ALAYNAI gasp in fear. “God!” The muscles deep in my belly tighten abruptly. I tear my eyes away from his and stare down at my rug. I feel my body shiver in sheer nervousness.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“The question is, why are you coming through that door just now?” His voice is unwavering.
I shake my head to gather my mind. “As far as I remember, this is myMasteryouHe stands up briskly and moves close to me. “Don’t call me that like thatDamn. Why does it sound different this time?
“What’s going on with you then? Tell me, because I’m confused. I don’t know what you’re playing at again. If you’re worried about my health, I’m perfectly fine now.”
He seethes. “I can see that. I can... smell“I was busy.”
“Flirting with Cassius in myI sneer unbelievingly, crossing my arms. “Oh, really? That was clear for you? I see nothing clear about it.”
“Don’t provoke me, Alayna,” he growls.
“No, you don’t get to do this to me. All you do is confuse me and leave me in the dark.” My voice rises, and there’s a palpable tension between us.
“What do you want me to do then?” His voice now sounds pleading. “You know our situation right now, and you’re just throwing it all away by going to my cousin. I need Cassius now, but how can I work with him when all I can think of is how he’s nearly taking you away?”
“Yes, we spoke, Brandon, and what we made clear was how we were going to put our past behind us, but that’s all. Whatever relationship I have with Cassius is none of your business!”
“It isYou“Oh, am I now?” I laugh derisively. “How about you and Pauline? Seems like I’m not the only business you have.”
“So you were jealous,” he concludes.
My anger rises. I feel my nostrils heating up. “I am not!” I deny firmly, but the bitterness in my voice says otherwise. “I am just stating what I see.”
“And what are you seeing?” he challenges.
“That... you two....” I pause breathlessly. “You’re together.A muscle in his jaw ticks. “What Pauline and I have is different.”
“How?” I step away from him, fists on my hair in frustration. “How is that different? You act differentlyHis jaw clenches, but his face remains impassive. “The difference is that she’s not you...” His voice trails off.
Silence.
Whatever he means by that, the softness of his voice oddly warms my senses.
“Be honest with me, Brandon. What do you want?”
“You can’t be his,” he mutters. “I won’t let you, Alayna.”
“You can’t expect me to listen to you after what you did to me.”
“Then fuck all this charade. I don’t want to be friends with you, Alayna. Not really.” He grasps my shoulders, his fingers digging into my skin. “But you just don’t get it. I asked you to wait.”
“I don’t want to wait anymore!” I scream in his face. I don’t think I can hold all these unexpressed feelings anymore. I lift my hand to his chest. “I’ve done that, and we broke up.”
“I understand.” He brushes his thumb on my cheek. “This is why I’m fixing the situation.”
I lean my face on his palm. I almost sob. “Still, you can’t share everything with me.”
“For the millionth time, Alayna. There are things I can’t share with you right now because it isn’t safe.”
I don’t answer; I just stare back at his face. Brandon is the most breathtaking man in the universe—his intense gray eyes, chiseled cheekbones, strong jaws, and a mouth I itch to kiss. His gaze is penetrating my deepest self.
“Now listen...” he whispers harshly. “I’ve thought this through, and because I’m impatient, I don’t think I can wait either. You’re right, it’s hard to fucking wait, but that isn’t what I meant....”
He reaches for my hands and kisses my knuckles, then my palms, and his breath comes fast.
“Alayna, do you still want me? I want your honesty about this.”
I gasp, astonished at his question. If I answer him truthfully so he can feed his ego, I’ll lose. I’ll hold on to my words forever, while he’ll just leave me with broken promises—just like what already happened to us when he left.
“Do you?” I ask instead, which I think is pathetic, but if he answers differently, I’ll know what to say next.
“I wantMy knees turn frail. I’m not expecting his declaration to be so firm.
I shut my eyes fleetingly. Maybe I’m only being too negative. My heart flutters. I’m rejoicing inside.
“I still want you,” I whisper, my breath hitching.
A faint smile curves on his lips. “Good. So take me back, Alayna.”
I clench the fabric of his shirt. My head is suddenly spinning, gathering all my thoughts together. I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to make another mistake. I can’t take any more betrayals.
