Olive's P.O.V.
**Trigger warning for se.xual assault**
"Tell me, Olive, how did you manage to get this guy so wrapped up in you?" Rachel asked, leaning forward, resting her chin on the palm of her hand.
"Um, I am not sure what you mean. I haven't done anything. I don't think he's that wrapped up in me."
I mean yes, he's told me he wants me and he wants to get serious. Is it really that shocking for his friends and family? Has he not had a serious relationship before?
"Oh, sweet girl, he most definitely is."
I just shook my head not believing that Lucas, of all people, could be that into me.
"You're the first girl he's been serious with since Ivy," she said.
I didn't fail to catch the grimace that played on her face for a split second. I furrowed my brows at the mention of Ivy. I've never heard her name before. Honestly, I don't know many of the names of the women Lucas has been with aside from Janessa.
"Who's Ivy?" I asked.
"Ivy was Lucas' girlfriend in college. She died in the same accident that killed John and put Leo's dad in a coma for a year," she hung her head, picking at the sides of her nail beds.
"Who's John?" I asked, feeling a swirl of emotions at her answer. Killed.
Last year seems like it was hell for Leo and Lucas. Between what I heard about Francesca and now Ivy, I am surprised Lucas is still standing.
"Geez, these guys really don't tell you anything. John was Leo's older brother."
My heart stilled, aching for Leo. He had lost his brother last year and now his father. It's a wonder he's still so kind and energetic. How is it that he can keep such a genuine smile on his face?
"I had no idea."
I let my face fall in sadness. I felt guilty for not knowing, even though I had no way of getting this information beforehand. I thought of them both, and wondered how they managed through last year. I know when Leo told me the story of Francesca, he had said that they leaned on one another. I feel like, despite them saying it's okay, I shouldn't be dating the two of them. I don't want to cause a rift in their friendship. They need each other. I am sure they're probably more like brothers than friends by now.
"It's a sad tale, so I'm not exactly surprised they didn't tell you," she said, taking a swig of her drink.
"How long had Ivy and Lucas been together when she died?" I was curious how long his most serious relationship had lasted before abruptly stopping.
"3 years. They met in their senior year of highschool, but didn't start dating till the summer before freshman year of college."
My eyes widened in surprise for a moment. Lucas can be serious. He can be very committed if he wants to be. I don't know the details of his relationship with Ivy, but to have lasted 3 years, it must have been good. Granted Julius and I had been together for over a year and he cheated on me. I guess length of relationship isn't the most determining factor of how well a relationship is doing, or did.
"That's a while."
"They were happy. Lucas had actually planned on proposing to her that night. John had been distracting her that day so that Lucas could prepare everything without her knowing. They were on their way there when they were hit."
Rachel looked like she could cry now, remembering it all. Hell, my eyes were wanting to mist over just thinking about it. It sounded like some tragic movie scene. I could just picture Lucas all dressed up with Leo at his side, waiting for her to arrive, and instead he received morbid news. How do you move on from that?
"He refused to date anyone. He wouldn't even look at other women. It wasn't until after a party, where there was drama with Leo and some girl, that Lucas started seeing women again. I am not sure what happened, but we were all just happy to see him dating again. We didn't realize he wasn't actually dating till a few months later. We realized he was just sleeping around. He's been through a lot, Olive. You need to be careful, because he seems to have grown really attached to you."
I felt my heart shatter, and reset inside my chest, only it didn't set back the exact same way. I felt deep pain for Lucas. He really has been through a lot. I am sitting here being insecure and immature about the women that used to be in his life. He very obviously told me the truth when he said he broke it off with Janessa. He is apparently being serious about wanting me more. I am still nervous, and scared to let him fully into my heart. I can't be hurt the same way.
I don't want to give my heart away so easily this time. Lucas may have been through a lot, but so have I. He'll have to show me that he really is serious about me. He can't just say it, and it can't be something that his family tries to convince me of. I have to see it for myself. I have to believe it for myself. Otherwise, I'm going to keep swinging on this pendulum of insecure emotions.
"Thank you for telling me." I said, nodding my head in agreement.
Rachel and I chatted a while longer, trying to keep the topic light after that. She told me she would be moving back to New York once she's done with her studies. She misses the noises and cold stagnant air here. She said she even misses the subway, to which I laughed.
"It seems Rachel kept you good company." Lucas' voice came from behind me, cutting my laughter short.
"That she did. She's great." I said, looking at Rachel as I spoke.
"I'm glad you think so."
He kissed the top of my head as he passed by me, taking a seat beside me. He smiled at me so cutely. It was a smile I hadn't seen before. He looked so happy, like a small child full of joy.
"Did you finish working?" I asked him.
"Sure did. I'm all caught up now, so you have my undivided attention. Sorry, I had to work."
He seemed really sad about the fact. I found it endearing that he wanted to spend so much time with me that he had pushed his work back.
"Don't apologize, your job is important. In fact, you should make sure you stay on top of it. Don't fall behind on my account." I lightly scolded him. The right corner of his lip turned up in that signature half smirk of his.
"I'll do anything you tell me."
"Sure, you will." I rolled my eyes, not believing it.
"I'll prove it to you. Tell me what to do." He egged me on.
"Okay, fine. Tell me what caused you to sleep around with so many women."
