REFUSING ANDY
"W.h.a.t?" I stammer, feeling confused.
"Turn around." She asserts.
What the heck is she up to?
I do as she asks, albeit with dismay, and I meet with the only person I was hiding . Right in front of me stands my tormentor, my... wait.
What the hell is he doing here! Did this bitch friend of mine set me up? Did...
I turn to look at my phone in my hands, and wow! Just wow! My friend hung up on a long time ago.
Ooh, I will so kill that bitch friend of mine! How dare she? She better...
"So you want to forget me, huh? Can you?"
So he was listening to our conversation?
Shit! I did not want this.
Damn you Rita!
All the same, I think it's high time I show him what Tania Marie Lawson is made . How dare he challenge me?
Is he enjoying toying with me this way? Is he taking pleasure in torturing me with stupid kisses of his?
I hear his footsteps getting closer, and I stand up to face him, this time around, with my guards on. I won't be swayed by his sweet cold talks or anything.
"Yes, and yes. I do not know what kind of games you and Rita are playing and , but it's not going to work." I fume, cool like a cucumber, and with my head high, eyes straight on his.
"Can we talk?"
Oh, my! Talk? Brilliant Andy! Just brilliant!
When I came to you, did you want to talk? Did you even spare me a glance? Did even bother to know what I wanted to say? No, right? And you now connive my friend to trick me into this? No, Andy! It does not work that way. You did care when I wanted to, I also don't care about what you want to talk about now.
This madness ends tonight.
"No! We have absolutely nothing to talk about unless it's about work." I am not shaking as I talk to him.
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to. Can you respect my decision?"
He walks closer, closing the gap between us. "Come on, Ania. Let's talk, please."
"No! You should be glad that at least I dare to say no to you, unlike you who me like trash."
"I am sorry. Hear me out. Just...let me explain. Please?"
"Still no. I do not want to talk, please?"
He raises his hand to my face, brushing my left cheek with the back of his fingers.
If it was some few minutes back from now, I would have closed my eyes to savour magical spark of his touch. I would probably have asked him to kiss me, but things have changed. The rules have changed. It will be no longer about my desires and longings. I will not use my heart to think again. Let the brain due sole purpose.
He leans in, and our eyes meet. The spark is still there, so strong, but today I will allow myself to be deceived by his miserable eyes. This look isn't going to me anymore. I refuse to be their prisoner.
I said I will not get lost in his eyes today, but unfortunately, I did. I only realised it now when I felt his lips brushing mine, his eyes closed, a good and tempting of him, but I gather all the courage and pull my head aside.
He holds his breath, and speaks with a voice that can soothe even the devil. But not . Not anymore.
"You don't even want my kisses?"
"No, Adrian."
That got him to look up, his eyes so dark, the way I liked them before now. I still , but I can control my urge now. My guards are not failing me today. I had his full name up until now - Adrian cold Ashton. He should embrace the name.
His hand declines from my face, leaving a sweet warmth on my face. He nods his and takes a few steps from me, stopping to stare at me for a minute, perhaps if I am the same person who until this morning used to melt in his touch. He then turns slowly, nodding his to what I don't know, and walk out my room.
There! There, Tania! He isn't deserving of your tears, and definitely not the love were so willing to give him. Hush now! See? He did not say anything. He has for you. No feelings, no love, no nothing!
This hurts me like a double-edged sword cutting through my flesh. so much so, but
I will get used to it in no time. I will.
This life is sometimes so unfair. Or maybe I am the one who was stupid enough to myself to fall for a billionaire like him. A man of such pedigree. My! What I thinking? No, rephrase that. Was I even thinking at all? A billionaire falling his poor maid? Ooh, come on, dear self! Learn to set your eyes on things within standards.
It's time to wake up from that foolish dream and face reality. Enough with the self- that Andy can ever be mine. We are from two different worlds, worlds no common ground and hence, I should focus entirely on what brought me before I lose my sanity over things that are not important. I am letting go of feelings. From now on, I will see and relate to him as only my boss and else. Goodbye Andy, and hello, Adrian freaking Ashon-my boss.
Before my eyes can betray me and reveal what I truly feel inside, I get on my bed, pull the duvet up to my neck, I close my eyes, and drift off to the of silence and darkness. The world of pure peace.