“What if I don’t want to?”
“You see, I’m not bargaining,” Brandon says.
“Then am I supposed to just agree?” I say incredulously.
“Not yet. I’ll give you time.”
Right. Time. He really got used to having a lot yes“First, we’ll have to talk,” I reply. “It doesn’t have to be everything, that’s fine, but at least give me something... something I can hold on to....”
His face shows his surprise. “Alayna, but I just said—”
“Stop. This time you’ll do this your“Done.” His jaw tenses. “Come see me when you’re ready,” he says, and in a blink, he’s out of my sight, leaving me feeling wobbly.
***
A few days later, I haven’t decided, but all I can think of is our conversation that night. I perform my usual routine like a robot, but my mind is elsewhere. Brandon and my answer to his question, Oliver is still missing, my growing mixed feelings for Cassius, Pauline’s status in Brandon’s life, and last but not least, the card Jason left days ago.
I spoke to Mom the other day about Jason, and she indeed saw them right after I left Lawrence.
“Hey, Mom, um, this is about Jason...” I bit my lip, then chuckled nervously. “He found me here in New York, and I’m sure he’s with the rest, Chris and Arianna. Have you perhaps met them there? It’s kind of impossible, right? Since they were suddenly gone... And...” I sighed. “I’m asking just in case it was you....”
“Honey, I wanted to surprise you,” she told me excitedly as if their sudden farewell hadn’t bothered her before. She cried when they left too.
“Did they tell you why they left?”
“Oh.” She clicked her tongue. “I told you many times. They found a better opportunity somewhere else. They had their parents’ trust fund to support their education, so your dad and I respected their decision. Anyway, they stayed the night, and we spoke about their current lives. They’re successful now, just like you. I cooked Arianna’s favorite, and Jason is a doctor too! Can you believe that? Though I didn’t get to see Chris. My kids are all grown up...”
And there, she still sees them as her children. That’s what I thought before they left. They may have explained why they went away, but that wasn’t the reason I was looking for. Why didn’t they tell me they were leaving?
Apart from those inquisitive thoughts, my taste buds aren’t functioning normally. That’s the worst thing that could happen to a chef, so I still have to ask Casey to taste things for me. Brandon hasn’t complained about his meals, but hell, he hasn’t even shown up in front of me since then.
Should I go to him now? Am I even ready? What am I going to ask him then?
And how’s their search for Oliver going? Thankfully, I can still ask Cassius, though he always answers with incomplete details, saying that Brandon is mostly in charge of finding Ollie. It’s still surprising that he trusts his cousin with that, though we’ve been much closer since our dinner date.
Now we’re in my kitchen late at night because he missed dinner. He is eating the same meal I prepared for Brandon.
“Brandon has his men look over the likely hideouts, not just in New York but in every city, in every state possible. It’s time-consuming, it’s hard, but this is better than waiting. We’re getting there. I can feel it,” Cassius explains after he’s taken the final bite. He wipes his mouth with a napkin and gulps some water.
“I don’t mean to sound impulsive and negative, but I’m worried. What if we don’t make it? It’s been more than two weeks. That’s a very long time.”
Cassius pulls me close to him, wrapping his arms around me, and rubs circles on my back. This might be his way to comfort me, but I sense the tension in his muscles, the weight of his breath. I know he’s dead anxious about his brother’s situation too.
“I never lose hope, Alayna,” he whispers. “Oliver is strong, that’s what I truly believe, and he’ll get through this. I’m scared too, but I’m very much certain that he’ll come home.”
I curl my arms around his neck. “You’re right. He is. He’s a tough guy, and he’s very reliable. He takes care of all of us, so he can take care of himself.” I remember the moments I shared with Oliver in the past year. He really is that kind of person.
“Wow, isn’t this cozy?”cozy “Pauline,” he says coldly.
“Just go on with your, uh, thingWhat is she up to this time? She should be getting her water at the central kitchen and notnever In the past few days, I have had to deliver meals to Brandon, including hers. She’s always next to him. Whenever Brandon’s coming home, she’s already at the door waiting for him. She’s basically everywhere he is in the house. Now, how can I talk to Brandon if she’s always around? Can’t Brandon do anything about that? Was the night before only to give me more false hope?
