The final fitting for her wedding dress and the full-out, girlie hair and spa day she had scheduled had gone from an indulgence to pure necessity. Sabrina never had the time or the money to really pamper herself in the past, and she barely gave such things a thought in her former life. And yet, if she were honest, she secretly knew she would enjoy the experience of being fussed over to the max. Had looked forward to it even, before the revelation of the last couple of days.
But one look in the mirror told her that her every worry and fear about Alex and Vlad’s true relationship showed in her face. The prospect that their guests and the full force of the media at their wedding would see her at her absolute worst galvanized Sabrina into action. She went in like a knight girding up for battle in her suit of armor, a self-protective measure, a thin layer of confidence against the paparazzi she would face the next day. She had her spa day, but with all of the fun and relaxation sucked out of it.
****
Sabrina shivered as she stood alone outside the enormous carved doors waiting for the music to begin, relieved that Vlad had not organized a church wedding. She thought it would be the hypocritical icing on the public relations cake to ask God to bless their union. Apparently, Vlad saw it the same way.
The room was nearly as gorgeous as Tomas, the wedding planner, had predicted in his hyperbolic description. Waist-high marble planters held an overflowing abundance of pale peonies and curling ivy, all flower designs by Lacey, at the head and foot of the long aisle that ran the length of the largest reception room at the Pierre, and in strategic positions around the perimeter. Their guests sat on either side of the aisle and when a low guitar started a mellow Russian classical number, Sabrina began her lone walk up the aisle.
Her long, ivory satin column gown was traditional, but she wore no veil, only a thin twine of pearls and tiny lily of the valley coiled through the low chignon of her hair.
She wore the emerald riviere necklace Vlad had sent to the apartment last night, and the jewels at her neck glittered and shone into every corner of the enormous mirrored ballroom. She knew the stones stood in stark contrast to the pallid color her skin in her off-the-shoulder gown.
His eyes met hers and his were somber and clear. Meeting his gaze, Sabrina’s step faltered a bit, the hands holding the bouquet of gardenia and jasmine shaking before she jammed her hands into the center of her waist as Tomas had instructed.
“You want to be graceful, Sabrina. Walk like a princess. Stand tall. You will do this!”
Sabrina’s eyes crinkled up as she remembered his words and she gave Tomas a little nod as he stood in the far corner of the ballroom, clipboard and earpiece in place, as she completed her solitary walk up the aisle. No amount of wisdom from Tomas would help her at this moment, Sabrina knew. Vlad looked stunning in his Tom Ford evening suit and she couldn’t take her eyes off the height and breadth of him after a deficit of three weeks.
Even after all she had so recently come to suspect about him, he still had the power to pull her in as no one else ever had or probably ever would. She was disgusted at herself; she hadn’t slept and had barely
eaten for two nights because all she could think of was her mother and Vlad as lovers. After the ceremony, when they had a moment alone, she would speak to him and tell him what she knew. He would probably be accepting of the situation, because he had saddled himself to them anyway. But the intimacy they had shared would be over. She knew that. Even though she still thought he was the hottest thing on two legs, she couldn’t imagine ever being with him again in a sexual way. She welcomed the concept of their long distance marriage now. But then she realized as Alex’s father, Vlad would probably want to see Alex on a regular basis. She would have to make sure she was absent on those occasions he visited. Otherwise, how would she survive seeing him and not having him? Disgusted with herself all over again, Sabrina refocused on the present and realized she had reached the head of the aisle.
The ceremony was a modern recitation of vows so when the time came, Sabrina was surprised to see Vlad take a ring from his best man. It was an intricate affair, three circles of hammered gold intertwined. One ring was yellow gold; the others were red gold and white gold.
Sabrina’s only attendant, Lacey, gorgeous in a deep blue satin cocktail dress, handed her the male version of the same ring to place on Vlad’s right ring finger. Somehow, Sabrina hadn’t thought Vlad would want a ring. But then she remembered that this entire day was an artificial production for the benefit of the press— there were discreet cameras everywhere. Wake up, Sabrina! This is all for the worldwide audience.
And still she felt a strong measure of satisfaction when she placed that ring on his hand, even though her fingers shook during the entire process. She was a fool.
