Illegitimately, a yes
She was woken by knocking at the front door. Every little noise seemed to echo up the narrow stair case of the cottage and right to the master suite but she couldn’t complain, at least she had company.
She looked at the alarm clock and groaned. It was more than time to get up. She’d developed a bad habit of sleeping late. Of course, she didn’t have anything else to do anyway, so to her sleeping most of her morning away seemed legitimate enough.
She sat up slowly, blinking and rubbing her eyes clear of sleep. She heard the faint voice of Rose as she spoke to someone.
Getting up and walking to the window, she saw a familiar midnight blue car parked in the drive, it belonged to his sister.
Quickly, she changed into some sort of clothing and headed for the bedroom door, hunger striking in more ways than one. Out in the hall, the muted conversation continued downstairs.
She walked down the stairs as quietly as she could to not disrupt them, but stepping off the last step, she was ambushed.
“Oh, Kara, you’re up!” Rose greeted her from the kitchen.
Kara flinched and walked into the room to witness Sophie staring at her. Her stomach turned but this time not from hunger.
“Hi,” Kara got out. God dammit! Should have stayed in bed. Look at her, she looks like she’s gonna eat me!
Sophie picked up the cup of tea in front of her. “Hello, Kara.”
Kara tried her best not to falter under the eyes of the lean strawberry blonde.
“You slept here?” Sophie almost snapped.
Kara moved towards the fridge and pulled it open. “Well—”
Rose cut her off though and she was glad she did. “Kara’s staying here.”
Sophie wrinkled her nose. “Why?”
Kara wanted to run back upstairs before the conversation got more in-depth.
“James is away.” Rose finished.
“Well,” Sophie snapped. “Obviously. But why is she here?”
Kara swallowed and turned back to the fridge. She? Am I not right in the room? Sophie obviously didn’t like her any more than at Christmas or the time before that. She was fully aware now how much Sophie Dray loathed her.
Kara pulled out her yogurt and shut the fridge door. “We couldn’t stay at the apartment.”
Sophie perked up. “And why is that? I haven’t heard.”
Kara grabbed a spoon and reached up to the cupboard to take a bowl.
“Well?” Sophie pressed.
“James and Carter had a fight.” Kara got the words out, but barely. She poured some granola in with her yogurt and walked to the kitchen table, sitting.
“A fight?” Sophie questioned her again. “Did my brother punch him?”
Kara sighed. She couldn’t wait to see James about his interrogator of a sister. “No, he managed not to.”
“Interesting.” Sophie gave her a half smile. “So, what is happening now?”
Rose came into the conversation again. “James is going to buy a house, so Kara’s staying here with me in the meantime.”
“What do you mean James is buying a house?” His sister’s eyes widened.
Kara glanced at her as she swallowed some food. “Yeah, he wants to.”
Sophie sipped her tea and carried on. “He hasn’t even finished his first season. What if he loses the contract?”
Kara stared at her in shock. “He’s one of the best players on the team—”
“And what if he gets hurt?” Sophie snapped. “He’ll be back at Blackwell waiting for his inheritance.”
Kara shoved some food in her mouth, attempting to satisfy her hunger and even her annoyance.
“I’m sure James has thought about it,” Rose offered.
“Well,” Sophie scoffed. “It wouldn’t be James without his impulsiveness.”
Since when is James Dray impulsive? Kara took another bite and tried not to look at her.
Rose stood and excused herself to the washroom without addressing Sophie’s snide comment.
“What do you mean he’s impulsive?” Kara questioned. “Cause’ James, from my knowledge of him—”
“What knowledge is that?” Sophie snapped. “The knowledge gained from being his bed-buddy for a few months? My brother’s reputation with women, among other things, is extensive. It was only a matter of time before he messed up. Literally.”
Kara stared at her, wracking her brain for words. “I-I don’t think he sees it that way.”
Sophie smiled and tapped the table. “Another thing about my little brother; even his mistakes he likes to make into conquests.”