I grit my teeth.
“By the way, Alayna,” she says, filling her glass with water. “You wouldn’t mind if I asked you about Brandon’s favorite meal, would you? I’d like to cook something for him so that you don’t need to come upstairs and deliver ourWhat the fuck? I bite my lower lip. “I don’t think you—”
“But that’s Alayna’s job, Pauline,” Cassius says. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Cassius, I didn’t mean to phrase it that way.” She says it so sweetly, I almost fall for it. “I’m only saying I probably need to practice more since Brandon and I... we’re, um, getting there, so in the future, I hope to be the one to serve his meals. It’s going to be my job to do that. Besides, Alayna’s contract is ending soon, right?” She smiles, and it looks fucking real, at least in front of Cassius.
In the future...Cassius raises his eyebrows and stands up. “What do you mean?”
“Brandon spoke to my father. I don’t know what they talked about, but I’m sure it’s about our engagement.” She shrugs. “Dad seems to be in a good mood, and he’s rarely like that.”
They must be talking about marriage. What the hell is that? I haven’t even spoken to him yet. I clasp my apron to dry my sweaty palms.
“What about Silvanus?” Cassius mentions darkly. “You haven’t gotten away from that yet.”
Pauline’s face darkens. “Don’t you ever say that name in front of me again,” she warns angrily.
Silvanus? What? Who are they talking about?“But you don’t get to decide things like that while Oliver is still missing; remember that this is your fault,” Cassius fires back.
“I know, and I’m still sorry, but what can I do? This is Brandon’s decision,” she says softly; it’s infuriating.
“Hold on,” I interject. I am missing something here. “What’s going on, Cassius?”
“Oh, right,” she says, but she’s looking right at me. She covers her mouth in faux surprise. “I’m so sorry. You aren’t supposed to say that, right?”
Cassius bites his bottom lip and averts his eyes.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Pauline drinks her water and leaves. “I’m sorry again, Cassius. I assure you, I’m trying to do anything I can to help you.”
I wait until she’s out of my freaking sight before turning back to Cassius.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Cassius? Who is Silvanus? Why is it her fault that Oliver’s missing?”
“Damn it.” He shuts his eyes and ruffles his blond hair roughly. He moves across the kitchen and rests his hands on his waist.
“Cassius, aren’t you going to answer me? Is there something else I need to know?”
“I’m sorry, Alayna.” He shakes his head. “We didn’t want you to know.”
“Quit the jabbering and just tell me!” I demand.
He sighs. “He’s our cousin... Silvanus is looking for Pauline. He’s in New York now, and he is the one who abducted Oliver.”
“And what does this have to do with Pauline?”
“Pauline and Silvanus were supposed to marry this year, but she came here...” he explains and still can’t look directly at me. “You see, this isn’t supposed to be for me to share. I wasn’t careful.”
I hold on to the counter to steady myself. “Brandon knows this?”
“He does. He decided to bring Pauline here.”
“God!” My chest clenches again. All those days, when I debated whether to accept him back or not, he had the nerve to tell me that he still wanted me, but then he had to betray me again. I gave him every chance to talk. I was ready to listen at any time, but he chose to keep this from me.
He brought Pauline into this house, knowing that she’s still engaged to someone else. Is this how much he loves her? Willing to do anything at any cost?
“And this Silvanus who abducted Oliver, he was supposed to take me instead of him, is that it?” I ask again, already anticipating the answer.
“Yes...”
I fall to my knees. Of course. Everything at any cost“Alayna!” Cassius comes to my side. “Hey...” He pulls me against his body, caressing my arms. “This is why we didn’t want you to know. We didn’t want to worry you.”
“What else are you trying to hide from me?” I ask, now unable to stop the tears.
“Brandon knows that he’s wrong about hiding this from you.”
“It’s not enough.” I push myself up from the ground and compose myself. I take a deep breath, exhale all the pain in my chest and sniff back my tears.
Did he want my answer? Fine, then I’ll give it to him. But he needs to tell me every fucking thing he’s hiding, and I’m not letting him get away from the truth again.