That seemed to catch him off guard. He pulled his head back a bit, in surprise. His eyes held mine in an intense gaze. He kept quiet, which I figure he would do. That's why I asked.
"See, not everything I tell you." I made my point.
"Rachel, it was great seeing you. Text me where you're staying, and I'll make sure to come hang out. Rose and I need to talk privately."
He had a serious tone, making me feel like a child that was about to be scolded for being a brat. Rachel seemed to catch the tension as well as she shot me a look. She got up, giving Lucas a kiss on the cheek as she said goodbye.
"It was nice meeting you, Rose. Hopefully I'll see more of you before I leave."
She waved at me from the door. I gave her a small wave back, but my nerves were on end. I wasn't sure what Lucas was going to say, and now I felt stupid for saying what I did. What was even the point of it?
Lucas turned from the door, his attention back on me. He walked over to me with a very intimidating look on his face. I swallowed the lump that had developed in my throat from the nerves. When he got to me, he pulled my chair out, turning it to face him. His hands rested on the back of the chair as he stared deep into my blue eyes. He surprised me when he rested his forehead against mine, shaking his head so that it rubbed against me. He then fell to his knees, laying his head on my lap. He looked so broken there, pulling at the strings of my heart.
"I'm sorry I said that. I shouldn't have asked you to tell me." I sighed, running my fingers through his thick silky hair.
He shook his head in my lap. He didn't look up at me as he started to speak.
"Don't be sorry, Rose. I said I would do anything you asked, and I meant it. It's just hard for me to share. The only person that knows about this is Leo. None of my family has a clue."
I am pretty sure I know what he is talking about, but I need to be sure. I want to know how he felt. I want to hear what happened to him from his own mouth, but I also don't want to push him if he's not ready.
"You don't have to tell me now. I never said you had to tell me now. You can wait, if you're not ready."
I'm such an idiot.
"No, I want to tell you. I can see that it's eating away at you and I hate that. Just do me a favor and keep playing with my hair while I talk. I don't think I can look at you while I tell you this story." His voice sounded so vulnerable already. He was exposing himself to me.
"I can do that." I rubbed my fingers through his hair again to assure him. He gave me a small nod before taking a deep breath.
"I went out to a party with Leo. He had lost his brother, and I recently lost my long term girlfriend. They had passed away in the crash that Leo's dad was in."
"Rachel told me about that. I am so sorry Lucas." I whispered, the sympathy clear in my voice.
"Of course she did." He shook his head in disapproval. "It was Leo's senior year and thanks to some stupid girl he was being outcasted, so I decided to take him out with me to an on campus party. I had a fake ID made for Leo so he could drink with me. We got there and the girl that had been spreading those rumors about him was there, too. I had offered for us to leave, but Leo didn't want to give her the satisfaction."
I am sure Leo feels guilty about that now. He had left that part out when told me the story.
"We partied and I stupidly left my drink unattended. I don't know, I guess as a guy I never thought anything would happen. After about 30 minutes or so I started to feel weird. I made my way to the bathroom downstairs, but there was too long of a line. I somehow made my way upstairs, looking through the bedrooms for one with a bathroom. I found one at the end of the hall. It starts to get hazy after that. Whatever drug I was slipped took hold of me. I remember laying on the bed and falling asleep. I can remember small hands running along my body."
I could feel his shoulders start to shake. I wanted to stop him, but I knew that he would need to finish his story. I felt that way once I started telling them about my life. I listened closely, biting back the tears in my eyes. I rubbed my hand over his hair, keeping my promise of playing with it while he spoke.
"I remember trying to wake myself up, but my eyes wouldn't open any more than a slant. I would drift in and out of consciousness. I remember feeling my pants be pulled down with me trying to hold on to them. The feel of a hand on my d*ck woke me up more, but the drug was so strong, making it hard for me to move or think rationally. I recall the feeling of panic before passing out again. My eyes opened once more to the girl that had spread those rumors about Leo, jumping on my d*ck. I remember how she felt. She hadn't bothered to place a condom on me as she ra.ped me."
His voice cracked at the work ra.pe. I felt the wetness of his tears on my lap with my own tears falling down my cheeks as well. I didn't want to speak. I wanted to give him a chance to finish his story before I interrupted again.
"I woke up again to Leo fighting her off me. The details are fuzzy, but I remember that worse rumors were spread about him at school. I felt like such an idiot. I couldn't believe something like that had happened to me. I didn't think it was possible, in fact, no one did. They didn't believe Leo and he told me not to tell anyone. He didn't want me to go through the ridicule, so he took the consequences of my rape." Lucas wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close as he kept his face barrier in my lap. I felt a sob leave his chest, which tore my heart in two. "I started sleeping around with women to try and claim back that part of me that she took. I wanted to prove that what she did had little effect, but it was a stupid hope. I'm such an idiot."
"No, Lucas! You're not. You were raped and none of it was your fault. Not a single thing." I cried over him, bending down and hugging him in the most awkward way. "I am so sorry that happened to you. I am so sorry you had to go through something like that."
I held onto him for a while, just letting him cry, letting both of us cry. Eventually he lifted his head and asked me to come lay down with him. We held each other close, closer than ever before as we slept together. I rubbed him mindlessly, trying to ease his troubles, even though I know that's not how trauma works.
"I love you, Rose." I heard him whisper in his sleep.
Surely I didn't hear that right, did I?