Kara’s stomach flipped and she pushed her bowl away from her, no longer hungry. “Are you talking about my baby?”
Sophie almost burst into laughter. “Yes, Kara, I’m talking about the illegitimate child which our entire family is talking about. My brother is too good for this. In fact, it doesn’t quite add up. He knows better.”
It made Kara almost sick to think they were discussing them like that.
“I’m just saying this…” Sophie tilted her head, her face losing its amusement. “So you understand the gravity of it.”
Kara had never felt the immediate sadness she was feeling at that moment, and it almost made her sick. Illegitimate child? The words burned into her. It’s not even his…
Sophie only stared at her, keeping her weird little smirk on her lips. “My brother’s entire reputation could be ruined by this… baby. Do you even realize how important James is to our family? He’s our bloodline. He’s everything our parents needed and now… he’s breeding with you…”
With the last of his sister’s words, her sadness boiled to rage. She stood from the table. “Tell Rose I need to lie down.”
“Not a problem,” Sophie chirped after her as she fled the kitchen.
Never in her life had words hurt her so bad. She couldn’t make sense of it, but she understood now why James wanted to make her his wife.
She closed the bedroom door, staring into the space around her. They’re going to be so awful otherwise to us about it!
The airport was busy even for a Friday evening.
In his baseball hat and his football jacket, he waited for his baggage to arrive off the belt.
His teammate, Trevor, who he spent most of his spare time in airport line-ups with stood next to him. “You’d think they’d let us just go straight there.”
“Yeah, Kara’s not going to like it.”
“I don’t know why they did this, make us leave in another day. We don’t play till Wednesday.” He sighed. “How is Kara?”
“She’s good,” James answered, hoping that was true after his five days away. The few times he’d spoken to her she’d almost broke into tears. It made trying to comfort her over the phone hard.
“Yeah?” Trevor smiled with a laugh. “How pregnant is she?”
“Getting there,” James said as it filled him with a pride he still didn’t quite understand.
His teammate slapped him on the back with a chuckle. “Your funeral, mate.”
“I’ll live… hopefully.” James’ phone rang in his back pocket as his bag showed up on the belt. He swung it over his shoulder with ease, pulling his phone from his pocket as he said goodbye to a few others around him.
He answered his phone once he was turned away from his teammates. “Hello?”
“Hi, James.” Her soft voice crackled over the line. “It’s Lila.”
“Yes, how are you?” He continued through the crowds of people to the airport’s main doors.
“Good. Look, I’m glad you’ve picked up because I just wanted to apologize for New Year’s Eve.”
“It’s alright—”
“It’s not though,” she argued. “I shouldn’t have come and told you like that. Greg told me not to and I didn’t listen.”
“Why’s that?” He walked out into the drizzling rain of Manchester.
“Because I wanted you to know.”
“It’s not my business, Lila.” He sighed.
“I know but… things are just falling apart.”
He walked toward the black town car waiting. “What do you mean?”
They both fell dreadfully quiet, which was when she spoke again.
“Greg’s never here, he’s always at games or Uni and I’ve had to drop out because I can’t show my face there so pregnant anymore—my father is about to kill me for all this. I was being so dumb, getting pregnant like this…”
He adjusted the cap on his head as the driver popped the trunk for him. “Thank you,” he said to him. “There were things that could have been done differently if you weren’t wanting a pregnancy.” He threw his bag in the trunk and shut it before the driver could.
“I started to hang out with Greg that past month the scouts were interested in you, and then the night you got that phone call and left me… I knew we were done. I went to Greg’s and we got so drunk—”
“I paid for a car to take you home and you took it to Greg’s?”
“I was annoyed you left me like that. After flirting with me all night at the pub, buying me drinks…”
“I told you, I had to leave. It was an emergency—”
She laughed. “More important than sex?”
“Yes. It was more important than that. I said it was time sensitive—”
“But then you came home with her.”
He ducked into the car and didn’t reply.
“That’s how I know you chose her over me.”
