Beep
A soft beeping fills the room, causing annoyance to bubble inside me. The pain from earlier is finally gone and all I want is sleep.
Beep
There it goes again. I sigh, exasperated, realizing that this sound isn’t going to stop until someone turns off the stupid machine making said noise.
Beep
Groaning, I open my heavy eyes and see a spotless white ceiling above me. The room is dimly lit, making the otherwise sterile room comfortable for me to open my tired eyes without flinching.
Beep
My eyes search the room for where the sound comes from until finally, I notice a scattering of strange machines only for my gaze to land on the one machine causing that awful noise. A stupid heartbeat monitor glares and blares back at me, the steady beeping monitoring my heart beat. I wish that someone would shut it off so that I can return to peace and quiet.
“How are you feeling, beautiful?” My head turns to a hoarse voice as I catch Tate smiling at me with relief. He looks haggard and tired with dark circles under his eyes. He scoots over on the chair he’s sitting on to come closer to the bed where I lay, taking my hand in his as he places a soft kiss on the back of my hand.
“I feel numb and not as bloated. Why do I feel normal again?” I answer, a frown on my lips. My limbs refuse to move for me to rest my hand on my stomach, to feel the twins inside me, my ritual at this point. I go to turn my head, but Tate stops me, forcing me to look into his eyes as he gives me a sad smile.
“Before you look, listen to me.” He says in a sad tone, his green eyes tearing up as a weak smile plays at his lips. A bad omen tugs at my heart as he kisses my forehead and takes a deep breath inhaling my scent.
“The doctor tried to do everything he could. Only one of them made it.” His words are soft and slow, and silence follows as what he just said begins to sink in. With eyes widening and tears blurring my vision before they cascade down my face, my heart begins to break when everything settles.
I lost one.
My babies... and I lost one.
“Hush, Laina, it’s going to be okay.” Tate consoles climbing into the bed with me and wrapping me in his arms. I clutch at his shirt as I bury my face into his chest, letting out heart-wrenching sobs. All the praying I did to save my twins did nothing. One had died on me and now I feel like a failure of a mother. But that is because I am, I failed my babied in keeping them safe.
“W-What h-happened?” I hiccup out through my sobs pleadingly. I need to know how one of the twins died.
“The umbilical cord choked her to death. Somehow, she managed to get it wrapped around her neck, and her sister tried to help free her on instinct. That’s why you bled so much.” I couldn’t help but feel pride for the sisterly love the two had built inside my womb, but my sobs grow knowing that the two would never grow up together. The daydreams I pictured of two little pups chasing each other around the home Tate and I built in the last few days shatter as sadness takes hold of me.
Knowing they will never grow up together breaks everything inside me, that they will never celebrate their birthday, or gossip about boys. That they will never plan on what path in life to take. Pure sorrow fills my heart and mind and I let the pain take over as I cry my broken heart out.
Suddenly, the sound of a tiny wail breaks my sorrowful state and brings me back to my senses. Tate sighs, brushing away the stray tears on my face and kissing my eyelids before getting up and making his way to the end of the bed. The sound of wailing comes from a wooden bassinet I hadn’t noticed before, a bassinet that Tate reaches over and rises with a pink bundle in his arms, a soft smile on his face. He slightly bounces the fluffy bundle while making his way back to me.
“Hush, little one. Mommy just woke up and is hurting too. You’ll be in her arms soon.” He coos as the tiny bundle quiets slightly but continues its little sobs.
“Is she...?” I ask hopefully, my eyes following the tiny, crying baby in his arms.
“Yes. She is your - I mean – she is our little girl, our daughter.” He answers with a loving smile as he passes the bundled-up baby into my waiting arms. I find myself enamoured as I stare down at the little pup, her cries silencing as she settles into my embrace. I smile at her, wiping tears off of her tiny little face and watching her doze off once again now that she is safe in my embrace.
“Hi, sweetie. Welcome to the world.” I whisper, gently kissing her face while Tate climbs into the bed with us. He wraps his arms around me, letting me lean into his chest as we just sit in the quiet room. Well, an almost quiet room. That stupid heartbeat monitor needs to be destroyed.
“Hello, Alpha I- oh- Luna, you’re awake.” A nurse greets as she approaches the room with a bottle suited for a newborn in her hand. She stops at the door, smiling at the three of us as her eyes glaze over. I have a feeling she is linking someone before her focus returns to the three of us in the bed.
“I was going to come to feed the little princess, but would you like to?” She asked, coming to my side of the bed and extending the bottle towards me.
“Actually, I wanted to breastfeed her if that’s okay.” I state, wanting to refuse the formula-filled bottle. I watch as the nurse sends a sympathetic smile my way as she takes one of my hands gently and places the bottle into it before backing away a respectful distance.
“Unfortunately Luna, because of the drugs used during the operation, you will be unable to breastfeed. I’m sorry to ruin your plans.” She says quietly. I nod dejectedly at her, knowing that some medications can affect the breastmilk of a nursing mother and decide that arguing with her will bring nothing. I move the bottle to a more comfortable position in my hand, bringing the rubber nipple to my baby’s lips and coax her into accepting it, smiling happily as she proceeds to drink knowing that she will need the nutrients to grow.
“You’re a natural!” The nurse states, and I smile at her enthusiasm.
“I used to babysit and help out at the pack hospital at my old Pack. I learned how to care for pups and how to coax newborns into drinking from a bottle.” I answer my eyes, never leaving the pup in my arms. I watch as the nurse visibly relax with my words and guess that she probably knows I’m sixteen and most likely thought I wouldn’t know how to raise my own child with me being so young.
“That’s good to know. The doctor will be in tomorrow morning, and another nurse will come to bring the next bottle when you need it. I’ll leave the three of you now to enjoy the rest of your evening. Have a good night, Alpha Tate and Luna Laina.” The nurse gives a respectful bow before exiting the room. Tate and I stay silent, both of us enjoying the calm night as our baby sips at her bottle. Soon, with the bottle empty and the little pup burped, Tate takes her away to have her diaper changed before placing her back into her bassinet.
He crawls back into bed with me after moving the bassinet to my side of the bed, both of us needing sleep after the last few days we’ve had. Snuggling into my mate’s embrace, I close my eyes and let my exhausted body have the rest it needs. Between the traumatic birth of my pup and learning the loss of the other, I need to let my body and mind settle if I am to be a good mother to the little one sleeping soundly beside me.