Then Vlad was bending his head to kiss her chastely on the lips, and the hard warmth of his lips and his big hands grasping her chilled shoulders had Sabrina leaning forward almost as if she would curl into him and be stroked like the kitten he likened her to. Yuck! She hated her inability to disguise her response to him, especially in front of this huge audience. Then Vlad set her back from him, and they walked hand in hand back down the aisle to uproarious applause.
And the show was only beginning. The headache and nauseous stomach of the past two days, since her discovery of that photo reasserted itself with a vengeance. Sabrina could only be grateful that a five o’clock wedding on a Sunday evening had to mean that most people, of necessity, would not be able to party all night at what Tomas had called the wedding of the decade.
Alex was dressed in a toddler version of the tuxedo Vlad wore and charmed everyone with his shy smile as he nibbled on a continuous series of Russian snowflake cookies. The cucumber and radish salad and the caviar and smoked salmon were too exotic for him to want to sample and he’d only a small helping of the noodles from his beef stroganoff. Mrs. Egan sat near them at the head table and whisked Alex away with a promise of warm milk and some rest before their wee hours’ overseas flight.
With Alex well looked after, Sabrina knew that Vlad expected her to be front and center with him as he chatted with nearly every important person he had invited. She was locked at his side, his arm about her waist, the top of her head reaching the top of his shoulder. Sabrina recognized politicos and movers and shakers from every level of New York business and government as well as sizable cadres from D.C. and Europe. A few faces she recalled from the functions she had so recently attended with Vlad, but the vast majority were people she had only ever seen in glossy magazines or on the business news.
Those that had already passed through the receiving line were feasting and dancing, and suddenly the noise and the crowd became overwhelming. Sabrina looked up at Vlad, and in an instant, he gave her an all- encompassing glance before halting his well-wisher’s greeting mid-stream.
“Pardon us for a moment, Senator, my wife needs a break, and I think something to eat.”
Hearing him say ‘wife’ somehow sent a shaft of pure possessiveness through her the like of which she hadn’t felt even through the typical promises of the civil ceremony. He drew her closer while he signaled a passing waiter and created a small plate of blini for her. Sabrina forced herself to nibble at it. She felt hungry but the rich, traditional food didn’t appeal. Instead, she scooped up some caviar on a sliver of cucumber and washed it down with champagne
“I don’t know what you’ve been doing these past weeks, but eating hasn’t been high on the list,” he commented. She knew the biggest reason her healthy curves had dwindled was her knowledge of that photo of her mother in his desk and what it meant, but she couldn’t start the discussion she wanted in the middle of this crowd.
“I’ve been busy, same as you,” she responded.
It took effort to sound careless because if being next to him in the receiving line was difficult, being the sole focus of his navy eyes taking in every detail of her appearance was truly unnerving. She had missed him. He had been absent for three weeks, and he thought she looked like she was fading away. It was embarrassing. What was that word people used to use? Pining? Sabrina lifted her chin.
“The food is great.” She changed the subject, selecting some smoked salmon and brown bread from the overflowing buffet display and making a show of eating it. The food and drink was arrayed in a series of long tables featuring a variety of exotic delicacies and including two over-the-top ice sculptures, one for caviar and one for vodka. She helped herself to a champagne and sipped. At least she didn’t feel faint anymore.
“I’m going to just freshen up, then I’ll find you back here on the receiving line, okay?”
Not wanting to look at his hard profile for his response, Sabrina slipped away and out through the ornate doors that led out into the hallway outside the ballroom in search of the bride’s designated powder room.
She was glad to escape the crowd and most of all she was desperate to escape Vlad. It was torture to stand in the circle of his arm and accept well wishes on their marriage, knowing there was now one more lie to pile onto to those that already existed between them. That was the most horrible fact she had to grapple with: her complete inability to stop wanting him in spite of all she now knew. She should run as fast as she could away from this situation, away from him but she couldn’t and most humiliating of all, she knew she didn’t want to. She wanted to stay with him in spite of it all. She didn’t recognize herself. Who was this needy, emotional basket case?
She ran cold water over her wrists, reapplied her makeup, and was feeling marginally more collected when she emerged from the restroom. She walked forward sliding her lip-gloss back in her tiny purse when she bumped into a man standing directly in front of the powder room door.