“It’s not like that…” He took his hat off and unzipped his damp coat.
“Could you come by then?”
“I need to get home.”
“To Kara?”
He heard her jealousy spark. “Yes. I’ve been gone almost a week.”
“I know, I watched the games. You did so well.”
“Thank you.” He tried to figure out a way to end the conversation. “Listen, it’ll be alright. Greg will support you.”
“Not like you do. He doesn’t talk to me like you do, or treat me like you do.”
James sighed. “Lila…”
“I can tell you’re not satisfied with her. That’s all.”
“Oh,” he muttered, pressing the window controls above his head to give himself more privacy between him and the driver. “Is that why you told Kara I don’t fit down your throat?”
“She told you about that?”
“Why would you ever say that?”
“I was drunk and she’s just so… American… not what you need.”
“How do you know what I need?”
“An Elite,” Lila whispered. “One of us. She’s not one of us, I can tell… she can hardly carry herself properly. Plus, she always looks so pale—like she’s sickly, weak…”
“She’s what I want,” the reply moved through him with confidence.
Lila let out a sigh.
His eyes moved to the passing shops and rain. “We need to move on.”
“I just keep thinking back to before. I keep thinking about how you used to call me on your way home from practice and make me touch myself but I was never allowed to finish, not until later that night with you. Do you ever think about that? Do you think about me, sir?”
James shut his eyes with his exhale. “Lila, enough.”
“I can’t stop though, it’s always on my mind, all of it. The way you’d make me feel and how you’d watch me take you, like I was the only woman in the world. Greg doesn’t do any of that—he just goes and plays a game or goes to the pub with Carter and Fred then comes home sloshed and expects me to spread my legs for him!”
He’d heard enough and snapped, “Jesus, Lila, what do you want me to do about all of that? You should not have gotten in his bed. You knew what Greg is like—”
“I didn’t but I do now, don’t worry,” she snapped. “He’s so fucking boring.”
James leaned back in his seat and shut his eyes in defeat. “This conversation needs to end.”
“Fine.”
“Have a good evening.”
She hung up fast, making it easy for him and he glanced down at the dark screen as it flashed the amount of time he’d been in the call with her. It had to be the longest he’d ever been on the phone with her ever and he was thankful it was over.
Kara heard the shuffling of keys followed by the sound of the front door opening and closing, and her heart pinged. She’d been waiting in the kitchen for the past hour for him. The anxiety she’d fought over and over, as her mind repeated the conversation with Sophie again and again. She hadn’t gotten much relief from it. It’d been haunting her all day and she knew it would continue to.
“That took you forever.”
He looked up, removing his runners from his feet. “There was traffic out of Manchester.”
“You missed supper but I put some in the fridge for you.”
“Thank you.” He unzipped his coat and hung it up. “How was your day?”
Her stomach churned. “Your sister was here.”
“Mm.” He took out his wallet and keys from his pockets, putting them to the mail table in the hallway. “What did she have to say?”
“A lot…” she breathed. “About my pregnancy.”
His eyes went to her and he paused. “What?”
Kara glanced over her shoulder to make sure Rose wasn’t nearby. “She said some really bad things to me,” her voice whispered.
“Bad how?” He came toward her.
“Bad like how your whole family thinks us being together is not good. They hate me. I told you…”
James swallowed. “That’s not true. Just ignore what she’s said. Sophie can just be stuck up.”
“No, I can’t do that!” Kara’s voice got a bit loud and he hushed her, bringing his hands to her arms. “What if they know? They could know about me, what I am—”
He kissed her forehead. “It’s alright, Kara. They don’t know, trust me.”
She fought her tears and pushed into him for a hug, mumbling, “I picked out a date. May twentieth.”
“For what?” His hands moved over her back.
She gulped. “Our wedding.”
“Oh…” He pulled back quickly and looked down at her. “May twentieth?”
“Yeah,” she nodded, wiping at one single tear along her cheek. “Is that okay? Do you have a game?”
“Doesn’t matter.” He assured her, “whatever date you want, love.”
