I know that if I took Marc to the court it would be unforgivable and yet I knew I would never face the alternative solution of seeing Tio only occasionally, perhaps never. I was reluctantly forced to the conclusion that the only way out of the difficulty was to disappear out of Marc's life for good. How I will accomplish what I was thinking was a big question.
I sighed bitterly as I reflected that with a more reasonable man, it would have been sufficient to have discussed the facts and the lawyer would have put them to her. But as the lawyer had summarized Marc was a very determined man and he would fight every step of the way whatever it cost him.
I soon reached the big hospital building and climbed the steps with the main entrance. There were more visitors in the children's ward when I reached it and I saw Marc was still sitting beside Tio's bed, watching him intently as he lay sound asleep, blissfully unaware of the noise and clutter around him.
"Hey, Carmen!" Marc rose from his seat by the bed and came to meet me and after holding my hand drew me out of the ward into the corridor. " I want to talk to you."
"Suppose Tio wakes up?" I said hesitantly.
"He will assume that I've gone for a meal." he shot me a glance." You have accomplished your business?"
"Yes yes, thank you and I want to talk to you about it actually. " I said softly.
"Wilde is being difficult about your returning to Milan? "
"Wilde? I don't know what you are talking about ?"
" I assumed that you had gone to meet your fiancé," he interrupted me smoothly, "To tell him about my proposal. That is his name right."
"Yes, it's his name. But I haven't been to see him," I stated carefully not explaining that my relationship with Don had become impossible, the moment I had met Marc again. " I've been to see the lawyer ."
Marc stiffened momentarily." And what did the lawyer have to say?
"He wants me to ask you about your access. Would you let me see Tio if I did not come to Milan with you?"
"I've told you," Marcs said harshly, his face fuming with anger. "If you choose to stay here with that Don then I shall take Tio away."
"But surely you allow me to see him sometimes?" I protested.
"If you choose to come to Milan alone yes, under those circumstances, you can see him but he will not return to London," Marc said flatly.
"Oh, Marc you are so cruel!" I murmured.
"And you are not?" He answered harshly. " I am to assume from the conclusion of this conversation that you are unwilling to return to Milan as my wife ?"
I shook my head wordlessly and turning away rushed down the corridor and out of the swinging doors of the entrance. I thought I heard Marc call my name but I couldn't stop looking behind me.
There was little point in pursuing a conversation that so plainly was not going to accomplish a solution and had I stayed longer in his presence, I would undoubtedly have broken down completely.
It is becoming increasingly obvious that I would have to pursue my plans to disappear with Tio from Marc's life and the sooner I put my mind to it with the difficulties involved, the nearer to a solution I would be.
I managed to retain myself and control my emotions during the journey home but was forced to give Aunt Beth an account of Tio's condition before I could reach the peacefulness of my room. If Aunt Beth had seen both Marc and Mathias, she must have wondered about their identity but did not press me to tell her and told me not to worry about Tio, who was obviously as strong as a horse and would be up and about in no time.
I called up Tio's ward and immediately was told that he was still asleep and that Marc was still with him.
"Will you please pass on a message to him for me, please nurse? "
"For Mr. Garcia you mean? "
"No, Tio when he wakes. Please tell him that I've had to return home as I am not feeling well." I said unsteadily.
"Don't worry Mrs. Garcia, I'll tell him."
"Can I visit him tomorrow?"
"Yes any time after nine, I think Tio is being moved to the other wing in the afternoon, so don't come then. I think that would be best if you came in the evening."
"Okay, thank you."
I replaced the phone put the kettle on the gas and went to sit in front of it. I have not been far too wrong when I told the nurse that I was ill. The emotions of the past two days had made my stomach feel decidedly unsteady, small meals and lack of sleep were not doing me any good. I realized it was obviously my bed that I needed as it was the only place for me at the moment to forget about my worries.
In the event of my worries overcoming my extreme tiredness, I tossed and turned uncomfortably through the long hours of the night. Eventually, after a long time, I fell asleep.
The birds were singing noisily, but the morning was wrapped in a dawn grey blanket. I glanced at my watch. It was later than I had thought. The grey light had deceived me. At least it meant that I had less time to waste before I could visit Tio.
After I had drunk a Cup of tea I returned to the bathroom and filled the bath, sprinkling a handful of bath salt determined to relax with the essence of it.
I had already decided what I needed to do, that they would stop. I would have to get a job in some city, perhaps in Manchester but not in London, I decided because although the chances of bumping into Marc there were less, I was unwilling to leave the smallest hint to let him know where I was. Once we got away it must be a final break.
I can rent a flat to begin with and I had enough money to help us survive until I could get a suitable job. Tio would have to go to a children's minder after school of course but I deliberately closed my mind to that problem. They would make the move first and will deal with the problems later.
A loud banging on the kitchen door roused me from my somewhat lost mind and I sat up with a jolt, aware that the water had cooled. I cleaned up out of the bath and began to dry myself vigorously throwing my bathrobe over my damp body.
The knocking had stopped when I reached the kitchen door and I peered out into the garden. The milk was on the steps so it would seem that if the milkman had a query he had decided to leave it for another day. I had called him yesterday to deliver the milk. Carefully I stepped out on the gravel path holding the milk bottles firmly in my hand.
"Carmen you are here. "
"Marc! You made me jump. I nearly dropped the milk", I exclaimed clutching the bottles tightly to my chest my breath stuck unevenly in my throat.
"I'm sorry, I could not make you hear the front door."
" I was in the bathroom. I did not hear the doorbell ring." I was suddenly very conscious of the damp and disabled state of my hair and off-toes visible beneath the bathroom. "Did you want something? "
"May I come in?" He said.
"I am not dressed!" I stammered unnecessarily.