Olive's P.O.V.
Hailey twitched her leg beside me, full of nerves, even though I should be the one freaking out. She bit at her thumb nail as we waited in the doctor's office for her to return. She had done my screening yesterday and asked that I come in today. Lucas had gone with me yesterday, being a great support so I brought Hailey here with me today instead. I didn't think she would panic on me though. She was raising my anxiety up.
"Hailey, stop, you're making me nervous."
"You should be! Doctor's never call you back to the office to share good news."
I knew she was right, but I was hoping this was just a 'hey you're clear, but let's discuss options' kind of visit. Dr. Payne came in, clearing her throat as she shut the door behind her.
"Olive, I am glad you could come in so soon." She greeted me, as she sat behind her desk with Hailey and I sitting across form her. "I am afraid I have some bad news, and some good news for you."
My heart was speeding with nerves making my stomach twist. I felt a cold sweat throughout my body.
"We found a small mass in your right breast." I felt like the walls had just crashed down around me. Dr. Payne sounded so distorted as she continued talking. "We will need to schedule a lumpectomy to remove the mass. We'll send it to pathology to get it biopsied. If it comes back positive for cancer we'll start you on target radiation to the breasts."
"You said there was good news. What's the good news?" Hailey quickly asked, looking for her silver lining.
"Since it's so small, if it is cancer we caught it early enough. By removing the mass and getting targeted radiation she should be just fine. I'll schedule to remove the mass within the next few days. Depending on your results I'll refer you to an oncologist if needed."
I knew she was talking to me, but all I could hear was womp womp like the adults in Charlie Brown. I stared at my right breast like the traitor it was. I looked at it like it wasn't a piece of me anymore. It seemed foreign, making me want to just tear it off and be a cyclops breasted woman.
"Olive, let's just take this one step at a time. Keep in mind that your survival rate is extremely high even if this is cancerous. Try to keep a positive mind."
I nodded my head, unable to speak with the weight of my tongue. I stood up, rushing to get out of there. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, making me need an escape. I rushed outside with Hailey hot on my tail. When I felt the sun hit my skin, I took a deep breath, not having realized that I had been holding. I kept gasping for air like I couldn't get enough of it. Hailey rubbed my back gently, hugging me and telling me it would all be okay. I shook my head remembering mom. Remembering how awful she felt and looked at the end. I don't want that.
"Let's get you home." Hailey whispered, pulling me to the car. She drove me home and laid me on the bed. "It'll be okay, Livie. I am here for you. We'll get through this. I'll be here every step of the way."
I nodded, letting her tuck me in. I silently cried myself to sleep, waking up to Hailey's hushed whispers. I strained my ears to listen as the fog of sleep lifted more.
"She probably wouldn't tell you guys herself, but I felt you should know. Honestly, you guys are the only other friends she has. She is going to need support, but she's going to be stubborn about getting it from you." I heard her.
I groaned as I tried to open my eyes, sitting up on the bed. I turned to find Lucas and Leo on my couch staring up at me. Lucas looked so serious, biting his cheek. Leo looked like he would cry as he looked at me. I sighed, because I really didn't want Hailey to tell them. She was right I wasn't planning on letting them know. They're not just my friends. Leo is trying to date me more seriously and Lucas is sleeping with me. They don't need to be involved in this.
"Do you need anything?" Leo was the first to get up and step by my side. He was acting like I didn't know how to walk anymore.
"I'm fine." I smacked his hand away as he tried to grab my side, like he needed to walk me to the couch. "I still know how to use my legs, Leo. I have a small mass in my breast, I'm not invalid."
Leo froze, staying back as I walked towards the couch, narrowing my eyes furiously at Hailey. She just shrugged her shoulders like I should have expected it. Honestly, I really should have.
"What would you like us to do?" Lucas asked me, leaning forward on his knees.
His intense brown eyes stared deep inside me. All I could see now was a man who had been hurt, humiliated, and traumatized. I couldn't stop thinking of the story Leo told me. Lucas had been raped. Is that why he is the way he is with women? Is it to gain that part of himself back?
"Go home." I told them flatly. Lucas just sighed, bowing his head into his hands. He lifted his face back up, wiping it against his hands.
"Fine, but you better tell us when the surgery is. We want to be there." Lucas demanded as he got up.
I have noticed that he's always quick to do what I say. He's good at listening to my demands and wishes. He never argues about them, he just respects them and follows them.
"We can't leave. We just got here." Leo protested. "You don't really want us to go, do you Liv?"
I felt a slight guilt at Leo's tone. He sounded sad. He wanted to stay to feel better himself.
"You heard her, Leo. She said she wanted us to go home, so we're going." Lucas answered for me, saving me from caving and letting them stay even though I didn't want that attention right now.
"I will tell you when my surgery is. You can wait with Hailey. I am sure she wouldn't mind the company." I told them.
Leo wrapped his arm around my waist from behind, kissing my temple.
"Fine, Liv. After surgery I plan to stay glued to your side. I am going to pamper you stupid." He promised, causing me to roll my eyes. He's sweet, but I don't really want that. I just want my space right now. I have a lot to process.
"Yeah, okay." I told him, feeling him let me go.
Lucas came forward next. He grabbed my hips, pulling me flush against his chest. His eyes softened as they looked at me. He rubbed his knuckles against my cheek sweetly, making me blush. He then ran his thumb over my lower lip.
"I'll be waiting for you. Can't wait to see how you'll fight this one." He made my heart skip as he kissed my forehead.
How I fight this one, huh?
Lucas knows I love a fight and thinking of this as something I have to fight made me feel less panicked. I can fight. I can fight this the same way I fight in the ring. You're going down, breast mass!
"I always win my fights." I whispered.
"I know you do, Rose." He winked at me, with a small smirk.
He gave me the words that I didn't know I needed to hear. He made me feel more ready for this than I had all day. I don't know how he manages to lift me up like this. It seems to be something only he can do.
Hailey left about an hour after they did. I wanted to feel the sun's heat against me again, so I headed to the roof where a sweet flower garden was being grown and two lounge chairs always sat. The sun would be setting soon, leaving the sky with a bright orange tint. I sat back with my eyes closed and my arm laid above my head.
The roof door opened about 10 minutes after I got up there, disturbing my peace. I didn't bother to open my eyes and see who it was. I didn't want to have to make small talk right now. I was most especially worried it was mom's friend that lives in this building.
"This is beautiful." A familiar voice surprised me. I felt them sit in the lounge chair beside me. I peeped an eye open, seeing his broad shoulders first.