Kara buckled into his chest and shut her eyes.
“Oh, you’re home!” Rose appeared from the sitting room. “How was it?”
“Good,” James said. Kara turned out of his arms in that moment, away from Rose and wiped her tears out of view.
“Are you peckish? Kara saved you dinner.”
“Yes, please.”
“I’ll warm it up.” Kara walked into the kitchen and he followed her. It was a good way to get her emotions back in check after almost having a breakdown in his arms moments before.
She stood at the counters and watched the microwave heat the food. She’d put it in for four minutes to ensure it would be hot for him.
“Kara…”
She turned as he sat at the table and put his laptop down in front of him.
“Come look.”
“At what?” She breathed.
“The realtor sent me some new listings.” His eyes stayed fixed on her until she walked over, taking the back of the chair next to him but he took her into his lap instead.
He pushed the screen up and it lit the dim kitchen as night fell around the cottage. She nudged her back against his chest and waited for the internet page to load. Her mind hadn’t left the topic they’d been talking about when he’d walked in the door yet but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about it more with him.
He opened his email and her eyes wandered down the scrolling page and the array of emails from his coach and team.
“I want you to look at this one. It has a backyard.”
“A backyard?” she echoed. That meant a house and property. He couldn’t be serious but she realized he was once the picture-perfect cottage showed up on the screen with its quaint bushes and restored doors. She loved it and it’s two level vine-covered exterior. Old world charm wasn’t enough of a title like the ad suggested but the one point four million pound price tag was.
His arm around her side went under her shirt to her belly. “So the baby has a place to play. What do you think?” His loving smile only made her heart break.
“Oh, James…” She turned her cheek to look at him and almost burst into tears. It was a blinding emotion to be with a man that was so willing to accept her and her fuck ups like he did.
His arms tightened on her. “Kara.”
Her tears came streaming down her face like all afternoon in the bedroom but these ones were so much different.
“Hush, love.”
She pressed her face to his shoulder and let out a few sobs.
“I’m sorry for what my sister said to you. It wasn’t fair and it’s none of her business.” It might not have been anyone’s business but no one seemed interested in that fact.
Kara sucked in a breath and shut her eyes, enjoying his warmth she hadn’t felt in five long days.
“What do you think of the house?”
She opened her teary eyes as the microwave let them know it was done. He didn’t let her go, though.
“Do you like it?”
She looked back to the listing on the laptop as the pictures scrolled through automatically. A big kitchen, cozy living room, and clawfoot tub amongst all its other beautiful features.
“I love it,” she breathed, getting off his lap to get his food. “But it’s so expensive. Like…” She brushed past her emotions. “Like that’s how much American?”
James waited as she put his food in front of him and pushed the computer aside.
“Do you need anything else?”
He gave her a smile. “No, thank you. And, it doesn’t really matter how much American, love, I make British pounds.”
Kara swallowed with a nod. “Yeah, it’s just a lot. I don’t know how I could live in a house that nice.”
He picked up the fork on his plate and started to eat. “What do you mean that nice? It’s a house.”
“It has granite counters, James.”
He looked to her. “Kara, do you like the house?”
She bit her lip and thought it through. “How could anyone not?”
“We’ll go see it tomorrow.” He got a bit disgruntled and shoved some food in his mouth.
Her heart thumped. “Tomorrow?”
“I have twenty-four hours until the flight to Portugal.”
Kara swallowed. “That’s all?”
“It will be the best twenty-four hours of your life. I promise. And on second thought, is there any beer in that fridge?”
She nodded and went to fetch it for him. “I made your grandmother’s personal shopper get you some.”
“That was very domestic of you,” he laughed.
She smiled and opened the fridge, grabbing a beer. “She won’t let me go shopping. Did you know that hired people do everything for her?”
“The estate pays for all that. She likes to live on her own, but she’s fully cared for.”
“I can see that.” She handed him the beer after she twisted it open. “I just kind of miss going to the store, it gave me something to do.”
