longer. I broke down with an anguished cry, and sobbed in Orion's chest as I let the feelings of lack and unworthiness flow through me. My optical fluid soaked part of his shirt. Without allowing these emotions to pass through my being, I would never be free. The sensations would just build up and make me uncomfortable and drained.
Orion stroked my hand and shoulder as he continued letting me cry into his chest. His chest cavity ached at the increasing wetness. Every sniffle and sob seemed to pain him deeply. His Lyrokan consciousness was not helping when it broke down in distress at the scene as well.
Unworthy and insecure. Orion thought about what I'd said. After knowing about my past, it wasn't surprising to learn that I felt that way. And he wasn't sure whether to be grateful or devastated by the fact that I no longer had a tendency to be jealous.
Life had thrown so many instances my way to trigger that rage within me that I was now able to ignore that feeling altogether. I would rather walk away in hurt than allow jealousy to make me fight against someone to get someone else. This thought pained Orion. His beautiful and selfless match had been through so much. Yet it seems that such things never stop happening to me.
Even when I'd stopped crying, he continued to hold me and stroke me lovingly. Neither of us said a word to each other. Suddenly, I sat upright on his lap. He was about to ask how I was feeling but when he saw my eyes glaze over with the telltale sign of mind-touch, he fell silent and continued holding me as he waited.
Juan was activating our private link. Lyra, how are you, really?
I'm fine now. Orion's here. He made me cry everything out with him. I'm okay now. Don't worry.
There was a pause before Juan linked a response. He's good to you, Lyra. There's no reason to question his loyalty. There's no need to feel insecure.
He knew me so well. I was quiet for a moment before I linked back. I guess that's true. I just... get so frustrated that I'm never able to not feel this, to not feel... unworthy.
You are worthy, Lyra. We all see it. You have no idea the impact you have on the lives of everyone you meet. So much so that we would terminate for you. You saw everyone tonight. We were ready to terminate three people just to keep you. All of us would've done it without hesitation, especially your match. Those three wouldn't have left the hall alive tonight had you not stopped us, had you not stopped him.
What happened tonight with everyone emitting threatening frequencies was definitely... unexpected.
Juan scoffed through our link. For you, maybe. But not for the rest of us. You're worth more than you know, Lyra.
Why do I still feel like this sometimes? Why doesn't it ever go away?
Give yourself time, Lyra. You've been through more than anyone we know. Let him be there for you.
It's not like he's going to let me shut him out anyway. He practically forced me to let him stay on my rest platform tonight when he saw through the front I was putting up.
Juan chuckled. That's good. I'll bring some clothes over for him in a few minutes.
And Juan... thank you for not mentioning anything at dinner. You saw through me, too. But you didn't say anything. Thank you.
Juan chuckled again before he linked back. Anything for my little sister. I'll see you in a bit.
I ended the mind-touch. Orion's concerned gaze fell on me when I explained in a much steadier voice, "That was just Juan checking up on me. I told him that you were staying the night so he's coming down in a moment with some clothes for you to change."
When I climbed out of his lap, he held my arms and asked frantically, "Where are you going?" Was she avoiding me again?
I simply said, "The cleansing chamber. I want to wash off the tear stains before Juan gets here. I don't want him to worry about me any more than he already is."
Orion still refused to release me as he said firmly, "You do know that I'm okay with worrying about you, don't you? You don't have to mask anything to stop me from worrying about you, Lyra. I hope you know that."
My lips managed a slight upward curl and I nodded before saying, "I know. Thank you." Orion was relieved to hear those words, and pressed his lips to the back of my hands before letting me go to the cleansing chamber.
He watched as I used cold synthesized water on my face. Orion was only brought out of his daze when he heard a knock on the door. He got up to open it, and Juan was standing there with a folded set of shirt and pants.
As he was handing over the clothes, Juan asked Orion in a hushed voice, "How is she?"
Orion accepted the clothes, and pondered for a moment before he frowned and muttered, "Just because she's strong doesn't mean she deserves to go through these emotional turmoils. Why does life give someone like her so much to deal with?"
Juan smiled sadly and whispered, not wanting me to hear them, "You have no idea how many of us want to know the answer to that question, Your Eminence."
I came to the door as soon as Juan finished saying that. He offered me an embrace. We held each other for only a short moment before bidding each other goodnight.
Orion changed in the cleansing chamber, and tucked me into the rest platform after that. He pressed his lips to my forehead before whispering a firm and clear 'I love you' into my ear. When I muttered a soft 'I know', he smiled and pressed a kiss on my cheek.
Relief washed over him and his Lyrokan. He went to the auxiliary rest platform and fell asleep as soon as he saw my own eyelids fall in the dark.
In a recreational center in the station's lower levels, Livia slammed her communicator on the counter after speaking to her aunt. On the high seat next to her, Sasha's hopeful eyes turned dark. Livia didn't have to say anything. Her reaction pretty much told Sasha the gist of what she wanted to know.