I was lucky enough to be brought back to safety with them and even luckier that the Alpha decided to adopt me despite being just an omega. Sinclair had lost his mother and younger brother only a few months before that night. So the Alpha thought he could use the company.
I always admired and wanted to make him proud growing up, but that soon changed into more. I place a hand on my thundering heart, suddenly feeling very alone when I realize I am about to lose my only family. Lose the only life I have known.
Alpha Aeron will make sure I am gone. Maybe I should leave before then.
How could I be so foolish? Obviously, Grandmother Philomena wants only the very best for her grandson. After all, he is the only heir and the future Alpha. Only an alpha female will be fit to be his Luna since he never found his mate. He can't have just anyone, let alone someone like me.
Goddess, I am so stupid!
I brush the tears that threaten to spill from my eyes away as I turn, hurrying down the hall. I don't want to return to that party anymore.
I run into the back garden. My heart races as I stare down at the water in the fountain. The weather is cool, and the moon is shining, but I feel devastated. I didn’t think the day could get any worse, but it just did.
"Evangeline." I freeze as I realize who just called me, and I'm unsure if I should turn.
Sinclair.
I turn, knowing it will be disobeying my future Alpha if I don't. So, I turn slowly and gaze up into his handsome face, trying not to let my anguish show. Is the Moon Goddess out to get me? Not only did I lose one family, but now two. And now I will be removed from the one man I want with every fiber of my being. Is she trying to break me? Because I can assure her right now there is nothing else left to break.
He tilts his head, and those sexy eyes observe me.
"Is something wrong? What is it, Angel?" he asks, using the pet name that gets to me every time.
I open my mouth to tell him what was said inside when I remember Grandmother Philomena’s words. I observe Sinclair intently, not missing how his eyes flicker to my breasts.
I like him, too, and I would love to be a part of his life, but there can be nothing between us. Now that I can't even shift, I really am useless. It would be selfish of me to even beg that of him.
"Nothing’s wrong," I mumble quietly. I realize this is the first time I've lied to him.
His eyes narrow calculatingly before he reaches down and caresses my cheek. "Are you sure?" he asks, stepping closer.
My heart is racing as his gaze travels to my lips.
"Yeah," I reply, trying my best not to back away. His hand doesn't move from my cheek; his touch makes my body react.
"You’re lying to me," he says quietly in a raspy voice as he leans in closer, his gaze dipping to my lips.
"Sinclair," I whisper as he cups my face.
I know we shouldn’t, not after what I just heard inside.
He doesn't respond. His lips press against mine in a tender, deep kiss that steals my breath away. I gasp, daring to place my hands on his chest.
Sinclair is kissing me.
The kiss that starts gently suddenly becomes hungrier and rougher. I feel him throb against me. I tense, only for him to plunge his tongue into my mouth, and it is at this moment that fear envelops me. His hold becomes tighter, painful even, and I'm no longer enjoying this.
I force myself back, unable to stop myself from pushing at his chest with what little strength I have.
He stares down at me with his blazing eyes. "What’s wrong?" he asks, his voice sounding almost harsh.
“You were late, you promised me,” I murmur. His eyes flicker dark, his jaw clenching.
“Sinclair, I–” I try to speak, yet words fail me as the look on his face turns darker. I shake my head, feeling scared, and I step back, my heart thundering. For a moment, I don’t recognize the man before me.
“I asked you a question. What is wrong, Evangeline?" he looks at me with a feral hunger so different from the Sinclair I know.
"It’s nothing-"
"Isn’t this what you wanted?" he asks, sounding frustrated.
I shake my head, making his frown deepen.
"No, I mean! It is… it was… but- but don’t you need to take a luna of alpha blood?" I ask quietly.
He raises an eyebrow. "And? What’s that got to do with you?" he snaps angrily, making me flinch.
It would have hurt less if he had just slapped me.
Realization dawns on me. He just wants me for my body. A toy, exactly what Celia said, a side bitch. One to worship his cock when his Luna couldn’t be bothered. Nothing more and nothing less.
Why did I think there was more? Why did I believe he would want me for more than my body could offer? I am just something to use for him now.
Grandmother Philomena is wrong. This is nothing more than being just sexual for him. Alphas need strong lunas, but they enjoy submissive omegas.
"Evangeline, you’re an omega. Your body is made for me; all I'm doing tonight is making you mine."
My eyes lift to his, and he steps closer, his hands reaching for me.
His! For so long, I wanted to be his, wanted him to be mine. But not like this.
How could I be so stupid? How could I let myself believe he could truly love me?
I feel foolish. I am what everyone says, what Celia said. I am a nobody and will never be anything to Sinclair except someone to fill his bed on request.
I step back from him, needing some distance to think clearly. “B-but do you mean as yours, on the side?” I whisper.
His gaze softens, and he sighs, stepping closer and grabbing me by my waist; he pulls me close.
“Of course. I care for you, but we know you can't be a luna or even a bear pups. So, you should consider yourself lucky that I will still keep you. No one else will want you, but I still do,” he says softly. “I’m sorry if I scared you tonight, Evangeline. I just… You look beautiful. You’re my little omega.”