He glanced at her and sipped the drink.
“You probably like me home, where I can’t get stalked, right?”
“That’s not it,” he mumbled.
Kara sat next to him and sighed, letting it all go. It didn’t matter if she never saw the light of day again, at least she was safe in the cottage with his grandmother. There was an invisible ring of protection and though she couldn’t quite put her finger on it, she definitely felt the safety it held.
“Just until this all washes over.”
“You mean, hope he doesn’t find me again.”
“He won’t. That’s why we came here.”
She nodded, taking a lead like breath of air into her lungs. Nothing seemed for sure or a promise, she just had to take it day by day and hope it all worked out.
Her stomach flipped and she put a hand to her belly as she felt the accompanied bubbles and swooshes. She’d been feeling it the past few days and it had begun to get impossible to ignore.
“I think I can feel the baby moving.”
James looked to her and then glanced to her stomach as she held it.
“It’s just flutters. It’s kinda weird…”
He was close to finishing his food as he took another bite. “I guess that means you really are pregnant.”
Kara rolled her eyes. “If everything else wasn’t enough, now I get to get beat up from the inside. Yay.”
He smiled and kept eating.
“I think it’s a girl.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged a shoulder. “That’s just what I feel at least.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Why?” She almost laughed at him. “You want another me to deal with?”
His eyes paused on her. “That wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen. Besides, I prefer the company of women.”
She smiled, liking his answer and knowing how true it was.
As he finished his food, he stood and shut the laptop. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Okay.” Kara watched him leave and sat back in the chair as he disappeared out of the kitchen and down the hall toward the washroom. That’s when his phone buzzed on the table and startled her out of her wandering thoughts. Her eyes went to it as it lit up and Lila’s name across the screen caught her attention. She grabbed it and looked at the message that had come through.
Lila: I didn’t mean to upset you earlier. I just miss you so much, James.
Kara stared at it, reading it once more. She heard him returning and dropped the phone from her palm to the table without a care for the expensive technology. She stood to leave the kitchen before he got back but she met him in the doorframe.
“Do you want to look at more listings?”
“No.” She snapped, brushing past him.
“Kara…” He stopped her mid-step on the bottom stair. “Are you tired?”
“Definitely tired of your ex-girlfriend. Yep.”
James creased his brow. “What?”
“She texted you… that she misses you. Do you miss her?”
He rolled his eyes and it was enough of a reply for her. She jogged her way upstairs to the bedroom, to lock herself and emotions up. She shivered when she sat down on the bed and her eyes went to the shower in the small bathroom. It would warm her up at least.
She marched toward it as her emotions swung back and forth on how to handle the situation at hand. Earlier? What does that mean… today? It sounds like today.
She flipped on the hot water and took off each article of clothing with not a care in the world, chucking it into a pile in the corner. As soon as she was under the spray of hot water, it brought her some relief in a moment clouded with confusion.
“Kara.”
She shut her eyes and let the water fall over her.
“I don’t miss her. At all.”
It made her angry that’s all he’d managed to say and she opened the shower door just a crack to find him standing right in front of her. She swallowed some of the water that had pooled into her mouth during the action.
“Why is she texting you!”
“Because she called me today and said sorry for New Years. We’re decent friends, Kara.”
Her eyes got bigger and she shut the door. “Go away!””
He didn’t. “She’s just having a hard time.”
Kara let out a laugh. “Yeah, her life seems super hard! Rich and beautiful and misses you…” She heard him sigh.
“It’s mostly about her recent choices with Greg—”
She couldn’t take it anymore and shut off the faucet. When she stepped out he had a towel for her and she snatched it, covering herself but getting cold almost immediately.
“At least she got to fully consent to the sex that lead to her pregnancy. At least she enjoyed it. I would give a lot right now to have that with this baby inside me.”
James winced. “Kara…”
“Oh god, just don’t!” She shouted and walked around him and out of the bathroom, shivering. She got under the blankets and discarded the towel, shoving her face in a pillow to soak up her tears.
