"May I come in?" He said.
"I am not dressed!" I stammered unnecessarily.
"It's okay you look fine," Marc murmured with raised eyebrows. "Do you think you could make me a cup of your excellent tea and then we can talk? "
I shrugged helplessly." I suppose so if you will just wait until I dress."
"It won't be necessary! You are adequately covered," he said with a glance at my bathrobe.
I stood there silently but I was aware of Marc's figure destructing the atmosphere of the kitchen as I placed the kettle on the gas and set two cups on the table.
"Would you like something to eat as well? Have you Eaten?" I inquired.
"Yes, I am hungry. could you please make something for me? I confess I could not sleep I've been thinking, walking around the town since quite early." He came and sat at the table and watched me intently as I prepared the food. "So tell me did you have the time to consider my proposal again are you still on the same mind?
"It wouldn't make any difference Marc," I stared intently at the teapot carefully, avoiding Marc's eyes.
"so! You find my proposal too distasteful?"
"I don't want to talk about it, Just leave it, please! I but I must warn you," I added. "I will fight to have Tio visit me here, you won't have everything your way!"
"Did you keep the correspondence from the early days of our separation?" Marc asked abruptly.
"Why do you want to know about it?" I asked curiously.
"If you have kept those letters then you could easily prevent me from taking Tio to Milan. Legally that is," he added in a plain conversation " Surely your lawyer told you this?" As I remained silent he continued. "Why have you decided not to fight with me for custody, Carmen?"
" I haven't," I said abruptly.
"I think so." I heard Marc stretch and shift on his chair and then I heard the sound of the chair being pushed away from the table as he rose and walked the short distance towards me.
"Shall I tell you why you are not going to press the case?" he said softly.
I felt his hand grip my shoulders gently as he said, "You don't know." Inwardly I began to feel a rising panic at his words. Surely he could not have guessed about my plans to disappear with Tio? I stiffened as he began to draw me unyieldingly in his arms.
"Well let me ask you something then." He continued. " when do you intend to marry Don Wilde?"
"You said I couldn't get a divorce!" I protested weakly, overwhelmingly conscious of the nearness of the man I loved so dearly.
I felt his hand grip my shoulders gently as he said, "You don't know." Inwardly I began to feel a rising panic at his words.
And I wondered whether he had followed me.
Surely he could not have guessed about my plans to disappear with Tio? I stiffened as he began to draw me unyieldingly in his arms. His eyes held mine.
"Well let me ask you again then." He continued. " when do you intend to marry Don Wilde?"
"You said I couldn't get a divorce!" I protested helplessly. I could be like this with him forever but I knew I couldn't be greedy for he wanted his son, not me. And there was no trust in our relationship.
"If, for the sake of argument, I agreed to give you a divorce, what then?" Marc asked and looked at me probingly. It was as if he was trying to read my mind.
"I don't know," I said as my mind had stopped working. Before I went to Milan I only wanted to divorce him and marry Don but things have changed now and I know I will never be able to marry anyone because I still love Marc.
Abruptly Marc turned me to face him, grasping my chin firmly in his hand and staring intently at my expressive face.
"Let me answer the question for you, Carmen. The answer is never! you will never marry Don. Do you understand? You were never going to marry Don. I went to see your fiancé today after you left the hospital and don't worry, I have not broken his limbs. He is still in one piece." He said after he looked at my horrified expression. "There will be no more lawsuits against me."
My eyes had gone wide in shock as he was saying the exact things which were going on in my head but what he said next surprised me. And I never expected him to go and Don.
"However, he did give me a long lecture on what he thought of me. And believe me, his comments were to the point and very clear and not exactly complementary to my character." Marc shook his head, " After my conversation with you yesterday I was really troubled. I began to see things clearly, which I had all the way long ignored from my consciousness. His comments merely served as an eye-opener for me for the stupidity of my past behaviour."
Hastily he released his hold on me and went to stare outside the window. " I realized I was far too ready to doubt you in the early months of our marriage. I was a fool, Carmen but my experience with women had not encouraged me to trust you. I never told you about my past because I didn't want to hurt you but I didn't have the right to judge the way I did back then."
He gave an uncertain gesture and continued, " I believe that subconsciously, I always knew that you were not interested in my money. When Mathias first told me that you were not willing to come to Milan to see me when I had the accident, I was angry. And when he said that he did not believe you were that sort of a woman to be interested in my money, I laughed at him, but secretly I suspected and hoped that it was true. Mathias could not understand why I became even angrier when you finally came to Milan only because you agreed to my mother's wishes."
"I realized that it is asking a great deal to expect you to forgive me, Carmen. My behaviour has been selfish and cruel to the extreme. My only defence is that the jealousy which I felt where you were concerned ruled out any possibility of the same reaction." He shrugged defensively. " Also your actions at the time were not always designed to set my mind at rest. You were so naive and you trusted people very easily. And Taylor ...what was I to think when I came home unexpectedly and found you in his arms? I could have killed him!" His hand trembled with remembered violence.
He turned and walked towards me once more, placing his hands on my shoulders in a gentle gesture. " Now you understand? He said quietly. "You are never going to marry Don or anyone else. You are mine, do you hear me? You belong only to me and I shall never permit you to leave me again! "
With a fiercely possessive gesture, he gathered me into his arms, his Mouth descending firmly on my own demanding an instant response from my trembling lips. "Can you deny that you want me?" He murmured unsteadily after a few nerve-shattering moments.
Can I deny it?
"No! It is true, I do want you," I said shaking away. "But I don't want to come back with you to Milan, Marc." I had to save my face and being emotional will not bring any solution.
"So! You still believe the story you were told by Bella Costa....?" He asked after a few seconds.
"How did you know?" I asked.
Marc lifted his unsteady hand and began to smooth my damp hair from my brow.
"Mathias told me. I shall have some things to say to Bella Costa when we return to Milan! That woman should get a nice beating for butting her ass into someone else's affairs."
"Marc you are such a selfish brute, we would have parted anyway as I couldn't have turned a blind eye to finding you in bed with Bella like that. Whatever she said is true after all and she had been your lover for god knows how long." I said in a dejected tone.
"What you saw did not part us, Carmen." He said flatly. "Taylor did."
I felt shattered then, couldn't he see it? Couldn't he understand? Was he so blind to his betrayal of me, to my pain, that he could honestly believe, I would have agreed to ignore his infidelity.
"It's impossible." I groaned, putting my hands to my face. " we talk a different language, Marc. I can't accept that a man has the right to break his marriage vows while a woman is expected to be faithful to them." I lowered my hands, my face had gone white. " it wouldn't work any more than it did then. Perhaps an Italian girl could shrug over a thing like that, but I can't. You have to understand that. I am talking about morals Marc and most importantly I am talking about love and trust."
"Love," he said very softly, his hand sliding up my arm to my throat.
My body reacted instantly as it always carved for his touch.
"Don't!" I exclaimed pulling away. " Oh, you can make me respond, I can't begin to deny that. But I am not talking about sex, I am talking about trust and honesty and I could give you neither, Marc. Not any more. Do you think I want a marriage where I am constantly wandering whose bed you are in? What sort of life it would give me? I would drive me mad after a while."
He looked at me expressionlessly for a moment, his mouth was tight and he spoke. " Very well go and get dressed Carmen. Fix yourself as my mother is coming to meet you. Please Carmen listen to me for the last time. I am begging you." He said as soon as I opened my mouth to object.
"Cathy? Why is she here?" I stared at him taken aback. His mother had a way of making you agree to whatever she says and I as a fool have already been set up by the mother-son duo.
He moved to the door and glanced back at me over his shoulders. " I asked her to come."