I was drowning in anticipation for a meeting that would strip away everything I thought I knew about desire, power, and myself.
I woke to the sound of my own heartbeat. Today was just another day, I told myself. Another day before everything changed.
"Good morning, Your Highness." Lady Meredith swept into the room with forced cheerfulness. "Such a glorious day to explore the palace!"
"Indeed," I replied, though my voice sounded hollow even to my own ears.
After breakfast, we ventured out into the palace grounds. I'd hoped the distraction might calm my nerves, but everything here felt like a test I was destined to fail.
The architecture was stunning, all soaring arches and golden stone that seemed to glow from within, but there was something underneath the beauty that made my skin crawl.
"Oh, look at those fountains!" Cordelia exclaimed, pointing to a series of marble sculptures depicting figures in various stages of… explicit intimacy between lovers.
I turned away quickly. "Perhaps we should visit the rose garden instead."
"The roses are lovely," a smooth voice said behind us. "But the night-blooming jasmine in the Pleasure Garden is truly spectacular."
I turned to find a woman in her twenties approaching, her auburn hair twisted into an elegant knot. Her gown was beautiful but far more revealing than anything worn at the Veridian court.
"Lady Vivienne Ashford," she said with a curtsy. "I believe we'll be sharing some... educational experiences together."
My stomach dropped. "You're here for the training as well?"
"My third time, actually." Her laugh was light, but I caught something calculating in her eyes. "I'm about to marry Duke Garrett's youngest son next month. The family insisted I refresh my skills."
"Third time?" Meredith whispered.
"Oh yes, it's quite common here. Aurelion believes in thorough preparation." Vivienne's gaze swept over me appraisingly. "You must be Princess Penelope. One of the candidates to marry Crown Prince Luka."
"I am."
"How exciting! He's quite... demanding, from what I hear." She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I do hope you're ready for what's expected of you."
Before I could respond, she glided away, leaving me standing there with my mouth dry and my hands trembling.
"What a strange woman," Meredith murmured.
Strange wasn't the word I'd use, threatening was more like it.
We continued our tour, but I found myself increasingly on edge. Nobles whispered behind their fans when I passed, their eyes following me with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.
The Fae servants moved through the halls like ghosts, their single wings catching the light. Every time I looked at them, I thought of chains and magic and the things they'd been forced to learn.
"Princess," Cordelia said softly as we walked past a pair of ornate doors. "Isn't that the entrance to the—"
"Don't." I didn't even look.
I knew exactly what lay beyond those doors, and I wasn't ready to face it yet.
That afternoon, I encountered more of the other "candidates," as they called us. A group of young women from various noble houses, all here for the same purpose.
They clustered together in the palace gardens, giggling and whispering like schoolgirls.
"I wonder what he's like," one of them said, a blonde with eager eyes. "The Head Adept, I mean."
"Probably devastatingly handsome," another replied. "They say he's trained half the noble ladies in the kingdom."
"I heard he's incredibly... gifted," the first girl said, and they all dissolved into laughter.
I walked past them quickly, but their words followed me. They were excited. Actually excited about what was coming.
What was wrong with me that I felt only dread?
Back in my chambers, I tried to convince myself this was just politics. Another duty, like learning to dance or speak foreign languages. I'd been trained my whole life to do what was expected of me, this was no different.
Except it was. Everything about this was different.
"This is just another skill to master," I said aloud to my reflection. "Nothing more."
But my reflection looked just as unconvinced as I felt.
The hours crawled by. Dinner came and went, I barely touched my food. My ladies retired early, chattering about tomorrow's "adventure" until I wanted to scream.
Night fell, and with it came the sounds from the Pleasure Gardens. Soft music, distant laughter, and those other sounds that made my cheeks burn.
I pulled my pillow over my head, but I could still hear them.
Laying there in the dark, I stared at the ceiling, every muscle tense. My mind raced with images of what tomorrow might bring.
A soft knock interrupted my spiraling thoughts.
"Come in," I called, sitting up quickly.
A young servant girl entered, her head bowed. "Your Highness, I bring word from the Training Academy."
My heart stopped. "Yes?"
"The Head Adept expects you at dawn tomorrow. You're to come alone."
"I... yes. Of course." The girl curtsied and left without another word.
I sat there in the darkness, the silence pressing down on me like a weight. Dawn felt both impossibly far away and terrifyingly close.
"I'm ready," I whispered to the empty room. But even as the words left my lips, I knew I was lying.