“Am I allowed to talk to you?”
She shook her head into the pillow.
“Can I hold you?”
She continued to shake her head.
“Right.” He walked to the bedroom door and she sat up in bed, clutching the blankets to her bare chest.
“James…” Her voice wavered with her uneven emotions.
He walked over to the bed at the same moment. “You know I only love you.”
She nodded and he lay down next to her, guiding her onto his chest but he didn’t have to do much as she collapsed into him.
“I hate her.”
He didn’t reply.
“She’s so perfect.”
Still he said nothing.
“You both go together so well.”
“We don’t,” he breathed finally, tangling his fingers in her wet hair. “We were just friends up until a year ago… I never made anything official with her. I wanted a football contract, not a girlfriend. We’d just… fuck. That’s all it ever was. To me.”
She shut her eyes from the truth and the truth that he’d found someone after her did burn. Even if it was just for sex. “So, she was just…”
“If I must say this, I perform better when I’m having sex reguarlily,” his clairfication came with some awkwardness.
“You what?” She cringed.
“It helps me keep my focus. More specifically when the woman enjoys my company and Lila did.”
Kara mumbled, “What girl wouldn’t like you? Honestly.”
“Plenty.” He admitted in all seriousness. “Women that don’t like to comply.”
She paused. “What’s that even mean?”
“Well…” He thought. “I just prefer to be the one in control. Some women find that offensive, I suppose.”
Her heart fluttered as she processed what he meant.
“Getting laid isn’t an issue, it’s finding someone who enjoys that sort of thing longer term. That can be harder to find. With Lila it worked out, for a bit.” His replies were so calculated she almost got annoyed by it but held her patience for him.
“She enjoyed what?”
“I suppose being at my disposal. She’s having a problem letting that go.”
She pushed up on her palms. “What does that mean? Like your slave? Sex slave…” She wrinkled her nose up. “Please say no.”
He stared at her and slowly repeated what she wanted to hear. “Definitely a no.”
She relaxed her shoulders with her exhale. “That would be gross.”
“What part, her doing it or the BDSM bit?”
Kara’s eyes moved over him with astonishment. “Is that a serious question?”
James watched her through the bit of light the bathroom across the room provided and he leaned up on his elbow toward her, taking the back of her head to give her a kiss.
She stopped him. “James, we’re talking.”
He fell back into the bed with a grunt. “She’s made a mistake with Greg but it’s not my business. Not like that, at least.” Everything he said was so cryptic, shrouded but completely honest, she didn’t know what to make of it. His hand adjusted on her waist and squeezed. “Anyway.”
Kara looked down at him and shook her head from exhaustion. “But you’re not really into all that, right? Like the BD-B… whips, chains…” She didn’t know how else to say it.
“No, I’m not,” he answered.
“Good.” She relaxed on that note and he pulled her onto his chest with it. Her body broke to the lines he made her follow, tucking her nose into his neck as his arms wrapped around her tight.
Her knee hitched between his legs and she mumbled, “I guess I’m a lot easier to keep happy than her…”
“I work harder to keep you happy than I ever have for anyone.”
His honesty struck her and she shut her eyes through the wince.
“I don’t get that. I’m not complicated.”
“That’s what makes you so difficult for me. You just told me downstairs you can’t live in the house on the listing because it has granite counters and it’s too nice.”
“It is too nice.”
“You deserve it.”
“James, please, no…” she breathed, hoping he’d stop overwhelming her mind.
“Then I’ll just buy it.”
“If you do that…” She lifted her head to look down at him. “I’ll beat you.”
He chuckled. “Will you now?”
Her bottom lip pouted outward as she envisioned the punishment for him taking place. “Yeah, okay, never mind.”
“Right.” He nodded, bringing his hand along her shoulder to brush her hair away.
She rolled her eyes and slumped back into him carelessly.
He groaned but caught her. “Mind your stomach, love.”
She shut her eyes, mumbling in defeat. He’d won, he always won and always would.