Sabrina lay in the aftermath feeling something strangely close to victory. Vlad was asleep beside her— a first. In those hours he spent in the lounge nursing his vodka, she’d come to certain conclusions. Vlad found comfort in their physical relationship. It assuaged something in him that he could not or would not name for her. He didn’t want to know about Alex or her, because he lived very much in the present. He didn’t want the emotional connection such information would provide. So Sabrina had decided she would be for him what he wanted her to be: a sexual partner, someone with whom he could find release and oblivion. He didn’t want to tell her about his baggage and apparently, he didn’t want to know about hers.
She, too, could learn to be content in the present.
****
Mrs. Egan arrived that afternoon to help with Alex so Sabrina could interview for a graphic design position. She would officially receive her college degree in a couple of months, but her grades were in, and she had passed her final year with a very respectable GPA. Although she was being interviewed for a very junior level position, Sabrina shrugged her mental shoulders; everybody had to start somewhere.
They had only been back in New York for a week, and Sabrina’s fears were all but realized. Vlad dove back into work with a string of eighteen-hour days as had always been his norm. She knew that it was to be expected after an absence of almost two weeks for him to attend to business.
So there was already no time left over for her, and Sabrina knew she needed to work and she needed to take care of herself because, pathetically, she was still pining for him. Every day that Vlad failed to come back home for dinner or worse, stayed completely away from them until the wee hours, she withered a little more.
Mrs. Egan knocked, and then poked her head inside the small room off her bedroom Sabrina used as an office.
“Just letting you know I’m here, love. So you can go to that interview whenever you’re ready to.”
Sabrina looked up from where she sat cross-legged on the sofa. She shook her head trying to articulate to Mrs. Egan what she herself had only just begun to process.
“Good, I…thanks. I’m just a little…I don’t know whether…I just found out…I’m pregnant.”
There was a pause in which Mrs. Egan’s shrewd brown eyes took in Sabrina’s pale face and red-rimmed eyes.
“Now that’s grand news, m’dear, isn’t it? But you’re tired, it’s true, I can see that. You rest up and you’ll feel a bit more like yourself soon, I promise.”
Mrs. Egan wasted no time in crossing the room to place a motherly arm around Sabrina’s shoulders to give her a hug. Of course, Mrs. Egan couldn’t help but be thrilled. But Sabrina was still in a daze of disbelief.
In the week since they had returned from Italy, Sabrina had noticed a few things. There was no change in her low energy level, quite the opposite; she felt like napping at all times of day. Her appetite was ravenous and for odd things like baked potatoes and peanut butter ice cream. So she finally worked up the nerve to buy a pregnancy kit and had done the test this morning.
Her lack of energy, her weird food cravings, her super-abundant, sensitive breasts all had a cause. She was expecting a baby.
Sabrina asked Mrs. Egan to come back for a few afternoons when she could during the rest of the week to help her cope with her active three year old when all she wanted to do was sleep.
The thought of telling Vlad was enough to bring on a fresh bout of nausea. She didn’t even know how they had slipped up. Vlad had been scrupulous in using protection.
Though of late, contraceptives would never have been an issue. Most often, she was asleep by the time Vlad came in, well after dinner. Since he was out most mornings before she appeared for breakfast, they hadn’t had more than one stilted conversation since they had returned from their honeymoon.
Every fear Sabrina harbored about life with Vlad post-honeymoon had come to fruition and then some. Could anything be worse than the prospect of telling Vlad about a baby? Her body was changing. Her breasts were literally pouring out of her bra, and that was just the beginning. How would Vlad feel when her waist ballooned and she waddled? Every emotion she experienced was magnified by the hormones coursing through her body. She was scared, she was angry; she was teary—all in rapid succession. Most of all, she was so very tired.
Vlad had shut her down when she tried to confess the truth about Alex’s parentage. He didn’t want any emotional connection, and he didn’t need any more information about them than he already had. He had
obviously made up his mind to jump right back into his twenty-four-seven, workaholic lifestyle, not allowing his unwanted roommates to hamper his routine.
Well, that was about to happen big time. Sabrina had a vision of how Vlad might cope with this unwanted news. He would continue his retreat into work and keep the semblance of their marriage for the public eye. And hey, the prospect of a new baby would be great fodder for the PR machine wouldn’t it? Out of the public eye, she would be lonely and alone. Would he find another bedmate when she became so big and unwieldy that she completely turned him off?
Sabrina cried herself to sleep. When Mrs. Egan appeared with a cup of tea much later, Sabrina felt slightly calmer, but still without a clue as to how she would give Vlad the news that he was going to be a father.
Alex wanted to give Vlad the framed photo of them walking together in Capri, and he helped Sabrina wrap it. For two days, Sabrina had to stop Alex from actually sleeping with the parcel because he wanted to have it ready to give Vlad the next time he saw him. Sabrina knew that sometimes Alex and Vlad crossed paths at breakfast. Of late, Sabrina found it so difficult to get going in the morning that she usually entered the kitchen after Vlad left it, knowing Alex would come to no harm under Mrs. Field’s watchful eye.
Mrs. Field reported a serious case of hero worship, as Alex wanted to emulate everything Vlad did. Alex even asked the housekeeper to give him coffee the previous morning.
This night, Vlad appeared earlier than usual, directly after their dinner. Alex ran back into his room to retrieve the gift.
“Dad, here. A present from me and Rina.”
It was the photo of Alex and Vlad walking up a hill in Capri, the quaint sundrenched houses and bountiful lemon trees behind them, Alex on Vlad’s shoulders and both of them relaxed and grinning when she captured the shot.
They all admired the photo, and Vlad thanked Alex solemnly for the gift. Alex beamed.
Then Mrs. Egan, who never saw a good reason not to, weighed in.
“I didn’t think it was a good idea at first, you know, for Alex to join you two on a honeymoon, even this sweet little guy.” She gave Alex an affectionate chuff on his chin. “But now with the new little one coming, isn’t it wonderful Alex and Mr. Grigory had that time together? Alex will treasure the memory of his alone time with his daddy.”
Sabrina froze.
Vlad paled as if trying to process the stream of consciousness speech that was pure Mrs. Egan. Clearly, at a loss for words, he placed his hands on the marble countertop and visibly gathered himself up to his impressive six foot three.
“Sabrina? Can we speak for a moment in my office?” He turned without waiting for her response and left the room.