I find Brad waiting at my locker. I put my books away, and we walk hand in hand to the car park. He opens the passenger door for me and closes it once I’m seated. Brad plucks a white daisy from the garden in front of the car, sits in the driver’s seat, and gives it to me, ‘A beautiful flower for a beautiful girl,’ he smiles.
‘Thank you,’ I say, accepting it. I smell its fragrance.
‘You always wear that beanie, even on warm days like today. What’s with that?’ Brad asks.
‘Oh, um. I’m just really fond of it, even in the summertime,’ I smile nervously.
‘I see,’ he says.
Brad drives down by the river, pulls a picnic blanket out of his car, and lays it on the grass. We sit cuddled up to each other and watch the river flow quickly. No one else is around, and we’re surrounded by trees and bushes.
After a short while, Brad starts kissing me and straddles himself over me as he lowers me back. His hands make their way from my stomach towards my breasts, but I grab his hands, stopping him.
‘I thought we could finish what you started at lunchtime,’ he says.
‘Brad,’ I say, wiggling out from under him, and sit up. ‘I like you a lot, and my feelings for you have grown each day, even to my surprise, but I want to wait a little longer,’ I say to him.
He stares at me blankly for a moment before forming a small smile, ‘I get it. It’s okay,’ he says. ‘You were just teasing me, giving me a taste for what’s to come, right?’ he says.
‘At lunchtime? I didn’t realise what I was doing at the time, to be honest,’ I say to him.
His eyes narrow for a moment, ‘You’re not just stringing me along, are you, Rose? Because I really like you. I’ve had feelings for you all year long, and I don’t want to be used like I was with my last girlfriend,’ he says, with a look of hurt.
‘No. It’s nothing like that. I swear,’ I take Brad's hands and hold them. ‘I really like you too, and I can see myself eventually falling in love with you. You’ve been so good to me. I just want you to wait a little longer, that’s all,’ I assure him.
Brad's small smile widens, ‘I want to tell you something, but I’m worried I’ll scare you away,’ he says.
‘You can tell me anything, we’re together after all, so we need to be able to confide in each other,’ I tell him.
‘Okay, but promise you won’t freak out?’ he says.
‘I promise,’ I reply.
‘I love you, Rose. I know it’s sudden, but it’s true. All year, every day, I haven’t been able to stop thinking of you and dreamt of the day I’d finally be able to kiss you and have all of you. I yearn for the moment to make sweet love to you,’ he says and cups my face.
My heart pounds at his words, and the flame inside my body has ignited once again, desperate for a man’s touch.
My lips smash against his, and my hands explore his back as he grips my waist. I pull his shirt off and press kisses against his chest. My body is on fire, and each touch, makes me urge for more.
But then panic sets in as his hands find their way under my shirt and towards my back. I can’t let him feel my tail.
Suddenly my phone rings, bursting us out of our intimate bubble.
Brad’s eyebrows scrunch in annoyance, ‘Don’t answer it,’ he says in a frustrated tone.
‘It could be urgent,’ I tell him.
‘It won’t be. Let's keep going,’ Brad persists.
‘I’m sorry, Brad, I have to answer it,’ I tell him, knowing it’s my only way to get away and stop him from finding my tail.
I grab my phone to see it's Janie. Brad grabs the phone before I can answer it and tosses it behind him onto the grass. ‘It’s just Janie. Ignore her,’ he says.
‘Brad, you can’t just take my phone off of me and throw it away,’ I say, angry at him and stand up to retrieve it.
Suddenly I’m pinned against the tree with one hand. The pain sears through my back as I stare into Brad’s menacing eyes. He punches the tree with his other hand, grazing his knuckles. The anger from his face dissipates and is replaced with a look of worry. He quickly lets me go and hugs me.
‘Rose, are you okay? I’m so sorry, why did you make me do that? Please tell me you’re okay?’ he says, his voice full of concern and worry.
I can feel the scrape across my back already healing, but the ache in my chest remains. I stare at him in disbelief and hurt.
‘I’m so sorry, Rose,’ he says barely in a whisper.
‘You pushed me,’ I say to him, slightly trembling.
‘You upset me, Rose. You were going to choose a phone call with someone you see every day over your boyfriend and in such an intimate moment. You assured me you weren’t stringing me along, that you weren’t just teasing me, and here you are taking a phone call over me. I just told you I love you, and this is what you do to me? You made me do this, Rose,’ he says, his eyes filling with tears.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say to him, feeling guilty, ‘Please forgive me? I was being insensitive and wasn’t thinking of your feelings,’ I tell him.
‘It’s okay, I forgive you,’ he says, pulling me into him.
The hug doesn’t feel right. The passion, the lust has gone. It feels cold and hard, like I’m hugging a statue. But it’s my fault for pushing Brad away.
'I'll take you home,' Brad says, his voice gentle as he breaks the hug.
I nod, feeling the weight of the awkwardness between us. As I reach for my phone, which has been ringing nonstop, Brad gives me a small smile and heads towards the car.