His words sting, and somehow, I feel like the man I admired is vanishing, but then… why is his gaze so soft? Maybe I am overreacting.
Deep down, I don't believe that, though, I am hurt.
The sound of footsteps approaching comes, and Sinclair's eyes flash with irritation before he steps away from me. On the other hand, I feel relief wash over me as Grandmother Philomena comes into view.
“Ah, there you are, Evangeline! Come, I have a gift for you." Her eyes flicker between us both before she motions at me to hurry, and for the first time in my life, I am thankful to get away from Sinclair.
I follow Grandmother Philomena, not even realizing I am shaking slightly. I had imagined my first kiss a thousand times, but it wasn’t how I had expected it. I never imagined it to be filled with so much torment.
I dreamt of kissing Sinclair a thousand times, yet now that I have, it hurts worse than the wishful thinking. For so long, I wanted him and thought he would love me. I was naive. He loves the idea of me as his side whore and nothing more because I am an omega, an object for him to use when he couldn’t be bothered to pleasure himself, right?
His apology niggles at my mind, and the urge to run to my room fills me.
“Step up!” Grandmother Philomena says curtly.
“Yes, Grandmother Philomena!”
I hurry after her brisk stride until we end up in the room, where I overheard her and Alpha Aeron talking.
“Right, so the gift is this… there is a ball tomorrow evening at the Alpha of Alphas’ castle, and of course, we are invited. You will come, too.”
My stomach sinks. So soon… they are getting rid of me so soon. I won’t even have a chance to say goodbye to the only home I have known. If it were not for the conversation earlier, I wouldn’t have been worried, but taking me to a ball on a full moon where all werewolves are more restless and hungrier, I know it is how they are planning to rid me from the pack.
“Grandmother, wi-will it be okay if I come? I mean, I'm just an omega?”
“You will be fine, come as my assistant. You are easy on the eyes and no one will mind. I will have your clothes sent to you. I expect you to be ready at nine sharp in the evening!” her tone leaves no room for argument.
“Yes, ma’am,” I reply, lowering my head to her.
“Now off you go, enjoy the party. I shall head to bed.”
I turn and pause. A part of me wants to ask her what will happen to me now that I am a wolfless omega, but I can't gather the courage and instead leave the room and bid her goodnight.
-----
The following day, I woke up exhausted. I didn’t sleep well and tossed and turned all night, watching the shadows cast on the roof from my open curtains. I don't know how I will face Sinclair. Will he be angry at me for doing what I did? He has always been so good to me.
I sit up, clutching the duvet to my chest. My bedroom is on the far end of the house, and with no direct sunlight, it is one of the chillier rooms of the manor. Now I wonder if I was placed over here intentionally so as not to disturb the future Alpha.
Knowing I can't stay in bed, I decide to spend the day cleaning after last night's party. What better way to avoid Sinclair than this?
Hours pass, but I don't stop, making sure I clean every window in the mansion aside from Sinclair’s and the Alpha’s rooms. I am finally finishing the attic window when my gaze falls on Sinclair, who is on the training grounds behind the Manor Gardens. He is shirtless as he trains with one of the warriors.
I watch him, my heart squeezing at what happened last night, and I sigh softly, slowly getting down from the stool I used to reach the skylight window. I sit on the stool, drop the cloth into the bucket, and gaze around the attic. Boxes, crates, and suitcases of things never used are piled to the side. I am going to have to face him at some point.
“EVANGELINE!”
I flinch at Grandmother Philomena’s voice, and I quickly grab my bucket and clothes and rush from the room.
“Y-Yes?!” I call, hurrying down the steps, flinching when I stub my toe on the corner of the wall. Pain shoots through my toe and foot, and I barely hold back the curse I want to let fly from my lips.
I hurry around the corner, my feet padding on the wooden floor before I come to a skidding halt when I see her climbing the stairs and heading toward me. I slow my pace, wary after last night.
“There you are,” she tutts, looking at me with disapproval. I try to flatten out my clothes, wiping the dust, not wanting her to be disappointed in my messy state.
Her frown deepened as she looked at my bare feet and hair, which I knew must have cobwebs from the attic. I awkwardly shift my weight from foot to foot while her lips purse, her disappointment clear.
“Go shower. I have called a beautician to fix you up. You know Evangeline, I have invested much time into your upbringing. You may be an omega, but you have had the upbringing of a lady; do well to remember that. I don’t want you to disappoint me tonight.”
I drop my gaze, feeling her words cut deeper than usual. They sting as she scolds me like a naughty child.
“Yes, Grandmother,” I reply, clutching my bucket tightly.
She sighs as she comes over and slaps my shoulder. “What did I say about slouching?”
“S-Sorry!” I stand up straight, sticking my chin out, fixing my posture, and squaring my shoulders.
She nods toward my room. “Better. Now go.”
I hastily rush off, unable to stand her judgy eyes – wanting to escape. Grandmother Philomena has never been so snappy with me. I wonder if her worries are getting the better of her. Or am I a disappointment, and she is now truly seeing me, seeing an omega, and not the girl she raised as her granddaughter?